BREAKING: HOT NEW RUMOR- LONG TIME 3RD DCA JUDGE DAVID GERSTEN TO HANG UP HIS WORD PROCESSOR FOR PRIVATE PRACTICE. He will join Donner and Dancer and Blitzin at the north pole.....woops...he will join Bilzin, Sumberg Baena Price & Axelrod, LLP. His last day to vote to affirm is July 5, 2011.
Attention: The Colonel Of County Court has an announcement:
DUI DIVERSION PROGRAM IN EFFECT AS OF TODAY:
Up through Monday May 2, 2011, if you had a client who had a first DUI (simple case- no accident, no injuries) and the case went to trial and you lost, the prosecution would ask for jail (up to six months) and Judges would normally give jail and everyone would join in the fiasco that the client was not being punished for going to trial. No one would mention that the plea offer seconds before the jury was brought down was a non-jail offer. But the Judge and prosecution would go out of their way to justify the punishment based on "the facts of the case."No more. As of today, Monday May 9, 2011, DUI DIVERSION is now in effect. Your client, if he or she jumps through some hoops and pays a boatload of money (it's always about money Rumpole, isn't it?) and has DUI in which there is not an accident or an injury, they will get a reduction to a reckless driving and a withhold of adjudication.
How will these judges and prosecutors ever be able to look at themselves in the mirror again based on how they treated first DUI offenders who had the temerity to demand the state prove the case beyond a reasonable doubt?
Nota Bene: This is a Dade County program and not statewide. Although Orlando has a diversion program as well for DUIs.
That is all. Dismissed. And remember: there's gold in them there misdemeanors, just not as much as there used to be in DUIs.
Rumpole says: We never understood how you could steal a car and get diversion for a felony first offense, but not get diversion for a misdemeanor.
21 comments:
Rumpy, I was just excused from jury duty and was told by the judge that practicing lawyers are exempt from service. I think he was wrong. What say you?
sounds like fools gold now..
The DUI lawyers will gets killed in the pocketbook but, this is a good deal for the people.
Last time this was up, the cops killed it and soley for financial reasons. They have kids in expensive schools too.
Unless the law has changed, he is wrong. I have served.
Former ASA here.
About time.
DUI is an "everyperson's crime" and is committed by students, doctors, lawyers, teachers and the like that have real jobs and real life consequences.
Good job, SAO.
Maybe Broward will do it next. Yeah right.
Calling the Shumie for the day (4:14 on a Monday- I believe I'm within my rights) and for the DUI lawyers. As long as they don't make PTI available for drug trafficking and money laundering I'll be ok. For you traffic guys- CYA- wouldn't want to Bya.
Vasilly: Firecracker Pidgeon Peacock.
Rumpole- If I may old friend. All praise to your Pickle Factory which did a wonderful job last week. And now as that our interests do not conflict with your interests it is nice we are allies no? All on the same side of the fight, right?
Please pass on my prasie to your boys in Langely and thank you for the use of your blog for our limited purposes.
PICKLE FACTORY? FROM TIME MAGAZINE:
No one knows whether CIA spooks wind up in heaven or hell when they die, but wherever they are, they must be rattling their bones in protest. Barely a decade ago, almost no high officials in Washington talked directly about the Central Intelligence Agency. It was obliquely referred to as "the pickle factory" or "our friends" or "across the river" or, more openly, "the agency" or "the company." When the CIA's $46 million headquarters opened along George Washington Memorial Parkway in suburban Langley, Va., in 1961, the deceptive highway sign said only BPR, for Bureau of Public Roads. Even Soviet KGB agents laughed at that
The loud door slam you all just heard in the REGJB is Mr. Justice Milton Hirsch running off the bench and into chambers and firing up his computer to get his application in for Gersten's seat.
ROFL. Made my day. And I heard the door slam. All of this conversation, including the russian spies, is so much better than that stupid skinny angry girl from yesterday.
Goodbye DG- you were one of the good guys. I remember when you were a trial judge at the criminal courthouse.
Go eat another doughnut missy and then pretend it doesn't count because you've had a hard monday.
I'll be at the gym from 6 to 9 tonight working off my egg whites for breakfast and tuna (no mayo) salad nicose for lunch. Five carrot sticks and four almonds for an afternoon snack. Protein shake for dinner.
What will you be doing tonight chunky?
donner and blitzen.....now that is funny
To thin and angry girl:
We've tried to counsel you as best we could from the goodness of our hearts. Besides obsessing about others' weight, I'll bet you have a few addictive behaviors.
OCD, obsessive-compulsive disorder, which is what you have is a treatable condition with medication and it's noncaloric.
Run, do not walk, to your nearest psychiatrist for a prescription.
We'll never know what other people's lives are like until we walk in their shoes. Most/some heavy people were sexually molested as children. They use the body to defend themselves.
Live and let live.
THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:
GERSTEN LEAVING ....
That is not a rumour - it is confirmed.
oh spare me the tortured childhood defense and save it for the jury in the penalty phase. Most chunkers are chunky for one simple reason and its not that they overreat. Its that they GIVE THEMSELVES AN EXCUSE TO OVEREAT. See they know its wrong and they know it's harmful to their heath so they develop this endless list of excuses and reasons. As to mental health, I know this: I am physically healthy, I hold a very good job. I am productive. In short- ( and you sound short to me) I am rich, thin, good looking and have a job you'd die for. I'm sure the psych has more troubling cases to attend to.
new DUI procedure you indicate sounds fantastic, I hope they really do it
To Thin and angry:
I can't imagine you have any friends at all being as intolerant of human failings or do you buy your friends with your high paying job?
The only one you don't seem to hate is yourself. You seem to like to dig at people and find their most vulnerable spots to unnerve them and thus doubt themselves. To me that indicates you are super competitive.
And you have an expensive car because it brings you comfort?
Spare me the denial of status conscious and social climber mentality.
I wouldn't have you as a friend if they paid me.
7:55-- Reasons why Thin and Angry digs at people to find their most vulnerable spots to unnerve them and thus doubt themselves.
Refer to the comment on the post "WACK A MOLE" left by @Monday, May 09, 2011 12:35:00PM They nailed it--
"those who put others down are trying to make themselves feel better."
It is obvious Thin and Angry hates herself and needs to feel good and does so by knocking people down for no reason.
Dear thin girl:
"Go eat another doughnut missy"
I will! And it will be chocolate frosted! And delicious!
"and then pretend it doesn't count because you've had a hard monday."
Who cares if it 'counts' ? I don't. It will be delicious. And if I had a hard monday it was because I work my hardest to make sure my clients get the best representation.
"I'll be at the gym from 6 to 9 tonight working off my egg whites for breakfast and tuna (no mayo) salad nicose for lunch.Five carrot sticks and four almonds for an afternoon snack. Protein shake for dinner. "
3 hours at the gym? Sounds like fun to me. Ha! 3 hours to work off all that rabbit food? I actually enjoy my food. Full of egg yolks and mayo. And I chew my dinner, I don't drink it.
"What will you be doing tonight chunky?"
I'll be with my husband and friends, hanging out, laughing, having a good time. Maybe we'll have some fried food at the bar, before eating from the bread basket at dinner. After dinner, I'll have a chocolate lava cake. Then I'll go home with my loving, good looking husband, have sex, and then fall asleep having had a wonderful day.
Sure am glad I'm not thin and angry! Sure am glad I'm not you!
I know who skinny girl is and she isn't rich from working. She is a trust fund baby. Poor little rich girl.
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