maitre ‘d at Joes taking 20’s, what can a blogger do for inspiration?
Turn his weary sweat drenched eyes north, where that county north of the border and its characters never fail to inspire our insipid prose.
ITEM: The Sun Sentinel reported on a "key" moment in Dania Beach politics:
Dania Beach City Commissioner John Bertino, a 63 year old real estate broker will be charged this week with a misdemeanor for allegedly keying a 2-foot-long scratch into another man's car in a dispute over a parking spot. Apparently on June 11 Fox and his family pulled into Grampa's Bakery & Restaurant, in Dania Beach. Fox said he and the driver of a white vehicle both eyed the same parking space. When Fox pulled in first, he said the other driver began honking his horn. After Fox's wife and the man briefly bickered, the man found a different spot. After breakfast, Fox discovered a 2 foot long scratch on his front-passenger door.
While there is never a police officer around when you need one…Charlie Crist and his band of roving do-gooders to the rescue!!!
Assistant Attorney General Cindy Bruschi, who had been eating breakfast with her husband, met Fox in the parking lot and told him she saw a man use a key to scratch his car, the report stated. Fox and Bruschi identified the man as Bertino from a picture that appeared in an advertisement. Fox said the restaurant manager told them Bertino was a city commissioner.
"A person with this moral or ethical character, in my opinion, has no business being an elected official," said Fox.
Rumpole responds: Au contraire mon ami. Mr. Bertino exhibits all the necessary
characteristics of a City of Miami Commissioner, with the exception that Mr. Bertino is only being charged with a misdemeanor and not a felony. While Bertino has the right aspirations, he is not ready for the big time of Miami just yet.
As to Mr. Fox, we suggest he visit his "abuelo" in Dade and not his gramps in Broward. As a good and faithful Miami resident, Fox has no business eating in the wilds of Broward County. However, we are confident that if the situation were reversed and some poor unfortunate resident North of The Border found himself in a parking dispute with a politician of our fair city on the way to score some cuban toast and a cafe con leche, the matter would have been resolved the Miami way: Can you say “say hello to my little friend” ? We Miamians have the proper respect for cars and would rather fill a driver full of lead before we would ever stoop to scratching a car.
ITEM: Muslims not welcome in Pompano:
Again we are quoting from the Sun Sentinel (motto: we’re not the Herald and we’d like to keep it that way.)
In Pompano Beach (we said Pompano not pompous) Preachers from some of the northwest area's most influential churches plan to bring their flocks and sermons to City Hall tonight to demand that leaders keep a Muslim mosque from opening in their neighborhood.
"We want to make such a fuss that the Muslims will pack up," said the Reverend O’Neal Dozier, of the Worldwide Christian Center.
Rumpole pauses at this moment to thumb through his bible to see just what commandment or psalm says “The lord commands you to hate all other religions.”
Hmm…can’t find it.
“do unto others…” no that’s not it.
“Love thy neighbor…” nope, not that one.
We’re sure it must be somewhere. We’ll get back to you on that.
Anyway, this is not just any old Reverend who is off his religious rocker.
This Reverend happens to be a an appointee of Governor Holly Go Lightly Bush to the Judicial Nominating Commission, which as we all know is the body of open minded, conscientious, and highly intelligent folks who decide which lawyers they believe have the right stuff for the Governor to appoint to the bench.
In a news release late last month, Dozier called Islam "a cult'' and said the mosque's plans have residents in the predominantly "black Christian neighborhood" feeling less safe and secure."Their general welfare is being jeopardized by knowing that Muslims are invading their neighborhood," Dozier said.
Off course students of history will recognize that Dozier was paraphrasing some of the very most enlightened leaders of our nation including:
Abraham Lincoln: “A house divided between Muslims and Christians cannot stand.”
John Kennedy: “ask not what your country can do for you. Rather, ask what you can do to hurt your Muslim neighbors.”
Martin Luther King: “I have a dream…that one day this will be a totally Christian nation with all other religions and peoples outlawed.”
The Sun Sentinel article noted that:
Dozier, 57, is a key figure in Republican Charlie Crist's effort to reach black voters in the attorney general's race for governor.
In Broward County, Dozier has been a controversial figure on the judicial screening panel, asking judge candidates if they were "God-fearing."
Dozier said he was learning that he needed to "just do right and please God and not try to please man."
"I still love the governor,'' he said. "
I just hope they replace me with another black with a law degree."
Rumpole hopes that they replace Dozier with any man or woman who is without prejudice towards any religion, and who has a brain that works.
But before we get too excited, lets remember we're talking about North Of Border, where Muslims are as apparently as welcome as a Miami lawyer at a Judge Ross Calendar call.