Friday, July 07, 2006

PUMP UP THE JAM...PUMP IT UP

An alert Robed reader, taking a break from completing the Herald crossword, sent this in to us last week and we have been itching to post it: the only real tragedy is that this case calls out for a Miami Courtroom. Cy Gaer for the defense, and we can think of several Judges who would do a great job hearing this matter.

A Robed one wrote:


I guess this qualifies as North of the Border. Maybe this will inspire your judicial threesome dreaming poster.


Awkward moments abound in penis pump trial

By SHAUN SCHAFER, Associated Press Writer

Serving on the jury in an indecent-exposure trial unfolding in this conservative Oklahoma town has been a giggle-inducing experience.

Former Judge Donald D. Thompson, a veteran of 23 years on the bench, is on trial on charges he used a penis pump on himself in the courtroom while sitting in judgment of others.Over the past few days, the jurors have watched a defense attorney and a prosecutor pantomime masturbation.

A doctor has lectured on the lengths the defendant was willing to go to enhance his sexual performance.

The white-handled sexual device sits before the jury box for hours at a time. Occasionally an attorney picks it up and squeezes the handle, demonstrating the "sh-sh" sound of air rushing through the contraption's plastic tubing.

The jurors sometimes exchange awkward looks and break into nervous laughter when the testimony takes a lurid turn.

Thompson, 59, is charged with four counts of indecent exposure, each punishable by up to 10 years in prison. If convicted, he would also have to register as a sex offender, and his $7,489.91-a-month pension would be in jeopardy.

Thompson's former court reporter, Lisa Foster, wiped away tears as she described tracing an unfamiliar "sh-sh" in the courtroom to her boss.

She testified that between 2001 and 2003 she saw Thompson expose himself at least 15 times. "I was really shocked and I was kind of scared because it was so bizarre," said Foster.She testified that during a trial in 2002, she heard the pump during the emotional testimony of a murdered toddler's grandfather.

The grandfather "was getting real teary-eyed, and the judge was up there pumping on that pump," she said.
"It was sickening."

The allegations came to light after a police officer who was in Thompson's court heard pumping sounds and took photos of the device during a break in the proceedings.Thompson took the stand in his own defense, saying the device was a gag gift from a longtime friend with whom he had joked about erectile dysfunction. He said he kept the pump under the bench or in his office but didn't use it.

"In 20-20 hindsight, I should have thrown it away," he said.

The R-rated testimony has produced occasional outbursts of laughter and surreal scenes. A man who once served as a juror in Thompson's court testified that he never saw the device, but figured out what it was based on movies he had seen.
The comment sent sidelong glances through the courtroom.

"It sounded like a penis pump to me," Daniel Greenwood testified.
He said he had seen such devices in "Austin Powers" and "Dead Man on Campus."

Dr. S. Edward Dakil, a urologist called as an expert witness, repeatedly prompted laughter from the jury when discussion turned to the penis pump.
Dakil defended use of the device after defense attorney Clark Brewster said it was an out-of-date treatment for erectile dysfunction."I still use those," Dakil testified. Brewster paused. "Not you, personally?" he asked. "No," Dakil responded as jurors laughed. "I recommend those as a urologist."


Rumpole notes…nah..just leave well enough alone.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

http://www.cafepress.com/orj

I almost burst out in laughter and then almost threw up.

Anonymous said...

Dear Rumpole,
First big brother, do not censor this post. I have been an avid reader of the blog since day one. I am probably responsible for over 1,000 of the 66,766 posts. The blog has turned to garbage, and the delayed posting is the worst thing for it. There is no more free flow of thought, just a bunch of censored clusters that show up well after the fact. As for today, I want to say goodbye. I will no longer be reading your blog, and I ask every other reader who feels the same to join me in protest until you make it an open and flowing dialouge again. The blog is dead...long live the blog.

Anonymous said...

Judge Hernandez, stop being a gentleman and go after Robin Faber once and for all as well as "The One Who Cannot Be Mentioned" and Akerman Senterfitt for this abuse they are subjecting you to. They are making themselves into fools and making a mockery about the elections process. I am sure that more than 2 laws and rules have been violated by the campaign of Robin Faber, Akerman and that crazy defendant.

Here is one thing; at least Carol (Robin's Sugar mama) has deep pockets as those Akerman. Sue them after the election as well as the crazy one and set your pension higher. You know you are correct and have done nothing wrong, but you need to let them know that a war veteran will not be disrespected. Enough is enough.

That site is a violation of the cannons, donation law and Faber is a fool for allowing this to happen, letting it go this far and not acting against it. KFR, where are you? Why are you not doing something? FDLE? JQC? I mean, does the dog have to actually bite for this one?

Robin Faber will not win in 2006 and will never again run for Judge. Mark my words. Moreover, he will be much poorer and not based on election related expenses. Carol will leave him, but will pay most of the cost. Man, you are going to drive that Pontiac Bonneville for years to come.

This is my opinion and not matter what Bob Levy (Who is running campaigns and has a Felony arrest record), Brummer (Who should have been indicted), Leifman (Who talks about Mental Health, but has never bothered to establish a Division for it), Slom (Watches cable all day in his office) or anyone else has to say it is my opinion. If you don’t like it, tough. Don’t like the way we elected Judges, I never heard a complaint when you won all the seats in the past. If it is that bad, ask the Legislators to change them. I personally will look to introduce term limits for Judges as enough is enough. It is hypocritical for lawyers who never call their clients back to talk about ethics. Just like Brummer filing a complaint, we are still within the Statute of limitations for this joker. Prosecute him and Gabriel Martin, get ready to run again. It’s Time for a Change!

For entertainment purposes only unless otherwise stated.

Anonymous said...

as for post 8:56 above. any chance we can get him a nick name.

I like: "asskisser"
or maybe: simply "ass"

Anonymous said...

My my. No one should use Levy, if he really is a convicted felon. But I heard some of the candidates are using him. But not Parks or Cohn.

Anonymous said...

Switching subjects . . . Does anyone remember the two airline pilots who were found guilty of DUI last summer? What has happened to their appeals? According to the Third District's website, bail pending appeal was denied but motions to expedite the briefs and oral argument were granted (cases 3D05-1767 and 3D05-1816). Oral argument was held on December 12th. Since then, nothing at all. Why would the court expedite the briefs and argument and then to sit on its decision for more than seven months? Can anyone with appellate experience tell me if this is normal? It doesn't seem right. The copilot, if I remember the news stories correctly, got a 2 1/2 year sentence, which means he's already served forty percent of his time. Is the seven month delay the court's way of ensuring he gets punished even if he eventually gets a new trial?

Anonymous said...

I heard Slom watches TV all day too. He has been doing this for years. Judge Slom can you tell us your opinion as to what are the best TV shows we should watch during the day? Thanks in advance.

Anonymous said...

Who is Parks and why would any criminal defense atty write a post about her? Answer? They would'nt. She is writting all of these posts about herself. It's really scary to watch her have these dialogs with herself on the blog.

Anonymous said...

and by the way. gabriel martin, you have no chance to win the pd's office. your a republican and this is dade county. long live old man brummer. how bad can brummer be anyway. he lives in his car. tell them rumpole. you have the proof.

Anonymous said...

Juan at 8:56....Don't blame Faber for this nut case or your problems. You and Ivan brought him on yourselves and now try to blame the very system you manipulated to your advantage. Faber will win for the very reasons Glick alluded to: sometimes a good guy wins for the right reasons. Don't count your chickens just yet.

Anonymous said...

Dear Rumpole,

I am saying farewell to the blog after months of blogging because I hate the new system.

Goodbye.

Anonymous said...

Faber win? are your out of your mind? he's a blowhard if i've ever seen one.

Ralph Kramden said...

Re: The Pilots Appeal

I have read the briefs and I can attempt to explain the appellate court's delay only by guessing that a very contentious and likely 2-1 decision is coming down the road, and an angry dissent is probably being prepared (i.e., "how can we let these drunk pilots win their appeal; they were drunk!").

The convictions should be overturned given the trial court's rulings and the improper evidence presented but all bets are off when you deal with "high profile" appeals.

Anonymous said...

2:41:23 is right. If Faber was involved it would've come out. It hasn't because he is clean and running an impressive campaign. He who can't be named is your own fault and you both deserve it. Juan for being such a sh*t and Ivan for tolerating Juan and taking a blind eye to what he does and how he does it. Faber is smart and will be an asset on the bench. He'll get my support and from a lot of others too. And the judiciary gets rid of its cancer in the process.

Anonymous said...

As to the pilots appeal, thats a good sign for them and dont sweat it.

Oral argument would have been a big clue. How did that go?

Anonymous said...

Faber win? Over my dead body. The Phoenix will rise.

Anonymous said...

When you say cancer, do you say that the new judges on the bench are also a cancer since they replaced the old ones you liked? If the milk is bad, so is the cow. Get over it.

Anonymous said...

I'm voting for Faber too. Hernandez has had 6 years to prove he's got the the smarts and the ethics to merit another term. He's got neither. He's rude, not very bright and is liable to be sanctioned by the JQC. Cancer is a good word for his tenure.

Anonymous said...

That one pic with the dog wearing the Faber shirt in the catalogue is a riot. The dog reminds me of an unsuspecting electorate that might just vote for that joker. They said Faber wasn't fit to sleep with pigs. I contend that, no, give the man some credit, he is fit to sleep with pigs.

Sam I Am said...

The problem Hernandez has is that he's been upstaged by his own JA. Mention Hernandez and you'll soon be talking about his scum-bag JA.

Even so, Hernandez should sail through...if D'Arce can keep himself out of the papers. For a guy who craves attention, this will be tough. And if D'Arce is charged, all bets are off.

Anonymous said...

can all of you that are saying goodbye to the blog walk east on flagler until you reach the ocean, and then keep walking.

Anonymous said...

SAM I AM- SHUT UP JUDGE SLOM!

Sherlock Holmes said...

Folks, Faber has nothing to do with the ORJ cite. That cite is the brain(?) child of He Who Must Not Be Named (hereafter "HWMNBN"). Susan Nesmith covered this in her article. HWMNBN hates Faber's opponent (Judge Hernandez) because of some ruling on some small claims case which is on appeal to the 3rd (see video on ORJ cite). Apparently HWMNBN likes Leifman because Leifman's opponent is using D'Arse to run his campaign. I KNOW for a fact Steve has nothing to do with HWMNBN.

Anonymous said...

thats site not cite.

Anonymous said...

Wow Lonnie! Still a lot of sour grapes, huh???? Let it go man.

Anonymous said...

I like Robin Faber. He's doing us a service by running.

Anonymous said...

Robin is an instrument of revenge against Judge Hernandez just like Juan Gonzalez is an instrument of revenge against Judge Leifman.

Anonymous said...

Fabers not a revenge candidate, just a better one.

Anonymous said...

This is Catherine Parks. I would have loved to have tried this case!