GREATEST ZOOM MEETING EVER

Before we get to the topic at hand, we are mindful of tomorrow's super bowl. We have our massive computer model generating humidity, wind speed, left or right hand of the referee flipping the coin- the out come of this ref-'s last two years of coin flips; the weight of the coin, the variations in gravity in Tampa vis a vis other places on earth. We are close to a call on our deadlock, never wrong coin flip for the Super Bowl prediction. More on Sunday. For today we LOVE this prop bet- -135 that either team goes for it and succeeds on fourth down. To explain how money line bets work, the operative figure is 100. So for minus 135 a bettor has to bet 135 to win 100 that Tampa Bay goes for it on fourth down and makes it. Or makes the same bet on KC. There is a ton of vig in this bet- 35% (35 dollars above the 100 has to be risked to win 100) but we like it. For today put us on Tampa Brady's -135 to go for a fourth down and make it. 

HANFORD PARISH COUNCIL MEETING

Even in the time of Covid we can have best-ever lists. And the BEST EVER Zoom meeting occurred in our beloved England, specifically the tiny English hamlet of Handford Parish and the city council meeting this past December.  It has made an international star of Chief Executive Jackie Weaver who is not a member of the council but was brought in to support Hanford Parish because of an issue in the last meeting where apparently the cantankerous chairman, who starts off in the video attacking Ms. Weaver, was thrown out of the previous meeting (spoiler alert- he gets tossed again here as well).  In 80 unforgettable minutes there are toilet flushes, microphone failures, Trump-like grabs for power, zoom expulsions, shouting matches as only the polite English can do, whispers of secrets that are overheard and broadcast to the world. "When do we plan to start" asks a member? "F-off" comes a mumbled reply in the first twenty seconds of the video.

At 50 seconds the chairman talks about being thrown out of the prior meeting, in response to which one member mutters "quite rightly". Now things start heating up. A debate about the legality of Jackie Weaver being a clark or proper officer ensues. At 2:27 the chairman, his anger rising tells Jackie Weaver to listen and "stop being whatever you're trying to be and just clark the meeting." 

At about 3:05 in the Video one of the other members takes a call with her microphone open as the chairman is shouting at Jackie Weaver. There is a rancorous discussion about "clarking" the meeting, which in English terms means being the clerk. 

At 3:28 someone mutters "who is this woman?" referring to Ms. Weaver, then someone gasps. 

At 3:41 the chairman growls about the meeting not being being lawfully called. Ms. Weaver then threatens to remove the chairman, which prompts the chairman to respond that only the chairman can remove someone. Another woman chimes in "you can't!" and the chairman at 4:00 continues with "You have no authority here Jackie Weaver...no authority at all! This is what is called tempting fate, because a few seconds later he disappears and other members gasp "She just kicked him out!"  

 Weaver is attacked with accusations of a coup. At 4:20, in response to Jackie Weaver patiently telling the remaining council members to elect another chairman,  the vice-chair yells,  " No you can't the vice-chair is here, I take charge!"- bringing to mind former secretary of State General Al Haig's power grab at the White House during the confusing early minutes after President Reagan was shot. The vice chair then screams "read the standing orders! Read them and understand them!" which prompts member David Pincombe to moan "dear me" and Jackie Weaver to describe it as "appalling behavior." 

Enter Council member David Burkall who shouts that there is a chairman and Jackie Weaver, in her best British school-marm voice and attitude sighs "Councilor Burkhall, we have been all through this" which in turn prompts councilor Burkhall to retort "What are you talking about? You don't know what you are talking about" which in turn prompts Councilor John Smith at 5:05 to laugh in manner that should immediately get him offers to play the Joker in the next Batman movie. At 5:15, in an argument sure to appeal to most Miami Judges because of its logic,  Burkhall exclaims "The chairman of the council is the uh..chairman of the council!'

    At 5:25 another charming white haired British matron asks if the members can "Be respectful to Jackie Weaver please" which causes another Joker-type laugh from Smith and another cohort. There are condo board members in Hallandale that are shaking their heads at the confusion and rancor of this meeting.   The result of all this is that Jackie Weaver then kicks out council member Burkhall. 

At 7:15 as the meeting is underway, someone uses the loo, and there is a corresponding loud flush. 

At 7:35 Council member Ian Smith has an issue. He struggles to explain what happened to the chairman (Jackie gave him the boot) before resorting to the refined British phrase "Before the chairman departed from the meeting I noticed his label said 'Clark of Hanford Parish Council', could anyone clarify how that came about?" 

John Smith responded that he had no idea how that occurred and that the chairman was not the Clark, prompting Ian Smith to respond that he also had an email from the chairman declaring himself as the Clark. Jackie Weaver responds that there is nothing to stop the chairman from calling himself Clark, at which point the meeting dives into the bizarre as Jackie Weaver says "please refer to me as Britany Spears from now on" before asking if she should allow the disruptive members she placed in the waiting room to return? This is something the other council members are very much against and the banished members remained locked out as one council member trashes the household of another for laughing "like a hyena." Although one member of the public who was mistakenly banished was then let back in, or as he says "I was on the naughty step". 

It is all so very British which as longtime and careful readers know, appeals to our sensibilities. Rest assured we will now be watching every meeting of the Handford Parish Council meetings. Must see TV. 

TIME TO KILL THE CONTEMPORANEOUS OBJECTION RULE

 We are a legal blog, so sometimes we have to talk about legal stuff. Robed readers can take the day off and click here. 

 Commonly referred to as the contemporaneous objection rule, the rationale for its application is two-fold: 1) to require an objection at the time the error is committed to give the trial court the opportunity to correct it; and 2) to prevent a litigant from allowing an error to go unchallenged so it may be used as a tactical advantage later. 

F.B. v. State, 852 So.2d 226 (Fla.2003).

We are going to use a technical legal term here so bear with us. Bullshit. 

99.99% of un-objected to errors occur because the defense attorney is incompetent. They whine that they do not want to draw attention to the issue or have the jury become angry at them. So while prosecutors give closing arguments where they thunder that "a leopard doesn't change it's spots" or ridicule the defense attorneys as hired guns interested in protecting the guilty for a fee, defense lawyers sit quietly as a mouse and the error is not preserved. 

Rumpole's First Rule of Trials: OBJECT. AND OBJECT AGAIN. AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. Let us disabuse you of a notion. No defendant was ever convicted because a jury, during deliberations, all agreed that the defendant was not guilty but the defense attorney made such a pain of herself by objecting that they decided to find the defendant guilty. 

Here is the effect of not objecting to clearly improper arguments or inadmissible evidence, or sitting silently as your client's confession is introduced after litigating a motion to suppress for five days- the appellate court has to find fundamental error. 

Fundamental error has been defined that error that strikes at the heart of the verdict such that a guilty verdict cannot be obtained without the error. Let us define for you the real appellate standard for fundamental error: The Fundamental error standard cannot be reached unless the defense attorney wins Powerball AND Mega-millions in the same week...twice in the same month, but only when the month ends in R AND there are two full moons within the 30 days of the month (which is what a blue moon is). Only if all those things occur, can an appellate court find fundamental error. 

In other words, appellate courts enforce the contemporaneous objection rule to avoid the landslide of reversals if they decided the case on the error alone and not whether it was preserved. 

Is it really fair to uphold a 20, 20, 40 year or life sentence when the prosecutor engaged in misconduct, or the judge let in inadmissible evidence? Is it justice to affirm a conviction with horrific error only because of this ancient and outmoded belief that without the contemporaneous objection rule defense attorneys would sit quietly when they see error? As if judges listen to us when we complain. They don't. Our objections fall mostly on deaf and D---b ears. 

Look at the hundreds of Florida criminal cases affirmed where the appellate court writes that the error was substantial but not preserved and if only there had been an objection the defendant would have gotten a new trial. This is a pandemic that has been raging for decades with no end or vaccine in sight. 

Its been decades since appellate courts started enforcing the contemporaneous objection rule and yet idiot and untrained defense attorneys still  sit quietly while prosecutors call their clients "modern day Al Capones", etc. The reason for the rule has failed. It has not promoted defense attorneys to do their job and object. As they say in infomercials, There Must Be A Better Way!

You want to get defense attorneys to object? Suspend them for a month if the appellate court finds a substantial error was not objected to. Or fine them $1,000 per error that was not objected to.  That will bring our colleagues to their feet in a hurry. But to punish a defendant with a loss of their freedom for most of their life because they have a lawyer who was too stupid to object is to undermine the fundamental principles of a fair jury trial. It is resorting to the type of bureaucratic red-tape morass that bogged down Soviet Russia. It is technocratic adjudication with a loyalty to form over substance. It is the recognition that defendants who enter the system are on a conveyor belt of "justice" that ends with them in prison 99% of the time unless they fall off the conveyor belt by having a lawyer who objects at trial (or if they hire us). 

The contemporaneous objection rule is a shame. It is a disgrace and it is the dirty little secret of the American Legal System. 

But how do we really feel? 

HERE YE, HERE YE, ALL RISE FOR OUR NEW CHIEF JUDGE, NUSHIN SAYFIE

THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:

JUDGE NUSHIN SAYFIE ELECTED TODAY AS OUR NEXT CHIEF JUDGE .......

From the 11th Judicial Circuit’s Press Release:

The Eleventh Judicial Circuit is pleased to announce that the Honorable Nushin G. Sayfie, currently the Administrative Judge of the Circuit Criminal Division, has been elected Chief Judge of the Eleventh Judicial Circuit, the Miami-Dade Courts.

Chief Judge-Elect Sayfie succeeds the Honorable Bertila Soto, who has served as Chief Judge since April 2013 for four full terms. Her current term will expire on June 30, 2021. Chief Judge-Elect Sayfie will assume her new post on July 1, 2021.

Chief Judge-Elect Sayfie was first appointed to the Circuit Court by Gov. Charlie Crist in 2007. Prior to her appointment to the Bench, she served as an assistant public defender with the Miami-Dade Public Defender’s Office since July,1994, where she rose in rank to eventually train and supervise other lawyers in the Felony Division.

She began her judicial career in the Miami-Dade Courts’ Juvenile Dependency Division, then transferred to the Circuit Criminal Division in 2009 and was subsequently appointed Associate Administrative Judge in July 2011, and Administrative Judge in March 2013. She was reelected as a Circuit Court judge in 2010 and 2016 without opposition.

Congratulations to Judge Sayfie on a well deserved honor. 

CAPTAIN OUT .......

Captain4Justice@gmail.com

Q IS FOR LOSERS

 Despite being known for our sunny disposition and indefatigable spirit, we present to our loyal readers the latest edition of    "WE'RE DOOMED" (C) Justice Building Blog and Rumpole, 2021 all rights and wrongs reserved. 

The next time you're picking a jury with a venire of 50 members (stretch your imagination a little) know that 8 or 9 of them believe that "a group of Satan-worshiping elites who run a child sex ring are trying to control our politics." 17 of them "believe that voter fraud helped Joe Biden win the 2020 election." Source: NPR/Ipsos Poll.   The numbers are even higher if you include those perpetually scowling individuals who are so insecure they put their chairs a bit higher than everyone else and always wear black. (No post is good without a gratuitous shot at the judiciary). At least a 145 Republican Congressmen and women (and one complete lunatic) believe the Joe Biden-Democrats-stole-the-election- conspiracy theory. 

The scary part of conspiracy theorists is that they have lost all capacity for rational thought. One study found that "the more participants believed Bin Laden was dead before special forces killed him, the more they also believed he was still alive." Ditto with those who believed Princes Diana was murdered, and is also still alive. Elvis has left the building...in a coffin...but eating a peanut butter and banana sandwich. 

What should be no surprise is that study after study shows that losers are the ones who drawn to conspiracy theories. See American Conspiracy Theories, by Uscinski and Parent. That is why Trump, who lost the popular vote in 2016 was a conspiracy theorist from the beginning of his misbegotten presidency. People who are downtrodden, uneducated, and not introspective buy into conspiracy theories. Rather than look at their own short comings, they look for anything else to explain their losses and their lack of success. A recent Pew poll found 75% of Trump votes believed Trump won the recent election. Trump voters are losers, in more ways than one.  Losers need conspiracy theories to explain their losses when they cannot accept their own shortcomings. 

Fear also drives conspiracy theories. Take masks. Masks are the symbol of Covid-19.  Covid 19 cannot be seen with the naked eye. Fear is the root of most anger. For a certain percentage of people who are the most afraid of something that they cannot see or understand, the embodiment of that hidden monster- the Mask- becomes the focal point of their anger. Logically masks would keep the most fearful safe. But some people need a way to vent their fear. It is the same counter-intuitive reason why some people who are afraid of heights get an almost uncontrollable urge to jump from a ski lift. 

 So here is where we sit in 2021. 17% of the American Public believe certain high-level democrats engage in pedophilia and Satan worshipping. Most of the Republican party believes Ted Cruz's father was part of the plot to kill President Kennedy. Republicans elect members to Congress who assault children who were shot and want to kill Nancy Pelosi. They believe that Jewish Bankers control lasers from space and that Barack Obama was spirited from his birth place in Africa because on the night of his birth a star appeared foretelling his ascendency to the Presidency if only his US citizenship could be faked. John Lewis or Sam Rayburn or Tip O'Neil they are not. 

Rather than rally to a tough fight, Covid has caused our country-men  and women to lose their minds. We are doomed. 

We are doomed, especially when most of the criminal defense attorneys in Miami believe a certain blog is written by a cabal of ex-members of England's Queen Council trying to make Miami Vegan, communist, and fueled by solar power. 

OUR FOUNDING MEMBER OF THE WE ARE DOOMED SOCIETY:

Now excuse us while we call our Banker Schwartz to start a fire in Broward. "Aim the laser at the courthouse on 17th street...." 

IMPEACHMENT!

 Ah the "I" word. It is more than you think, as this edition of the right and Hon. Judge M. Hirsch's Constitutional Calendar teaches: 

Thomas Jefferson swept into presidential office determined to purge the federal judiciary of the Federalist judges appointed by his two predecessors.  His weapon would be impeachment.  He would start with the low-hanging fruit and, he hoped, work his way up to the greatest prize of all: his bitter antagonist and distant kinsman, Chief Justice John Marshall.  

The very lowest-hanging fruit was John Pickering of the U.S. District Court for the District of New Hampshire.  Pickering, once a leading member of the bar and the author of his state's constitution, had degenerated into dementia and alcoholism.  On February 4, 1803, the president transmitted certain "letters and affidavits" to the House of Representatives with his encouragement that impeachment proceedings be instituted.  They were.

Trial before the Senate began on March 4, 1804.  But the Senate was immediately presented with a problem of constitutional interpretation.  Impeachment required that Pickering, like anyone to be impeached, be guilty of high crimes and misdemeanors.  The evidence that at all times material Pickering was insane and incapable of forming the intent to commit any crime was irrefutable.  In an ordinary criminal proceeding, this would render conviction impossible.  But surely Pickering was not entitled to remain in office as a United States district judge because he was too demented to form criminal intent.

The senators reconciled themselves to the notion that the "misdemeanors" referred to in the demised constitutional provision did not, or did not necessarily, refer to criminal misdemeanors, but was simply a catch-all phrase for misbehavior inconsistent with the duties of office.  On that basis, Pickering was convicted.  

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AYN RAND

 "My philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, & reason as his only absolute."

Ayn Rand

February 2, 1905- March 2, 1982.

BREAKING FBI SHOOTOUT

 This is a breaking story. FBI agents serving a search warrant in a child pornography case Tuesday morning in Sunrise were shot. One agent is confirmed dead. Two are wounded. 

Ovalle and the Herald have the breaking story here. 

This is a tragedy and reminds us that although we are often adversaries in case, we depend on law enforcement to do their job in a professional manner and keep our communities safe. 

We can never hear about an FBI shootout in South Florida without thinking of this famous Miami shootout in 1986 in Pinecrest in which two FBI agents- Jerry Dove and Benjamin Grogan - were killed. One of Dove's bullets hit a suspect in the chest and just missed his heart. FBI agent Ed Mireles was a hero: returning fire with his 357 magnum, rushing the suspects' vehicle and killing both of them.  Miami- Dade Officer Martin Heckman, responding to the scene, was also a hero, covering the body of FBI agent McNeil with his own body while firing at the suspects. McNeil, who survived, had been paralyzed by a gunshot wound. 

The 1986 Miami Shootout was notable because of the realization that while the FBI agents outnumbered the suspects 8-2, the suspects had automatic weapons while most of the agents carried six shot revolvers. The tragedy was instrumental in the FBI and Miami law enforcement changing to semi-automatic firearms as standard issue.  

BROWARD ASA LIST

 There are things you should not do. 

You don't tug on Superman's cape. 

You don't spit into the wind. 

You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger

And you don't take cases in Broward if you're smart and enjoy your mental health. 

In Dante Alighieri's Inferno, part of the Devine Comedy, the Eighth Rung of Hell is Malebolge, which translates to "evil ditches" which in our  case are what  those fortresses of Courthouses, new and old, are resting on  North of the Dade Border. 

But if you insist on self punishment, misery, walking into the place where everybody doesn't know your name and doesn't care to, then we have been sent this updated list of the ASA's who skulk the hallways looking for some Dade lawyer to offer ten years on a third degree felony where your client has no priors. 

"Enjoy" (cough cough):

State Divisions Jan 25 by HR on Scribd

THREE STEPS FORWARD

 And two steps back....That is the clearest view of humanity's battle against the Covid 19 virus. We will prevail, but as the virus mutates, the battle will be longer and harder than we have admitted to ourselves. 

The two new vaccines, with a third on the way shortly,  are not the end of battle. They are not the beginning of the end.  British Prime Minister Winston Spencer Churchill said in a speech in November 1942 when the British defeated the Germans and General Rommel at El Alamein, that the victory was "not the end. It is not the beginning of the end. It is perhaps the end of the beginning."  Churchill was preparing the British public for a long war. A war he had neither flagged nor failed in believing his small island nation would win. But Churchill knew there were many more difficult days ahead.  England was still standing alone; bloodied, battered, but unbowed. 

Covid 19 is mutating and the mutations are negating some of the advantages of the vaccines. That is the bad news. The good news is that the virus cannot mutate indefinitely. The act of mutations will, in and of itself, burn the virus out. The additional good news is that the vaccines will stop most infections. When a person is not infected by an older strain of the virus, the virus loses a chance to find a host and mutate. When that happens enough, the virus dies. But until then, our enemy survives. The troubling variant, E4A4K, which is emerging in South Africa and Brazil, appears to bind easier to human receptor cells AND eludes the antibodies produced by natural infection or vaccines. 

So we have a long, hard battle ahead of us. And that brings us to the legions of robed readers, wandering empty halls of courthouses, their footsteps echoing off of walls and ceilings that used to absorb the noises of loud objections, thundering cross examinations, quiet and meek pleas for mercy, and bored jurors looking to get out of service. We imagine them staring wistfully at empty jury boxes and quietly humming "When will I see you again?" 

The answer is "not very soon your honor." 

We cannot and should not be opening the state courthouses in March when the CDC is predicting that the new and more virulent virus strains will be the dominant strains in the United States. We should not be opening the federal courthouse for jury trials in April. We need patience. We need  50%, 60%* and beyond of Floridians to have been vaccinated. We need  the R rate way below 1 and we need to see that the number of new infections state wide is less than a hundred a day. Only then, when the virus is on the ropes can we attack and win- the way new Commander Bernard Law Montgomery deceived (Operation Bertram)*  and out manoeuvred General Rommel until the time was right to press the attack (Operation Lightfoot). *

WWI ended at 11am on 11/11. At 10:59 am, US Solider Henry Gunther-bayonet fixed-  attacked a German machine gun emplacement and became the last American solider to die in the war.* No one wants to be the Henry Gunther of Covid when a vaccine and cure is right around the corner. 

* It is generally accepted that a herd immunity of +75% is needed to kill a virus and stop a pandemic. With Covid mutations diminishing the effectiveness of current vaccines, it is postulated that we will need a herd immunity of 85% to end Covid. So lets roll up our sleeves and get jabbed. 

* All warfare is based on deception. Sun Zu, the Art of War. In the weeks leading up to the final battle, the British scattered fake camps, fake tanks, fake ammo dumps with camouflage throughout the dessert in front of the German lines so as to confuse their enemy where they were and where the attack would occur. 

* When General Montgomery ordered the attack, the 24th Australian Brigade shelled the 15th Panzer division for a few minutes. Then, in a brilliant coordinated artillery attack, 1000 guns launched an attacked across a 40 mile front. Then Montgomery sent in four infantry divisions. The soldiers would not trip the anti-tank mines because they were not heavy enough. Artillery supported the infantry as engineers cleared the minefields and the infantry called in the coordinates. Then Montgomery sent a three pronged-pincer  attacked, with the 7th Armoured division and the Free French Brigade attacking the German lines from the South, while on the right flank the 44th 131st Infantry Division and 131st Infantry Brigade pressed the attack. The Germans fought hard and were disciplined. The mine fields were deeper than expected and took more time to clear.  

There is so much more to the second battle of El Almein and perhaps this fall, 78 years after the famous battle, we will write more about it. 

* Gunther's story is fascinating. A few months earlier, after he sent a dispiriting letter home criticizing the war, he was  demoted from sergeant to private as the letter was read by censors and his feelings were reported to his superiors. The demotion crushed him, and he spent the remaining months of the war trying to prove his loyalty. On the morning of November 11, the Germans knew of the pending armistice. It is unknown if Gunther's unit was aware the war was about to end. There are conflicting reports about what the Allies knew. When Gunther charged,  the Germans yelled at waved at him to go back. They fired shots over his head. Undeterred, Gunther continued his charge with his bayonet fixed, eventually forcing the Germans to open up with their machine gun and kill Gunther. 

JOHNSON AND JOHNSON NEWS

 "We are all worms. However, I do believe I am a glow-worm".  Winston Spencer Churchill. on humanity's  morality and his. 

JNJ reported on their vaccine today. Overall 72% effective in reducing mortality and severe Covid infections in the US,  66% in Latin America, and 57% in Afirca. The efficacy rate  is below the magic 95% number of Pfizer and Moderna.  The real number is in the details, so pay attention.  Pfizer and Moderna did not test overseas and did not test during the spread of the new Covid variants.  We do not have much data on how effective their vaccines are in the current and rapidly changing enviroment. 

The OVERALL effective rate for the JnJ jab  in preventing infection is 85%, well above the CDC guidelines for approval of any vaccine. The number is also 85% worldwide in preventing severe disease that requires hospitalization. 

What to make of this? It is good news. It is a one shot vaccine in which one billion doses can be distributed and injected in 2021. One billion doses. It does not need to be chilled below normal refrigeration.  It is a game changer. The vaccine appears to INCREASE immunity over time due to the operation of certain cellular biology that you dear reader, do not need to be bored with. 

JnJ will be filing an EUA (emergency use authorization) with the FDA next week. The phase three results on a two-dose regimen, which may well approach or exceed 95% will be released within the next two week. 

What we know about the Pfizer and Moderna vaccines from Israel where 40% of the population has been vaccinated is that the first round of numbers show a protection rate approaching 99%. For example in one population study of over 200,000 people, less than 20 contracted Covid. The point is that as the JnJ vaccine is released and data from hundreds of thousands of people is analyzed, the efficacy rate will rise, if for no other reason that as more and more of the population is vaccinated or recovers from an infection the R transmission rate will continue to fall below that all important 1 number, meaning for every person infected, less than one person gets the disease from that new infection. This is how pandemics burn out. 

Rumpole says, if you are offered the JnJ vaccine, TAKE IT. Please. If we get the JnJ vaccine, we will be ready to try our backlog of cases the following week (wearing a mask). We will take 75% protection, and wearing a mask that is 95% effective, in a world where most of the people we come into contact with are either vaccinated, have immunity from a prior infection, or both. The news is good once we get a better roll-out. 

We have some thoughts about US Congress representatives who advocate shooting and killing other members of the House and who harass children who survived school shootings. That will come shortly after we finish our legal obligations for the day. 

AN REGJB LEGEND REVISITED

 We were perusing the older blog posts, and a favourite one, which we should update is the "what ever happened to?" blog post (click the link to see it- the comments are great). 

We will run a new one, so please email us or post who you want us to inquire about. However no legend will beat out this one, which is a top REGJB story retold by retired Judge Lenny Glick who saw it all. 

The Legend in question is one Mr. Frank Joyce "esq" a distinguished alumnus of the Miami Dade SAO, and former Chief Of County Court:  Judge Glick will take it from here:

Frank Joyce.?.?.?...........

1973, I am an in my second year at the State Attorneys Office assigned to the Magistrate Division,(Six County Court Judges, 2 ASA'S and 2 APD'S per Court doing the equivalent of adversary preliminary hearings...all day, every day of the work week). 

In comes a"newbie" assigned to me to be trained and then work in the division. Bar none the fastest learner, did a great job and was on his way up the ladder. After Magistrate Court he was promoted to Chief of County Court. Only trouble is they found out he was not a lawyer. Went to one semester of law school and that was it.
He was outed by a disgruntled Fish and Wildlife officer who went to the Fla. Bar and wanted to file a complaint. The Bar said Frank who????. The rest is history. Believe it or not he was never prosecuted for Unauthorized Practice of Law.
Whereabouts unknown
TRY THE SURGICAL UNIT AT J.M.H.
......Paging Dr. Joyce......

Rumpole says there is actually a M*A*S*H episode with a similar story line about a surgeon assigned to the unit who was top-notch except that he was not a doctor.  REGJB truth is stranger than fiction. 

JUST WHAT WE NEED

 Longtime and careful readers of this blog know our abhorrence for minimum mandatory prison sentences. Let us explain in detail why. 

The State of Florida, unlike the feds, vests the entire power in seeking and imposing  a minimum mandatory sentence in the prosecutor. This means that when faced with a decision about what is an appropriate sentence for a defendant who has pled guilty or been found guilty after a jury trial (which we have been told occurs, but we do not have much experience with this outcome) the legislature, in all their collective wisdom, has decided that the 25 year old prosecutor has more experience, wisdom, judgment, and fairness to decide the fate of the defendant and not the learned judge. 

Minimum mandatory prison sentences are, in the final analysis, a slap in the face of the judiciary (which is not something we are usually opposed to, but politics makes strange bedfellows). 

Which brings us to this new(ish) minimum mandatory, which is (sarcasm coming) well needed. Thank goodness the legislature decided to send these criminals to jail for ten days. In the middle of a pandemic, this is just what we need. 

DRIVING WHILE LICENSED SUSPENDED 322.34 FSS (Florida's Stupid Statutes): 

2. A person convicted of a third or subsequent conviction, except as provided in paragraph (c), must serve a minimum of 10 days in jail.

Because we know that there is no racial bias in the enforcement of misdemeanors in general and driving while license suspended statutes in particular. 

From the American Constitutional Society Paper on the discriminatory enforcement of driver's license statutes: 

More than seven million Americans have lost their driver’s licenses for nonpayment of a ticket or fine.[2] For many lower-income community members in 21st century America, a driver’s license is critical for everyday life tasks like getting to work, childcare or a child’s school, doctor’s appointments (especially vital for senior citizens), and transporting heavy groceries. Most people who are not able to afford to pay their fines, therefore, just keep driving.[3] When a person driving with a suspended license is stopped by law enforcement, they typically get a ticket, may be subjected to more fines, and may even be arrested and end up in prison. Their inability to pay that original fine—their poverty—is, in effect, criminalized.

National awareness of governments’ use of fines and fees to extract revenue from low-income, predominantly African-American residents has risen substantially since the protests and violent conflict that followed the 2014 killing of Michael Brown by the Ferguson, Missouri Police Department. Here was an object lesson in state and local governmental power to perpetuate and criminalize poverty. After the U.S. Department of Justice Civil Rights Division investigated police and court practices in Ferguson, it released a report describing how citizens get trapped in a double helix of poverty and punishment. Initial fines and fees quickly and automatically trigger more monetary penalties, a suspended driver’s license (with more penalties imposed for driving on a suspended license), mandatory court appearances (with more penalties levied for missing those hearings), and, almost inevitably, criminal penalties. The City of Ferguson’s “focus on revenue rather than . . . public safety needs,” the report found, led to “procedures that raise due process concerns and inflict unnecessary harm,” including the suspension of driver’s licenses for unpaid debts, followed oftentimes by an arrest for driving without a license

COMING SOON: Florida's New Lifetime Mandatory Sentence for medical marijuana- "getting sick is the least of your problems." 

WHEN WILL I SEE YOU AGAIN?

 Item: The music from the 1970's is the best. Period. We will not entertain any additional motions for rehearing or reconsideration. 

We were listening to Sirius/XM's 70s on 7, as is out wont on Sunday, when we heard the familiar first notes from The Three Degrees "When Will I See You Again?" hit,  and we began to wonder which of our favourite judges in the REGJB are humming that same tune? 

When should trials begin again? (As Judges Soto and Sayfie reach for their shot glasses, as they have had their fill of us on this point,  we press on). 

Initially, March seemed like a good target date. But then the feds screwed up the vaccine distribution. Actually that's not true. The feds had NO plan for vaccine distribution until we got POTUS46 and now they are admirably scrambling to come up with something. They are even scrapping the bottom of the proverbial barrel with the FDA's approval of the use of a special syringe to wring a sixth shot out of the vial of five doses (for which Pfizer, which negotiated a per dose charge with the feds, immediately sought to renegotiate their payments for six doses per vial, not five. What are civil lawyers for if not to get an additional 20% for their client out of a deal?). 

Then the virus mutations became troubling. The virus is now more contagious. Just ask anyone in California. The new and more contagious British strain  may also, as per British PM Johnson, be more than 30% more deadly. President Biden has warned and intoned that our darkest virus days are before us. 

This is no time to say "enough" and ask trial lawyers to emerge from their den of virus hibernation and stand up on their hind legs and wobble into court Ursine-like. 

It is always  darkest before the dawn, and we humbly suggest to our chief judges, state and federal alike, that it is wise to wait just a wee bit more. Let the lawyers and judges and clerks and officers and court reporters and jurors get their two vaccines. We still need to socially distance (best thing about covid-19 is that we can now claim social distancing and never be in close proximity to a black robe again) and wear masks, but once we are jabbed, let's pick six.  That next "not guilty" may well be the sweetest, but aren't they all wonderful? Does not a rose by any other name smell as sweet my dear Montague? 

Until we are all safely jabbed, renew your Netflix (the new HBO Max is great!) , stay home a bit more,  and send us the bill, and enjoy the song. 

(We  will do a little talk up for ya..... That was "Car Wash" coming at ya on WIOD the wonderful isle of dreams. It's a beautiful day in Miami, the Magic City, and at 11:07 in the morning, it's not only 77 degrees going to a high of 80, but it's The Three Degrees and When Will I See You Again? [guaranteed we would have hit the post] ).  

NFL CHAMPIONSHIP SUNDAY

 It's a new year. A new administration. We have new vaccines. The Virus has new strains. It is all new and mostly good. 

So why is Tom Brady back for his attempt to appear in his 53rd straight super bowl? And his opponent is Green Bay QB Aaron Rodgers who career is hampered by only one super bowl appearance and win? 

In the AFC we have new QB phenom Patrick Mahomes and newer QB phenom Josh Allen. 

The Pack and the Chiefs are each favoured by three at home. Here are our picks. 

If any team can pull off an upset it is the Tampa Bay Bradys and not because of their QB. Tampa's offensive line is vastly superior to Green Bay's Defensive line. Championships are won in the trenches. Our pick is the Pack -3, but the upset of the day could be Tampa Bradys. 

The AFC game is easier. You ain't beating Mahomes at home. Period. End of sentence. Give the three. Go on margin with your stocks. Sell some Ethereum and Bit Coin. Raise capital and then call your version of 52nd Street Irwin (who if we did not mention it, sadly our long time friend and bookie and famous Vegas line setter has moved on to the big sports room in the sky over the summer due to, yes Covid) and put it all on the Chiefs. 

Some Prop bets-

IF Green Bay -3, Then KC -3. Lets say you bet 110 on the Pack to win 100.  If the Pack wins, then you roll that 100 on to KC to win 200. If the Pack loses, you lose 110. 

We also like a $500 two team Parlay Pack and KC. Parlays pay 13 to 5. So you win 1,300 if you bet 500 which is 300 more than if you just bet 500 on Green Bay and 500 on KC. 

With the weather in Green Bay we like the under 51.5. So how about a Green Bay -3 parlay with under 51.5 for $500?  And lets do a KC -3 parlay with under 51/5 Green Bay/Bradys for 500.  

And finally how about some Teasers? We know, from quantitative analysis over decades that teasers, which allow you to move lines on totals and point spreads are losing bets. A couple of rules from the quant analysis- never tease a total; never tease a college football game; never tease below zero and always try to tease below 7 and 3 points. 

Let's do a six point two team teaser that requires us to risk 120 to win 100. This of course violates the rule of teasing below zero because in this case both KC and Green Bay are favourited by three points. A six point teaser would GIVE Green Bay 3 and KC 3. What the heck, you only live once. Let's bet 1200 to win a G, teasing six points Green Bay +3 KC +3. 

Have fun.  

 

 

LARRY KING HAS PASSED AWAY

 Before we get to the death of the iconic talk show host who has deep Miami roots, we want to address the latest Potus 45 scandal in the waning days of the Fuhrer's rule. 

At the end of 2020,  quisling lawyer Jeffrey Clark, head of the DOJ's civil division, attempted to engineer a coup that involved deposing the acting Attorney General, replacing the AG with himself, and then using the power of the DOJ to order Georgia to throw-out the presidential election results. Clark proposed such maneuvers in meetings with the President at the end of the year. It was only a promise from the Acting AG that he and the entire top echelon of DOJ employees would resign in protest that dissuaded the Fuhrer from endorsing the planned assault on the integrity of the Justice Department and our Democracy. 

On Monday, February 27, 1933, four weeks after Hitler was elected Chancellor of Germany, there was a fire at the Reichstag- the German Parliament in Berlin.   The fire was blamed on Martin van der Lubbe, a Dutch Communist. The next day the Reichstag Fire Decree was passed, alleging that Germany was under attack by communists. The decree was instrumental in bringing the Nazi Party to power. The background to the fire was that although elected Chancellor, Hitler's Nazi party did not have a majority in parliament. He was agitating for the passage of the Enabling Act that would bypass the Weimar Republic's Constitution and allow the Chancellor to pass laws by decree. Although Chancellor, Hitler  had to contend with German President (and war hero) Paul Von Hindenburg who had significant power in the Government. 

After the fire, (set by Hitler cronies), Hindenburg signed the Reichstag Fire Decree which suspended many of the liberties guaranteed by the Weimar Constitution, including the right of habeas corpus, the right to a free press, the right to free speech and assembly, and the privacy of phone and mail communications. Such freedoms were never restored until after the end of WWII twelve years later. 

While the invalidation of the Georgia presidential elections would have not denied President Biden an electoral victory, it was the first step- like the Reichstag fire- on the way to declaring martial law, invalidating all of the election results, and passage of a modern day American Reichstag Fire Decree. As the events of the months after the presidential election are revealed, just how close we came to losing our democratic government are coming to light. And we are guessing there are even more plans and planners to be revealed in the coming days.  

LARRY KING HAS DIED

In 1957 23 year old Larry King arrived in Miami and got a job sweeping the floors at Miami Radio station WAHR. Two weeks later a host quit and King got his first job (after the station owner told him to change his last name from Zeiger (too German) to King). In 1958 King moved to WKAT, and then in 1960 to WIOD where he became the number one rated talk show host in South Florida, color commentator for the Miami Dolphins, and hosted a four hour evening show at the iconic Miami Beach Restaurant Pumpernicks, where the waitresses were world renown for being rude, the food was solid Jewish-deli, and King interviewed regular patrons intermixed with Jackie Gleeson, Frank Sinatra, and other 60's celebrities. A personal roller coaster ride ensued, with King being the top paid radio host, losing his money to a gambling addiction, getting arrested for not repaying a debt and bouncing checks, banished  to doing promotions for a small Louisiana race track, a return to Miami and WIOD, a national nighttime radio show, and finally becoming the  host on CNN's 9pm prime time show where he interviewed the top newsmakers of the day, celebrities, and took calls ("Canastota New York, you're on the air!"). 

In 1992 cranky Texan Ross Perot announced on Larry King live he would run for president if people would write his name in, A political revolt was born that ended with Perot taking enough votes away from George Herbert Walker Bush to get William Jefferson Clinton elected President. 

King had a folksy style, even with the biggest celebrities of the day. He asked Violin virtuoso Jascha Heifetz "Jascha, why the violin?" A: "My mother made me."

King asked President Nixon in 1992, during an interview in Washington DC, if returning to Washington and driving by the Watergate complex upset him. Nixon replied that he was not bothered, and that he had never been to the Watergate complex. King, stunned replied: "You've never been inside Watergate?" setting up Nixon's deadpan response: "No, but unfortunately others have been." 

Miami had two of the legendary radio talk show hosts of all time- Larry King and the great Neil Rogers. International success and fame all started for Larry King when he was hired to sweep floors in a now defunct Miami radio station. His radio show at Pumpernick's on Collins Avenue in Miami Beach was his big break. And Miami had a hand in it all. 

Larry King calls Neil Rogers

BANNED AND SHUNNED

 "Let his name be spoken nevermore." 

The 45th President of the United States tested the edges of our Democracy. The leader of a cult personality, he rallied a segment of our country with lies pandering to their racists beliefs fostered by their disaffection of their failed lives -precisely because they are uneducated racists.

He bent Democracy, but he did not break it. Democracy survived and will emerge stronger. 

He has been banned by Twitter, the sword of his attacks and lies. 

And now we commit to never speaking or writing his name again. The worst punishment that can be meted out to this narcissistic sociopath is to be made irrelevant, ignored and forgotten. He shall be forever known as the former failed President, or POTUS 45. Nothing more. 

Speaking of which, POTUS 45 did indeed leave a note for President Biden. AND WE HAVE IT.

Dear Joe: 

Woops! My bad. How about a pardon and getting me back on Twitter? Think about continuing the wall. Mexico will pay. Ignore Covid. It will magically go away. I'm gonna do the Apprentice again. Think about promoting it. I need some cash. Try and release that stuff on Kennedy. The CIA never let me. Fascinating stuff there- no one has ever seen anything like it people are telling me.  That's all I have. Drop the mic and walk away. 

POTUS45

BIDEN ADMINISTRATION WHAT IS IN WHAT IS OUT

UPDATE: We are live tweeting the inauguration of the 46th President of the United States @justicebuilding

First, some trivia. Inauguration day starts a string of palindromic dates that will end with 1-29-21.  However, the next January 20 inauguration day that will be palindromic will be in one thousand years 1-20-3021. Unfortunately most of you will not be around to read our post on that day. And prediction wise, we make this prognostication- the election and inauguration  of the semi-human, semi-robot- Ivanka Clinton-Bush. And the slogan? Make the United States of Apple-Tesla Great Again. MUSATGA! 

IN Science, Dr. Fauci, Masks, Global Warming. Paris Climate Accords. 

OUT: Fossil fuels, fake news. America First idiocy on global warming. 

IN : CNN AND MSNBC.

OUT: Fox news. 

IN: The Oval Office.

OUT: Being fired via Twitter. 

IN: THE DOJ, An independent AG, The Cole Memo, Cannabis. 

OUT: Indicting defendants for the highest possible crimes. 

IN: Criminal Justice Reform.

OUT: Pardons. 

IN: NATO, Germany,  England, France,  China,  Mexico,  Muslim Countries, Immigration,  Dreamers.

OUT: The Wall.

IN: Rescue Cats and Dogs.

OUT: Diet Coke in the Oval Office.

IN: Pelotons.

OUT: Sloth, Golf.

IN: LGBT (Dr. Rachel Levine is the first transgender person to hold a senate confirmed office- Assistant Health Secretary).

OUT: Old white men (except that the President is the oldest white male to hold the office).

IN: Professional Diplomacy.

OUT: Lunacy.

IN:  Trains (although the Secret Service put the kibosh on Biden taking Amtrak to DC). 

OUT: Complaints about not being treated fairly. 

IN: Daily White House Press Conferences.

OUT: Nasty White House staff who think their poop doesn't smell. 

IN: Economic Stimulus and Higher Taxes and Republicans suddenly discovering the deficit again.

OUT: Tax reform for the rich.

IN: America. 

OUT: This 1,461 day nightmare. Call it the end of an Error. 

TRIVIA: President Biden shares a name with an (in)famous Miami Judge. Name the name and the Judge. 

POP QUIZ:

Which did NOT occur in the last 1,461 days?

A) The President tried to buy Greenland using Puerto Rico as payment;

B) The President canceled a trip to Denmark when it refused to sell Greenland to the US;

C) The President suggested ingesting bleach to combat Covid19;

D) The President led a Boy Scout Jamboree in a chant of "Lock her up" aimed at Hillary Clinton;

E) The President used a sharpie to alter a map after incorrectly stating that a hurricane was about to hit Alabama;

F) The President wondered why nuclear weapons could not be used to break-up hurricanes;

G) The President sent real troops to the Texas-Mexican border to defend against an imagined invasion of a caravan of illegal immigrants set to invade the US to disrupt the 2018 mid-term elections;

H) Mexico did not pay for a border wall;

I)  The President called white-supremacists in Charlottesville, North Carolina, "decent people". 

J) The President won the states of Georgia, Pennsylvania, Arizona, and Nevada? 

K)  All of the above occurred. It has been a looooooong four years. 

REMAIN CALM

Wednesday is the inauguration of Joseph Biden. It will not be Donald Trump. Thus, there are rumblings of civil unrest. It is mostly untrue despite an unexplained stoppage of ATT cell phone service last week for an hour or so. But although there is nothing to worry about on Wednesday- repeat- nothing to worry about, the Judges have received a gentle suggestion to end their work for the day Wednesday morning. 

Are you kidding us? There are no trials. So without this encouragement to -Gerry Klein like- (a rapidly becoming obscure REGJB reference) to knock off by noon- criminal court judges would be labouring doing the people's business until 5 pm. Really? What are they otherwise doing in the afternoon in the REGJB? Counting those lighted squares behind  the bench in the older, larger courtrooms? 

Here is the email from the Chief Judge of the REGJB (and soon to be chief of more? Perhaps, but that is a post for another day), and again, there is nothing to worry about. 

Good afternoon, All.  I hope that this email finds you all healthy & well.

As you know, Wednesday, January 20^th is inauguration day.  Notwithstanding concerns about violent protests around the country, there are currently no concerns related to Miami or the REG.  We are in regular contact with MDPD and DHS and they will alert us if they anticipate any issues.

To the extent possible, please try and have your calendars completed in the AM.  Just to be safe it would be ideal to have all court calendars completed as soon as the PM bond hearings are done.  Again – there is currently not even the hint of a threat for us, but better to be safe.  

Please contact me if you have any questions or concerns. 

Remain calm. All is well. 

PODEN US

 PODS have been explained. They caused us confusion a few posts ago when we posted the zoom numbers for Judges. Judges also have Pods. We could not understand why. Then  a long time reader filled us in. It is really poddenly simple, poden the pun. 

Pods are for in custody defendants. Apparently the jails only have so many zoom outlets and therefore to close out a case with an in-custody defendant a Judge needs to use a Pod. 

Pod explained. They could have called it "in custody zoom hearings" but the self explanatory nature of the nomenclature (say that five times fast) is too simple for use. 

At 45 seconds: "They're like huge sea pods" 

Invasion of the Body Snatchers. 1956. 

IN PRAISE OF TRUMP'S PARDONS

 The media is up in arms. Liberals are seething (the last days pardons of Bill Clinton a distant memory). "Pay for play" is all the rage in being criticized. The ability of rich and wealthy people who can buy influence is being decried. So be it. 

But as a reader of this humble blog, you know you expect us to look deeper. And so we shall. 

As a young lad of a lawyer in the 1970s it was not uncommon to see a woman in a courtroom. Her eyes blackened. Perhaps her jaw or nose broken. The case would be called. The defense attorney would inform the judge the victim was married to the defendant, and the case would be dismissed. Then the pendulum swung the other way. Federal funding for domestic violence caused prosecutors to form specialized units. Judges were trained. And as the pendulum swung we now have situations where it is easier to post bond for a client stopped with a kilo of cocaine than it is for a defendant charged with throwing a marshmallow in anger at their domestic partner. 

The same is true for white collar crime. In the past, as people of color were locked up for violent street crimes, white collar crimes were pooh-poohed. No one was hurt. The defendant was not a danger to others. Probation was sufficient. Then the odious sentencing guidelines took hold. The amount of loss drove a prison sentence. And loss was defined as either actual or intended. Medical fraud cases where the defendant billed ten million dollars and received ten thousand dollars were treated as a loss of ten million. Now we see white collar crime sentences where the guidelines are more severe then a terrorist act or sexual assault. Fifty year old business owners are the new recipients of the "lock em up and throw away the key" philosophy.  Appeals are routinely denied in circuits (other than the Ninth) where the term "reversed and remanded for discharge" is as archaic as the term "your obt' svt". 

So defendants and families are desperate. A court system that is uncaring and rigged against a defendant. A gulag of prisons swallowing up white collars fraud cases and spitting out broken old men. Enter President Trump. The DOJs Office of Pardons and Commutations is broken. There is a 15,000 plus back log. Prosecutors are making recommendations about whether defendants should have their sentence commuted or pardoned.  President Trump did not care about convention or prior practice. He was available to right a wrong. 

Right here in the SDFLA, about 18 months ago  a man who was the father of five children, whose wife was dying of cancer, and was slammed with a twenty year trial tax was sentenced to 20 years for an analogue marijuana drug case. His sentence was rightfully commuted after two. 

Is the ability to buy influence for a personal issue odious and wrong? Sure it is. But it happens every day with every administration. That is not the story here. The story is about a broken court system that imposes trial taxes, that is uncaring and driven by a broken and outdated sentencing guidelines system. 

Item: The sophisticated means enhancement of two points was created at a time when computers and cell phones were still novelties in our society.  The enhancement is routinely applied in almost every case (so we hear- we don't proceed to sentencings often for reasons you fully understand). One judge recently commented that imposing a sophisticated means enhancement these days was like fining someone for speeding, and then doubling the fine for speeding while using a car. 

The story here is not desperate and wealthy people trying to get a pardon or commutation. The deeper story is why? The answer is that because the system is broken. It sends people to prison because that is what it knows how to do. That their money and take their liberty and tell them "don't do it again" when you get out in wheelchair -if you get out at all. 

If Joe Biden wants to do things different than Trump then he should start by doing what Trump started- criminal justice reform. The First Step Act was a good first step. But more is needed. The Guidelines need to be fixed. Just like the crack/power dispute created disparate sentences during the war on drugs, the "intended loss" language of 2B1.1 of the sentencing guidelines needs to be repaired because it is broken and it is allowing prosecutors to seek multiple decade sentences where there was no loss. 

How about the fact that there is no expungement of a federal conviction? People with federal marijuana convictions from the 1970s still cannot get good jobs or loans. A federal conviction is like a nasty case of herpes- or that "1-800-cars for kids" song- it never goes away. A pardon is the only way a person get out from under a mistake made 20, 30, 40 years ago. The system, for many reasons, is broken. 

So while we are no fan of the current President,  we hope he empties the federal prisons. Pardon hundreds of people serving long minimum mandatory sentences who were drug mules like Alice Johnson  who he pardoned at the beginning of his term. Pardon all white collar fraud cases with sentences over ten years where there was no real loss and no victim suffered (so not Madoff). Pardon or commute em all we say. 

 Make the criminal justice system great again. MTCJSGA just doesn't roll off the tongue.