HELP WANTED

The (fake) news media is reporting that the President cannot get legal help. No lawyer will take his case.
Really?
We have a bunch of lawyers here in South Florida who send mailers and pay bondsmen for cases. 
Hey guys and gals, the mailing address is 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Wash, DC. 
Send an ad. You never know. 

Who do you think in the REGJB should take the case and do a good job?

Meanwhile we have a few suggestions:

Or this....

But really when you think about it, there is really only one lawyer for POTUS:

A STATE SPEEDY TRIAL DEMAND

YAWN....😯
Count us as being supremely bored by the 60 Minutes interview of Stormy Daniels. She slept with Trump before he was. president. He paid her to keep quiet. And the sun rises in the east. What else is new? 

We actually were surprised by some of the "facts" we heard on Fox news Sunday morning whilst stuck in a NetJets airport waiting room, including that the Obama administration didn't want to ban bump-stocks and that Obama didn't want to raise the pay of members of the military.
That was surprising news.  If you can call what Fox broadcasts "news". 


STATE SPEEDY TRIAL DEMANDS???!!!!
Just when you think you've seen it all, some yahoo legislators have proposed Proposition 96 which, inter alia, will allow the prosecution to file a speedy trial demand. And this differs from the prosecution objecting to a defense continuance how? 

(10) The right to proceedings free from unreasonable delay,  and to a prompt and final conclusion of the case and any related  postjudgment proceedings. 
a. The state attorney may file a good faith demand for a  speedy trial and the trial court shall hold a calendar call,  with notice, within fifteen days of the filing demand, to schedule a trial to commence at a date at least five days but no  more than sixty days after the date of the calendar call unless the trial judge enters an order with specific findings of fact  justifying a trial date more than sixty days after the calendar  call.

Prop 96 by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

SDFLA NEW LAYOUT

UPDATED 
The famous and wildly successful lawyer(s) that run the Southern District of Florida Blog which can be found here have changed the look and the layout. 

Count us as one vote against the new format. 
We don't like it at all. 
What say you? 
(Apparently we were taken to a mobile version of the blog. So never mind). 

But while you're over there, check out the post on the money for the new federal courthouse in Ft. Lauderdale being included in the new federal budget. 
We're against that as well. 
A real trial lawyer can try a case in an asbestos laden building where the roof leaks. 

Our own humble REGJB has been adjudicatin criminal cases since cira 1960 and we are doing just fine. You haven't earned your bones at the REGJB until you and your trial briefcase are thrown for a loop when an escalator suddenly stops and a crush of humanity falls on you. 

From occupied America, where no self-respecting local government should take money appropriated by those sell-out morons in D.C., fight the power and try your case with an umbrella. 

MOTIONS GRANTED

UPDATE: SEE BELOW

We present to you today the collected wisdom and rulings of former REGJB Judge, and rapidly becoming a legal legend- Judge Hanzman. 

In the first order, Hanzman vacated a fifty-year sentence on a PVH for a new arrest of a defendant in a car in which a gun was found under the passenger's seat. Represented by a well-respected attorney who was forced into a PVH by Judge Rebull when he was not ready to proceed, Judge Hanzman found that the lawyer's performance was "an outlier" to his long and distinguished career. DNA evidence not introduced excluded the defendant as a contributor to the DNA on the weapon. 

In the second order, Hanzman vacated a conviction after trial in which there was only one eyewitness and the defense failed to impeach that eyewitness on the grounds that the eyewitness at the time of the trial, the eyewitness was in custody and facing a life sentence on an armed robbery charge. Woops! Giglio anyone? 

The Third Order deals with the question of whether the State can collect DNA, not at the booking/arrest stage, and without probable cause for the case the defendant was charged in- for the limited purpose of comparing that DNA sample to other crimes. Adopting the "timing is everything" analysis, Judge Hanzman denied the prosecution's motion. 

Not every client is innocent. Not every motion should be granted. But when we live and practice law in a time when Judge's fear their own shadow, much less negative media associated with a ruling for a defendant, it is nice to see a Judge who calls it like he sees it. It seems like an easy thing to do, but it is not. 

Come back to the REGJB Judge Hanzman.

UPDATE: The comments correctly pointed out that there was some fine lawyering here as well, including Daniel Tibbitt who has won several impressive 3.850 motions for his client this year. Well done. Well done indeed. 

FIRST ORDER

Andrews Rule 3 Order by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

SECOND ORDER

Brooks Rule 3 Order by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

THIRD ORDER -"TIMING IS EVERYTHING"

Final Order Munoz, Julius - DNA by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

YEAR IN REVIEW

It's never too late to look back at the last year. And especially for our intrepid prosecutors and their office, more than two months into 2018, they have published their 2017 year in review. "Better late than never" they often say about discovery and their Year-In-Review. It's perhaps the most anticipated document in the South Florida Legal Community, other than, of course, the yearly traffic citation stats, and the pedestrian flow analysis for the south end of Brickell Avenue.

So here it is, and pay particular attention to the crowing about the prosecution of former North Miami Beach Mayor Myron Rosner (husband of Judge Sarah Zabel) in the FRAUD section. 

The entire document cannot help but engender in our mind the wise words of the greatest man of the 20th Century- Winston Spencer Churchill: "In War, Resolution. In defeat, defiance. In Victory, Magnanimity. " Magnanimity doesn't appear in their dictionary. 

The Russians, so often in the news these days, have word for this type of document:  агитпроп,  which means Agitpróp. 

sao year in review by Anonymous PbHV4H on Scribd

PROGRESSION

Here's an interesting NY Times OP Ed piece on the need for progressive fines. 
A single $151.00 speeding fine sent an African-American into a seven year odyssey of fines, collections, loss of license, arrest warrants and homelessness. Should she be fined the same as Mark Zuckerberg for a speeding offense? 

The Times piece misses the point. The issue should not be the enactment of progressive fines because rarely will the issue be the appropriateness of a fine to a billionaire and a homeless woman. The issue should be the tax misdemeanors and traffic tickets extract on lower income Americans. A brief sojourn into county court a few weeks ago yielded an (unscientific) view that most litigants are those who can least afford to be there, and who can least afford the devastating impact of a misdemeanor conviction. 

Progressive fines are a slippery slope. But the criminalization of quality of life issues (traffic crimes, panhandling, marijuana possession) should be the discussion we are having. Decriminalizing a majority of the misdemeanor crimes in Florida would allow the cases to be handled in a cost efficient manner by magistrates without the expense of prosecutors and public defenders. Do we really need everyone charged with disorderly conduct or possession of marijuana to lawyer-up? 
We could then reduce many felonies that are given short shrift, to misdemeanors. Wouldn't it be more costs effective to  have car theft, burglary of conveyances, third degree grand theft,  possession of cocaine, and resisting with violence cases off the dockets of circuit court judges?

HAPPINESS

The 2018 World Happiness report lists Norway, Denmark, Iceland, Switzerland, The Netherlands, Canada (with its fake trade deficit), New Zealand, Sweden and Australia (home to Miami's most famous fugitive Joe Gerstein) as the happiest countries- one through nine. The US of A limped in at number 18, down from 14 in 2017. 

Burundi, the Central African Republic, and Cleveland were the unhappiest countries in the world. 😞
(emoji courtesy of Millennial Me).

REJB Happenings: 
There were more trials today in the REGJB. Many pleas of guilty. Lots of cases filed, a few no actioned and some nolle prosses. 
Everyone who isn't a lawyer went though a rigorous security screening to enter the building, but in a fascinating story, Judges were able to park in the garage in the building and avoid security! 
The clerks offices reported many requests to view files. 
We know this is absolutely fascinating stuff for many of you, so we will hold  your interest and leave the rest of the action for tomorrow's blog post, which may, just may, include an exposition on the attorney's parking lot!!!!! YES!

From sad and unhappy occupied America, Fight The Power!

HAPPENINGS IN THE REGJB

If you read the comments section, then you know some people want the blog to be about the courthouse. Because they don't want to read about Trump.  Wah wah wahhh. 

Ok. This is for you. Some judges picked some juries this week. Some defendants were acquitted. Some were convicted. There was a mistrial this week in an armed robbery trial because of A Golden Rule violation by the State. How shocking is that? (-yawn-). 

Long time ASA David Gilbert is probably picking his last jury and trying his last case as an ASA. A brutal multiple murder and shooting. Stop by Judge Venzer's courtroom and watch Gilbert and Frank Ledee. Bruce Fleisher, inter alia, for the defense. 

Coming next week, as a special blog service, we will post the lunch specials at the El Chapo Café. Yum. 

An escalator was out. Coming soon our exclusive interview with Elmer, the Otis escalator repair man. Elmer will give our readers his top six tips for getting on and off the escalator. 

And not just that, but out secret expose': You Don't Want to Know What's In Those Hot Dogs From The Carts.

There's going to be some retirement parties for clerks and corrections officers. Promises to be a good time for all. 

Isn't this fun and fascinating? 

Parking is a problem at the REGJB. Let's start a petition! We can all sign it and demand change. Yes. That's the ticket for an exciting post. A petition! 

Oh, our State Attorney doesn't like the 2nd DCA. Like they ever did anything to her. Here's part of an email from her. 

In late 2016, Florida's 2nd District Court of Appeals overturned a conviction for a juvenile convicted of written threats to kill or do bodily harm. The juvenile offender made multiple posts on social media threatening to "shoot up" his school.

 

One of the posts included a photo of a firearm. The appellate court reversed the offender's conviction and found that the threats did not violate Florida law. The court stated that it could not "add words not included by the legislature" and that the current statutory language was "very limited."

 

I am delighted to report that our Governor signed Senate Bill 7026, a Public Safety Bill 105 pages long, which amongst many other items intended to improve public safety includes the necessary language to amend Florida Statute 836.10 to include threats of mass shootings or acts of terrorism.  Anyone found responsible for issuing such a threat commits a felony of the second degree, punishable as provided in s.775.082, s.775.083, or s.775.084.  Law enforcement now has one of the necessary tools to ensure that no child feels unsafe at school because of online threats.

                                                           Sincerely,

WE HARDLY KNEW YA

(the following is based on national-fake news sources. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent.)

The last days of Rex Tillerson....

Thursday March 8, 2018.
Rex Tillerson arrives in Ethiopia. He is surprised to learn that his boss has agreed to meet to North Korean dictator and killer of American tourists and students  Kim JongUn. 
Tillerson responds by stating that "We're a long way from negotiations." 
This announcement surprises and angers  the President who at that precise moment is negotiating for the delivery of McDonald Hamburgers and Kentucky Fried Chicken to North Korea for the meeting. 
Presidential Spokesperson Sarah Huckabee-Sanders calls the food "freedom meals." 

Friday March 9, 2018. 
The next day Secretary of State Rex Tillerson is awoken from sleep around 2:30 AM by Chief of Staff John Kelly who tells Tillerson to expect a "tweet" after the weekend.  Trump is in his PJ's watching the Best of Dean Martin Roasts on cable TV. 
Presidential Spokesperson Sarah Huckabee-Sanders announces that the White House has bought more space on iCloud to list the latest resignations from the White House. 

Friday March 10, 2018. 
The President is scheduled to receive his daily briefing at 11:00 a.m, but instead plays Tiger Woods Golf on Xbox. The President then tweets that "Tiger got a bum deal. The women lied. Fakes news!" 
The Secretary of State asks for a briefing on the economic situation in Africa but is told that Jared Kushner has revoked his security clearance. Instead, he is given an iPad and googles "Africa" and "problems?" 

Saturday March 11, 2018. 
Secretary Of State Tillerson clears his schedule. He isn't feeling well. 
Trump goes to Pittsburgh where he campaigns for a Republican for Congress. He calls the White House switchboard looking for his wife, but all the switchboard operators have resigned, and is forced to leave a voicemail after listening to this message: "You've reached the best white house switchboard. A switchboard that no one has ever seen one as good. If you are a cabinet member seeking to resign press one; if you represent a porn star and want to have your client give an interview, press two; if you are the attorney general of the United States, you suck and your time is coming pal."

Sunday March 12, 2018.
CIA Director Mike Pompeo goes on Meet the Press and is asked by Chuck Todd about Tillerson's involvement in the upcoming Korean negotiations. Pompeo suppresses a giggle and responds "Who?" before saying, "Oh, yeah, well, we will see about that."
Tillerson receives a secure message from Ivanka Trump asking for four bottles of Kahlua. 
Presidential Spokesperson Sarah Huckabee-Sanders calls the news that a new counter in Times Square - similar to the deficit counter-that will count the total of White House resignations- "fake counter news". 

Monday March 13, 2018. 
Rex Tillerson decides to return to the United States early to "prepare for the North Korean negotiations." His trip is delayed when during a lay-over in London, he is bumped to stand-by on an American Airlines flight. 
Prime Minister Theresa May announces that Russia is behind the poisoning of a former Russian spy and his daughter who are both living in London. Tillerson immediately issues a statement supporting the English Prime Minister and denouncing Russia. Trump Tweets calling May "Fake News" and "An Obama Plant" and has his phone ripped from his grip by Chief Of Staff Kelly before he can tweet anything else. 
The Secret Service forcibly ejects Trump aide and Body-Man Randy "Macho Man" Savage from the White House for unspecified "Crimes Against Humanity" and finds the book "The Ten Best Speeches of Vladimir Putin" in his office along with a taped language course in Russian and a bottle of Vodka. 
Presidential Spokesperson Sarah Huckabee "Stormy"-Sanders tells the press that the removal had been "planned for months." She then hands out the daily list of White House resignations. 

Tuesday March 14, 2018. 
Tillerson gets a seat on a Virgin Atlantic flight to Dulles. 
Trump, in the Oval Office, points out the window and yells "Look, it's Obama!' and then grabs his phone from Kelly and runs into the bathroom and locks the door and Tweets "Rex You're Fired!'.
Tillerson lands at Dulles. 
The White House issues a statement that Tillerson was fired in November, but "we kinda forgot about ol'Rex."
Tillerson's State Department spokesman Steve Goldstein gives a press conference in which he states that Tillerson was fired by tweet when he landed at Dulles. 
The White House immediately fires Goldstein.
Trump Tweets that "Prime Minister May has lost her mind- she's no Margaret Thatcher."; Trump appoints a Boise, Idaho City Councilman Herb Meyers as Assistant Attorney General for Fake News and orders him to fire Special Counsel Robert Muller. Herb resigns, stating that "I've been honored to serve the president and the people of this country for the last forty-two minutes. I just wish I could have seen the White House before I quit."
Sarah-Huckabee Sanders denies all events of the week, stating "fake news fake news fake news" before announcing "the planned departure of the White House grounds crew, the White House kitchen staff, the White House valets, the White House barber, and the White House gardening crew." After the press briefing she is asked to leave the press room by John Kelly who has revoked her security clearance.
The President ends the day watching Sean Hannity, who calls Rex Tillerson  a "Hillary Clinton  lovin fool" and eating four portions of dippin dots for dessert.

ASTROTURF AND TARTARS

Check out DOM's blog which has a link to John Grisham's NY Times Op Ed piece on wrongful convictions. 
Get that? Rumpole to Markus to Grisham. Sort of like Tinker to Evers  to Chance. Don't know what that is? Ask Judge Milt Hirsch at the start of his calendar tomorrow. 

The Fourth DCA has a new courthouse. There will be a tour on Monday March 26, 2018 given by the Dade County Bar Association. Click here. We have it on special, inside authority, those who sign up for the tour will be given limited access to see the new, special PACA robot, who can write "Per Curiam Affirmed" over eight thousand times an hour. 

Item: Putin blames Russian hacking US elections on "Ukrainians, Tatars, or Jews." 

We can understand Ukrainians or Jews hacking the election. But Tatars? Really? Tatars!  Now he's gone too darn far. 

Meanwhile, remember when George blamed Astroturf on the Jews? 

From Occupied America, please join our Anti-Tartar Defamation Campaign and Fight the Power!

DIARY OF A MAD PRESIDENT STORMY EDITION

Dear Diary.
Best president ever. 
No one's ever seen a president like this one. 
Big tax reform. Biggest ever. No one could do tax reform like this. 
Big steel tariffs. Biggest ever. No one has ever seen tariffs like this. 
Best tariffs ever. They say it couldn't be done. The experts said it shouldn't be done. That it would ruin the economy. But what do they know? Have they run hotels into bankruptcy? No. Have they run a successful Trump-Wine, Trump-Steak, Trump-Water, and Trump-College business? No. 
So I know tariffs. Terrific, beautiful, wall-building tariffs. 

Memo to self: tariffs on Mexicans? Tariffs on Muslims? Tariffs on Hillary? Tariffs on CNN and the failing NY Times?  Could be done. Would be beautiful. Amazing.

Very fun week. Fired Hope. Fired Gary. Fired that Mexican Gardner who grew flowers for Obama. He was hiding for a while in the sheds, but I had the NSA fly a satellite overhead and we nailed him like we nailed Bin-Laden. Obama takes credit for that. But we did that. Not Obama. Trump. Fake News says Obama killed Bin Laden. But Fox news knows it was me. Bullet to his head while he tried to shoot me. Anyway, found this Pedro gardener and I had the 82nd airborne do a drop and I came running out screaming "Pedro you're fired!" It was a thing of beauty. No one's ever seen anything like it.   

Big Big News. There were some stormy times with North Korea. Oooops. Not Stormy. Can't use the Stormy word. That's a big fake media thing. Anyway, we had some tough times with Rocket Man. Then he asked to talk to me. ME! Not Hillary. Not Obama. Not Richard Nixon or Jared or General Patton. But me. And I said yes. Then no. Then yes. Then maybe. No one knows but me. ME! I know. 
So I'm going to meet the head of North Korea. Mao Zedong. Lil Ol'Rocket Man. Sushi-eatin North Korean Jap. Should have nuked him when Patton Nuked Japan. I'm going to have Elton John sing his rocket man song when we meet. On TV. Fox. A special. Trump meets Rocket Man Mao. Will get terrific ratings. Gonna need a host. One of those Fox babes in the short skirts. Not Stormy. But another one. 

Big rally in Pennsylvania on Saturday. I won Pennsylvania. Won it all. No one's ever seen a win in Pennsylvania like the one I won. Biggest line was death penalty for drug dealers. Lots of applause. So I've been thinking...
Death Penalty for Murderers. Death Penalty for ANY crime committed by a Muslim or a Mexican. First that, then expand to all Arabs and all South Americans not just Mexican South Americans. Death Penalty for Speeding. Speeding kills. Death penalty for vandalizing a Trump Golf Course. And of course Death Penalty for Media. No one loves the First Amendment more than me. But enough is enough. So all news=death. Also Death Penalty for Hillary. No more lock-her-up. Now it's zap-her! Plus her husband. A president who cheated on his wife....scratch that. Bill's fine. Just Hillary. 

Death Penalty for having an affair. No one loves marriage and woman more then me. If a man has an affair. Death penalty. 
And Pedro that White House gardener. Let's grab him and kill him and then deport him. And Jeff Sessions. And The Secretary of State, whaz his name? Kill em too. And Bannon. And Vermont. Vermont Didn't Vote for me. Death penalty to everyone who didn't vote for Trump. 

It's been a great week diary. Full of love and life and success. And the Death Penalty. A beautiful wall tariff death penalty. Best President thing ever. 
DJT. 

THE CRISIS

THESE are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value.
Thomas Paine, The Crisis, December 23, 1776.

And these are the times that try our soles (of our feet)

Yes, that is the escalator on six in the REGJB, in its normal non-operative state. 

SAM KONELL TO FED PRISON FOR FIVE YEARS 

We missed this article by ace Herald scribe Ovalle on the sentencing of REGJB irregular Sam Konell to five years in federal prison by US District Judge Jose Martinez late last month for patient brokering. 

It was a nice touch for Judge White-Labora to be a stand-up gal and write a letter on his behalf. But as the article makes clear, Konell had free run of the jail and was pulling down over a 100K a year for six years brokering patients for Medicare treatments they didn't need. Martinez was sympathetic to Konell's lifetime of good deed, but the SDFLA is the epi-center of medical fraud and we, the taxpayers foot the bill for shenanigans of this sort. 

It's always sad to see a good man turn bad. These are indeed the times that try men's souls. 

From Occupied America, where everyone but us wants to work at the White House, Fight the Power!

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

In 1965 the young English mathematician Roger Penrose devoted himself to the study of black holes, and, in 1965, he proved an important theorem which showed that a gravitational collapse of a large dying star must result in a singularity, where space-time does not exist,  and classical general relativity breaks down. 
A few years later, Penrose collaborated with his Cambridge friend and colleague, Stephen Hawking and they proved that singularities are a ho-hum feature of general relativity and that black holes are not rare events. 

In 1974 Hawking Ali-liked "shocked the world" by showing that something- now called "Hawking radiation" emits from black holes. In other words, all is not lost. Black holes are not completely black, and because they emit energy, the rules of thermodynamics hold they will not last forever. They will expend their energy and disappear.

Hawking radiation is good news for the denizens of the REGJB, specifically those who deign to enter the black hole known as the clerk's office on the 9th floor. 

Cosmology was on our mind when this missive recently crossed our email from the FACDL-Listserv 

Has anyone else reached their wits end with Harvey Ruvin?
If I have to wait in another 30+ minute 9th floor line just to get a document that should be downloadable on line...
When is enough going to be enough?

So cosmologically speaking, if black holes aren't entirely black, and they do not last forever, then an attorney entering our own REGJB black hole has some hope that her entire day is not lost waiting for help:

Clerk: May I help you?

Atty: Sure, I'd like to view a file. 

Clerk: Sure! Write the case number on the paper and I'll be right back.

Atty (panicking) Nooooo....please wait....

Clerk leaves....

Time stands still... (it is relative and inside our 9th floor black hole space-time has ceased to exist as Penrose/Hawking confirmed circa 1970.)

Clerk returns (remember, the black hole is not entirely black)

Clerk: Hi! May I help you? 

Atty: Ummm...I said I wanted a case file....

Clerk: Hang on, I'll be right back...

Atty: Noooooooooooo.........

Rinse. Repeat. 

A few hours later.....

Clerk (returning from post lunch, pre-coffee, snack break)

Here's what I have learned...the file was in court yesterday, which means it's on 8 1/2.

Atty: 8 1/2??

Clerk (rolling eyes) You've read the Harry Potter books right? The train station...platform 9 3/4, duh! Same thing, except we have floor 8 1/2. 

Atty: So I need to be a wizard to see the file?

Clerk: I don't need your attitude madam. Just walk outside, go to the elevator and run as fast as you can to the buttons on the wall. You'll see. 

From Occupied America, where clerk's office tariffs might not be a bad idea, fight the power! (but be nice to the over-worked, under paid clerks or you'll never get your file). 

CHARLES EMERSON WINCHESTER III

Rest in peace David Odgen Stiers.

Our favourite quote: "I do one thing at at time. I do it very well. And then I move on."
Charles Emerson Winchester III. 

Quick Poll: [  ] Maj. Frank Burns vs. [  ] Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III. 
Better on MASH?  Answer in the comments section. 

Some of our favourite clips:






MASH/Winchester Trivia (no Googling):

1) When Dr. Winchester first arrives, he performs surgery on a surgeon who had a difficult issue - an operation Hawkeye had never performed. What was the operation? Bonus: name of the surgeon. 

2) What was the Winchester family Christmas tradition? 

3) Colonel Potter is the last surviving member of his WWI outfit. He and his friends composed something- Winchester knew what it was. What was it? 

4) What does Winchester leave in a time capsule? 

5) What instrument does Winchester play in the Swamp that makes his tent-mates go crazy, and what do they do in response? 

6) In the last show, what vehicle does Winchester leave the 4077 in?

7) What is Winchester's sister's name? Spelling counts. 


BONUS: Name and rank of the person in Seoul, Korea who is angry at Winchester when Potter first calls for a replacement surgeon for Burns. And why is he angry? 

Rumpole, devoted M*A*S*H fan. 

FACDL WINNERS

The envelope please....
This is what we wait for all year.
The anticipation...the thrill of victory...the agony of defeat.

The FACDL annual award winners are...

The Daniel Pearson-Harry Prebish Founders Award:
Jane Moskowitz and the late Gregg Toung.

The Rodney Thaxton "Against All Odds Award"
Michelle Estlund for her work in a Graham/Miller resentencing issue.

Gregg Wenzel Young Lawyer's Award:
Abbie Waxman.

And our favourite award...
Known by it's eponymous name The Honorable Gerald Kogan Judicial Distinction Award (affectionately known as "The Kogie") to United States Judge Patricia Seitz.

The award banquet is May 12, 2018.
Tickets, which are sure to be a hot ducat, go on sale March 1, 2018.

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Where should the prosecution and the defense sit in a courtroom? 
Does it matter?

In a small courtroom on the third floor of the REGJB, it recently came to pass that the prosecution's table and podium was next to the jury box which holds the defendants that are in custody.  The courtroom is one of the smallest in the courthouse. If a realtor was showing it they would call it "charming", "comfy" and "a good starter". 
In reality, the third floor is where the judges with the least seniority are sent to adjudicate the miasma of the REGJB.
One day our intrepid CJ of the criminal courts division covered the calendar. Sensing a possible security issue, she had the prosecution and the PDs switch tables and podiums. No offense to the PDs, but most in-custody defendants would like to take a poke at a prosecutor. 
And then Judge Blumstein returned to court, and exercising judicial wisdom and discretion, finely honed after hours of sitting in his third floor bantam-sized fiefdom, said "switch back" because the judge controls the positioning of the lawyers. See, Commonwealth v. Boyd, 246 Pa. 529 (Pa. 1914) "While in every criminal trial, the accused has a common law right to counsel, and this right may not be abridged by any rule or regulation which would operate to hinder and obstruct free consultation between the accused and his counsel, the refusal of the trial judge, in a murder case to permit the defendant to sit by his counsel, so that the defendant was compelled to occupy a, small enclosed place, about six or eight feet away from the counsel table, was harmless error where no defense on the merits was made..."

Although traditionally, the litigants with the burden of proof sit next to the jury. 
See also, "Does the Placement of the accused undermine the presumption of innocence?"

But the SAO said NO! "We will not move to the back of the bus". Woops, wrong famous civil disobedience statement. The SAO actually said "No, we will not move to the other side of the courtroom." 

And there we sit. So to speak 
For now.....
From Occupied America, sit where you want and fight the power. The SAO did. Good for them!

MR BOOM BOOM

You can't make this up. 
The President of the United States wants to combat gun violence in schools by.....arming teachers. 

PS 110. East Village. NYC. 2021.
Ms. Postdam's Kindergarten class. 
First Day of School. o

Good morning class. I am Ms. Postdam. Please find your seats. Welcome boys and girls to the President Donald Trump Grade School in New York. As we all know, President Donald Trump was born and raised in New York. In fact, when you look out the window, you can see the President  Donald Trump Firearm and Ammunition store. It's right across the street and next to the President Donald Trump and Vice President Vladimir Putin's chain of  Russian-American Friendship Tea and Vodka Shoppes. 
Class, we have a few rules in Kindergarten. If you need to go poopy or peepee you need to raise you hand and ask  to go to Mr. Potty. 
If you are hungry, then raise your hand and ask for Mr. Snackee. 
And if a bad man comes to the school to kill all of you and your friends with his assault rifle, then you need to tell me right away to get Mr. Boom-Boom. 
Does everyone understand? 
Good!
Now today, we are going to start with finger painting. Then we are going to learn the "Lock Hillary Up and Throw her in Jail Song!"  But before we start singing,  we are going to learn the pledge of allegiance to President and Dear Leader Donald Trump. 
But first we need to learn a safety issue. It's called "duck and cover."
Let's pretend a bad man comes and has an automatic rifle, which of course is his god given right to own and possess. But lets pretend he is having  a bad day and instead of hunting doves with his AR-15 automatic rifle with dum-dum bullets, he decides to show up to school and kill everyone like happened right here in this school  eleven times last year. 
Who knows what to do? Sally?"

Sally: We duck and cover!

Ms. Postdam: That's right Sally. You duck under your desk and cover your head with your hands. Ask your grandparents. In the 1950's they had to learn how to duck and cover because before Vice President Vladimir Putin became Vice President of the United States while also being President of Russia, people in the United States were worried Russia would blow them all up with a thermo-nuclear weapon. And the best way for us to survive a nuclear weapon one hundred times more powerful than the one we dropped on Hiroshima, Japan, is to duck and cover. In fact, it's a known fact that if the Japanese had all learned to duck and cover, they would have won the war. Now we can use those same skills that protected your grandparents from 10,000 degree nuclear heat, to protect us from bullets fired from a high-powered semi-automatic weapon. 

Now, let's  all start our day by saying the pledge of allegiance, which of course is now the law:
"I pledge allegiance to our dear leader President Donald Trump and the United States of America and Russia. And to our dear leaders, who protect our lives, we pledge- unlike former FBI Directors,   everlasting loyalty to our dear leader President Donald Trump. So Help Us God."

Wonderful. Now we are going to learn the "Lock her up" song. 
"Who's responsible for everything bad?
Hillary-LOCK HER UP!
Who's responsible for fake news? 
Hillary-LOCK HER UP!
And who's the one who lied about global warming?
Hillary- LOCK HER UP!
And who's the one who opposed our dear leader and almost wrecked our lives?
Hillary, Hillary, Hillary....LOCK.....HER    UP!

Excellent class. Now if you will all take out your Russian books we will start with lesson one....

From Occupied America, there are people who dream of a place like this. Where teachers are armed, and children are brainwashed.  Fight The Power!

A CONSTITUTIONAL ORPHAN

A man and his guns. 

In Silvester v. Becerra, Justice Clarence Thomas wrote a fourteen page dissent from the court's decision not to grant cert and review California's ten day waiting period to buy a firearm.

"The right to keep and bear arms is apparently this court's constitutional orphan" Thomas fumed.

"We have not heard argument in a Second Amendment case for nearly eight years" the silent Justice whined. "And we have not clarified the standard for assessing Second Amendment claims for almost 10."

Rumpole wonders how many years has it been since the court heard a Third Amendment case (prohibition against the quartering of soldiers in homes) , or an eighteenth amendment case (prohibition against sale and manufacture of liquor)?  Should the length of time between the court hearing issues be in fact an issue raised on cert?

Say this for Justice Marcel Marceau, (judges, click here), the man has timing. Because what the world needs now, are guns, more guns...not just for some, but for everyone...

From Occupied and heavily armed America, Fight the Power without shooting. 


 

MM786 IN THE 212

Happy President's day from NYC!
Yes, your Millennial blogger from Miami took a Prez weekend trip. MM786 in the 212! 

Couple of random thoughts. We often write in legal pleadings that an issue or fact  was "unbeknownst" to a client. But I have yet to see someone write that something was "beknownst" to someone. Why? 

Also, Caregivers are caretakers. But one implies giving- "she gives care to her elderly mother. She's a caregiver." And yet, "He takes care of his father. He's a caretaker." Strange, right? 

Black Panther was the bomb. And the theater in Times SQ, NYC was dope. I felt like such a tourist, which I am. The movie is great. Yes, it's  groundbreaking because it's a super-hero action movie with almost entirely people of color. But that quickly fades, and it's just a good movie. I went with some friends/family who had teenagers and when I asked them the significance of the movie they didn't mention race. When I asked them the difference between the Black Panther and Superman or Batman or Spider-man they focused on the different superpowers. No one said "Black Panther is black". Take away? This new generation really doesn't think about or see race, and that's a good thing. 

I've complained about the lack of a great steakhouse in the 305/786 (and don't give me that Prime nonsense please). Well, NYC is steakhouse-lovers heaven. Sooooo many choices. 

First up, old school- Keen's Steakhouse. Been around since late 1800's. There's a pipe Teddy Roosevelt used on a beam on the dark wood ceiling. A dark paneled room with an old-boy clubhouse feel lined with portraits of be-wigged  long-forgotten men from NYC.  Appetizers are oysters or "Lincoln's Oysters", wedge salad with blue cheese (natch) and then the beef. There's a mutton chop (first time I've seen that), and old school cuts. Porterhouse for two, prime rib, or "New York Sirloin".  Sides are creamed spinach and hash browns. Get the picture? No wagyu beef here, no sir-ree. 

Next day Lunch- Ikinari Steak in the Village. The deal here is that it's a stand-up steak bar. You stand at the bar, order your steak priced by the gram, and then eat. Standing up. And drink, until you cannot stand up. It's fun. And the steak is off the charts good. The steak is wet-aged for 40 days. They recommend you order it rare. It's grilled over an open flame, and served in an iron skillet with sides like rice and veggies, and then to make it a "J-steak" you drizzle "J-sauce" over it. I had the wild-steak set, and sake. Lots of sake. Then they spray you with a clothing spray to clear the grilled steak odor as you stumble out the door. NYC-Japanese cool. 

For dinner your blogger scored a resv at the smokin-hot celeb chef Salt-Bae's new sensation- Nusr-Et Steakhouse. Yes, there's one in Miami, but this is New York baby.   This place is crazy expensive. And most people show up looking for the Salt-Bae show. He dresses in tight white t-shirts, guns bulging, and round sunglasses. He puts on a show with the knife, does a slap of the meat, and then throws salt on it in his signature move. You can see all that on you-tube. I came for the steak. It was decent, not great. And as I said, crazy-expensive. You don't get the Bae show unless you order a particular cut, like the rib-eye. When you do, the steak is presented sizzling. He shows up surrounded by a retinue of lackeys (assistants) and as everyone pulls out their cell phones, he slices the rib eye and throws some salt on it, and wordlessly moves on. At this point, having done it a few thousand times, it seems like a sad show. 
The ribeye was good. The steak at Keen's was better. I suggest skipping the show and saving a few hundred dollars. 

That's it for now from NYC, where the weather is cool, the steak is mostly great, and I haven't even touched on the shopping.  After wandering wide-eyed (and mostly broke) down Fifth Avenue, my nose pressed up to the glass of window displays like some hungry waif looking at diners, I spent a glorious afternoon at The Strand. 18 miles of bookshelves, and it's like I walked a ten-K with a book (books) in my hand. 

MM786 happy in the 212. 😋

MANSFIELD INVESTITURE FRIDAY

The league of prosecutors may be a collection of super-heroes, but they need a good editor. 

The League of Prosecutors congratulates the Honorable Joseph Mansfield as she is sworn in today as County Court Judge.                 We wish you success as you serve the citizens of Miami-Dade County.

It happens to the best of us. We made a typo once. It was post #789. 

Long weekend. Enjoy. 

From Occupied America, Fight the Power. 

CODE BROWN

CODE BROWN and a building-wide lockdown was the order of the day today- Thursday- starting around 10:15 AM and lasting for about an hour. As "Code Brown, clear people from the hallways" was repeatedly broadcast over the REGJB loudspeakers, corrections officers and bailiffs hustled people from the hallway into the courtrooms and then locked the doors. 

Several lawyers reported judges being whisked off the bench and going to their chambers, leaving a courtroom of scared and confused citizens in the galley, and lawyers, PDs and ASAs commenting on the judges' absences. We note that leadership occurs when regular people do irregular things at moments of real and possible danger. Did any judge remain in court to calm everyone down? Or did they just huddle in their chambers, peaking out from below their desks? We do not know. 

Of course in the wake of yesterday's tragedy, the Code Brown lockdown was met with fear and nervous silence in many courtrooms. The incessant beeping of the public address system for long periods of time didn't help calm the nerves of the people locked inside the courtroom. 

We live in violent times. 
But we need those guns, right? 
Gotta have those guns. 
Second amendment and the lord and all that. 
Jesus wants us to have guns. So does the NRA and Trump. 

From occupied America, where mentally ill people have easy access to firearms which allows them to murder children in their school, Fight The Power!