TRISKAIDEKAPHOBIA???

Triskaidekaphobia. Fear of the number 13.

Friday May 13, 2011. The day blogger was shut down for a long while.

Did you miss us?

Earlier this week Browierd, being Browierd, had planes flying over the courthouse pulling banners calling the inhabitants "innept" and corrupt". Get all the details at FUKTHISCOURT dot COM (you were expecting a different web address?)

Blog coverage is here.

FACLD DINNER SATURDAY NIGHT: Who wants to live blog it for us? More imporantly, who wants to disrrupt the proceedings by streaking with a "FUKTHISCOURT" banner? We'll post bond for you.

We don't go to those things. The proximity of so many judges seeking free liquor makes us nervous.

Parakeets are becoming pests in our home town. As per the NY Times.

Have a good weekend. We'll be Twittering the highlights. Might be time to take the boat out.

JUDGE BARZEE RESIGNS

Another week, another qualified Judge leaves the bench at the height of her career.

Tuesday afternoon saw confirmation of the rumoured news that Judge Mary Barzee is leaving the Circuit Court Bench to join Gene Stearns at Stearns. Weaver, Miller, et. al. We know the firm primarily through their sponsorship of WLRN in Miami, but Gene Stearns is as good and respected attorney in Miami as there is.

We are sorry to see Judge Barzee leave, but we wish her well in her new endeavors.

And now a message to our legislature and moronic Governor:

Keep this up pinheads. You get what you pay for. You have prosecutors and public defenders who can't survive on the meager salaries you pay them and you have Judges who at the height of their careers cannot afford to turn down private sector offers because of the security it brings to them and their families.

But go right ahead and keep reducing salaries and pensions and blame the budget woes on teachers and prosecutors and soon this state won't be worth a bucket of cheap sand.

We are only as good as the people who represent the state and perform the valuable functions of government. By your actions you are lowering the bar. Less qualified teachers will turn out less qualified students who cannot compete. Dedicated public servants who perform indispensable jobs are leaving. It's like the plot of Atlas Shrugged, but this is all too real.

What's going to happen the next time the nation turns its eyes to Florida and seeks a wise judicial resolution of, lets create a wild scenario- say a presidential election? Or what happens when an important criminal case is brought to court? What is going to happen when we only have inexperienced prosecutors and judges who are far from the best and the brightest?

You get what you pay for.

As John Galt says in Atlas Shrugged: "You were warned."

See you in court.

DUI DIVERSION

With a hat tip to DUI maven Bobby Reiff, who sent out an email late on Monday, here is the statement from the current Commissar of County Court: ASA David Maer:

Sorry about the caps- he's the one shouting, not us.

According to Mr. Reiff: However, admission is not automatic and the program will include several very expensive, onerous and time consuming requirements before the person may receive their ultimate resolution of a reckless driving conviction with a withholding of adjudication.

A NEW INITIATIVE FOR ELIGIBLE FIRST TIME DUI OFFENDERS IN NON-CRASH CASES WILL BE FORMALLY IMPLEMENTED IN THE COMING WEEKS. ELIGIBLE CANDIDATES UPON SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION WILL RESULT IN A DISPOSITION OF:

RECKLESS DRIVING – ADJUDICATION WITHHELD

COMPLETE ELIGIBILITY AND PROGRAM DETAILS WILL BE RELEASED VERY SOON. IN THE MEANTIME, IF YOUR CASE HAS BEEN IDENTIFIED AS AN ELIGIBLE CANDIDATE, YOU MAY WISH TO SEEK A DEFENSE CONTINUANCE UNTIL THE INITIATIVE’S DETAILS ARE WORKED OUT. HOWEVER, WHILE A CASE MAY APPEAR ELIGIBLE, FURTHER SCREENING WILL BE CONDUCTED BEFORE THE PERSON IS ADMITTED INTO THE PROGRAM AND THE MIAMI-DADE STATE ATTORNEY’S OFFICE RETAINS SOLE DISCRETION ON WHETHER TO ADMIT OR REJECT APPLICANTS FOR ADMISSION.

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN BEING CONSIDERED FOR PARTICIPATION IN THIS INITIATIVE, PLEASE REQUEST A DEFENSE CONTINUANCE AND THE STATE WILL ANNOTATE THE FILE ACCORDINGLY AND YOU WILL BE ADVISED IN ADVANCE OF THE NEXT REPORT/SOUNDING IN ORDER TO PARTICIPATE IN THE INITIATIVE

HYPOCRISY: DUI STYLE

BREAKING: HOT NEW RUMOR- LONG TIME 3RD DCA JUDGE DAVID GERSTEN TO HANG UP HIS WORD PROCESSOR FOR PRIVATE PRACTICE. He will join Donner and Dancer and Blitzin at the north pole.....woops...he will join Bilzin, Sumberg Baena Price & Axelrod, LLP. His last day to vote to affirm is July 5, 2011.

Attention: The Colonel Of County Court has an announcement:

DUI DIVERSION PROGRAM IN EFFECT AS OF TODAY:

Up through Monday May 2, 2011, if you had a client who had a first DUI (simple case- no accident, no injuries) and the case went to trial and you lost, the prosecution would ask for jail (up to six months) and Judges would normally give jail and everyone would join in the fiasco that the client was not being punished for going to trial. No one would mention that the plea offer seconds before the jury was brought down was a non-jail offer. But the Judge and prosecution would go out of their way to justify the punishment based on "the facts of the case."

No more. As of today, Monday May 9, 2011, DUI DIVERSION is now in effect. Your client, if he or she jumps through some hoops and pays a boatload of money (it's always about money Rumpole, isn't it?) and has DUI in which there is not an accident or an injury, they will get a reduction to a reckless driving and a withhold of adjudication.

How will these judges and prosecutors ever be able to look at themselves in the mirror again based on how they treated first DUI offenders who had the temerity to demand the state prove the case beyond a reasonable doubt?

Nota Bene: This is a Dade County program and not statewide. Although Orlando has a diversion program as well for DUIs.

That is all. Dismissed. And remember: there's gold in them there misdemeanors, just not as much as there used to be in DUIs.

Rumpole says: We never understood how you could steal a car and get diversion for a felony first offense, but not get diversion for a misdemeanor.

WACK A MOLE

BLOODLUST: Thirty years after first securing a conviction and death sentence, the same white Texas state prosecutor is again trying to kill the same black defendant even though the US Supreme court reversed the verdict and sentence, finding that the Bowie County prosecutors who tried the case suppressed evidence and deliberately covered their mistakes for decades. The NY Times coverage is here.

Chaos in the closing moments of the Florida Legislative session as Senate President Mike Haridopolos (R-"Let them eat cake") saw his carefully crafted session devolve into internecine fighting among Republicans.

The title of the post links to the Herald article.

Some highlights:

The end of the lawmaking session Saturday should have been Mike Haridopolos’ triumph – a celebration of the Republican agenda that the Florida Senate president touts in his U.S. Senate race.

But Haridopolos was a model of dejection. It was the middle of the night — 3:35 a.m. — and the session had unraveled in its final hours, with Republicans fighting Republicans, Senate vs. House...

The man he called his “friend,” House Speaker Dean Cannon, helped put him in this predicament. The two are the Florida Legislature’s most powerful lawmakers....

I just candidly never saw this coming,” said Haridopolos, who tried to accommodate Cannon all session. But Haridopolos’ concessions only sowed resentment with rank-and-file senators. ...

House members retaliated by killing Senate bills and stripping a gambling deal from a tax-cut bill that helped operators of amusement arcade games like Whac-A-Mole. That forced the Senate into the wee hours as bleary-eyed senators were rousted from bed, bars or their offices...

You have a Senate president running for higher office and he’s much more limited in what he can do,” said Rep. Jeff Clemens, D-Lake Worth. “He needs to be aware of every step he takes because it can be used against him. There’s no doubt about it. Dean Cannon did that. He played Mike Haridopolos.”

GEORGE BUSH ANNOUNCEMENT

Al Queda confirms death of Bin Laden. No announcement on the gopher.

Federal Commission recommends creation of national museum to honor hispanics. They'll probably build it in Minnesotta. No word on national museum to honor Slovaks, Asians, Philipinos and Islanders from the Isle of Man.

CINCO DE MAYO

Today we celebrate Cinco De Mayo on our humble blog.

Yesterday DOM celebrated "Starwars Day: May The 4th be with you..."

You decide.

Today DOM has the press release from the White House formally nominating Bob Scola to be a United States District Court Judge. Expected confirmation date: November, 2016.

NEVER FORGET: Our fallen heroes. The Herald reports here that streets are being named for Detectives Amanda Haworth and Roger Castillo who were murdered January 20th in the line of duty.

HRH Prince Charles visited the Supreme Court on Tuesday.

"Rule Britannia, Britannia rules the waves,

but Thomas never never never will speak again."

There was a spirited discussion in our blog's comment section yesterday over the killing of Bin Laden. One thing sort of caught our attention: starting from President Gerald Ford, aren't there two Executive Orders prohibiting the US from assassinating political leaders? Reagan signed the other one.

The State Court Criminal Judges pow-wowed this week. Any idea what was discussed? We know $omething juicy....

Out of town...out of the country.

Happy Cinco De Mayo. Have a cerveza Presidente on us.

See You In Court real soon.

BUMPED FROM MONDAY

Longtime and careful blog readers know that neither rain nor sleet nor snow nor gloom of night shall stay Rumpole from the swift completion of his planned blog post.

But the killing of Osama Bin Laden will do it every time.

Here was the post, with appropriate and timely changes, that was due to brighten your Monday:

The Broward JAA Blog's coverage of L'Affair Du Judge Ilona Homes just keeps percolating along.

They posted this "we're sort of sorry" letter from the BSO to Judge Holmes and her family.

The gist of the letter is - reading between the lines- that "you're black and in every other circumstance when we come out to a home black people- especially black people who carry guns (even lawfully as Judge Holmes was doing) go to jail, so count yourself as lucky for now." It's really quite insulting and puts blame on everyone and anyone except those who responded to the call.

Here is the press conference of Judge Holmes' family.

Sunday was "Yom Hashoah"- Holocaust remembrance day.

This is one of many websites in which you can access and get the names of Holocaust victims. It is a meaningful experience to pick out the particular name of a person or a family and spend a year repeating their name, remembering their birthday or the day they were killed.

DOM opines on federal criminal discovery practices ( general rule-"nothing shall be disclosed to the defense that will help the defense...").

Our fear is that far from getting Congress to change the law, Florida Legislators will read DOM's piece and start looking at Rule 3.220 and getting ideas.

Speaking of the Florida Legislature, they did something to the Supreme Court but ended up not being able to split the court into two sections (the "appeal granted section" in which one clerk is given one "appeal granted" stamp, and the "appeal denied" section in which 150 clerks are given 150 "appeal denied" stamps).

Although defeat is indeed an orphan, the Republican dominated Legislature is not discouraged. Plans were announced for next year to "get rid of that dad-gum reasonable doubt crap that is ruining our society."

Today we are safer. We feel safer. How about you?

See You In Court.

OBAMA TO SPEAK AT 10:30 PM- BIN LADEN KILLED

AND NOW AT 10:47 PM WE CAN REPORT THE PRESIDENT WILL ANNOUNCE THAT AS A RESULT OF A US OPERATION OSAMA BIN LADEN HAS BEEN KILLED.

MONDAY MORNING UPDATE: Secretary of State Hillary Clinton just gave a short speech/statement that was the best of her career. Very Churchillian. We have never been big fans of her, but she was superb this morning.

NY Times breaks the story here.

Details of the raid here.

BREAKING.

President Obama will address the nation tonight (Sunday night) at approximately 10:30 PM. For those of you still up, stand by for more details.

UPDATE: NBC REPORTS THAT THE PRESIDENT WILL BE SPEAKING ABOUT A "GRAVE AND SERIOUS CIA OPERATION" THAT TOOK PLACE OVERSEAS.

More as soon as we know it. There is something about this we really don't like. We are bracing ourselves for the worst? An attempted attack of some sort? We shall see.

OK MORE NOW: AN INCIDENT IN PAKISTAN INVOLVING OSAMA BIN LADEN.

Hopefully some CIA agent put a grenade up his ass and pulled the pin.

3RD DCA LUNCHEON

Third District Court of Appeal

Historical Society, Inc.

cordially invites you to attend its

Biennial Luncheon With The Judges

A “Members Only” Event with the Judges of

The Third District Court of Appeal

Featuring “Reflections on Serving as Chief Judge”

by The Honorable Juan Ramirez

May 13, 2011 at 12:00 noon

Hyatt Regency Coral Gables at The Alhambra,

50 Alhambra Plaza

There will be no on-site registration. Registration Closes May 4. (Rumpole notes: If you are late you may be asked to explain yourself in lieu of sanctions!)

Please access the Historical Society’s Membership Enrollment Form here

Please access the Historical Society’s Luncheon Registration Form here.

Rumpole notes: Always happy to help our friends at the 3rd DCA.

THE DREADED "P" WORD

"P" as in Parole.

Parole- what Hollywood and the local news tells us is the organization that repeatedly scours the dregs of the prison system so that liberal bureaucrats can return the most violent of all prisoners to society so that they can prey upon the innocent again and again.

But lets ignore Hollywood and Fox News for a moment.

A NY Editorial Thursday takes a rational (non-Fox News) look at parole and the results are not surprising.

Of all States in the union, Oregon had the lowest rate of recidivism from prisoners released from state custody (22.8%) versus 57.8% for California and a national average of 39.9%.

Why?

In the 1990s, the Oregon Legislature created a rating system that allows parole officers to employ a range of sanctions — short of a return to prison — for offenders whose infractions were minor and did not present a danger. A parolee who fails a drug test can be sent to residential drug treatment or sentenced to house arrest or community service. In 2003, the state passed a law requiring all state-financed correctional treatment programs to use methods that have been shown to improve client compliance and to reduce recidivism.

As Florida struggles with an expanding prison population and a shrinking budget with neither the funds for prosecution or defense, reducing prison related costs seems a good alternative.

Plus Hollywood could then start churning out movies about Florida parolees who are released to "finish the job they started". etc.

WE'VE STRUCK GOLD

All of the sudden today got very interesting. Read the whole post por favor.

You've been asking for it since Monday.

You've been nervously checking the blog to see when it was available.

Courtesy of South Florida Lawyers, we present to you.....the complaint.

Marc "another lap dance" Gold

vs.

Gold Rush.

Who said "Liquor and beautiful women don't mix?"

Not us.

QUERY: What's the Difference between Bertie Soto (Dade Chief Criminal Court Judge) and Ilona Homes (Broward Chief Criminal Court Judge)?

Answer: Judge Soto didn't almost shoot it out with the police. Broweird being Broweird, Ilona Holmes (a former Dade ASA and So. Fl AUSA) did. Check out the video here and the JAA Blog coverage here. Wild. But then, it's Browierd. Here's the deal in Browierd: If you're an African American, the police in Browierd want to arrest you, even if you're doing the dishes in your own home, as Judge Holme's sister found out on Easter Sunday. That wasn't a big bunny pointing a gun at her sister. It was a BSO Officer.

DOM: reports on more big NGs in Federal Court. Congrats to Fed PDs Michael Caruso, D'Arsey Houlihan and Vanessa Chen, and former Fed PD and current legal bigwig Hector Flores (husband of our own Circuit Judge Mary Barzee-Flores). The Feds went down hard on a huge Securities Case.

See You In Court.

Oh yeah- Obama released his long form birth certificate today. Game set and match against the "birthers." Or maybe not. Lots of nitpicking questions will emerge such as why was the document registered two days after the birth and why did the doctor sign it three days after the birth and why didn't the doctor and the mother sign it at the same time. Just watch. These lunatics will never shut up.

IZZY REYES TO RETIRE NEXT MONTH

But we already said that, and you already knew it.

What are the ramifications of a good, honest, dedicated jurist leaving the bench because Governor Scott's attempt to balance the budget on the backs of public servants?

Well, in this instance, we lose an excellent and experienced judge.

Who will replace him?

DOM posted a link to a wild federal order out of Texas that starts "Progress May have been alright once, but it has gone on too long." The wacky opinion is here.

The NFL Lockout was ended by Judicial Fiat, but for how long?

Send us your guess for who the Dolphins pick in the first two rounds this year. Winner gets something.

FACDL Banquet coming up. Who's going? Not us. Too many lawyers in a small space makes us nervous.

Here's what we don't get about the Libya thing: We can drop bombs on soldiers and their generals all day long, but if one American per chance has Qadiffi in his or her gun sights, they cannot legally pull the trigger.

Also this: If Qadaffi buys it, what other words are there that start with a Q but don't have a U?

Some reporter from the DBR is sniffing around the lot 26 story. He wants a lawyer to get beat up....we mean arrested, and then interview them. Any volunteers?

Really, we got nothing today.

See you in court.

EXODUS CHAPTER III

MORE BREAKING NEWS: It has been rumored for a few months now that the first casualty of the new plan that would cut judges salaries by 30% would be the resignation of Judge Izzy Reyes. We now believe that is official. Judge Reyes will be leaving for a job in the private sector shortly.

We lose an experienced and dedicated jurist today because we get the quality of judges that we pay for.

Oh What A Night! All Judges leaving the bench for the lucrative private sector would be well advised to avoid the night had by one Marc Gold, Esq., who according to South Florida Lawyers, has sued the Gentlemen's Establishment Gold Rush for a night that cost him over 18 grand on his credit card. And the worst part is, according to the complaint, he is doesn't remember most of it!

Rumpole says, if you're going to rack up 18 grand in the champagne room, you should at least get a few memories out of the deal.

BREAKING NEWS: A ROY T GELBER UPDATE! :

Long time denizens of the REGJB remember former Judge Roy T. Gelber. He was indicted in the Courtbroom scandal and ended up testifying for the government against fellow Judges Sepe, Schenberg, Goodhart, et. al. Gelber served a lengthy prison sentence and was released back to our community. Apparently to offend again.

Now comes word from a Miami Herald article that the former Judge who once tried to use bankruptcy to get out of his law school loans is implicated in an airplane parts ponzi scheme.

And to think that an ASA a long time ago once got a conviction reversed when she told a jury that a Tiger doesn't change his stripes. (Bonus points if you get the name of the former ASA correct.)

Like a bad penny, Roy T Gelber keeps turning up at the scenes of crimes in South Florida.

LOT 26 Monday, April 25, 2011. 9:00 am ish:

"Rumpole went to the Pharoah Brown and said 'LET THE ATTORNEYS PARK.'.

But the Pharoah's heart was hardened and even now, after two blog posts, he did not let the attorneys park."

A VERY WORTHY CAUSE

With the news that Boot Camp has closed for lack of funding, and with the Governor actively trying to shut down the State (Governor Scott's Motto: "Florida: We're closed. Please check back shortly." *) comes this email from Judge Deborah White-Labora:

Dear Rump,

A few months ago I was siting in on a Friends of Drug Court board meeting. We were discussing whether we would be able to continue our long tradition of serving lunch at graduations given the budget situation.

Phill Reizenstein suggested that members of the defense bar might be interested in sponsoring the luncheon. Well a message went out over the list serve and our colleagues immediately stepped in to help. This month our graduation luncheon is being sponsored by Maria and Ed Shohat and we are booked with sponsorships through the summer! (If I may I will keep you up to date on the sponsors each month.)

We have an amazing group of talented, caring lawyers at the REGJB!

Best regards,

DWL.

Rumpole says: Kudos to Judge White, Phil Reizenstein, Maria and Ed Shohat and the board of Friends of Drug Court. This program along with Court Care are the two programs at the REGJB that we care about the most.

If you missed it, over the weekend Dolphin's wide receiver Brandon Marshall was shut down again- this time by his wife. Marshall couldn't shake the coverage and she stabbed him, but thankfully he is ok.

Another Monday. Another parking nightmare? Let us know.

Violence begets violence, and stupidity begets....well, you fill in the rest after reading that the Florida Legislature is rolling back Florida's Bright Futures scholarship program. The Herald article is here.

Fire Station dedicated to Hero Firefighter: Robert "Casey" Lamme is being honored for his heroism when thirty years ago he was killed when he stopped, while off duty, to rescue a woman in a burning car on the Palmetto.

GOOD FRIDAY

UPDATED: It's not Good Friday for everyone: Hank Adorno suspended for three years. The Supreme Court decision is here. Rumpole tip: it never bodes well for you when the decision of the Florida Supreme Court uses the word "egregious" over ten times to describe your conduct.

(Hat tip: South Florida Lawyers).

Friday is Good Friday and state courts are closed. (Plenty of Parking in Lot 26!)

Who knew?

Oy vey.

DOM has the news on some NGs in a mortgage fraud case and on former Southern District Assistant Federal Public Defender- and the current Federal Public Defender for San Diego (talk about winning the lottery!) Reuben Cahn arguing before the Supremes.

The JAABlog has Browierd sinking to a new low and prosecuting a 90 year old man for domestic violence.

Senator Ensign (R-Adulterer) Nevada will resign on Friday.

Good Friday means Satisfying Saturday and Easter Sunday. Enjoy.

Watch our Twitter this weekend for any developments.

EXODUS CHAPTER II

(In our first chapter of Exodus, Rumpole, upon seeing the parking problems at lot 26 this past Monday approached the Pharaoh Brown and said "LET MY PEOPLE PARK!" But Pharaoh Brown's heart was hardened and he did not let the people park.)

Chapter II:

The Pharaoh's heart was hardened but he was not unmoved. He pondered his situation as the lawyers complained.

Pharaoh Brown (PB): Hmm, the people are restless. The attorneys are angry. Something must be done. Get me Sam Slom.

Court Jester: GET THE PHARAOH SAM SLOM. So it is written, so let it be done!

Sam Slom: You called Pharaoh?

PB: Yes. Put down that enormous beverage cup you are always carrying and have a seat.

The lawyers are restless. This is not good.

SS: This is not good.

PB: I have an idea!

SS: You have an idea??!!

PB: We will let some of the lawyers park. Go now, move some of the legions to the other lot. Lets see hmm...

SS: I will move some of the legions to the other lot.

PB: Say 40 of the legion.

SS: 40 of the legion.

PB: I just said that.

SS: But you said for me to say it.

PB: Who do I look like? Bud Abbott? I am the Pharaoh Brown. Stick to the right century please.

SS: Sticking to the right century.

PB: Move 40 of the legion to the other lot. But tell them this- the production of bricks shall not fall one brick. They shall show up on time and they shall praise the Pharaoh.

Court Jester: The productions of bricks shall not fall one brick! The lawyers shall be on time. So it is written, so it shall be done!

From: "Slom, Samuel"
Date: Apr 20, 2011 7:11 AM
Subject: Parking on lot 26
To: "Sabrina Puglisi" "Jude M. Faccidomo"
Cc: "Soto, Bertila" , "Garcia, Amy"

Thank you for your recent e-mails on the parking situation in lot 26.

Yesterday, Judge Soto the AOC, Court liaison and I met with the City of Miami at which time a plan was put into place that would involve the movement of 40 law enforcement officers from lot 26 to lot 18.

It may take a short period of time to implement this transition but it is hoped that this will free up spots in lot 26 for the paying customers.

Thanks for your patience as the court is attempting to facilitate a resolution to the problem. The City of Miami is committed to solving this situation as well .

Sam Slom

EXODUS

THUS SAYETH THE LAWYERS TO THE EVIL PHARAOH BROWN:

LET MY PEOPLE PARK!

Judging by the emails flying on the FACDL list-serv and the emails we received, Monday was one of the worst days yet for attorneys trying to park in the lot where they have already paid to secure parking:

Not to beat a dead horse, but would someone please remind me why I am subsidizing parking for police officers to my own detriment?

...

Not only that but they park in tail first then exit facing the wrong direction. They park on the swales on top of the curbs and in general are inconsiderate and believe it’s a police lot.

"But Pharaoh Brown's heart was hardened and he refused to let the lawyers park:"

We received this email on Monday:

"Rumpole-- I don't know if you are in court today, but the most harrowing thing yet happened to me in lot 26. There were no spaces and cars were circling. I saw a space open up on the next aisle and as I got to the end of the aisle I was on and made the turn, a police car came racing up two aisles over and also turned but I was first. Clearly the officer wanted the same spot I did. I drove to the spot and as I started to pull in the officer turned on his emergency lights and ordered me out of my car. I knew what was going to happen so I called my office on my new I-Phone 4 and set up a video chat with my secretary and had another lawyer in my office watch so we had witnesses. I then got out of my car. The officer was incensed. He asked if I was videoing this and I said yes. He demanded that I turn it off and i refused. I then told him at least two people were watching this and asked him to explain on video why he activated his emergency lights and ordered me out of the car. The officer was furious. He said he was going to arrest me for reckless driving and now for refusing the lawful order of an officer. I told him to do whatever he needed to do, that I was not going to resist and that I was sure he was angry because I had arrived first at a parking space he wanted. I then filmed the parking spot my car was half in and his vehicle. Another officer arrived and spoke with the officer who was obviously losing control. To make a longer story short, the second officer calmed the first one down and they both drove away. Rumpole, I am convinced that I was not arrested only because I remained calm and had the presence of mind to film the encounter. Please help. This situation is getting out of hand."

"And so among the lawyers only one- a rumpled figure, beseeched the Evil Pharaoh Brown and said "Lo I have been a stranger in a strange land (Broward) but now on behalf of the lawyers, I say to you: LET THE LAWYERS PARK!"

But the Evil Pharaoh Brown's heart was hardened and he did not let the lawyers park....."

To be continued....

April 19,2011:

According to one popular movie, this was a very bad day. Find out why, tomorrow, on your favourite local legal blog. We'll be back.

GOODLUCK

Longtime and careful readers of this blog know our affinity for Nigeria's president Goodluck Jonathan who was appointed president last year after the death of the well known late prsident Umaru Yar'Adua.

We are pleased to report that Mr. Jonathan has been elected president in his own right in Nigeria's election this past week. Goodluck Jonathan thus becomes his country's Johnson and not Ford.

SUGAR KILLS! You read it here first (although we twittered the link yesterday.) Here is the NY Times Magazine Article on Sugar. And we highly recommend you go on you-tube and watch Dr. Lustig's lecture: Sugar-The Bitter Truth."

Put down that Coke. Don't pick up that Gatorade. Go pour yourself a nice pure glass of cold water with lemon and read the article and save your life.

ANOTHER MONDAY- ANOTHER DIFFICULT DAY OF PARKING....courtesy of the City of Miami and some obnoxious officers who do not even come close to following the rules they are paid by us to enforce.

A quiet week with Passover today and tomorrow. Throw out the bread, get some matzos and we will see you in court.

CAASRADA

Concerned

Attorneys

Against

Stupid

Repetitive

And

Dumb

Acronyms.

Case in point: WPNG- anyone and everyone who practices criminal law knows that PNG means "Plea of not guilty." Indeed at least half the Judges in the REGJB know that as well, but we digress.

There are two ways you can enter a plea of not guilty: you can go to court and during the arraignment say the words "the defendant pleads not guilty" or you can file a written plea and thus obviate the need for your client to attend the proceeding (in State Court. Don't make that mistake in Federal Court!)

When someone in the comments section writes that they "filed a WPNG" it is a redundancy. If you've been paying attention you know there are two ways to enter a plea of not guilty- say it or file a written plea. It is, to the best of our knowledge, impossible to file an oral plea.

Therefore, it is a redundancy to say that one "filed" a written plea- there is no other way to do it.

CAASRADA will meet the third Tuesday of every month at AEETBNL:

an exclusive eatery to be named later.

GET A ROOM...ON SECOND THOUGHT....

The JAABlog reports on the rumor of the day- that two amorous ASA's were caught In Flagrante Delicto in the Broward County parking garage.

We'd be tempted to tell the over-heated crime fighters to go get a room. But with all Governor Scott is doing to state employees, our sympathies are with them. Perhaps they cannot afford a room. Now if they were going at it on county time....well that would be a different kettle of fish all together.

Speaking of Sex :

We are loathe to even dignify this conversation, but we shall, just this once.

There is a damn good reason why an individual's sexual orientation is not allowed to be discussed on the blog. It's nobody's damn business. Now WHERE they seek fulfillment might be someone's business, if they do it on county property and government time ( see above.) But otherwise there is more of chance that we would offer to take the entire Dade Judiciary to lunch at Joes and wash their cars while they ate then we would allow anyone discuss this subject on the blog.

Look at it another way. Nobody looks at Judge A and says identifies the Judge as a heterosexual judge. Just like most police descriptions used to not mention the individual's race if they were white. But for reasons similar to why african-american males are routinely singled out as "black males" in police report while white males are just "males", gay judges would be routinely referred to as "a gay judge", while we have never heard anyone refer to a heterosexual judge as a "straight judge."

Nobody deserves to be labeled and identified simply on their sexual preference. It's as irrelevant as identifying an individual by the sport team they support (although there is a damn good reason to make an exception for people who support the cheater-Patriots.)

So just stop it already. It will never make this blog.

There you have it. We got two things that were bothering us off our chests.

As we said, spring is in the air, and a young ASA's thoughts quickly turn away from min-mans and to love. Just be careful. You never know who's watching or what security cam is recording the most embarrassing moment of your life.

See You In Court.