TOP O THE STRUTHIOUS

It's an all Struthian St. Patricks Day here on the Blog!

For the traditional Irish Blessing, make a trip over to Rumpole's favourite Princess who has all the words (and all the moves) to make this a great day.

MICHELLE SPENCE JONES AFTERMATH:

The SAO still has a second case pending against the embattled but victorious Miami City Commissioner. Will the SAO proceed on the second case after yesterday's resounding defeat? Will ASA Scruggs get off the mat and try again?

Or will the SAO put .....(can't resist) their head in the sand?

True fact(?) Struthious is trending high on Google and Twitter?

May your blessings outnumber the shamrocks that grow,
And may trouble avoid you wherever you go...

See You In Court.

Blog contest: pick the next big word our favourite sesquipedalian judge squeezes into an opinion. WInner gets....a Thesaurus!!!

MOTION GRANTED, BUT NOT IN BRIEF

WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON UPDATE: MICHELLE SPENCE JONES ACQUITTED. CONGRATS TO PETER RABEN. WELL DONE.!!


ATT00081

We will be brief:

My oh my, where to begin?

Everyone's favourite Sesquipedalian Judge has issued an order granting a motion to suppress. It is mind boggling. It is a pean to egoism, but not in a bad way. And as they say, "it ain't bragging if you can do it." And boy can he bring it. From the obvious pedestrian references to Shakespeare to "apodictic" (stolen from the recent 3rd DCA opinions) to "the dreaded S word" (his own creation=standing) to his pedantic footnote in which he claims William Pitt The Elder, The First Earl Of Chathman, is "oft quoted" (not in this world) to the second most dreaded "S" Word: " struthious."

Let's dig in.

Our Sesquipedalian Judge starts with a false nod to brevity by engaging in a standing analysis in which he begins by writing: In this spirit – in the spirit of sparing the slaughter of trees to make paper, or the perturbation of electrons to make pixels...and then he spits in the eye of the spirit of brevity by writing seventeen (17) long pages of this claptrap and piffle.

When confronted with technical language used by the officers, (for which he modestly feigns ignorance) he characterizes it as "police argot".

When finding that a defendant has indisputable standing, he pulls out his thesaurus to write:

As to Damian Glover, his case for standing is irrefragable.

Writing about the fourth amendment our Judge searches his inner Brandeis, seeking a flourishing peroration about the amendment for which he strives, at this late date, to put his own stamp on: Undoubtedly faith is a virtue; but where the Fourth Amendment is concerned, due diligence and reasonable inquiry are greater virtues..

And finally, just to make sure the officers know who's in charge and who's smarter, he takes this nifty shot:

we do not demand of the officers the level of scholarship and

sophistication associated with those who possess an LL.M in real property law from the

University of Miami; (or from sesquipedalian Judges) but neither do we permit them to display a struthious and willful blindness. ( notice the subtle use of the royal "we" that we write our blog with?)

For those of you who care, "struthious" means "of relating to an Ostrich and related birds".

There must be an easier, wiser, more judicious way of saying that the police cannot put their heads in the sand.

So there you have it, in all its glory, Volume 1, pages 3-19 (pages 1-2 are comprised of his initial practice order issued January 1, 2011, at 12:01 am) of the collected Wit and Wisdom of Judge Milton Hirsch. Much more to follow as we cannot get enough of this stuff. It's what makes bored bloggers sit up and smile.

For now we leave you and the Judge with this thought from our beloved Bard who we assure you we were quoting when the Judge was knee high to a police officer spouting argot:

Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit,
And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes,
I will be brief.
~William Shakespeare, Hamlet

Words to rule and write by, eh?

ELDERLY JUDGES

BREAKING: DOWN GOES YOSS, DOWN GOES YOSS.

SOFLA has all the details on the civil blog.

Sort of out of it today (Monday). Sorry for the late post and no, we have not jumped the shark. Jeeze. One late post and the world starts crumbling. Literally.

Please donate to the Red Cross to help Japan here.

LEGAL LEGEND?

Besides the obvious (Rumpole) do you know of anyone else deserving of recognition as a Miami LEGAL LEGEND?

Past recipients have included Judges Harvey Shenberg and Roy T. Gelber woops....never mind- that's another category entirely.

Lets try again. Past recipients have included Janet Reno, Sy Gaer, Albert Krieger, and Judges Mario Goderich and Matte Bell Davis.

If you want to nominate someone, click here:

The Legal Legend award is sponsored by the 11 Judicial Circuit Historical Society (Motto: "Uncovering bones in judicial closets for a few years now.")

THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:

SENIOR JUDGES ..... FEEDBACK

The following senior judges' current service will expire on September 30 and they are seeking service renewal.

Any persons having knowledge bearing upon the fitness or qualifications of any of the senior judges on this list to continue service as a senior judge should send, on or before April 15, written comments to Thomas D. Hall, Clerk, Florida Supreme Court, 500 South Duval Street, Tallahassee 32399, or by e-mail at seniorjudge@flcourts.org, or by telephone to the chair of the appropriate review board as noted.

Review Board Three Chair: Judge Juan Ramirez, Jr.,(305) 229-3200, ext. 3216):

Senior Judges:

Philip Cook, Robert M. Deehl, Charles D. Edelstein, Eugene J. Fierro, Seymour Gelber, Marvin H. Gillman, William E. Gladstone, Leonard E. Glick, Jon I. Gordon, Edward S. Klein, Judith L. Kreeger, Thomas K. Petersen, Jeffrey Rosinek, Alan R. Schwartz, Martin Shapiro, Roger A. Silver, Stuart M. Simons, Raphael Steinhardt, Herbert Stettin, Sandra Taylor and David L. Tobin.

Cap Out .....

THE TROUBLE WITH ZAPATOS

Toe the line.....

Or....(thanks to the late, great Johnny Cochran)

"IF YOUR SHOES CAN'T CLEAR THE SCANNER

YOU CAN'T SEE YOUR CLIENT IN THE SLAMMER."

With Code Browns, earthquakes and tsunami warnings breaking out everywhere, now comes word about the trouble with Shoes at Metro West and with the Dade Department of Corrections (Motto: "You can see your client at any time for as long as you want on any day of the week that does not end with a "Y".)

This email made the rounds and started it all:

Brothers and Sisters,
Last night at metro west, I learned of a new policy: you must be able to clear the metal detector with your shoes on. If you cannot, you cannot come in.
The officer told me they just started it and he let me pass, but it seems we will now need shoes that can pass the detector in the very near future.
Although it has not been confirmed, he also told me it was to be a system wide rule and enforced at the other detention facilities.

But, look up in that courtroom, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's EDITH GEORGI, Esq., to the rescue!!!

Edith Georgi to carmen, Sabrina, facdl-miami, rumpole....(NOT REALLY)

My office checked with the Captain who says there is no such rule.

Rumpole wants to know if Ms. Georgi called the Blog El Capitan, or some paper pusher at DOC?

In any event, if you're following a time line, heres a quick recap:

an earthquake hit Japan, Judge Brown woke up for his morning Yoga, some clients brought more rounds of ammo into the REGJB after yesterday's weapons scare, and then this email went out:

I was at Metro West last Saturday. I was told I can not bring any brief case into jail. Now we need to carry sneakers with us to get into jail! I think it's about Time FACDL put its foot down!

Rumpole says: listen smart guy, save the puns for us. And if it is relief you seek, start with us and skip the FACDL, unless it's banquet reservations you are trying to make.

So, as the weekend approaches, we are left with these questions:

WIll the good lord wipe Hollywood and Charlie Sheen off the map with a great flood?

How does Edith Georgi know the secret identity of the Captain?

Will Miami Corrections start requiring attorneys to wear matching socks? What if an attorney wears blue socks with brown shoes, can they still practice law?

Can we enter metro west barefoot? How about in moccasins?

What happened to that frozen venison confiscated yesterday from the REGJB?

Stay tuned for answers to these questions and more.

Coming next week- what's the best single piece of advice you would give a young attorney starting out (other than use contraception at all times?)

SEE YOU IN COURT. ENJOY THE WONDERFUL WEEKEND.

CODE BROWN!!

SPENCER-JONES TRIAL UPDATE: The conclusion of the trial has been delayed until Monday as ASA Richard Scruggs has been hospitalized. No word on his condition.

SPY CAM- this was the scene of confusion and mild affray this morning outside of our venerable courthouse. Also visible: several characters loitering and/or prowling.

1:15 PM UPDATE: THE ALL CLEAR SIREN SOUNDED AND THE REGJB IS NOW OPEN FOR BUSINESS.

No gun was found however the following contraband was recovered:

14 unauthorized nail clippers;

1- "Al Sepe For Judge" bumper sticker, circa 1978;

1 book- The Collected Wit and Wisdom of Judge Henry Fero-paperback Penguin edition;

19 frozen Venison sausages;

6 Bottles of various liquor including JWBlack;

1 Administrative Order from Chief Judge Gerald Weatherington advising Judges against confiscating beepers;

3 Robes coloured Green, Blue and Orange with the label "Property of Judge Alfred Nesbitt"

And so on....

Advertisement: Today's Code Brown was proudly sponsored by your local hot-dog vendor. The next time you are stuck outside of the REGJB remember to visit your favorite hot dog vendor and enjoy a refreshing beverage while enjoying your favorite snack.

BREAKING THURSDAY MORNING 10:AM ish.

THERE IS A CODE BROWN AT THE REGJB

THE BUILDING IS SHUT DOWN.

Code Brown means either Judge Brown is handling a calendar OR

A SERIOUS SECURITY BREACH.

Rumor has it that the security screeners let in a person with a firearm.

The Firearm was in a purse.

Security did however properly stop several people who were wearing belts.

THE CLERK SAYS "NO!"

THURSDAY MORNING UPDATE: A 4-1 SPY REPORT*

Anonymous said...

Rump, you are missing the big story of the week. ASA Richard Scruggs is being humiliated in courtroom 4-1. Armando Codina repeatedly accused him of lying. This trial is about a lot more than Michelle Spence Jones. The real story is Scruggs. I doubt he survives this debacle if she is acquitted. I see a JOA on the horizon followed by demands for an investigation, etc.

Thursday, March 10, 2011 6:58:00 AM

NO SOUP (and pleadings) FOR YOU!

Reports are trickling in that the Dade County Clerk's Office ("Motto: "We'll be with you in a minute.") is no longer accepting pleadings on behalf of the State Attorneys Office. Apparently that box that they put the pleadings in has cracked and there is no money in the budget to replace it. Additionally, the United States Postal Service has frowned on the Clerks "disenfranchising" postal workers from "the swift completion of their appointed rounds." In any event, you no longer need three copies when you go to the clerk's office as they will not accept pleadings for the State.

So there.

THIEF ON THE LOOSE:

There is a thief on the loose in the criminal courthouse. As hard as it is to believe, there is a nefarious thief preying on the unattended I-Phones of attorneys who set their phones down for a moment while in court or while in the clerk's office.

Many I-Phones have been stolen in the last few weeks, and the Miami -Dade Police Department has a Public Service Aide on the case, taking statements and issuing the all important case numbers for victims.

You have been warned.

MIAMI HEAT.......

The Heat have suddenly become the Dolphins, unable to win a game at home. Rony Seikaly, where are you when we need you? Miami turns its lonely eyes to you.

Charlie Sheen may accept an appointment as a mediator in the crisis in Wisconsin.

Winning!

See You In Court.

* We use the term "Spy Report" in honor of the Late Neil Rodgers who would have celebrated his 34th year on radio March 1, 2011.

PROFILES IN COURAGE

We submit to you Broward ASA Anita White.

(Hat tip to Broward Beat- the title of the post links to the Sun Sentinel Article.)

Faced with a Governor who wants to balance the budget on the backs of poor state employees, Ms. White took a day off from work, drove to Tallahassee (at $3.60 a gallon for gas) and testified before the Governmental Oversight and Accountability Committee. She received a standing ovation for this:

I drove eight hours. This is very important to me and all of my colleagues.

My name is Anita White and I am a prosecutor with the State Attorney’s Office of Broward County.

I’m here representing myself, but I’m also here because I have paralegals, secretaries and people who work with me who cannot afford even one percent being taken out of their pay to go to
their retirement.

We were made promises when we signed on with the state.

I was promised that I would have my Bar dues paid. This is now gone.

I was promised that I would get health insurance. Now I’m being forced togive money to that.

I was promised that I would have life insurance at twice my pay. And then I was told last year that my life is only worth $25,000 and I had to purchase additional life insurance.

So in one year, I have already received three pay cuts. Three!

And you’re asking me to take another. And you’re asking
people who make less than I do to take another.

I do what I do — I’m a Career Criminal prosecutor, I spent three years as a sex-crimes prosecutor — I do it for love. I use my personal resources because I love what I do.

I do it day and night, on the weekends. I come in. I meet with victims after hours so that they don’t have to be inconvenienced.

But nobody cares about inconveniencing us. Nobody cares that we
have to take second jobs. Nobody knows about that because we are being portrayed as villains.

We have no union, we have no one to speak up for us. And that is why I am here, to speak up for us.

It is wrong…the way you frame things, the words you use are important.

People call it fairness…and they call it a contribution. I call it what it is, it is a tax.

Thank you.

Rumpole says: BRAVO ASA White! Take a bow.

WILL

WILL

by Elia Wheeler Wilcox, 1917.

There is no chance, no destiny, no fate,
Can circumvent or hinder or control
The firm resolve of a determined soul.
Gifts count for nothing; will alone is great;
All things give way before it, soon or late.
What obstacle can stay the mighty force
Of the sea-seeking river in its course,
Or cause the ascending orb of day to wait?

Each well-born soul must win what it deserves.
Let the fool prate of luck. The fortunate
Is he whose earnest purpose never swerves,
Whose slightest action or inaction serve.
The one great aim.
Why, even Death stands still,
And waits an hour sometimes for such a will.

Good Monday morning!

As you head out to do battle with the force of evil, we thought that instead of your morning triple cafe double-caffeinated whathaveyou at Starbucks, we would give you something to fortify your soul that is a little longer lasting and more meaningful than caffeine.

Enjoy.

Now go do something good.

See You In Court.

HEAT LOSE AGAIN.

PS. Sorry to start off a Monday on bad news, but the Heat lost their fourth in a row Sunday night, as the Chicago Bulls swept the Heat 3-0 in the season series. The Heat have now sunk to third place in the eastern division, one game in front of the fading Heat. "We have guys who can close," Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau said. And Miami doesn't.

BREAKING SATURDAY NEWS: One of Charlie Sheen's two "goddesses" has "left the building" as per a late night Tweet. Events are fluid in California and in Tripoli and we are monitoring both for you.

Friday's Investiture of Judge Michaelle Gonzalez Paulson:

An eyewitness to history writes:

Anonymous said...

Today's investiture of Michaelle Gonzalez Paulson was very simple and emotional. It was not a sesquipedalian ceremony (to use Rumpole's word) but a very heartfelt and down to earth event. Michaelle will make a great judge.

Friday, March 04, 2011 10:10:00 PM

Rumpole says: And you were there-at the beginning of it all. Save that ticket stub.

UHHO- First Jeopardy and now document review- computers begin to replace lawyers: The NY Times Article is here:

When five television studios became entangled in a Justice Department antitrust lawsuit against CBS, the cost was immense. As part of the obscure task of “discovery” — providing documents relevant to a lawsuit — the studios examined six million documents at a cost of more than $2.2 million, much of it to pay for a platoon of lawyers and paralegals who worked for months at high hourly rates. (Rumpole reminisces: Ah. the good old days.)

But that was in 1978. Now, thanks to advances in artificial intelligence, “e-discovery” software can analyze documents in a fraction of the time for a fraction of the cost. In January, for example, Blackstone Discovery of Palo Alto, Calif., helped analyze 1.5 million documents for less than $100,000.

Then the computer pounces, so to speak, capturing “digital anomalies” that white-collar criminals often create in trying to hide their activities.

For example, it finds “call me” moments — those incidents when an employee decides to hide a particular action by having a private conversation. This usually involves switching media, perhaps from an e-mail conversation to instant messaging, telephone or even a face-to-face encounter.

Rumpole remembers: We once told a judge that sentencing involved more than being a calculator to arrive at the maximum possible sentence. They were not amused.

Lots to ponder. Will the day of Judge Gonalez-Paulson's investiture also be remembered for the day it all began to come crashing down for Charlie Sheen? Can Charlie be satisfied with just one "Goddess"? (We couldn't.)

Will Judge Brown be the next to be replaced with a computer?

All this and more will be addressed next week, on your favourite legal blog.

Enjoy your weekend.

MR. IRRELEVANT (RC)

FRIDAY MORNING UPDATE:

"We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection."

Rumpole talking to Silent Charlie or a certain sesquipedalian Judge? Nope. Rumpole talking to most anyone who wears a black robe? Nope.

It was 150 years ago today that the 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln, closed with those words in his first inaugural address. The Civil War started soon thereafter.

First a shout-out to our gracious hosts in the 9th Circuit. What a wonderful place to practice. And the law ain't bad out there either.

Next- South Florida has two good posts- DOM's motion for Buju for a new trial (rule 33) and motion for judgment of acquittal (rule 29) which....lets see...carry the 3....is a rule 64 motion! Courtesy of SoFla, here is the link to the motion.

South Florida also reports on the meltdown of George Yoss's law firm. Rent and partners not being paid amounts to bad publicity. And with no money at the State for the SAO to re-hire the former chief assistant, times look tough. But just remember- "tough times don't last- tough people do."

No verdict in the Spence-Jones trial. Rest assured we will be within the top 100 to report it.

Speaking of speed, this Twitter thing is really great. Up to the moment info on what we're thinking and reading. The links to the articles are a nice way of sharing interesting articles.

And for the person who asked: CCP is none other than the wonderful princess of blogging. She owes us both a witty response, and a pic of her in thigh-high boots. Stay tuned.

Regional Counsel Update: Remember them? Well the deadline to file to become a Regional Counsel (appointed by the Governor) has passed and 173 applied in Broward and three in Dade including the current RC (Joseph George) , a person alleged to be a magistrate of some sort (Steve Lieberman) and some lawyer totally unknown to us named James Ermacora who applied in Dade and Broward just for the fun of it.

Sort of like the last guy drafted in the NFL: Mr. Irrelevant.

See You In Court.

WHO IS THE BEST YOU EVER SAW?

SPENCE-JONES TRIAL UPDATE: Judge Rosa Rodriguez denied a prosecution motion to recuse herself from the case (because as a PD before becoming a Judge she once called the SAO "a house of cards", or some such other ridiculous reason) and as the Herald reports, opening statements were given Monday. The trial continues today.

GADAFFI SECRET DEFENSE PLANS: In an interview with the BBC yesterday, Libyan lunatic Colonel Gadaffi inadvertently revealed his secret plans for defending his grip on power: Gadaffi will resort to the Three Stooges double eye poke.

We're not kidding: the interview is here:

"Col Gaddafi challenged those, including UK Prime Minister David Cameron, who have accused him of having money abroad, to produce evidence.

He said he would "put two fingers in their eye" "

Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said yesterday that the 300 million dollars in last defense budget he submitted to train us troops in the "one handed block of the eye poke" would now prove to be a wise expenditure of funds. Yuk, yuk, yuk.

Sometimes readers drive the bus:

Sam I am said...

Rumpole: Everyone hates lawyers... (hard not to when you have to count Thomas Jefferson, Abe Lincoln, Gandhi and Nelson Mandela amongst your ilk). But here's a question for you and your able readers: Who are the five most vile attorneys of the past 300 years? I'll take my answer off the air.

Monday, February 28, 2011 6:07:00 PM

Rumpole says: It's nice to remember that we actually practice an ancient and honourable profession. So lets turn the question a bit and also ask who are the five best attorneys you have ever seen or hear or read about? Have at it (best or worst or both)* and let us know who was the best and we'll post or Twitter some replies.

Speaking of Twitter, we broke the news today of the decision in Michigan v. Bryant about the Supreme Court doing away with the confrontation clause. The decision is an awful example of liberal activist judges like Roberts and Alito and Thomas creating by judicial fiat exceptions to the hearsay rule that are not in the Constitution and were not passed by Congress.

David Marcus has all the gory details on his blog. However, once again DOM celebrates the dissent of Judge Scalia and we remind DOM that in this matter Scalia's ox was not gored, so he stood on principle. However such is not always the case with Nino.

More on this case later this week.

Follow us on Twitter as the flow of ideas guaranteed to make you rich, thin and happy continues at an ever escalating pace (and not one of those REGJB escalators due for repair.)

See You In Court.

* If you have an axe to grind against a particular attorney who currently practices in the REGJB and want to label him or her the worst you ever saw, more than likely we will not post the comment, so don't bother or be prepared to sign your name and advocate why they should be included on the list.