FALSE CONFESSIONS AND WHAT NOT TO SAY AT SENTENCING

To our dear state court robed readers, please, in all seriousness, if you read anything this week, read this NY Times articles on False Confessions, here. It's too important a subject for a judge to not educate himself or herself on. The chances are that a case of this nature will cross a judge's docket and the chances are very high that if even half the judges of the REGJB read this article, they already have a case in front of them in which the confession is suspect at best.

This is not some defense attorney clap trap. False confessions are all too real. In a perfect world the State Attorney will have read this article and distributed it to her staff ....but that's in a perfect world. (And if our judicial readers need a laugh, scroll down to the federal sentencing bit.)

Check out Richard Hersch and Ben Kuehne on the Broward JAA Blog.

Loud mouth JETS and their blow-hard coach. We told you they would lose. Can't even win the home opener on MNF in their new stadium. Guess there's no "O" in Rex.

HOW NOT TO CONDUCT A FEDERAL SENTENCING:

You walk into Federal Court all set to conduct a sentencing hearing. Being well read on the law, you're prepared to argue to the Judge that the guidelines are merely advisory, and the mitigating factors under 18 USC 3553(a) are applicable to your client and support a downward variance or whatever it is that they call a departure over there these days.

And then you run into Judge Rudolph Runda (E.D WACKOVILLE) and your best laid plans go flying out the window as the Judge refers to your client's Mexican heritage, the immigration status of your client AND his wife AND (for some unknown reason) his sisters, the status of the law and the conditions of jails in several countries including Turkey, Malaysia and Thailand, AND repeated references to Hugo Chavez, Iranian Terrorists (we swear we are not making this up) AND Adolph Hitler's dog!!!

USA v. Figueroa.

Reversed and remanded for a new sentence before a new judge who resides on earth.

Rumpole practice tip for new judges: Avoid at all costs references to "You People" and "Those People" when sentencing an illegal immigrant to prison. You should also probably leave out any comparisons to Hitler and Hugo Chavez that might cross your mind while pronouncing sentence. Just a thought.

SISSELMAN v. STATE EX REL ARTHUR

What do sharp and experienced lawyers do when they're not in trial or taking depositions?

They challenge assumptions.

That's what PD David Sisselman is doing. He emailed us an analysis of the (in)famous Arthur case that is the basis for Arthur Hearings throughout the State. State v. Arthur, 390 So.2d 717 (Fla. 1980).

Submitted for our review, and yours, is this language, repeated twice throughout the opinion:

We answer the questions by holding, (1) that when a person accused of a capital offense or

an offense punishable by life imprisonment seeks release on bail, it is within the discretion

of the court to grant or deny bail when the proof of guilt is evident or the presumption great;

and, (2) that before the court can deny bail the state must have carried the burden of

establishing that the proof of guilt is evident or the presumption great. Id. Emphasis added.

...

We hold, therefore, that before release on bail pending trial can ever be denied,

the state must come forward with a showing that the proof of guilt is evident or the

presumption is great. 390 So.2d at 720.

Emphasis added.

At issue before the Court Of Rumpole, and submitted for your consideration,

discussion and review, is Mr. Sisselman's argument that the current system in Dade is unconstitutional

and contravenes the case law of our dear Supreme Court.

Because in Dade County, under the Reign Of Farina, Defendants arrested on Capital or Life Felonies

are held UNTIL Arthur hearings are scheduled. Whereas in the Arthur opinion, the court TWICE

used the word BEFORE as a modifier as to when a Defendant can be held without bond.

What used to occur is that upon arrest, a defendant would engage a defense attorney who would

immediately schedule an Arthur hearing (remember when Fred Nesbitt, the scourge of prosecutors,

would sit as the Arthur hearing Judge, resplendent in his blue robe? Rest In Peace, Judge.)

But during the Reign of Farina, the criminal court Judges conspired, combined, and confederated to

deny a defendant an Arthur hearing until AFTER the State filed charges, some 20-30 days later.

That policy in turn created the ability of nefarious police officers to automatically get a 20-30 day

hold on a defendant by arresting him or her on a life felony, even when the facts didn't support it.

We've all seen it.

At one point do we as criminal defense attorneys seek to enforce the law and not make life easier

for judges and prosecutors who cry "judicial economy" while our clients sit in jail without a bond hearing?

Maybe one of them should sit in jail for 30 days on baseless charges without a hearing so they can see how

unfair it is.

There isn't one of us whose life would not be severely impacted if we were taken from our work and family

and thrown in a jail cell for a month with no recourse.

Rumpole gives Mr. Sisselman a hearty "WELL DONE" for doing what criminal defense attorneys are

supposed to do: challenge authority and assumptions and give no ground in defense of a client.

See You In Court.

BROWARD PDS HAVE A BRADY ROOM FOR BAD

COP FILES.

The Herald reports on the fracas between the SAO and the PDs in Broward here.

BUSY MONDAY

Was it us or was the REGJB hopping this morning?

And a quick check amongst judges and Pds showed that next week is even busier.

Summer is over folks.

Arthur hearings.....An enterprising PD was perusing Arthur the other day and came upon something so simple, yet fairly startling. Then he sent us an email. Get out your case law folks....more on this soon.

Football: Lets say you were being held hostage by the Iranians but were released yesterday and landed home today and still want to get into the suicide pool. You can do it! 2 games, 4 teams for MNF. Make your selection now to blogpool21 at gmail.com.

Stinkin Cowpokes cost us 55 to end the weekend. We're 3-1 in picks and +345 in Newmans for week one.

We love, just love the purple birds tonight. The Ravens will fly in New Jersey. But one small dilemma: we got involved in an exotic pre-season prop bet that requires us to root for Tubby and his stupid J..E..T...S. So we're skipping the early game, although just once we hope Ray Lewis hits Mark Sanchez so hard that he wishes his mother never met his father.

See You in court.

NFL WEEK ONE SUNDAY 2010

SUNDAY NIGHT UPDATE: We're 3 for 3 starting the season, +400 DOMs ( We won the Saints/Vikings and Dolphins/Bills under for 100 each, and the Patriots -13, for 200. Just barely squeaked that one out. Whew.) Speaking of DOM, he pushed in his first game with us, so the standings are Rumpole 1-0; DOM 0-0-1. It's a long season.

Suicide pool: Mark Vargo (Eagles- our heart was with you) and Foot Ball (49'ers) are out of the suicide pool, getting the dreaded week one knock out. We survived, although the Giants gave us a scare. Cary Clennon survived with Da Bears, but the Lions were robbed. That was clearly a TD catch. And Mr. Immasche squeaked by with the Bucs, and that puts him in good position for the rest of the year because the Bucs are arguably the worst team in football.

COWPOKES- REDSKINS: The smart play is to collect our wins and see you next week. Washington is another home dog getting 3.5. Even we've been impressed with the Cowpokes, but there is trouble on the range. Their offensive line is in shambles, and it looked it in pre-season. The number is 40, and we're trending towards under. We also like the line with the Cowpokes, but it just galls us to put our money on the second worst coach in football. Vanilla Phillips. He stinks. What to do...What to do? Maybe we'll be back by 8 with a pick.

What the hell.....Cowpokes -3.5 for 50.

UPDATE: We've been caught. And now we have to admit our guilt. You all know how diligent Mr. Markus is. And he thinks we've been monkeying with the line. And we have to admit he has caught us. We said the line was Patriots -5. This is the game we are betting against Mr. Markus. And he complained. And he's right. So we're changing it to Patriots -20. Hahahahahahahahaha.

(Cheaters are up 31-10 as we write this.)

Here we go. What you all have been waiting for since that Super Bowl Sunday in February.

First off, our lines come from here.

This is as difficult a week as we have ever seen. Almost every favourite is on the road, so home dogs are barking loudly. Personally, we might just put a nickel on every home dog and see where we end up. But for the blog we offer these picks for your consideration:

Our hometown Fins travel to Buffalo, land of wings and not much else. The Fins are 3 point favorites on the road, but we like the under 39 for 100 Henne's. Buffalo's QBs ain't scaring anyone, and the Fins will be looking to control the game and the clock with the superior running game. Miami 21- Buffalo 16.

MARKUS MATCHUP: Here's the deal- we each pick one game each week. Loser sings Rule Britannia at noon at the flag in front of the federal courthouse wearing only skivvies and a Fred Moreno mask at the end of the season.

David picked the Tampa Bay Bucs -3 over the Cleveland Browns.

Rumpole is tempted to go the other way, just to teach him a lesson. But we'll pick the Patriots -5 over the Bungles in NE for 200 Rule 29's.

What else do we like? We like the Steelers at home getting a rare 1.5 points; the Lions to roar in Chi-town +7. We're not offering those as official plays, just games we like. As we have said, this is a tough week, and our goal is to just get through it.

Suicide pool- everyones picks are up yesterday except for these new ones. We have 23 players total. Rick Freedman, last years champ, has not yet sent in his pick.

Rumpole: Giants; Cary Clennon: Bears; Mark Vargo: Eagles; Petter Sautter: Giants; Stephen Immasche: Bucs; Ken Wesiman et.al.,: Giants; Foot Ball: 49ers; 52nd Street Irwin: Titans.

SATURDAY LEGAL SEMINAR

Good Saturday morning. Today is September 11 and that is a day this country will not soon forget. The NY Times reports that one family of a man killed on one of the flights remains as a holdout, rejecting all settlement offers and seeking a trial as a way of exposing who was at fault among the airline and security companies.

The article quotes several experts opining that lawsuits are not a good way of finding out facts. What say you? If your brother was a passenger on one of the flights, and your goal was not money but finding out what occurred, would you insist on a trial?

College football is in full swing today. The Canes play Ohio State today and this will be a good early test. If the Canes can win in Ohio today, they will be in the mix for a bowl game this year.

There is a free legal seminar today at the Miami Shores Recreation Complex. The flyer is here.

10:00 AM to 2:00 PM during which Judges of the 11th Circuit will field questions on Dissolution Of Marriages, Drive Legal, Foreclosures, Small Claims. Hopefully there will be a few lawyers in attendance who can answer the questions.

Football troubles: Almost every home team is an underdog this week, and you will go broke quickly in this business taking road favourites and laying points. However, we are working through the problem and will have our picks up later.

Suicide Pool: Colby survives week one and has ten days to consider his second pick.

Michael Feiler, Marshall Dore Louis, and Memon all have taken the Fins on the road over the Bills.

Miguel De La Over , Nick Basso, and Plea D, Fake Blecher and 52nd Street Irwin all have the Titans at home over the Raiders

Michael Grieco has the Bucs and Markus has the Giants.

Fake Alex Michaels has the Patriots over the Bengals. That will probably be Rumpole's pick as well, although we really like the Ravens over the Jets in New Jersey.

More later.

LURVEY AND PORTA TO THE RESCUE

How many people does it take to rescue a kitten?

Two lawyers, one FHP Trooper, and one good samaritan tow truck driver.

Check out the video of REGJB regulars Dan Lurvey and Bo Porta rescuing a kitten that somehow ran up into Lurvey's car engine when he stopped at an intersection.

The video is here.

Well done gentleman. Dan needs to take the catnip out of the catalytic converter.

PD Economic woes make the NY Times.

Silent Charlie and Jay Kolsky (the hardest working man in the REGJB) aren't the only PDs trying to refuse appointments because of caseloads and money.

The article is here.

+100. That's how we're starting the season with a nice under win on the Thursday night game. Assuming Mr. Markus has followed through on his much publicized plan to merely bet the other way on our picks, he's down a 100 rule 29s.

NFL WEEK ONE 2010

Here it is at last- the opening Thursday night football game of the 2010 season. It seems like it was a long time ago when we were telling you to take the Saints and the money line over Indy. And for long time and careful blog readers, we have been winners- big winners- two out of three years. Last year was a tough one, but we recovered nicely in the playoffs.

Tonight the Super Bowl Champion New Orleans Saints host the Vikings. The Saints eked out a win in the NFC Championship game over the Vikes, and while the feel good pick is the Saints, something tells us this game has a Purple Hue to it.

(SUICIDE POOL UPDATE: one player has picked the Saints tonight- former Judge Jonathan Colby -or somebody that has his email address-. Four players have the Fins on Sunday and at least two have Tennessee. Mr. Markus has the Giants.)

The last two games these teams played, in 2010 and 2008 were decided by a field goal, with the Vikes winning in 08 and of course the Saints going to the big party in 2010. In both games the total points was over 50, and you have to be thinking scoring when Favre and Brees are on the field.

For those of you who carefully follow our picks, you know that our strength is in September, when we identify trends the general public doesn't see, and we ride them to mucho dinero.

This year we are looking closely at the Raiders and the Lions as teams that may do better than expected. We are also watching the JETS as an overhyped green mess. The fact that their coach is a tubby blow-hard makes it easier to pick against them.

There are no trends in this game. Perhaps Minnesota is poised for a let down season- with Favre finally feeling his age; so that might be something to watch. In the last few Thursday night openers, the Super Bowl Champ has won but not covered. And this trend goes back to opening night 2006 when our Fins almost nipped the Steelers after they won the SB in 2005.

The opening line was Saints -5.5 and 51 as a total. The line has stayed static through the week, but the O/U has trended downward and you can get 49.5 if you like the over. (Mr. Markus thinks our lines are hinky, so here is the Vegas site we are using tonight.)

There's nothing about this game we love, but we feel compelled to pick opening night. So.....

We like the under 49.5. And if forced, we like the Vikes, no points, +200 (means you bet 100 coconuts and if the Vikes win, you get 200 coconuts in return. ) However the the Vikes are without top WR Sydney Rice, and they traded for Dolphin WR Greg Camarillo, who will not make anyone forget Rice. So while the fun play is the Vikes money line, our pick is under for 100 Favres. The Saints have a terrific defense, especially in the secondary where Tracy Porter and Jabari Greer (who may be the two best in the NFC) will have an easier night now that Rice is out. With Rice out and Favre missing training camp, the Vikes will look to run, especially since Adrian Peterson is their best offensive player.

The Saints were a team of destiny last year, and teams of destiny rarely repeat, although the Saints return all 11 starters on offense, which is a telling stat on a team looking to repeat. Between these two teams the Saints are on the upswing while the Vikes- who were the better team last January- have pinned their hopes to a cranky and aging QB who is one good sack away from hanging it up. The Saints may well return to the SB this year, (although it pains us to acknowledge that the Cowpokes are a legitimate contender) while the Vikings will almost assuredly not.

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?

BIG WIN FOR BILL ALTFIELD

BREAKING NEWS: Sorry to rain on Bill Altfield's parade, but this just in: Mr. Pretty Boy, the QB for the cheaters, was involved in a 2 car accident at 5am this morning and had to be removed by the jaws of life from the vehicle. He is reported to be ok and not needing hospitalization. We can only hope this car accident does for him, what Tiger's did to his career.

Remember the NFL STARTS TONIGHT. If you want the Saints or the Vikes in the suicide pool, you need to email blogpool21 at gmail.com before the start of the game.

As the Herald reports today (the title of the post links to the article)

ASA Bill Altfield was successful in obtaining a conviction of two former Miami Dade Detectives who were accused of shaking down drug dealers.

The two former cops were represented by Richard Sharpstein and Doug Hartman and their clients were convicted of various crimes including agg assault, burglary, and official misconduct.

This is a BIG win for the prosecution as the offer before trial was to drop charges in exchange for the officers surrendering their police certifications. The defendants brazenly rejected that offer, and they are now incarcerated and convicted felons. Only one of the two defendants was convicted of agg assault, so we are guessing only one of them is facing a mandatory prison sentence.

The SAO's public corruption unit is often considered a second tier unit when compared to the Feds. And of course without depos, it is often easier to proceed against defendants in federal court (except when yours truly is retained.) But this is not a fair characterization.

The SAO's public corruption unit takes the tough cases the feds won't touch. And they work hard and fight the good fight against bad cops and certain loud criminal defense attorneys who are always ready with a smart quip after a win. As we often say, "The Fox fears not the man who boasts by night, but the man who rises early in the morn."

This win is a great win for the Dade SAO, and it's no surprise that Bill Altfield was the prosecutor leading charge. He is one of the good guys.

See You In Court.

FOOTBALL 2010 CONTINUED

REMEMBER TO EMAIL YOUR SUICIDE PICKS TO BLOGPOOL21 @ GMAIL.COM.

RICK FREEDMAN IS OUR DEFENDING CHAMP, AND HE'S TALKING SMACK.

We continue our preview of the 2010 football season with a look at the AFC West and AFC South.

AFC SOUTH.

1. Colts.

2. Titans.

3. Texans.

4. Jags.

Lets work backwards. The Jags are a team in disarray. End of story.

The Texans are a victim of last year's success. With a tougher schedule and Peyton Manning in their division, we don't see them having the mettle to make the next tough step forward.

The Titans are simply the best coached team in the league. You can never count out a Jeff Fisher coached team. And Vince Young is solidly entrenched at QB. What does that mean? Check out the running stats of Chris Johnson last year when Collins was the QB versus when Young took over. Because Young is a running threat, the defensive ends cannot pinch down and stuff the run. They have to hold their lanes during the play action in case Young runs a boot leg. That opens up the interior of the line and allows Johnson to rumble into the secondary, which he did last year for 2000+ yards. The problem for the Titans is that they have a weak pass defense , and that is a disaster waiting to happen in a division that has Peyton Manning.

This is the Colts division to lose. Peyton Manning remains the best in the game and the Colts defense quietly finishes in the top 10 every year (last year they were 8th.) If the Ravens secondary breaks down and the Steelers can't overcome the loss of Big Bad Ben (emphasis on Bad until he shows us otherwise) the Colts should be heading back to the big game in Dallas.

AFC WEST: Chargers and the rest.

This is the Charger's division to lose, but not because they're so much better than the rest. As longtime and careful readers of this blog know, the Chargers are coached by the second worst coach in football: Norv Turner. (Vanilla Phillips of the Cowpokes being the worst)

In the draft the Chargers traded up to grab RB Ryan Matthews to replace LT who left for some green team in NY. With the running game on the shoulders of a rookie and a guy who couldn't see over the podium in any REGJB courtroom -Darren Sproles- the Chargers don't have much of a defense to help either. They finished 20th against the run in 2009 and the only additions in the pre-season have been a rookie LB and a new nose tackle. The reason the Chargers win this so-called division is that they have the best QB in the division (Rivers) and no other team is good enough to step up and take it away.

And here is the surprise of the division- the Raiders will finish second! Yes, those Oakland Raiders who have been in disarray for so long are finally poised to take a great leap. Their troubled QB is gone, replaced by a capable game manager- Jason Campbell.

Query- which team led the NFL is tackles for loss in 2009? The same team with arguably the best CB in the league and which starts LB Rolando McClain and D-lineman Lamarr Houston: The Oakland Raiders. Darren McFadden runs the rock, and there is a stable of able WRs to catch the pass. The Raiders win 8 games this year and have a shot at 10!

The Only reason the Denver Broncos are not in the cellar in this division is because the Chiefs are worse. But not by much. Second year head coach Josh McDaniels will quickly learn that a team needs a first round draft pick to make a contribution in year one. Tim Terrific will not do that in any meaningful way, and neither will their other 1st Rd pick- WR Thomas. The Broncos lost a top WR (Brandon Marshall, to the Fins) a LB (Andra Davis) and a D-lineman ( Kenny Peterson) and are trying to replace them with rookies (one with a broken foot- WR Demaryius Thomas). Good luck.

Another reason the Broncos won't be great: two words- Kyle Orton. Good luck with that as well.

The Broncos added Jarvis Green and Jamal Williams to the defensive-line, and they replaced linebacker Andra Davis with Akin Ayodele. Green has been a career backup that couldn't cut it in 2009 for New England, while Williams was roughed up by the Raiders last year and Ayodele is a cast off from the Fins. Last we heard, Tim Terrific doesn't play defense.

KC brings up the rear, and that's what happens when you draft worse than the Raiders year in and year out. They may have turned the corner with the last two drafts, but they are a raw, young team, and they have a murderous road schedule: Indy, Houston, Chargers, and Broncos. If they split their road games in Cleveland and St. Louis that will be a victory in and of itself. See you next year with the team with the best BBQ in the league.

1. Chargers.

2. Raiders.

3. Broncos

4. Chiefs.

SUICIDE IS PAINLESS

UHHO- MARKUS CALLS OUT RUMPOLE IN THE COMMENTS SECTION!!!!

UPDATE- A Defendant files a motion to recuse. The County Court Judge responds by giving the attorney the time to file the motion, and then sua sponte revokes and raises the defendant's bond. The same Judge goes nuts at a domestic violence calendar, and queries petitioners as to "who sent you here" and "who told you to file this petition".

Result: The Florida Supreme Court administers a Public Reprimand here on video. (sorry but you have to watch the 15 sec ad first). We encourage all judges to watch it. Because there but for the grace of the JQC go you and we are watching.......

Suicide is painless....But suicide pools are not.

The JBB SUICIDE POOL IS BACK. (C) HR enterprises 2010. All rights reserved.

AND BETTER THAN EVER.

You may be wondering if you are qualified to play.

Here are the qualifications: 1) You read the blog; 2) You like football. That's it.

Oh, one other thing.

NEW SUICIDE POOL RULE ALERT:

There is a special blog email address for your suicide pool pick-

Blogpool21 at gmail.com . You must send your suicide pool pick to that email address.

RULES:

1) You pick one team and one team only every week.

2) That team must win straight up for you to survive.

3) Once you use a team you can never use that team again.

4) Your email MUST be sent (time stamped) before the game. So if you are picking a team playing on Sunday at 1pm, the email must be time stamped by 12:59. If you miss the 1pm deadline, you can still pick a 4pm, 8pm, or MNF game if there is a team in one of those games you haven't chosen yet.

WHO WILL BE THIS YEAR'S GOAT? WHO GOES OUT FIRST? Rick Freedman went out first year one, and then rebounded to win (?) or finish second- we forget- the next year.

Clayton Kaiser is already in for week one, going purple with the Vikes.

No word on whether David O Markus with a K wants to go blog to blog on a challenge as to who can pick the most winners, five games a week, against the spread. He's running a bit scared, as most Harvarrrad guys do when you try and get them to commit to something.

See you in court, talking football.

LABOUR DAY

SCOTT SIMON, host, NPR:

On this Labor Day weekend, we might give some thought to what it's like to be without a job.

About one in every 10 Americans - 15 million, the population of New York, Los Angeles and Chicago combined - doesn't have a job. The Bureau of Labor Statistics say there are there million more who have just stopped looking for jobs after a year because they can't find one.

Having no job does not mean having no work. Your children must still be fed, bathed, and ferried to school, which is a lot of hard work. But you have less money for food, gas, and the new shoes your children need for school.

It means that if you have a toothache, you might pretend it will go away, until it becomes a sharp pain. Then you have to see a dentist, but may not be able to buy a new winter coat.

It means, as Halloween and the holiday season approach, that many good parents tell their children they just can't have some small toy or trinket that every other child seems to have. Or more likely, the parent will go without something else - again.

I talked to a man in Ohio this week who said he hadn't bought a stitch of new clothing in more than a year; his shirts were beginning to fray. So when he got his first job interview in months, he bought a new shirt so he wouldn't look tattered and defeated. And when he didn't get that job, he was ashamed that he'd bought a shirt instead of food for his family.

Having no job means that things people talk about these days -iPads, android phones, 3-D movies, new music, or meeting friends over $4 coffee drinks - are just beyond reach. You worry about getting dull, having nothing to talk about, and losing friends. You worry about life leaving you behind.

You may be sure that your family loves you, but worry that they'll start feeling sorry for you, and wonder why you have to be the one person in 10 who doesn't have a job. You may blame politicians, brokers and bankers, but in the middle of the night you might turn your eyes to the sky and wonder what you did, didn't do, or should have done.

Any one of us who's lucky enough to have a job today must worry about losing it. This Labor Day we might salute the millions of Americans who don't have jobs, but who in many ways work harder than ever.

FOOTBALL SUNDAY 2010

Welcome to our first Football sunday of 2010. Longtime and careful readers of the blog know that from now until Super Bowl Sunday, you can tune into some of the most insightful comments about the National Football League.

Let's get right to it.

AFC EAST.

Yes, the AFC east will be green this year. J...E....T....S.... the darlings of the media, picked far and wide to win the division and perhaps make the superbowl.....win NOT win the division. The hated NE Cheaters will win the division and that makes everyone else green with Envy.

1. NE Cheaters.

2A. JETS.

2B. Dolphins

4. Bills - only because there isn't a HS team in the division. If there was, the Bills might finish below them.

The Patriots are just too talented on offense. An aging defense makes them vulnerable, and we don't see them going deep in the playoffs. The intriguing pick here is that the JETS are just not as good as everyone thinks. They Fins have the better QB and the better running game. The JETS have a gaggle of great receivers who get even better when Super Bowl MVP Tone (as the Steeler fans called him) Holmes returns in October. And unlike his former QB who cannot step a foot on Steeler ground during his suspension, Holmes can work out with his team while he's suspended. The Jets have the better defense even without Revis, but this team's season just shouts "Sophomore Slump!!" They're very good, they're just not as good as they think they are. The JETS have a brutal opening schedule with the Ravens on MNF, followed by the Cheaters and then the Fins. How are they going to react if they get slugged in the face by the Ravens and toasted by the Pats and have their first road game here with an 0-2 record? We shall see.... Meanwhile if Chad Henne plays solid and makes no mistakes and lets his running game open up the passing game to Brandon Marshall, the Dolphins could surprise a lot of people and be a solid wild card entry into the playoffs.

The Bills- a great 1st RD pick in RB C.J. Spiller. He will be a top RB for years to come, and he makes an immediate impact on special teams as well. With some O-linemen in the future and a new QB, they could be laying the foundation for something great. Just not this year.

AFC NORTH

1. Ravens

2. Steelers

3. Bungles

4. Frowns.

This division is solidly Raven purple. The division and the entire AFC is theirs to lose. That's a lot of pressure for a team whose secondary is in disarray with Ed Reed out and a few cornerbacks hurting. But they have a great ground game (So much for the vaunted Steeler scouting department who had a chance to draft Ray Rice two years ago, but passed) and the additions of Boldin, Stallworth and Mason at WR gives them a dimension they've never had. The Steelers are an intriguing team. Will they rally around the loss of their QB and have a tenacious defense and re-establish their running game? Last year they lost both Palomalu and DE Aaron Smith on defense and never recovered. This year both have looked back to top form in pre-season. If the Steelers come out of Ben's suspension 2-2 then they are in the thick of it. If they come out of it 3-1, watch out. Their first game is at home against the Falcons. Watch this game for a primer on the rest of the year. If their D shuts down the pass and they can run, you might be seeing a Black-n-Gold super bowl. Again.

The Bengals are in the running for the best defense in the league. They're that good. One division may have the top three Ds in the NFL. But we think the Bungles have serious problems on offense and they can't run with the rest of the division. The Steelers and the Ravens are capable of putting up 35 on anyone. The Bengals don't have that capability.

The Browns :( See the Bills above.

Coming next: AFC South and AFC West and then the NFC next week.

What about Rumpole's famous suicide pool? What about it?