BREAKING JURY TRIALS SUSPENDED
Good morning,I have attached our most recent statistics on positivity rates, emergency room visits and hospitalizations. Due to the recent increase in positivity rate and the upcoming holidays I am suspending all jury trials set from now until February 1. All other court proceedings shall continue as set and any jury trials set after January 31 need not be rescheduled. I will continue to monitor the statistics and keep you posted.Chief Judge Soto
SURVIVOR POOL CHAMP
Our award winning Survivor pool came to an end this weekend. In Third Place was everyone's favourite federal blogger and podcaster (you can download his podcasts here) David Markus. He went out two weeks ago when the Vikes let him down.
This weekend was a matchup between Michael Feiler, who has won this before, and Dustin Tischler. Both long time players and blog irregulars. Tischler was feeling good with the Seahawks over the Giants while Feiler was sweating out the Vikes who were taken to overtime by the upstart Jax Jaguars. It looked like we may have one of those unfortunate situations where both players lose and then we have to a Georgia-Like recount with lawsuits and recriminations when the Giants upset the Seahawks and Tischler was down to rooting for the Jags in OT. But the Vikes survived and your NEW JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG SURVIVOR POOL CHAMPION IS MICHAEL FEILER WHO IS NOW ALSO THE ONLY TWO TIME CHAMP.
There is something vaguely disturbing about a civil lawyer winning our survivor pool twice. Maybe he wasn't paying as much attention as he should have to those motions for summary judgment. See you in post-vaccine August 2021, when we can all attend Fins games again.
SIGNS SIGNS
Business brought us downtown recently and we found ourselves perambulating in the area near the REGJB. So we took a detour. The word that springs to mind-oft overused these days - is dystopian. The streets are near empty. Parking spots plentiful. A few brave souls scurrying about with masks and fearful looks.
The back of our beloved REGJB was sealed tight. Gone are the days of long lines and disgruntled lawyers who forgot their ID cards looking for a shorter wait by using the back entrance. Nary a hot dog seller in sight.
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| Perhaps a sadder sight we may never see on a week day in Miami |
This being County Government, the closure of the REGJB was of course the correct time to add this large warning signing telling non-existent entrants what they cannot bring into the now closed courthouse.
You cannot bring in handcuff keys, but apparently you can bring in handcuffs.
You cannot bring in metal utensils. It's chopsticks at dawn in Au Bon Pain.
You cannot bring in tools. You can however call your opponent in court a tool.
Laser pointers- the tools of the trade for trial lawyers pointing to a flaw in a crime scene photo are now banned. Back to forefingers and long sticks.
Query: Rumpole's most feared tool is his rapier like wit- used to destroy witnesses and prosecutors during trial. Are we prevented from using the smart remarks that have sent generations of prosecutors slinking back to their offices muttering under their breath?
And finally, the list prohibits "oversized belt buckles". Why? And what constitutes "oversized'?
We imagine this scene at security:
"Hey you- stop! Yeah, you with the thermo-nuclear weapon. Come here. We need to check the size of your belt buckle. Hmmmm...14 inches by 16 inches. Hang on....hey Stan! What's the new memo on oversized belt buckles say? Was the cut off 12 or 15 inches? "
More signs that the Apocalypse is upon us.
Fans of the great Walking Dead series know that the zombies are called "Walkers". Thus this sign caused us to stop when we were taking our daily run:
Truth is stranger than fiction.
10 comments:
Thanks for doing the Survivor Pool again this year. Always fun.
See Texas for too big.
I do not concede. I won. In fact, the Kraken will be filing lawsuits in a number of different locations challenging these results. We will be holding a press conference at the Four Seasons immediately following our suits. And you should know that Texas is going to be suing as well, declaring us the winner of the Survivor Pool.
Truth is stranger than fiction. I agree.
The best thing about Texas suing other states, not that I have to tell you, is that the Supreme Court has ORIGINAL jurisdiction. They hear the case. I hope one of the states hires Alex Michaels to try the case.
Then I think all appellate issues are sent to the Miami Dade Judges sitting in South Dade and Hialeah.
Rump, you have that wonderful countdown available to you on the front page. Please put it to good use. Either a Biden inauguration countdown or a Rosy Aponte takes the bench countdown.
Sincerely
Fake Judge Elekt Rosy Aponte. (the other Fake Rosy)
P.S.- I got out of the Fake Rosy game while the gettin' was good. The Fake Rosy positing now jumped the shark.
I accept dis election results are bullsheeet
Everyones pleases remembers that I myself will be holding jury trials in the parking lot 26 starting January 2, 2020 as me being the circiut court judustice that inacts me to cinduts trials even those ohter judges do not do so.
Its times we think covdily diferneces to meet out justices needs witch is why I was lected judge.
I think that the humor of the Rosy parodies in the comments section is fair game, but others think I'm being way to mean to her (Joe Klock). I'm not sure some of these critics understand that I do not write the comments in the comments section. I think a counter on the front page that advertises it in that manner does cross a line and I'm not going to do it. I think its an utter travesty that someone so unprepared and who has led an undistinguished legal career beat a very experienced judge. But the election is over and I do hope she rises to the occasion and becomes a good judge. Lord knows we have too few of those. My guess - but I have no idea- is that they will hide her in juvie- so I won't see her at all. I don't even know how to get into the Juvie courthouse and have a vague idea it's downtown near the city police department.
I once sat at a table in the courthouse several years ago and a group of judges were discussing the blog and the things they liked and didn't like and one said something like "I can't believe the nasty stuff rumpole writes in the comments section. His posts are ok but he writes mean comments" it was all I could do to remain quiet and not shout that I DO NOT WRITE THE COMMENTS other than those under my name.
Rumpole: I understand that you view Judge Tunis as an experienced judge, which she is. I remember her as a considerate, thoughtful county judge, who just went over the rail as a circuit judge. She had no respect for defendants that I could see and would not allow lawyers to make arguments.
I understand that you do not think that Rosy Aponte is qualified to be a circuit judge. I did not even know her until I got involved in a case that she had picked up which was a sure loser. Due to her diligence and her refusal to quit, she secured a hefty settlement for a young man with a family who had been screwed over by the EEOC which has changed dates on a letter after they had given it to him. He needed the money, and he had been injured. She asked me to help him with discovery responses and I watched as she diligently prosecuted that case.
No matter what your view of her, she did not deserve to be pilloried by her "betters" over a period of months in a style that I think was more suitable for a high school sophomore than presumably a skilled senior litigator.
I think Judge Tunis is an experienced judge. I also think she has no compassion or judicial temperament. I believe that Judge Aponte will do an excellent job, and by the way, the children in Juvi frequently are in the chambers of last resort. They need good, caring judges. Anyone who thinks that Rosy Aponte is stupid or incompetent had better not go into her court unprepared or unconcerned about their clients. They will learn an important lesson in life in front of a young woman who cares and will not throw away a young life if there is a way of saving it and protecting society. She joins some really fine people who stay in that court even though it makes elections tougher and isn't very popular at professional cocktail parties. I will take an Orlando Prescott or Dawn Denaro any day over a Dava Tunis. I believe that Rosy Aponte will live up to the reputation of the fine judges who serve over there.
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