WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. THIS BLOG HAS BEEN CALLED "THE DEFINITIVE BLOG ON MIAMI CRIMINAL LAW" BY THE NY TIMES, THE WASHINGTON POST, THE POPE, AND DONALD TRUMP WHO ALSO ONCE SAID IT WAS "REALLY GREAT". POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

TODAY IS....



The start of Hurricane season.

Where were you August 24, 1992?

It's never too early to prepare, and in that regard we present to our own Rumpole's Hurricane Preparedness List ( (c) Rumpole 2012, all rights reserved.)

A hurricane does not have to be a dreary experience. Indeed, hurricanes can be FUN!

You need to have a list of things to do to be prepared for a hurricane. But fear not, we have done that for you. So when a hurricane approaches, just follow these few easy steps:

1) Check the blog for this list.
2) Have 2 gallons of water per person/per day in a plastic jug.
3) Have three cans of tuna fish per person/per day and one working flashlight.
4) Have a can opener.
5) Keep your cell phone charged.
6) Have a bottle of rum, tequila, bourbon or scotch handy.
7) Tune to channel 7. When you see videos looped continuously of lines of elderly abuela's hitting each other for a piece of plywood at the Home Depot on SW 8th street, immediately do the following:

a) Open the liquor of your choice and take a drink.
b) Use your cell phone and call the airlines and book a flight to NYC, Chicago, Montreal, or (our favourite) London. Then book a room at the Four Seasons.
c) Bring the water, flashlight. and cans of tuna to your neighbor and wish them well.
d) Go to the airport. Fly away. Check into the Four Seasons. Order room service.
e) Laugh at the poor schlubs stuck in Miami in the middle of August with no AC.
f) Have another drink and schedule a massage.

You see, following our easy steps, surviving a hurricane is simple, easy and fun.

See You In Court.

mqc/gk

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

August 5th?

"Andrew stuck Dade county on August 24th as a Category 5 hurricane, with the center first reaching the coast at the northern tip of Elliott Key."

Anonymous said...

5th?
I think you mean 25th. or 24th.

Rumpole said...

Huh?

Rumpole said...

I don't publish information where lawyers live. Even famous lawyers who pay 7.5 million cash for a home. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

I just noticed that today marked the 95th anniversary of Louis Brandeis' appointment to the Supreme Court. How do you think someone like Brandeis (brilliant liberal) would fare in today's United States Senate? It's kind of sad to think that someone with his accomplishments and qualifications is almost certainly unconfirmable in today's political climate.

Anonymous said...

who is mqc/gk? or gm? or gcc?

#22 said...

Special Ed is getting the band back together.

His new bailiff? None other than Dolphin great, Tony Nathan.

Anonymous said...

Where was I? I was in my house watching the rain fall inside through my absent roof.

New Hurricane preparedness plan:

1. Close shutters

2. Empty refrigerator and freezer

3. Turn off power

4. Pack bag with 2 weeks of clothing

5. Give a neighbor your cell phone number

6. Get in your car and drive somewhere that the storm is not going. (Best prediction)

7. Stay at your destination until your neighbor calls and tells you the power is back on.

8. Come home and if there is damage call Citizens and wait 4 or 5 years for payout.

Anonymous said...

What is the over/under on the number of days the courthouse is closed this year for hurricanes that never actually come?

I happen to love hurricane season.
Some of my favorite things to look forward to.

Newscasts that for no reason whip people into a frenzy.

A run on water at Publix.

Weather people standing outside during high winds while telling us not to do this. As if their years of meteorological (sp?) training will prepare then to dodge a cow being blown around in a storm.

Not boarding up my windows, which causes my downstairs neighbor to panic all the more, for fear that my place will flood into his. I just shrug my shoulders and say its all insured. (actually it isnt, I cant afford windstorm and flood insurance.)

Anonymous said...

I loved it when that jerk weather guy Brian Norcross told us to run out and buy batteries when he was being paid big bucks by Home Depot just to scare us.

Remember those photos of the cancelled checks?

the trialmaster said...

the TRIALMASTER gets in his expensive foreign car with a case of fine red wind and travels to the Ritz in Orlando. He stays there until all the nonsense in Miami settles down. He may rent a townhouse in Cedar Key on the gulf if he gets bored at the Ritz.

Anonymous said...

Why didn't you publish my rant about cheap, average miami attorneys?

Anonymous said...

Close my shutters and get gas for y generator. Make sure lots of dog food, beer, rum and coke-cola. All else I have already. We are prepared. Big Deal Have seen and lived through canes through-out my whole life
DS

Anonymous said...

What happened to Mitch in Judge Newman's?

Anonymous said...

I took a flight to Las Vegas 30 minutes before MIA closed for Katrina back in 2005. It was great.

Anonymous said...

Hurricane request:
somebody strap Angry gurl and her yoga mat to a palm tree when a good storm approaches.

CAPTAIN said...

The Captain Reports:

Holly Berretta .......

On Monday at 4am, a dozen police officers opened fire on a man in a car on Miami Beach. The man was dead on the scene. The car was taken by the police to be thoroughly processed. It has been alleged that the reason for the shooting of this suspect was that he was armed with a firearm.

Approximately 63 hours after the shooting of the man, a Berretta 92-F was found in his vehicle by the police .

According to the Miami Beach Police Chief, it took police several days to find the weapon because it was out of sight.

Are you kidding me. This guy must have been Kreskin, Houdini and Copperfield and rolled into one.

Cap Out .....

Mr. Skeptical said...

The gun was hidden very well. It was in the sock of the Police officer.

Anonymous said...

It takes 63 hours to successfully plant a gun.

Anonymous said...

Eat your words Rumpy! Let's go HEAT!

Anonymous said...

what about bullet casings?

Anonymous said...

powder burns?

Anonymous said...

Captain,

Stop being so surprised that it took 63 hours to recover the gun. It takes time to plant a gun. First you have to round up the firing squad which unloaded the hail of bullets. Then you have to collaborate a story, which likely has to go through several revisions. Then you have to find a gun and you have to wipe it clean of all police fingerprints. Then you have to firmly press it in the decedent's hands to get prints on it. However, in this case, the police had to wait a few days for the body to come back from the morgue.

Just because we have cell phones, e-filing, email, twitter and the like does not mean everything is done instantaneously. Some stuff takes time.

By the way, I heard from the grapevine that although this happened on the Beach, it was a set of Hialeah officers that did most the shooting.

Wow, talk about the perfect storm. Hialeah cops patrolling the Beach. I heard that when Aventura found out the decedent was black, they went to the morgue and dropped an A-Form on him for Battery On A LEO. They are objecting to PTI and they want 364 before he is buried.

Anonymous said...

A Beretta model 92 is a full size military type pistol. it weighs 2 pounds is about 9 inches long ,7 inches tall and 1 inch thick. kind of hard to miss during 62 hours of searching

Anonymous said...

The shooting might well have been justified. now they have to figure out who planted the unnecessary throw down. Here we go again!

Belt and Suspenders said...

The throw down was not unnecessary. It was insurance.

Head scratcher said...

Where exactly was the gun found??

In the next 63 hours someone has to figure out how it could be that the guy was a threat to the police because he had a gun in his hand, yet while dying somehow was able to hide the gun so cleverly.

The presence of the gun is almost as troubling as it's non-existence.

Anonymous said...

There are cows in Miami?