WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. THIS BLOG HAS BEEN CALLED "THE DEFINITIVE BLOG ON MIAMI CRIMINAL LAW" BY THE NY TIMES, THE WASHINGTON POST, THE POPE, AND DONALD TRUMP WHO ALSO ONCE SAID IT WAS "REALLY GREAT". POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM

Sunday, June 05, 2011

HOLD IT! SECURITY.

"Delays forecast for those entering the courthouse Monday and all this week:"

For those of you entering our beloved REGJB Monday morning or any subsequent morning this week, please be advised that we have learned that security procedures will be tightened up.

For starters the sensitivity of the metal detectors have been adjusted to be more sensitive. Furthermore all individuals entering the building with semi-automatic weapons will have to prove that the weapon and ammunition are compatible with the Brady Bill. Additionally, the size of nail clippers and nail files subject to automatic confiscation has been lowered from 1 3/4 inches to 1 1/4 inches. Finally, all flash grenades must have the pin securely in place before being allowed in the building.

The security company has emphasized that these changes are for our well being and they have asked us for patience as the screening process may take longer than the current average 11 minutes per person. Furthermore, the security screeners will still average 5 breaks an hour between the hours of 9-11 am.

BTW: you say you are interested in a new and exciting career as a security screener? Well, at great personal expense, we have secured a few of the questions on the entrance exam. Go ahead and take the test and see if you have what it takes to join this elite squad of security screeners.

Question 1:
An elderly woman experiences medical distress as she approaches your station. You should do the following (check all that apply)
a) Call Fire Rescue;
b) Gently assist the patron to a seat and make sure she is breathing;
c) Push her aside, speak to her in a foreign language and immediately go on break.

Question 2:
A patron approaches with a semi automatic weapon and explains that a casing appears to be stuck in the ejector clip. You should:
a) confiscate the weapon and call the police;
b) confiscate the weapon and securely store it until the patron returns;
c) confiscate the weapon, go on break and take the weapon with you.
d) detain the patron's companion.

Answers:
1) The correct answer is C. Offering assistance immediately makes the company liable for the old bag's medical condition. The company can no longer afford liability insurance. Speaking in a foreign language also interjects a language barrier between the old biddy and the company so that the company may completely deny knowledge of her serious medical condition.

2) C & D are the correct answers. C is the company policy when retaining any personal property of a patron. When the patron returns the new screener can deny knowledge of the incident and engage in a fruitless search of the impound box. Plausible deniability is the name of our game.
D is the trickier answer. Studies show that patrons will waive seemingly dangerous weapons in an attempt to distract the screener from confiscating those nail clippers. The smart screener recognizes this as the classic clipper diversion scam and responds accordingly.

Well there you have it. Security procedures tightened up at the REGJB. Have fun and we"ll see you in court.

gck


22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Supposedly, Judge Soto ordered the adjusting of the detectors for more sensitivity after someone walked in with a knife in the back that did not make the detector beep. The result is that now most everyone beeps and need to be wand-screened. It'd be faster to remove the metal detectors and wand-screen everyone.

Anonymous said...

Well Rump, I hope you were right and we have seen the last Heat home game for the season, because that means the Heat are NBA Champs. GO HEAT.

David S Markus said...

As many of you know, I recently had spinal fusion surgery. In light of this subject, I look forward to participating in the "new and improved" screening procedures. The recent metalic additions to my body promise to have "bells ringing" for my return.

I am wearing a back brace and need help getting around. Does anyone know if there is a "procedure" for allowing a nonlawyer assistant to accompany me through the attorney line?(This is actually a serious question!)Who would I contact? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance.....

David S. Markus

Anonymous said...

Based on this, there will be no bench warrants issued until 9:03. No need to say thank you.

Anonymous said...

DAVID S. MARKUS,

Don't know about security for your assistant, but do know from first hand expereince, the six screws, 3 inch rod and bolt, all titanium, installed in my back almost 4 years ago, ahve never triggered screening alarms anywhere including airports bothe hear and abroad. fell better and be careful.

Judge,LAS

Anonymous said...

You to though the metal detector, nothing goes off, take another step, it goes off. They wand you and nothing even remotely goes off. I feel safe.

Anonymous said...

I guess I won't be carrying my tweezers in my briefcase anymore.

Does this mean we have to take off our belts and shoes like the common folks?

CAPTAIN said...

THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:

D-DAY ......

"You are about to embark upon the great crusade, toward which we have striven these many months."

General Eisenhower transmitted that now historic message to all members of the Allied Expeditionary Force 67years ago today, June 6, 1944.

And so began Operation Neptune, aka The Normandy Landings. The names of Utah, Omaha, Gold, Juno, and Sword Beaches would go down in history as the locations of the largest amphibious invasion in world history, with over 160,000 troops landing off the coast of France.

They were the men and women of The Greatest Generation.

And lest we forget that our men and women are fighting today in all parts of this world to keep us safe.

In Iraq today, five American soldiers were killed in eastern Baghdad when rockets slammed into the compound where they lived. The deaths were the largest single-day loss of life for American forces in two years.

Cap Out .....

Anonymous said...

who is gck?

Anonymous said...

I see non lawyers walking thru the line all the time. There exists only a handful of real lawyers in the Gerstein Building.

Anonymous said...

David -

Serious response is call judge Soto. I do not think she will allow you any special dispensation to allow someone to accompany you, but it can't hurt to ask. I believe she will just tell you your assistant needs to get there early, and you as well if necessary.

I can imagine the deluge of requests for special access if they grant you any "favor."

My non serious response is either smuggle your assistant into the courthouse in your trial bag, or strap him to the undercarriage of Judge Slom's car.

Good luck.

Standing in line politely said...

Cheap shot at the security people. No, they are not rocket scientists. But they don't make the rules or policy, they just enforce it for a little more than minimum wage.

And remember, one thing that makes you look like a pompous, prick attorney is to be a dick to some poor security guard.

If you want to help, lobby someone to enable attorneys to be able to get the same treatment as public defenders and asa's so we can use the special entrance.

Anonymous said...

Rumpy, whatchu got to say about the Heats now? You got nothing and you'll have to apologize when the Heat win it all! Let's go Heat!

Anonymous said...

Generally, the security people are nice and just doing their jobs,so let's not be wise guys here.

That being said, why oh why can we not get ID cards and be treated with respect?

A Defense Attorney

Anonymous said...

Yo Captain,

The code name for the invasion of Normancy was Operation Overlord.

Anonymous said...

Don't blame the security screeners. Remember the ones that are hurt the most by these unreasonable rules because they are the ones who have to do extra work and bend up and down constantly to check everyone.

The fault lies with judges or building managers who don't realize the unreasonableness and impracticality of these well-intentioned but misguided adjustments for extra-sensitivity.

This morning, the attorney line went down the sidewalk and defendants were late for court waiting on the humongous lines out there.

There can be a reasonable compromise between security and practicality. After all, no family division cases are heard in the REG building, so the threat level is not as severe as downtown.

Rumpole said...

Sorry Cap- It was operation "Overlord".

Wyatt Earp said...

Remember, when it is criminal to have guns in the courthouse, only criminals will have guns in the courthouse.

CAPTAIN said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CAPTAIN said...

TO 4:47 AND Rumpole:

Then Wiki and several history books need to be corrected. Here is what Wiki says:

"The Normandy landings, also known as Operation Neptune, were the landing operations of the Allied invasion of Normandy, in Operation Overlord, during World War II."

"Operation Overlord was the code name for the Battle of Normandy, the operation that launched the invasion of German-occupied western Europe during World War II by Allied forces. The operation commenced on 6 June 1944 with the Normandy landings (Operation Neptune, commonly known as D-Day)."

The Normandy landing, was the Operation Neptune phase of the overall D-Day, aka Operation Overlord. I stated: "And so began Operation Neptune, aka The Normandy Landings.".

So, both are correct.

Anonymous said...

Any Bar card carrying attorney can get a security card at Miami Dade County AOC and circumvent the metal detectors.

Anonymous said...

5:48

I think you are misinformed.