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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

HOLD THE MAYO, EXTRA RELISH

Our friend(s?) over at the civil lawyers blog (South Florida Lawyers) took the opening of the Federal Court Cafe and ran with it and began to speculate on what kind of sandwich would be named for each of the Federal Judges. Being the good and ethical blogger that we are, we immediately made plans to steal their idea - with proper credit of course.

So pick your Judge and create your sandwich and we'll post the best one's here. (UPDATED BELOW AS PROMISED)

In honour of our new Chief Judge, we'll start things off with the Bertie Soto:
Cucumber and Watercress on Rye with the crust trimmed. A slight dab of mayo, and plantain chips on the side with a cold Materva. Why? Judge Soto just seems like she deserves a classy sandwich.

See you in Au Bon Pain, getting them to change the menu.


UPDATE:

So Be Sous chef, esq said...

I disagree with every choice except the shumie.

The Ed Newman would be a juicy sliced Romanian tenderloin steak on a large crusty french bread with ketchup and steak fries on the side;

The Stan Blake would a a half pound of ham, nothing else, on pumpernickel. Onion rings on the side.

And now I add my own: The David Miller:
Sardines and chicken liver and sliced raw red onion on toasted white bread with boston lettuce and a large SOUR pickle on the side.

The John Thornton: Corned Beef and melted cheddar cheese with cooked onions on rye.

The Beth Bloom: Sliced apple and creme cheese on raisin pumpernickel with grapes on the side.

The Joe Fernandez: Grilled burger, grilled onion, grilled bun (grilled client?)


Anonymous said...

The Broward County Bench and Bar:
2-lb's of German Bologna Also known as Garlic Bologna, this sausage is typically distinguished by adding garlic. On a 2 foot Scotty Boy Sub, served very cold and open.


Anonymous said...

The Katy Pooler:
Bread with lots of candy in between the slices.



FEED ME SEYMOUR said...

The Spencer Eig: Sliced belly lox on an onion bagel with chive cream cheese with a side of blintzes and sour cream and blueberry sauce. Decaf.

The Flora Seff: Dry toasted seedless rye, side of brown rice, no butter. Hot Tea.

The Julio Jimenez: Pan con Lechon, Yuca y Maduros. Pony Malta

The Cristina Miranda: 1/2 Grilled chicken breast on a crusty french baguette, melted Swiss, Dijon mustard, Iced Tea, side of Chanel Lip Creme.

The Alan Schwartz: Grilled Lawyer on a plate, challah to wipe up the b
lood.


Anonymous said...

The Jose Rodriguez - Ox Tail sandwich on Cuban Bread, Platano Maduro and Black Beans and Rice on the side. Light'm if you got'm for dessert.




34 comments:

chef shumie said...

The Shumie- 2 Burger patties, a half pound of pastrami, mustard. mayo, relish, melted swiss, with a handful of crispy fries pressed into the bun and then the whole mess is put on the grill with a sandwich press.

Eat with a cold beer, at a dock, with your feet in the water, and two rolls of paper towels as napkins. Follow with a nice cigar.

Anonymous said...

The Stanford (don't call me Stanley) Blake:

a half pound of pastrami with a dill pickle, cole slaw and Swiss cheese on unseeded rye. Just because it's funny in a kosher kind of way.

Anonymous said...

The Peter "Macho Camacho" Adrien:

roadkill on a bun. Guaranteed to give you as much indigestion as a morning in his courtroom. And, let's hope, because he will soon be like roadkill on a highway.

Anonymous said...

The Jeri Beth Cohen, Cuban sandwich.

You will need fresh baked Cuban bread, second deport all the Cuban bread in Miami back to the island. Now get two slices of Publix white bread, pickles, mayo, swiss cheese, pulled pork, lean slices of ham, grill press and enjoy.

Anonymous said...

The Ed Newman two pieces of stale Rye ....nothing in between

So Be Sous chef, esq said...

I disagree with every choice except the shumie.

The Ed Newman would be a juicy sliced Romanian tenderloin steak on a large crusty french bread with ketchup and steak fries on the side;

The Stan Blake would a a half pound of ham, nothing else, on pumpernickel. Onion rings on the side.

And now I add my own: The David Miller:
Sardines and chicken liver and sliced raw red onion on toasted white bread with boston lettuce and a large SOUR pickle on the side.

The John Thornton: Corned Beef and melted cheddar cheese with cooked onions on rye.

The Beth Bloom: Sliced apple and creme cheese on raisin pumpernickel with grapes on the side.

The Joe Fernandez: Grilled burger, grilled onion, grilled bun (grilled client?)

Anonymous said...

It's Called The Constitution Cafe, Rumpole.......

and I think the menu will be fabulous and affordable, from what I hear. Have some inside culinary sources.

Anonymous said...

"Shumie" is not a judge. No sandwich for him. And the way you CONSTANTLY talk about him CONSTANTLY!!!! is creepy......

Anonymous said...

The Broward County Bench and Bar:


2-lb's of German Bologna Also known as Garlic Bologna, this sausage is typically distinguished by adding garlic. On a 2 foot Scotty Boy Sub, served very cold and open.

Anonymous said...

the Beth Bloom sounds good to me

Anonymous said...

The Jackie Hogan Scola sandwich:

Two slices of bread that are her choice, with no imput from anyone, two pieces of meat of her choice, with no imput from anyone and cheese, only if she wants it and only if no one tries to tell her what cheese is best for her.

She eats alone.

Anonymous said...

The Katy Pooler:

Bread with lots of candy in between the slices.

Anonymous said...

The Flora Seff sandwich:

Stale bread with two pieces of rancid meat and on piece of moldy cheese covered by mayo that was left out of the fridge for about 2 weeks.

Eat it and you will have her rosey demeanor.

Feed Me, Seymour said...

The Spencer Eig: Sliced belly lox on an onion bagel with chive cream cheese with a side of blintzes and sour cream and blueberry sauce. Decaf.

The Flora Seff: Dry toasted seedless rye, side of brown rice, no butter. Hot Tea.

The Julio Jimenez: Pan con Lechon, Yuca y Maduros. Pony Malta

The Cristina Miranda: 1/2 Grilled chicken breast on a crusty french baguette, melted Swiss, Dijon mustard, Iced Tea, side of Chanel Lip Creme.

The Alan Schwartz: Grilled Lawyer on a plate, challah to wipe up the blood.

Anonymous said...

The Cleste Muir - Cold Corned Beef on white bread with Mayonaise, Lettuce and Tomato and sweet pickles on the side. Chocolate milk for your beverage.

Anonymous said...

The Jose Rodriguez - Ox Tail sandwich on Cuban Bread, Platano Maduro and Black Beans and Rice on the side. Light'm if you got'm for dessert.

Anonymous said...

The Sylvestre Peter Adrien - An empty plate with disgusting crud from someone else's meal caking it. Sewage water for your beverage and a barf bag to take home.

Anonymous said...

The Maria Espinosa Dennis - Anything you want, but you can not fax the order in.

Anonymous said...

The Judge Rodriquez: A bowl of soup at a front table.

Anonymous said...

The John Schlesinger: No bolgna

Anonymous said...

The Ellen Venzer: Anything with lots of schmaltz

Anonymous said...

Murphy-peanut butter and jelly on fresh white bread, crust on cut diagonally. Simple and delicious.

Anonymous said...

just curious: was judge butchko ever in private practice?

Anonymous said...

The Arthur Rothenberg - Sunflower seeds, goats milk cheese with a sprinkle of sunshine garnished with a little weed on all whole wheat. Far out man.

Anonymous said...

The Third DCA delite:

Take what's left in the fridge throw it all over the bread. Now toss it up in the air. If the sandwich stays 80% in place we rule in favor of the Appellee, if more than 20% falls out, we issue PCA orders all day long. Goes good with a shot or two of vodka.

Anonymous said...

The Judge Zabel: 2 pieces of very mushy white bread with nothing inbetween. Served about an hour after you ordered it.

Anonymous said...

The Milton Hirsch--2 pounds of tongue on rye with plenty of spicy mustard.

Anonymous said...

For those with amnesia or too young to remember, the relationship between judges and food in this town has a storied past. Former attorney Arthur Massey was convicted of paying for Al Sepe's lunches and dinners at Buccione's in the late 80's in exchange for court appointments. Sepe was acquitted of the same charges but plead guilty to another bribery charge and did 18 months. You can look it up.

Rumpole said...

I don't publish comments about a Judge's family, even if everyone knows their spouse is a law enforcement officer.

Anonymous said...

betty butchko was a defense attorney in private practice and did civil work as well

Anonymous said...

guess who wrote this on his web profile:

"The consultation is only free if the client decides to retain me. Otherwise, it is $500 for a consultation. I do not believe in using time that other clients are paying for to speak to potential clients who are merely "shopping" for a lawyer"

Anonymous said...

I would like to order the Dava Tunis Sandwich.

When she was provided evidence of obscenity (Judge Adalberto Jordan's term, not mine) distribution by one of my esteemed bar complainants, she said, "I've seen it all Mr. Thompson."

So the Dava Tunis Sandwich has absolutely everything on it to celebrate Her Turbulence's omniscience. Ingredients must include: bacon, ham, hamburger, grouper, chicken, gator, and ants. Oh, I forgot the kangaroo. That is the most appropriate of the proteins.

Moving on to the veggies, the Dava Tunis Sandwich must have raw okra, raw cabbage, raw turnips, and raw carrots, because, hey, raw is war backwards and this Hell on wheels jurist declares war on Christians. Gotta love her.

Finally, as to the condiments. Nothing but mustard, baby, because this is the biggest hot dog of a judge I have ever seen.

Enjoy! Jack Thompson

Rumpole said...

I almost published the sandwich that is hot and juicy and you eat all day long. But this judge has a family and it just didn't sit right with me.

Fake Emeril Lagasse said...

Don't forget the Don Horn Pizzeria that will open up soon in the REGJB--WOOD-FIRED Pizza with FIRE-ROASTED toppings.