Friday, May 16, 2008


DOUBLE BREAKING BLOG NEWS: Guilty of first degree murder verdicts in the Merrick Park murder case tried these past few weeks before Judge Reemberto Diaz. Grim faced defense attorneys vowed to appeal.

A reader posted this BREAKING BLOG NEWS:

Move over, Capitan:Breaking Blog News....Rodney Smith has just been appointed as a County Court judge. Good luck to everyone.


We were poking around the new Federal Courthouse the other day, seeing just how far we could get until the Marshals asked us to leave, and we actually got to the top floor, which just happens to be the thirteenth floor. Further investigation revealed that Chief Judge Federico Moreno, complete with the circa 1987 Justice Building wooden sign that he was first given to put outside his courtroom when appointed as a county court judge, was there with the old sign hanging outside his new courtroom.

The rumor was Judge Paul "Take all the time you need to get ready" Huck was going to start his calendars in the new building on the thirteenth floor today.

Query: Just how many clients are going to be happy having trials on the thirteenth floor of the courthouse?

Of course the real luck , as longtime and careful readers of this blog know, is in hiring the right lawyer, as opposed to the lawyer the client's bondsman tells him/her to hire (if you look in the mirror and the previous sentence applies to you counselor: for shame for shame).

In any event, it seemed a bit warm in the building, and the elevators were not nearly as nice as the refurbished ones we have in our humble Justice Building.
How many years late is this courthouse in opening? And they still have A/C and mold problems? And they tempted fate by making it thirteen floors? As Judge Moreno once told one of our clients: "Be careful what you ask for in life, because you may get it."

See You In Court, NOT on the 13th floor (not that it really matters to us. A "not guilty" is a "not guilty" wherever it comes.)


Rumpole said...

I don't know what it is about those elevators in the REGJB, but spending money on them now really ticked me off for some reason. I just can't seem to leave the issue alone.

fake roger elkind said...

YO YO YO Fake Roger Elkind in da house , ready to rock this blog with outrageous comments, silly actions, and irreverent humor. Bring in on homey.

fake jake thompson said...

From: Fake Jake Thompson, Esq. And Gadfly.

To: Chief Judge Fred Moreno

RE: 13th Floor

Dear Judge Moreno:

Perhaps you remember me from 60 minutes, or C-Span, or my near miss run against Janet Reno in the 1980's. She actually smacked me, for which I had a criminal investigation conducted. My right shoulder has never been the same since. Anyway, I digress.

It has come to my attention that the new federal courthouse has 13 floors. I hereby demand you either add or subtract one floor for the following reasons:

1) The number 13 is the sign of satan.

2) Several bad things happen on the 13th floor of different buildings in the new video game grand theft autoIV, including simulated oral sex, simulated anal sex, simulated vaginal sex, and simulated pool. Young children should not be exposed to billards before the age of 18, according to several reliable psychological studies.

I demand that you fix the building or I shall see you in court, and NOT on the 13th floor. The ball is in your court- fix it now, or pay later. Either way, this should be fun.


Fake Jake Thompson, Esq., and Gadfly. (you will note that Jake Thompson has 12 letters, and with good reason I may add. But "federal courts" have 13 letters and that is a very bad sign for you.)

Anonymous said...

rodney smith should have a glass of rodney strong wine tonight.

By the way, who is rodney smith?

Anonymous said...

Rodney Smith was an ASA from around
1999 to 2004. Now I think he works for the City Attorney's Office.

He has an open mind and does not think he knows everything like a lot of young lawyers who become judges.

Now he just has to remember what got him there and stay level headed.


Anonymous said...

Guilty in Diaz of first.

Anonymous said...

I am a fed prosecutor. I would like a Joel Denaro scouting report please.

CAPTAIN said...

He is an Assistant City Attorney in Miami Beach

Cap Out

Anonymous said...


Education: Florida Agricultural & Mechanical University (B.S., 1996, cum laude); Michigan State University College of Law (J.D., 1999, cum laude):

Member: The Florida Bar; District of Columbia Court of Appeals; Supreme Court of the United States of America; United States Court of Appeals for the Eleventh Circuit, United States Court of Appeals for the Armed Forces; United States Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit; United States Court of Federal Claims; United States District Court, Southern District of Florida.

Born: Orlando, Florida

Mr. Smith has been a resident of Miami-Dade County since 1975. He joined the City Attorney's Office in March 2007. Mr. Smith has extensive civil and criminal jury and non jury trials experience in state and federal courts. He served as in-house counsel for two insurance companies, and litigated personal injury, PIP, property, automobile, and general liability claims. Mr. Smith was also an associate trial attorney with McGrane, Nosich & Ganz, P.A., an AV-rated civil litigation firm (2003-2004), specializing in medical malpractice, general liability and insurance defense cases. Previously, Mr. Smith was an Assistant State Attorney for the Miami-Dade County State Attorney's Office (1999-2003), where he served as a Chief in the Juvenile Division and a Career Criminal/Robbery Prosecutor in the Felony Division.

He was elected president-elect of the Wilkie D. Ferguson, Jr. Bar Association (2007-2008), and is an ex-officio board member of the Dade County Bar Association. Since 2005, Mr. Smith has been serving on the marketing committee for the Virginia Key Beach Park Trust. In 1989, he became an Eagle Scout and is an Assistant Scoutmaster and District Chairman for the Boy Scouts of America, South Florida Council.

scout said...

Joel Francis Albert Sinatra Denaro. Bats left, throws right. Has trouble with the short jumper off the cross over dribble. 4.9 forty. Can be jammed at the line of scrimmage with physical coverage. Poor route runner. Good base runner, hits to the opposite field with medium power. Can pick a jury on the fly, but a bruised leg and ego from a recent guilty verdict have him a bit shaky and slow.

fake alschuler said...

Denaro has better qualifications.

Anonymous said...

Cap't- Denaro is NOT an assiatant city attorney, and never has been.

Anonymous said...


As the unofficial Bob Vila of the Blog, I can assure you that the cost of placing stained oak veneer plywood in our dingy elevators was minimal at best. You can get a plank of it at Home Depot for about 50 bucks. So lets assume they needed ten planks. We're looking at 500 bucks. Labor is free since the county workers installed it. I dont think they are laying off a JA or bailiff becasue of it. Time to let go, my friend.
I'm getting worried since this is sticking in your mind and I need you clear-headed for when football season starts.

Anonymous said...

denaro can bring the funk in the the bottom 9th

Anonymous said...

David Peckins denied again.

David, I just dont think it is meant to be.

CAPTAIN said...

I was referring to Rodney Smith.

Anonymous said...

I was doing research on who is Rumpole and noticed that you changed the left hand profile. It used to say:


Why the change?

It also had a note that showed in your profile... ummm

Anonymous said...

All former ASA's know why you become a division chief in juvenile.

Because there is no more room in Felony Screening.

Rumpole said...

10:53 PM you are 100% correct. But fear not- I do not waste my time during the day reading FLWs and the like. I am busy studying training camp film. My most profitable time of the year (football season) is fast approaching, and I assure you that I am doing my homework. Fins win 5 games- guaranteed.

Anonymous said...

To paraphrase Scottafrica regarding Judge Smith:

He has an open mind and does not think he knows everything like most defense lawyers, especially the young ones.

Welcome aboard Rodney

Anonymous said...

Whats with Black lawyers and law firms and their names...don't they have space bars on their keyboards?

Anonymous said...

Does anyone have a link to a photo of Rodney Smith? I'm having a hard time attaching a face to the name. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Tired of Spam? Want to make a shit load of money in legal fees? Plus make $500.00 for each spam email received.

See, 668.606 of the Fla. Stat.

It states that any person outside the State of Florida who send spam to you submits themselfs to Florida jurisdiction. It also provides Plaintiff legal fees and compensatory damages or $500.00 for each email.

So get 10 spam emails each day thats $5,000.00 in your pocket not to mention the legal bill.

Moveover traffic lawyers make room in small claims court for 1-800-NOT-SPAM.

Here is the law:

668.606 Civil remedies; service provider immunity.--

(1) The department may bring an action for damages or for declaratory or injunctive relief or may impose a civil penalty as provided in s. 668.6075. A cause of action, without regard to any other remedy or relief to which a person is entitled, including the right to seek declaratory and injunctive relief against a person who initiates or assists in the transmission of a commercial electronic mail message that violates, has violated, or is otherwise likely to violate s. 668.603, is also available to an interactive computer service, telephone company, or cable provider that handles or retransmits the commercial electronic mail message.

(2) This part does not create a cause of action or provide for criminal charges against an interactive computer service, customer premise equipment provider, communications service provider, or cable provider whose equipment is used to transport, handle, or retransmit a commercial electronic mail message that violates s. 668.603.

(3) A prevailing plaintiff in an action filed under this part is entitled to:

(a) An injunction to enjoin future violations of s. 668.603.

(b) Compensatory damages equal to any actual damage proven by the plaintiff to have resulted from the initiation of the unsolicited commercial electronic mail message or liquidated damages of $500 for each unsolicited commercial electronic mail message that violates s. 668.603.

(c) The plaintiff's attorney's fees and other litigation costs reasonably incurred in connection with the action.

(4) Any person outside this state who initiates or assists in the transmission of a commercial electronic mail message received in this state which violates s. 668.603 and who knows, or should have known, that the commercial electronic mail message will be received in this state submits to the jurisdiction of this state for purposes of this part.

(5) An action under this section must be commenced within 4 years following the date of any activity prohibited by s. 668.603.

Anonymous said...

It is not "triscadecaphobia". It is "triskaidekaphobia". Please, Rumpole, use the spell checker.

Anonymous said...

Let's hope for an imperfect season for the Fins. They blew it last year by winning one game :(

Anonymous said...

congrats to rodney. Its nice to see that someone whose husband doesnt raise gobs of dirty money for scum bag republicans can get appointed to the bench.

everyone knows who i am talking about

Anonymous said...

Rodney Smith


Wont be the best judge, but he will listen and the one who screams the loudest and makes the most sense will win.

Anonymous said...

I was watching mad tv tonight...dave navarro (carmen electra's ex) was doing a skit where he listed all the people he had had sex with that week. One of the women named of JUDGE MILLIAN of the People's Court!

Anonymous said...

No one lays down a drag bunt like Joel "sweet feet" Denaro. Kids got wheels.