Everyone's favorite Captain writes in:
NORTH OF THE BORDER CAMPAIGN UPDATE
It's getting even busier on candidates row this year in Broward.The latest count is 18 candidates for 6 new positions.
There are two new Circuit Court seats with 5 candidates and four new County Court seats with 13 candidates.
Circuit: 017 Group: 057 : Samuel Lopez , John C Rayson
Circuit: 017 Group: 058 :Mardi Levy-Cohen, Jim Lewis , Marina Garcia-Wood.
County Court Judge, Grp. 29: Danielle Levin, Jill Levy, Nicholas, "Nick" Lopane
County Court Judge, Grp. 30: Michele Anne Cavallaro, Alan Marks,
Robin Sobo Moselle
County Court Judge, Grp. 31 : Michael "Mike" Doddo, Ellen A. Feld,
Christopher M. "Chris" Neilson, Arlene Joy Simon
County Court Judge, Grp. 32 : Kelly Reynolds Dell , Brenda Lynn Di Ioia,
CAPTAIN OUT ..............
Rumpole notes that the Broward County Bar Association will be endorsing candidates. Candidates will be interviewed and will be given a written examination.
We have obtained a portion of that examination:
True or False Portion of the test:
Miami attorneys are a bunch of lying thieves. [t] [f]
The Dade County State Attorneys office is incompetent. [t] [f]
Miami Judges regularly sentence murderers to CTS. [t] [f]
Many trials in Miami are conducted in Spanish. [t] [f]
You can purchase crack at the cafeteria in the Miami Courthouse. [t] [f]
4 lawyers are seated in the jury area waiting to be called out of turn. One of them is from Miami.
a) You call the Miami lawyer first as s/he has a long drive and probably has cases pending in Miami.
b) You call the lawyers you know by their first name, then the PD cases, then the un-represented Defendants and then act surprised that the Miami lawyer didn’t ask to be taken out of turn.
c) You instruct your courtroom deputy to menacingly dangle his handcuffs every time the Miami lawyer approaches the podium.
d) You call the Miami attorney last, tell them the clerk didn’t bring the file, and order them to return at 8:00 am the next day.
A Miami lawyer has filed a motion to suppress:
a) you have your judicial assistant schedule the hearing for 4:30 pm. on a Friday afternoon.
b) you have your judicial assistant schedule it for the “first day available” the following year.
c) You set the hearing for 8:45 am. on a Monday morning and pack the courtroom with police officers and sheriff deputies who snicker as the lawyer asks questions.
d) you deny the motion without issuing an order and set the case for your “36 week standby calendar.”
A Miami lawyer calls your chambers to schedule a hearing for a bond and follows the call up with a written motion.
a) you instruct your judicial assistant to give the attorney Fred Haddad’s office number.
b) you get on the phone and ask the lawyer “how high can you count”.
c) You bring the defendant to court without notice, “sigh” out loud how the attorney is not present and you can’t release the defendant without the Miami attorney and inform the defendant that you have no choice but to accommodate his “out of town” lawyer by re-setting the hearing in a month.
d) you bring the motion to lunch with your fellow judges and everyone laughs until one of your colleagues spits up his diet coke.
Rumpole wishes all the candidates the best of luck North of the Border.
See you in court.
PS. We were NOT served today. Day uno.