Dear Diary... big speech tonight. Thought it was a state of the union address and then was informed that it is too soon for me to give one. So Speaker Ryan, that little twerp, just invited me to address congress. It is a congressional address, not a state of the union address. I'm very upset about this.
Dear Diary, just blew off some steam. Fired some white house maids I caught speaking spanish. No more espanol en la casa blanca I say.
I was thinking about the state of the union. I hate unions. They're job killers. I am a job creator. So I'm going to give a state of the Trump speech. The speech should be about me, That's what people care about. How many people were at my inauguration. How many electoral votes I won (ALL OF EM!). How high are my poll numbers- through the roof. It is the best month in any presidency ever.
A few final thoughts. I smell a rat behind this state of the union business. A big-eared, born in Kenya, non-american, muslim Barak Hussein Obama rat. And I'm gonna get even with him. Obama care will become Trump-Insurance. I going to erase his name from the history channel.
Tried to fire the limo driver. Caught him making Taco-Bell runs for the secret service guys. Mucho Bigo-problemo with these hombres.
Enemies list. Obama. Kenya. Ryan. Wisconsin. Mexican maids. Those supreme court justices not coming to my speech. CNN. The Golf channel. The archdiocese of Newark, New Jersey. NATO. Holland. Taco Bell.
The Yellow Pages. Candle-Pin bowling. That roller coaster at Coney Island. The Bee-Gees. ABBA. Little Anthony and the Imperials. Chicken Kitchen- they screw up my order one more time and put onions on my chicky-chop and the CIA is going to hot wire their soda machines to make everything taste like Dr. Pepper, which is really so misunderstood. California- go ahead- try and secede- make my day.
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