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Saturday, February 18, 2017

DIARY OF A MAD PRESIDENT MAR-A-LAGO EDITION

Dear Diary--- just a quick update for Sunday morning. Gave a small speech yesterday. Said "Look what's just happened in Sweden today." because of all the non-vetted refugees/terrorists they let in. Swedes quickly responded on twitter and fake media that nothing bad happened. 
Fake media not reporting news. Fake country. 
Add to enemies list: Sweden. Ikea. Cheap furniture. Takes away american jobs. Memo to self to send in Natl Guard and take that Ikea stuff and sell it at Sears. 
Memo to White House chef: "Pepe, please remove Swedish meatballs from menu. Keep those american burgers coming.DJT."
Memo to Ivanka- no more Dancing Queen.ABBA is verbotten at mein Vhite House. I love the whole German accent thing. Freaks out her pipsqueak husband Jared. Back to Sweden- Memo to Natl Sec Advisor (as soon as one agrees to job) "Shoot a few cruise missiles across Sweden. Patton did it and it worked for him.DJT."

Dear Diary...
Another weekend at Mar-A-Lago, the only $200,000.00 members only winter White House.What an amazing winter White House. Fantastic. Nobody has ever seen a winter White House as tremendous as this one. 
Obama took all those days golfing and flying who knows where and doing who knows what and it cost so much money and this is completely different because...uh...never mind. 

Benjy Netanyahoo- what a name. To be the Prez of Israel and named after a website. So cool. Maybe Google can be changed to Trump? People would say "I'm going to Trump when the next Super Bowl is" or "I'm going to Trump grabbing college freshmen women by the p...." Never mind. Memo to self: Leave Google be. 

Enemies list. Fake news media. CNN. Failing NY Times. NBC. ABC. CBS. ESPN (bring back USFL!!). BBC. Foreign Fake News media. Has a nice ring to it. Memo: Prez of Mexico has 49% stake in NY Times and CNN. I heard that on Breitbart and Fox. 
That guy who turned down the National security advisor job. And that other guy who did too. And that third guy who turned it down as well. New Mexico. Any state with name of Mexico in it can't be a Trump state. 
NATO. Failed. Old. Hitler used NATO to invade London. Historical fact. Maybe its time we and Russia got rid of NATO. If you change the letters in NATO to M  E  X  I  C O you get Mexico. Media never reports that.  

Hillary Clinton got no electoral votes. I won them all. Even Reagan didn't do that. He lost like four votes in Milwaukee to Kennedy or someone. Media doesn't report that. Woops...fake media doesn't report that. 

I agree we need theme for week. This week: enemies of the state: Media. Failing NY Times. National Security Counsel is enemy of people. A job loser. Did Patton have a National Security Advisor when he invaded Korea? No. I don't need one either. 

I love the Constitution. I love the bill of rights. All those rights, and we got a bill for it which we paid because back then we didn't have a deficit. We're going to bring that back. Rights. Wonderful rights. Tremendous rights. People are saying they've never seen anything like the rights we are bringing back. 

Amazing. Best Presidency. Ever. People are saying they've never seen a presidency like this. The OshKoshByJosh-National Enquirer national poll has me at 93% winning. I'm a winner. Amazing poll. Tremendous. People are saying they've never seen a poll like that. 

Final thoughts. Shutting down border with Canada. Saw a briefing. Thousands of jobs being lost to Alaska. Can't have that. Jobs need to stay in America. 

Gonna bomb John McCain with a stealth B-99 Bomber. The same one Patton used to drive the Italians out of Australia. 

I love being president. 


5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think this story might have legs:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/19/us/politics/donald-trump-ukraine-russia.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=first-column-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/amid-russia-scrutiny-trump-associates-received-informal-ukraine-policy-proposal/2017/02/19/72b0b264-f6eb-11e6-be05-1a3817ac21a5_story.html?hpid=hp_hp-top-table-main_ukraine-12am%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&utm_term=.3e4891b4388a

fingers crossed.

Anonymous said...

Rump - I've been out of internet reach for days. What happened in Sweden?

Anonymous said...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Anonymous said...

When will CJ Hirsch issue another apodictic opinion?

Anonymous said...

Ok. If this is a Trump blog now I'm done. Can someone let me know when it's about the REG again?