Dear Diary, Things are fantastic. Amazing. Best two weeks of a presidency. Ever.
This statute of liberty thing is a real mess. Give me your tired... the hell with that. Tired is Bush. Give me your tough guys, full of energy, ready to work. That's what I want. Do people even know France dumped that thing in our harbor? France...a country four fat germans pulling a potato cart invaded and conquered. Then we had to have our greatest General, General Patton invade at Dday and rescue the French.
Note to self- find out when Dday celebrates Patton's invasion and take Trump One to Dday France and give a speech. Then spend the night at my golf course in Ireland. How far can Dday be from my hotel anyway?
That appeals court better do the right thing tonight. We have to have courts, but no one says we have to pay the light bill. Rule against me and let them sit in the dark for awhile. I'm done playing games.
Speaking of games, the Super Bowl was good, but if I find out that little snit Jared took my phone when old Bush flipped the coin so I couldn't tweet how pathetic he looked...I'll do something. Send him to Israel for a month. Some jew...I've seen him snarfing down the shrimp cocktails at the club when he thought no one was looking. And its all free food for him. My dad would have charged him...he charged me so why not him?
Bannon made the cover of Time. First for him. I've been on like a dozen times. And better covers. Best selling ever. I checked the numbers. His cover sold real poorly. One of the worst. They won't make that mistake again. Or I'll turn off their lights too. Let them type in the dark.
Saturday night live. Time to take off the gloves. I'm done fooling around. First, gonna order re-runs of the Apprentice with me in charge to air opposite their show. Second, one word: NSA. Lets seem them get numbers when their signal is scrambled.
Melania and Barron are in New York. This is soooo cool. I have the place to myself. Long talks at night with Vladimir. He gets me. He really really does. Not a killer. Just a big Russian teddy-bear. And he has those pics of Russian models that he sends me. All over six feet tall...
Memo to self...take Ruth Bader Ginsberg out to eat. McDonalds. She's a few big Macs from a coronary.
Enemies list. Schumer. Vermont. Zimbabwe. That group of Nuns picketing the White House. Jared- if he stole my phone. Bannon. No more Time covers. EVER! Pence is on thin ice. Needs to back me up more. Ben and Jerry. Worst Ice Cream ever. So overrated. The press never reports that. It's all fake news about me and my poll numbers, not that Chunky-Monkey is a failing ice cream with Bananas in it.
Gotta go Diary. Belgium issued some statement about refugees. Gonna call their Prime Minister. Lets see how they like it when I kick them out of Nato and buzz Parliament with B-52s. Phone call now. First up- triple the tariff on Belgium chocolates. Then ban those stupid waffles. Hit them where they live I say.
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