WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. THIS BLOG HAS BEEN CALLED "THE DEFINITIVE BLOG ON MIAMI CRIMINAL LAW" BY THE NY TIMES, THE WASHINGTON POST, THE POPE, AND DONALD TRUMP WHO ALSO ONCE SAID IT WAS "REALLY GREAT". POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM

Saturday, February 25, 2017

DIARY OF A MAD PRESIDENT 2 25 2017

Dear Diary...
It's been a good week. An amazing week. No one has ever seen a week like this in the presidency. BUT...there are some nagging little things I need to take care of next week. 

First, fire this National Security Advisor guy. He got good press. Smart. Capable. It's rubbing me the wrong way. Where was he when I banned muslims from entering the country? Not here. Where was he when I signed the order deporting Arizona? Not here. Those are the real accomplishments of this presidency and what the fake press should be writing. He's gone. Ralph, the head doorman at Trump Tower handled the security for my lobby for ten years. No crazies ever got in. National security. Lobby security. What's the diff? Ralph is my new guy. He knows not to talk to the press and he's already got the uniform with the big hat. It will add some class to this place. 

Second, I have a Jewish problem. I'm not the first world leader to have one. But I've got one...and I need a solution. 
What is it with these people? Every Sunday night Jared has tons of Chinese Food being delivered to the white house. Chinese food? That has to stop. China is manipulating it's currency. Doesn't look American if I'm seen eating sushi and chopped suey. 

It's always the food with these people. And when they're not eating, they're complaining. The service is slow. The bill is too high. The room is too hot..then the room is too cold. Bomb threats at their schools. Some reporter asked me about what I was going to do about this. Don't they know I got the most electoral votes ever? More than Ben Franklin even. Jews must have been some of those electoral votes. I mean don't tell me New York City doesn't have electoral votes. The place is crawling with Chinese restaurants and you can't get near one on Sunday night and that means...well you get the picture. 

Good news Diary. I've fixed the Ivanka problem with Nordstroms. We've opened a beautiful store in the east wing. 3800 square feet of all of her merchandise Nordstroms canned. We had to clear out the situation room for this. But who needs that? There are no situations. Only solutions. John Lennon. Beatles. Real American. Anyway, the tourists will be routed from the Oval Office into Ivanka's store- like when the kids get off the rides at Disney and are dumped into a merchandise store. 

Ivanka's East Wing. It's a beautiful store. An amazing store. No one has ever seen anything like it in the white house before. Best store ever. Best Presidency ever. 

Enemies list. Real quick. Not much time. Tee time today at 11. 
First Amendment. Girl Scouts- those cookies are made in china. Congress. Wo-Hops in Manhattan. Got a delivery bill for 800 bucks. Some nerve. The Vatican. Japan. AP. UPI. Polls. 

That's it for now. 

Oh.. one more thing. Love those girls who took out the North Korean guy at the airport by spraying nerve gas in his face. Brillant. Winners. We need those gals. We don't win anymore like they do. That's going to change. 

I love being President. 

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you need a safe space and a pacifier. MAGA

Rumpole said...

The holocaust is no joking matter despite the passage of time. A famous comedy rule says comedy is tragedy plus time- thus the joke "other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"

When I wrote as Trump that he needed a "solution" to the jewish problem, I was making a subtle reference to the nazi's "final solution". Something an ignoramus like Trump might say without realizing it's horrific implications.

Diary of a Mad president isn't comedy. It is political satire and commentary. It riffs and reflects on Trump's ignorance. For example, Trump professes admiration for Patton. Yet Trump is an avowed non-reader. Thus it is likely he thinks Patton was the lead US general in WWII when in fact Eisenhower was the Supreme Commander Allied Forces Europe and the commanding general of the invasion forces in Europe wasn't Patton (who didn't have a command at D-day) but General Sir Bernard Montgomery. When Patton was given a command, he served under his old aide in Italy- General Omar Bradley.
While it is true that Patton's third army acted brilliantly under his command during the battle of the bulge- disengaging from a major battle, marching for two days, and re-engaging at Bastione and freeing the trapped 101 Airborne Division- Patton was overall a mediocre general and an ego-maniac. His command, the decisions he made, the results of the battles he fought compare unfavorably to MacArthur in the Asian theater.

But Trump wouldn't know this, which is why I have him constantly referring to non-existent battles like Patton freeing Australia from the Italians.

Back to the "Jewish problem". This issue is ripe for commentary and Trump's administration ripe for ridicule. For the first time since the celebration of Holocaust Remembrance Day, the White House's announcement shockingly failed to mention the death of over 6 million jews. This was not an oversight- as if the extermination of over 6 million people could be over-looked. It was a deliberate snub by members of white supremacists and racists that have wormed their way next to our ignorant president.

I therefore felt compelled to ridicule our president and write his thoughts in a manner reflective of his ignorance on this subject. I don't think Trump is an anti-semite. (I do think he is a racist based on his attempts not to rent to African Americans). I do think he is dimwitted enough to be manipulated by those around him, and ignorant enough about history to write that he needs a "solution" to a jewish problem without ever understanding the horrific and offensive nature of such a comment. Thus, I wrote it.





the trialmaster said...

Rump. I agree totally.

DMD said...

Rumpole--We read you for your legal insights and courthouse info--How about sticking to the law and legal commentary--It would be greatly appreciated if you would leave the political attacks and satire to SNL and the New York Times !! DMD

Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work Rumpy. Your commentary is not lost on those of us who get it.

Anonymous said...

Dear Diary :
I got a Bigly idea. I am, no my kids are going to.open a huge new enterprise , Trumpland, no Trumpworld. Maybe one in Oshkosh the other outside Moscow.

Anonymous said...

Viva la resistance. Dump Trump!Impeach him. Baker Act him. Lock him up!!! It is outrageous what he has been allowed to get away with for all these years. He is a crook, a total fraud. Wake up America. I predict he will be taken down by Pence and the Republican Congress.

Anonymous said...

I, like most readers of this blog, wanna hear about RJG building gossip, judge's behaving badly & everyday lawyer stories. All this political commentary sucks. Satirizing Trump's antics is not what this blog is about. Come on, enough of this nonsense. Go back to making fun of Judges and stop talking national politics!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the commentary. Keep it up.

Anonymous said...

Whatever Rumpole comments on is the proper subject to be commented on. Anyone who wants to edit the content is free to start their own blog.

Anonymous said...

Agreed! The Trump satire is not funny nor is it the reason I read this blog.

Anonymous said...

Trumps first month - natl debt reduced by 12 Billion; DOW reaches 20k and had longest sustained high in 8 years 1 month

Obama's first month - debt increased by 200 Billion. With a B.

Keep up the satire, we will keep making America great. Everyone's a winner.