WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

HURRICANE CHECK LIST

UPDATE:  Updated 5 day probability cone posted below. It seems that there is just the slightest jog to the west, as the lure of tens of thousands of Republicans in Tampa is proving irresistible to Isaac. 

August brings a swell of newcomers to the REGJB as the SAO and the PDs ranks increase with the latest law school grads who are more than a little thankful to have a real legal job, and not waiting tables as many of their comrades with newly minted JDs are forced to do: "You should order the ribs tonight and counterclaim on that lawsuit you were served with."
Many of our new lawyers are new to South Florida and may not have experience with hurricanes. We can help. 

Hurricanes are a force of nature, designed by nature to do several things: a hurricane alters the environment that it strikes, creating new land barriers, altering the coast line, creating new estuaries, and  scrubbing clean old land growths, allowing new trees an shrubs a chance to thrive. 
Hurricanes were also clearly designed to boost the stock price of Home Depot and the ratings of channel 7 WSVN in Miami. When a hurricane is formed off the coast of Africa, channel 7 goes into an absolute frenzy, canceling scheduled programming as the station runs endless loops of the aftermath of hurricane Andrew and file footage of desperate people waiting in block long lines to buy a pint of water and a can of cold beans, while other footage shows determined looking people strapping hundreds of sheets of plywood from Home Depot onto the roofs of their  Kias and Porsche Boxsters. 
The lesson to be learned from all this is simple: to survive a hurricane in South Florida you need to 1) watch channel 7; 2) buy all the water you can; 3) buy all the wood at your local home depot.  You will need the wood to build an outhouse in which to sit and listen to channel 7 simulcast on your radio while surveying the splinters of your former home. 

HURRICANE CHECK LIST:
[  ] One radio.  [  ]  Two flashlights.  [ ] One package of C and one package of D batteries. [  ] One can of canned salmon. [ ] One box of Ritz Crackers.  [  ] Two candles and one book of matches. 
 [  ] Four  Six bottles of Tequila. [ ]  One cooler, filled with ice and as many bottles of Michelob Ultra Light as you can jam in there.  
[  ] One 8 x 10 glossy photo of Rick Sanchez.

You may be asking yourself "What should I do?".  You should check the blog  and NOAA Isaac updates frequently. Isaac should be approaching the coast of Florida Sunday. The 11th Judicial Circuit has procedures for notifying litigants and attorneys as to whether court is open. Computer modeling becomes more accurate as the storm nears South Florida. The chief judge will decide on when to issue the order closing courts. As in the past, you can expect that order between several hours and several days after the storm has passed. For instance, if the storm is predicted to hit Miami monday morning, Judge Brown will probably issue the order to close court Monday by the following Thursday. 

The main thing to remember as a storm approaches is to use common sense. Do not touch any downed electrical wires; stock up on plenty of food and water; give yourself extra time when going to the clerks office to  order files, and remember: if the roof is off and the windows are all blown out, then the arraignment calendars in the REGJB will probably be start at 10 instead of 9. 

See you in court... if it's still standing. 

CONE OF DESTRUCTION





19 comments:

CAPTAIN said...


THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:

THEY HAVE UPDATED THE CONE OF DEATH .....

The latest update has it just south of Tampa Bay on Monday August 27, 2012 AT 2:00 PM

For those of you attending the Republican National Convention, (like me), that soiree begins on - you guessed it - Monday, August 27, 2012.

Cap Out ....

Anonymous said...

Rumpole,as one hurricane blows in, another hurricane is blowing out, or should I say bowing out. The great Bobby Aaron from the PDs office is retiring next week Friday. His goodbye Happy Hour is this Friday at the Lucky Clover on Brickell. Come by and share you favorite Bobby Aaron story. He is one of a kind and among the last of a dying breed of old school lawyers.

"American Minority" said...

Just in time for the Reudumblican Convention. What a great God.

Anonymous said...

you can not buy beer after a Hurricane watch is issued... stock up now...

Anonymous said...

Was the bond case Hirsch revisited the Villanueva DUI Manslaughter case? If it is, it is very interesting and a conflict of interest because David O. Markus is the Defense Attorney and Hirsh and Markus were partners in a law firm. That case is assigned to Rebull.

Anonymous said...

Just wondering if you'll print the name of the SoBe fu-fu Dandy lawyer and his GF who were escorted out of BLT Steak on Ocean when they loudly complained about their table through being seated and appetizers. They sent a bottle of wine back and complained about the food and service before the Maitre'D asked them to leave.
After a big fuss he said "I'm not coming back" to which Les responded "And thats a bad thing?" To which most of us stood and applauded.

What a scene. Most people feel lucky to afford to be able to eat at such a nice place. But these two are spoiled on a whole different level. Anyway, sending two comments, one with the name and one without. Which one will you post?

Anonymous said...

andy rier yikes http://www.3dca.flcourts.org/Opinions/3D12-1915.pdf

Anonymous said...

I believe the correct spelling is David O'Marcus.

Anonymous said...

1109..............Schwartz has a history of hammering attorneys in his opinions. Many times, he is wrong, though he'll never admit it even when a proper Bar investigation proves it. It's grossly unfair because the attorneys don't have an opportunity to be heard and defend themselves prior to being slammed.

I find the criticism despicable and hypocritical (espcially when he hammers prosecutors and judges for not respecting a defendant's rights, in effect trampling one person's rights reputation in alleged defense of another person's rights). Schwartz is a smart guy, but a bully with a poor attitude.

BTDT

Anonymous said...

back in the late 90's we in SAO County Court called Bob Aaron "Nick Nolte". He was quick to lose his temper and stomp out of the County Court courtrooms when a judge did not rule in his favor after argument with an ASA pup

South Beach Dandy said...

I'll be poolside at the Gansvoort all weekend, sipping Hurricanes, eyeing the ladies, and holding court.

Anonymous said...

BTDT @7:56 . . . The DCA opinion was per curiam. That means all three judges signed onto the opinion. It seems that your singling out of Judge Schwartz is, itself, "grossly unfair."

Anonymous said...

Andy Rier will take money to adopt a pro se defendant's successive time-barred rule 3 motion. He does it all the time. It was just a matter of time before he got dinged for it.

Anonymous said...

I stand by my comment. I single out Schwartz because he is a repeat and very long time offender. The DCAs should not be singling out and hammering attorneys in published opinions. If they have a problem with a lawyer, they should refer him or her to the Bar where the lawyer can be afforded the same due process the courts provide to everyone else.

BTDT

Anonymous said...

The comments made by Rier were not the most polite, however, I think they fall far short of a violation of the section 4-8.2(a)of the Code of Professional Responsibilty, as cited by the court.

Judge Schwartz, if discourteousness is a sanctionable offense, then you would have been removed long before you retired, and you would not be sitting as a senior judge. You have always sat on your high horse (mostly so everyone can see you), but the footnote to the Allen case is (in a word you love to use) the height of "chutzpah".

Anonymous said...

I tried a case in front of Schwartz once he got mad at me turned his chair completely around and refused to rule or participate. What a douche

Anonymous said...

Schwartz suffers from the fact that he doesn't smooch the butts of attorneys who are stupid and ill-prepared. Anyone who knows anything about the law also knows that Andy Rier doesn't know the law and doesn't care that he doesn't know. He just takes his clients' money and lets the chips fall where they may. He is slovenly and deserves to have his chains rattled.

Anonymous said...

1033.........there are plenty of judges who don't kiss the attorneys' asses who I like have have tremendous respect for. After all of these years, Schwartz still hasn't learned that. I still remember him turning his back on LAW STUDENTS DURING MOOT COURT COMPETITIONS. There's no excuse for that. You can be a human being without kissing ass.

Schwartz is a brilliant guy who has authored many important decisions. If he treated people the way they deserved, he'd have been a legend.

And, again, it's simply wrong for courts to be publicly hammering lawyers without giving them an opportunity to be heard. Once the opinions are published, there's no taking them back. Even when the courts are wrong and the attorneys cleared by the Bar. There's nothing remotely fair about that, and Schwartz does that regularly.

BTDT

Anonymous said...

10:33 - what is missing in your comment is the realization that Rier did not handle the appeal and did not participate in the oral argument. The footnote and reference by Judge Schwartz was gratuitous and beyond what was clearly necessary to dispose of the case. It is typical of the pontifficating nature of the Napoleonic complex exhibited by Judge Schwartz in all aspects of this existence.