August brings a swell of newcomers to the REGJB as the SAO and the PDs ranks increase with the latest law school grads who are more than a little thankful to have a real legal job, and not waiting tables as many of their comrades with newly minted JDs are forced to do: "You should order the ribs tonight and counterclaim on that lawsuit you were served with."
Many of our new lawyers are new to South Florida and may not have experience with hurricanes. We can help.
Hurricanes are a force of nature, designed by nature to do several things: a hurricane alters the environment that it strikes, creating new land barriers, altering the coast line, creating new estuaries, and scrubbing clean old land growths, allowing new trees an shrubs a chance to thrive.
Hurricanes were also clearly designed to boost the stock price of Home Depot and the ratings of channel 7 WSVN in Miami. When a hurricane is formed off the coast of Africa, channel 7 goes into an absolute frenzy, canceling scheduled programming as the station runs endless loops of the aftermath of hurricane Andrew and file footage of desperate people waiting in block long lines to buy a pint of water and a can of cold beans, while other footage shows determined looking people strapping hundreds of sheets of plywood from Home Depot onto the roofs of their Kias and Porsche Boxsters.
The lesson to be learned from all this is simple: to survive a hurricane in South Florida you need to 1) watch channel 7; 2) buy all the water you can; 3) buy all the wood at your local home depot. You will need the wood to build an outhouse in which to sit and listen to channel 7 simulcast on your radio while surveying the splinters of your former home.
HURRICANE CHECK LIST:
[ ] One radio. [ ] Two flashlights. [ ] One package of C and one package of D batteries. [ ] One can of canned salmon. [ ] One box of Ritz Crackers. [ ] Two candles and one book of matches.
[ ] One 8 x 10 glossy photo of Rick Sanchez.
You may be asking yourself "What should I do?". You should check the blog and NOAA Isaac updates frequently. Isaac should be approaching the coast of Florida Sunday. The 11th Judicial Circuit has procedures for notifying litigants and attorneys as to whether court is open. Computer modeling becomes more accurate as the storm nears South Florida. The chief judge will decide on when to issue the order closing courts. As in the past, you can expect that order between several hours and several days after the storm has passed. For instance, if the storm is predicted to hit Miami monday morning, Judge Brown will probably issue the order to close court Monday by the following Thursday.
The main thing to remember as a storm approaches is to use common sense. Do not touch any downed electrical wires; stock up on plenty of food and water; give yourself extra time when going to the clerks office to order files, and remember: if the roof is off and the windows are all blown out, then the arraignment calendars in the REGJB will probably be start at 10 instead of 9.
See you in court... if it's still standing.
CONE OF DESTRUCTION