WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM

Monday, October 19, 2009

MIXER THIS WEEK

There's a "Bench/Bar" mixer on October 22 2009 at some "establishment" appropriately named "Delores, But You Can Call Me Lolita." We are not making this name up. This bagnio of sorts is located at 1000 South Miami Drive.

While laws against miscegenation have been mostly (and rightly) removed from the books, we have a policy which we strongly advise many of you to adhere to: while there is absolutely nothing wrong in having social relations (or more) outside your particular ethnic makeup, we urge caution when it comes to mixing intellect. In general, we strongly believe that one should socialize within a general range of one's intelligent quotient.

There is danger in socializing (or more) with those, well, there's no easy way to put this....with idiots. There. We said it. Problems arise. Families clash. There is social scorn whenever you go out in public. People point and whisper.

Eventually you wake up one morning and realize as you read your New York Times and your partner watches Fox News, that you just don't have anything in common. Then marriages fail, people are hurt, and only the divorce lawyers prosper.

We are much older and wiser than many young attorneys reading this blog. Perhaps the opportunity to mix with those below your intelligence seems sexy? Dangerous even. You've spent three years in law school studying law and avoiding miscreants so you could be admitted to the Bar. Now might seem like a good time to let loose. Let your hair down in a dark bar after a few drinks and see how the other half live.

Don't do it. A few minutes of pleasure is not worth throwing your whole life away. We know it sounds wrong. But really, individuals of lower and higher intelligence should not mix.

You have been warned.

However, should you dare to "take a walk on the wild side"
here are a few conversation pointers to help you avoid those embarrassing pauses when your conversation partner doesn't know what you've said or how to reply:

1) Don't use any phrases in latin. Ever. Except "nolle prosequi" That one they know. Usually.

2) Let them take the lead in their courtroom stories. Laugh politely when they mention how they ruled, then say "how about them Dolphins?" Avoid inquiring if the case was appealed. It's a sore subject to most.

3) Don't mention precedent. They don't usually care about mundane things.

4) Use simple words. Two syllables or less.

5) Avoid talking about the old days before they started their current job.
This is where it gets tough because the conversation usually strays into such flights of fancy that no reasonable human being can be expected to hold their tongue.

"You tried 125 jury trials? In one year? Really? How about them Dolphins?

"You gave up a million dollar a year partnership? Really. Plus a new Mercedes every year? Wow! How about them Dolphins?"

"The Governor called you personally to urge you to apply for the open spot on the Third DCA? (Pull out your handkerchief. Pretend to sneeze while laughing. Gather your thoughts about you. Take a deep breath.) How about them Dolphins?"

The best thing you can do Thursday is go to Joes, it's open now! Or Mortons, or stay home and watch Survivor.

Remember what your mother told you: "When you lie down with dogs, you get fleas."

See You In Court, safe in our anonymity.




17 comments:

Scott Saul said...

I got a problem with that mixed marriage in Louisiana. I think the white chick looks like a vampire and I am scared for that Jon- Gosselin-with-a-permanent looking groom.

Rumpole said...

MNF: Chargers -3.5 +650

sexy fan said...

Cute post. I'm still mad at you.

Fake Blecher said...

MNF advertises a "Snickers Chompionship" and now I think I'll get me a Snickers. Or Two.

word of the day guyz said...

Bagnio! What a pull Rumpole.!!!

This historical term is mostly obsolete and rarely seen or used. In its most usual context a Bagnio was a Turkish or Italian Bathhouse.

In another obsolete context, a Bagnio was a term for a prison in Asian countries. But perhaps the context Rumpole was interested in was the use of Bagnio as a house of ill repute - a place where prostitutes are available. A bawdyhouse is another synonym.

In any event, a neat word that Rumpole has resurrected. You don't see Bagnio used on Markus's blog, that's for sure.

Real fake blecher said...

Hick. Portly one with a bad diet at that.

Anonymous said...

4 undefeated teams this late in the season; what's the history on that Rumpole?

Bizarro-Rumpole said...

Me making FORTUNE betting opposite of everything Rumpy picks.....Where you be, Solomon Grundy?

Anonymous said...

Filing for the Gov race is June 2010, with the election on Nov 2, 2010.

This blog will be on fire when it learns what I already know ... who would have the balls to run for Gov of the State of Florida? Who is known to faithful readers of this blog?

You will have to wait for the news.

CAPTAIN said...

to 6:26 am

Thank you and, I am flattered. However, I shall not seek and will not accept the nomination of my party to serve as Governor of this great state.

CAPTAIN OUT ....

CAPTAIN said...

From Florida Today:

State panel rebukes Brevard judge ...

"The Florida Supreme Court announced Monday it had received findings from the Judicial Qualifications Commission, which called for a public reprimand and $25,000 fine for Brevard County Judge Michelle Baker.

She was accused of implying in campaign material last year that her opponent and his supporters were corrupt.

The JQC said Baker suggested she had "greater diversity among her contributors" than incumbent Judge Oscar Hotusing, whose supporters she concluded, based solely on campaign finance reports, were mainly criminal defense attorneys.

"What does that say?" the ad continued. The last line, in italics, says: "What are they trying to buy?"

Commission officials said Baker "failed to maintain the dignity appropriate to judicial office and acted in a manner inconsistent with impartiality, integrity and independence of the judiciary."

Hotusing was a prosecutor for 13 years before serving two years on the county bench. He said he was the first to file a complaint with the Judicial Qualifications Commission in September. FLORIDA TODAY reported in November that at least 10 defense attorneys also filed complaints with the commission and the Florida Bar.

To read the entire article, go here:

http://www.floridatoday.com/
article/20091020/NEWS01/910200313/1006/Second+panel+rebukes+judge

Cap Out ...

Anonymous said...

You crack me up rump!

Anonymous said...

Rumpole
Since the mixer is at Delores', I must ask:Does anyone else remember DELORES, Hey you wheel me to Judge Snyder's Courtroom, you Fing sum aha bitch.....?
DS

Anonymous said...

Local Judge Terri Ann Miller had her JQC complaint dismissed for similar but, not as bad campaign violations. I guess her attorney, Mike Catalano made a better argument.

Anonymous said...

thanks for the update Mike!

Anonymous said...

You are welcome, jerk.

This is the real Mike. I am tried of all this bull.

Someone posts using my name and then five minutes later, some jerk assumes I sent it.

Assume... Makes and ass out of you and sometimes me.

Anonymous said...

At the mixer..... decent showing. More importantly, who is the new hot blonde PD that is towering above the rest with pearls??? Anyone know what courtroom she is in? Thanks, I'll be at the bar loading up on free drinks!!!