Wednesday, June 06, 2007



The blog North of the Border details a contretemps that has broken out among the Judges North of the Border about how they will elect a new Chief Judge.

As a public service to our readers, we summarize the various plans below:

THE ROSS PLAN. The current chief Judge has plans to carry out the election of his successor in this manner: At a date, time, and location known only to him and a few select Judges, they will meet, and vote for a new chief judge. Majority rules. Responding to criticism, Ross downplayed the possibility his hand picked successor would be elected. “This is America” Ross drawled, “stealing elections away from the popular vote is as American as minimum mandatory sentences. We here in Florida know that better than most.”

SURVIVOR. All candidates will be taken to a Latin America cafeteria on Calle Ocho. They must first order and eat breakfast. Then they must secure the check, pay for breakfast, hail a cab, and get to the Hialeah Branch Courthouse, where they will do a morning traffic calendar. Then they will be required to obtain transportation back to the Broward County Court house. Upon reaching the Courthouse North of the Border, they must scurry from courtroom to courtroom looking for a lawyer from Dade. First Judge to complete the challenges and hold a lawyer from Miami in contempt wins.

CELL PHONE SCRAMBLE. Judges will be stationed in Judge Illona Homes courtroom. At varying intervals, lawyers and defendants will have their cell phones ring. The Judge who wrestles the most cell phones away from participants, win.

All the Judges of the Seventeenth Judicial Circuit will enter a “Judicial Conclave.” They will be housed in a special wing of the Broward County Jail, called the "Broward County Basilica." No cell phones or contact with the outside world will be allowed. The Judges will meditate, pray, read the Florida Law Weekly, and listen to nominating speeches from judges advancing their own candidates. At any time, a Judge may call for a vote. The vote will be run by Judge Korda. If any candidate achieves a 2/3 vote plus one, Korda “will burn” specially treated “weed” that will emit a white, stickly sweet smelling smoke, announcing a winner. If no candidate gets the 2/3 vote plus one, Korda “will burn” a specially treated “weed” that emits a black smoke.

Upon the white smoke being seen, crowds will gather below the Broward County Jail "Basilica." Judge Ross will emerge with the new winner on a specially constructed balcony. Ross will ceremoniously hand over the chief judge’s gavel, and the new chief will wave the gavel over the admiring throng of lawyers that have gathered in the courtyard below the Basilica.

Rumpole says: whatever plan is chosen, given the current antics of our judicial friends North of the Border, the election should be fodder for bloggers. Based on the transgressions of their diversity committee (motto: “we few select special people meet in secret and decide your fate.”) is there any chance our dimwitted cousins to the north will pull this off without a faux pas?

We think not.

See You in Court, waiting for the white smoke.


Anonymous said...

Forget Broward, Trent Green is our new hot QB in tight pants.

Anonymous said...

This is important Rump -

Question: if 3rd DCA JNC member Ray Abadin is first cousins with applicant and nominee Sanchez, was there full disclosure of this to the JNC, the Candidates, the Governor, etc.?

Isn't this an improper conflict? Did Mr. Abadin actually vote for his cousin and try to influence other JNC members not to vote for others who he investigated in order to help his cousin?

There really appears to be reverse discrimination in Dade County Judicial appointments. IT is not the most qualified who get nominated and/or get appointed. Is Mr. Sanchez now the front runner over the others? Can you let us know what his qualifications are, especially if his connections through Hector Lombana, Mark Jimenez, Ray Abadin, Paul Huck, Judge Barbara Lagoa, etc. are all assisting him in his preparation for his interview with Gov. Crist? Who is Manny Kadre and Roberto Martinez pushing for? This is a crucial appointment and we will all be affected by the right or wrong choice....Rumpole, please comment on this....

Anonymous said...

signed "UP NAWTH"


Interviews for the THIRD DCA are this Friday. Five Nominees. Three don't have any chance. It is between Michael Hanzman and Ed Sanchez. Does the Governor need to appoint a Hispanic to this most important seat? Rumor from good sources: Governor Crist is on the short list of Vice President candidates in the upcoming Presidential election and he will be asked to deliver Florida, to wit: the influential Cuban vote. Hence, does Gov. Crist and his advisors go for Sanchez or White/Jewish candidate Hanzman. Thoughts?

The ol'huck-a-buck said...

I was in Federal Court today and my client got the Huck-a-buck. It was not fun.

Anonymous said...

After hearing some of the lawyers/ judges try to order food at Diana's Cafe across from 73 W. Flagler, I'm not sure the "Survivor" method is really feasible. Unless you criminal guys fair better in that department than the civil guys?

Frank Vincent said...

The following is an exchange of the members of the 3rd DCA JNC and their minions discussing how they are going to sabotage one of their nominees:

Anthony 'Kadre' Soprano Sr.: Listen to me, this guy was a Russian green beret. He was in the ministry of the interior or something. He single-handedly killed 16 Chechen rebels. Be fucking careful.

Paulie 'Marcos Jimenez' Gualtieri: All right.
[hangs up]

Christopher 'Abadin' Moltisanti: What did he say?

Paulie 'Marcos Jimenez' Gualtieri: He said the guy killed 16 Czechoslovakians, and he was an interior decorator.

Christopher 'Abadin' Moltisanti: Interior decorator? His appartment looked like shit.

Salvatore 'Coco' Cogliano said...

Christopher 'Pracitto' Moltisanti: Adriana, I want you to marry me. I got you a ring, and everything...
[shows her the ring]

Adriana's mother: There was a robbery at Tiffany's, this morning! I bet you there's pieces of broken glass in it!

Anonymous said...

Rump, did you ever confirm the Larry Sparks stuff?

Anonymous said...

Judges Blake and L. Schwartz REVERSED this week! See

the trialmaster said...

the trialmaster probably would have won the scooter libby trial. however, the trialmaster would never, never allow his client to speak to the FBI or the grands without involking the 5th, even if his client was innoncent. martha and scooter were victims of their own ignoranc as to how the feds can turn statements against one.

Anonymous said...

Somebody please conduct a study to confirm my suspicion: Is there a direct correlation between heavy rain and new and/or old clients not calling your office?

Anonymous said...

Well, with the departure of our beloved Judge Klein we will now join the rest of the State of Florida and have our Arthur Hearings held by the Division judges who will always be far too busy to schedule these cases that the Defendant's are guaranteed to by the Constitution. The next issue is whether the judges won't be thinking, subconsciously that is, whether it will be far easier to resolve the case by way of a plea if the Defendant is sitting in jail as opposed to out on bond.
Fast access to a hearing and independence mandates that the best procedure for Arthur Hearings is the tried and true method, a separate division that hears nothing but Arthur Hearings and a division that doesn't have any interest in the outcome of the proceedings. The ripple effects caused by the loss of Judge Klein is truly going to cause us to take a step backwards.

Anonymous said...

Rumpole, whats the Deal with Fast Gerry Klein?

What happened?

Rumpole said...

I do not know what happened to Judge klein. I may have to call JQC Rock JI to figure it out. I sent an email to Judges Blake and Slom, but neither of them think I'm important enough to respond to the email.

Anonymous said...

I heard they asked Gerry "you want to go home?, And he said yes.

Rumpole said...

Texas is about to execute its 15th-repeat 15th prisoner THIS YEAR.
Six months- fifteen executions.

Someday our children or grandchildren will look back on this and wonder why we just sat by and let it happen.

Anonymous said...

Judge Gerry Klien was forced out.

We need to lobby Farina to bring him back.

The SAO was mad that he was not sending habitual misdeanor cases to jail for a long time.

The guy with 10 priors for urinating in public was getting CTS and that made Rundle and gang mad.

Chant with me... Bring back Gerry, Bring back Gerry, Bring back Gerry.

Rumpole said...

Rump. From this day forward I nominate Judge Eig be forever known in the REGJB as 'THE BIG E"!

WHat say you rump de la rumpy de rump?

Anonymous said...




CAPTAIN said...


Rumpole, I am surprised at you. As a noted historian, I was surprised NOT to see something about this date in history.

63 years ago today, June 6, 1944, was D-Day; the day on which the Battle of Normandy began — commencing the Western Allied effort to liberate mainland Europe from Nazi occupation during World War II.

It is hard to conceive the epic scope of this decisive battle that foreshadowed the end of Hitler's dream of Nazi domination. The air, land, and sea operation landing included over 5,000 ships, 11,000 airplanes, and over 150,000 service men.

After years of meticulous planning and seemingly endless training, for the Allied Forces, it all came down to this: The boat ramp goes down, then jump, swim, run, and crawl to the cliffs. Many of the first young men (most not yet 20 years old) entered the surf carrying eighty pounds of equipment. They faced over 200 yards of beach before reaching the first natural feature offering any protection. Blanketed by small-arms fire and bracketed by artillery, they found themselves in hell.

When it was over, the Allied Forces had suffered nearly 10,000 casualties; more than 4,000 were dead. Yet somehow, due to planning and preparation, and due to the valor, fidelity, and sacrifice of the Allied Forces, Fortress Europe had been breached.

Tom Brokaw called them "the greatest generation". Words like duty, honor, country, commitment, and loyalty were part of that generation's moral fiber.

Today, we owe a great debt of gratitude to the men and women of our armed forces who stood up against the worst that WW II had to offer and overcame that great threat to our liberty.

CAPTAIN OUT .........

Anonymous said...

2:46- DONT BLAME IT ON THE RAIN. It's the summer time blues. your phone will start ring again come September.

Anonymous said...

If Christ is nominated for VP, I will absolutely vote for him and his running mate -- The White House will finally be returned to the democrats!


Ross: I’ve come to a decision. I’m gonna take that crew from the south out.
(turns to group of Judges sitting behind him.)
“Hey….get outta here. Scram. Now!!!.”
(Judges scatter away.)

Greene: I’m not saying I’m against it, but I have to counsel.

Ross. They gotta go. I should made the order when Weatherington retired. They're not a real family down there. They don’t have no respect for this thing of ours. When they make a Judge, there’s no blood, no sword or rifle on the table.

Spechler: It’s true. But take out a whole family. Marone.

Greene: Ain’t that a car dealership?

Ross. No that’s Maroone. Never mind I’m goona learn you a thing or three. 1) We take out the top leadership, Farina, Gordon, Simmons. Brown.

Spechler. Brown too? That Mortadella?

Greene: What? You were selling simple divorces outta the back of your crown vic before you became a member of the family.

Ross: Make it happen. I’m sick thinking of Farina calling me in friendship when I said I would resign.
I ain’t got no room for scraps in my scrap book. They’re gone. Make it happen.

Rumpole said...

I rarely comment on comments, but that is laugh out loud funny.

Thanks to the Broward Blog who re-printed my "choosing a chief the broward way on their blog."

And no, I'm not the Broward Blogger. I barely have enough time on my hands to keep "this thing of ours" running, what with the hits I already have out on me and all.

Live The Adventures of Captain Pro Se said...

Lets get ready to rumble. Get your seats early. Thursday, June 7, 2007, Oral argument will be at the RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING before three Circuit Court Judges to hear the appeal filed in the Appeal. This is an appeal from County Court Judge King.

The trumpet players have arrived early to set up for the arrival of "Captain Pro Se".

Will CPS be able to get his cape from the cleaners for Thursdays argument.

Will CPS be dragged screaming like a girl from the court.

Will CPS sue the appeals court.

Does anyone really care?

The adverntures of Captain Pro Se will be airing live on Court TV June 7, 2007.

Sponsored by Lexipro does a blog have you depressed? Try Lexipro.

Anonymous said...

What about Larry Sparks?

fake phil spector said...


Alex Michaels and his one man Roumanian Band featuring the hit You Tube Single, the Roumanian Tenderloin Twist.

One show only: Midnight.

Anonymous said...

Broward voted: We want to 100% swap our Judiciary for yours for one week. Will the Judges or the lawyers be first to shoot themselves in the head.

Anonymous said...

Funniest Soprano lines: When Paulie and Christopher are chasing a russian guy in the woods they are trying to kill, Tony is with the Russian guy's friend, who tells him the russian guy was with the Chechnyian Interior Ministery and killed 16 guys as a commando.
The cell phone connection is bad, and Paulie tells Christopher

"You're not gonna believe this. The guy killed 16 checkoslovakians and is an interior decorator."

Christopher says "His apartment didn't look that good."

Phil Leotardo said...

"I ain't got no room for scraps in my scrap book."

Phil Leotardo.

Anonymous said...

which 3 circuit judges have the appeal for CPS?

Anonymous said...

8:r3 AM, you are a racist jackass. The last slate of nominees to the Governor did not include any hispanics. Yet, if Crist chooses Sanchez, a well-regarded lawyer, it proves reverse discrimination in Dade County?

Anonymous said...

Forget Broward, will someone please fix Miami-Dade?

Chief Judge Farina must go!

Anonymous said...

To Wednesday, June 06, 2007 8:43:00 AM.

I think you are correct. All these JNC folks need to be investigated and trust me they will. Enough BS. They must go and down they will go.