WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

A Little Heaven In a Bun.

Over the past year as readership of our fair blog has steadily increased, we have guarded our posts, ever mindful of the fleeting nature of the trust our readers have bestowed upon us.

It is thus with great trepidation and only on rare occasions that we have strayed from our self appointed rounds as guardians and commentators on all things legal as they relate to the REGJB.

This is one of those occasions.

It was probably not DeTocqueville, (to whom we have been flatteringly compared to in the comments section) who observed that Americans can be divided into two camps. Perhaps it was someone more recent who had the flavor of the common man. In any event, we agree that Americans are two distinct peoples, into a particular camp one is easily placed, if the discerning eye knows what to look for.

Sliced tomato or gilled onions? Plain, or with a pickle spear? Ketchup (horrors!) or mustard?

We are speaking of course of whether you take your Hot Dog Chicago Style-dragged through the garden, or not.

The Chicago Style Dog starts with a Vienna beef hot dog, steamed to 170 degrees.

A slice of tomato (that will become important later) a dill pickle spear, some onions, relish, a dash of celery salt and mustard, all on a poppy seed bun, steamed soft and hot.

To those of us who have stood in line at the Bunny Hutch in Lincolnwood, it is a shrine to all that is good, and simple, and American. You can have Coney Island, with the dog and bun grilled, and ketchup-the ultimate insult. But then again, you can have New York lock stock and barrel, with their superior attitude, sour faces and sauerkraut, and burnt buns.

It was therefore with great surprise and delight that a few nights ago on our way to the cinema we happened upon Liberty Hot Dogs, proudly offering The Chicago Style dog.

A wanted sign should be hung up for the proprietors: dirty dog dealers, who are purveyors of fraud, pure and simple. Any decent Chicagoan should kick these miserable curs in their buns wherever they may be found.

Perhaps our first indication that all was not right was when the dog came out of the steamer and on to the grill.

We protested loudly: "Chicago style dogs are not grilled madam!"
only to be met with a disappointing: "Que?"

Next was a bowl of chopped tomatoes splashed on top- a sin. Followed by a sour pickle, another sin, some raw green peppers- a crunchy blasphemy, and perhaps the only three words of Americana this thief in a chef's hat knew: "Ketchup? Mayonnaise? Mustard? "

All was lost.

Mayonnaise?

There outta be a law.


Certain traditions need to be upheld. The line needs to be drawn and manned with those who can both protect - and serve a tomato properly sliced.

Would you serve pastrami at Noche Buena?

Would you serve chopped liver at Thanksgiving?

So we turn to the power of the pen, and in the traditions of our forefathers whose pamphlets in Philadelphia formed the basis for our Constitution, we take to writing our complaints and posting them for all to see.

For shame Liberty Dogs!

May your mayonnaise curdle and may your time serving such swill upon Miami be short.

It's almost worth a case North of the Border just to pay a stop at Reno'
s where our taste buds can be rejuvenated and our faith in America restored.



Note the sliced tomato and sliced dill pickle.

60 comments:

Anonymous said...

the best "hots" are still at don and bobs in rochester new york.

Anonymous said...

i believe I see a reflection in the spear....it is....

roman maronie said...

First, can't be a dirty water dog. Grilled, diced onions, sorry Rumpole, KETCHUP AND MUSTARD, Uually two Ball Park sized ones will suffice. There's a place in Broward called Hot Dog Heaven if you have to make the trek up.

The lady in front of our fair courthouse is cool and makes a good dog even though it's a dirty water dog. The Italian Joint across the street, "Gangstas" has unreal food. Meals are named after dead mob guys. Cool hangout if you get stuck in Hazard, I mean, Broward.

Thank you Very Much.
Roman Maronie

Rumpole said...

You sir, are in the other camp, your identity easily discerned by your crass need to use ketchup and have your dog grilled. Please take your can of Schlitz, stained tee shirt, and belch in the rear of the bus.

Renos in Broward by the airport is the place. Chicago style is the dog. City of Broad Shoulders, hog butcher to the world, home to cubs, bulls, bears, black hawks and white sox. A simple bun, pickle tomtato and mustard-never have so few done so much with so little for so many.

Anonymous said...

Rumpole, my good man. Have you forgotten your heritage? Shepard's Pie and a pint for the lot of you!

Anonymous said...

Broward has garbage food. Trash. Broward's justice system is garbage. Broward's state attorney is a garbage collector. Broward's public defender is help me Howard. Pure trash.

Take out the trash. Vote Roman.

Anonymous said...

Dogma, Biscayne and 50th-ish
Arbetter's, Bird and 87th Ave

Anonymous said...

nice pic, but you otta rename it the GINA JOSIE AND MIGDA

Elliot Ness said...

Now we know that "Rumpole" either grew up in or has spent time in the Chicagoland area (and for some reason does not like the Chicago Bears). This is a major clue in tracking down his identity, and I am 80% sure that I now know who Rumpole is.

Rumpole said...

oopps! Oh my (hands to mouth). What have I done? Oh my ohmyohmy. How could I have been so stupid. Tripped up by a hot dog. Drats.

Anonymous said...

oh my... one can certainly have appreciation for things Chicagoland without having lived or been raised there... its legends travel widely and the discerning leisure visitor can absorb its energy without difficulty...

Fake Shuminer said...

I have discerned my share [burb] of hotdogs in my [brurrap] day.

Fake Jay White said...

I eat my frankfurter with a knife and fork and pinky raised. Preferably in formal evening wear. Ahem.

Anonymous said...

I for one would like to see Rumpole make restaurant reviews a weekly component of the blog.
Rump- a Poll on restaurant reviews???

Anonymous said...

I don't know who mentioned D and B's in Rochester, but it is by and far the best restaraunt in the world. Too bad they moved the original one from Monroe Ave

Anonymous said...

gotta go to Al's on Taylor Street in chicago for the best italian beef, and wrigley field is still the best happy hour around. Don't forget to enjoy an 18oz can of Old Style, or treat yourself to a frosty cold bottle of special export. go bears!

The Profiler said...

i opined months ago that Rumpole was from the midwest. i added northeast to the mix, but my strongest belief was midwest. this mostly based on his diluted use of lower east side yiddish, reeking of midwest upbringing.

tops it off by liking a dirty water dog with vegetables on it, ugh! and sloppy to boot. look for the pickle and tomato stains on a shirt for rumpoles identity.

a dog ought to be eaten only one way. hebrew national (or sabrett), grilled, with brown mustard. true hot dog eaters answer to a higher authority.

Anonymous said...

grilled? nasty. gotta go dirty water dog.

Anonymous said...

damn i wanna try one of those liberty dogs. location please???

Spiderman said...

Grey's Papaya, NYC.

Rumpole said...

Anonymous pondered:

tops it off by liking a dirty water dog with vegetables on it, ugh! and sloppy to boot. look for the pickle and tomato stains on a shirt for rumpoles identity.

a dog ought to be eaten only one way. hebrew national (or sabrett), grilled, with brown mustard. true hot dog eaters answer to a higher authority.

Rumpole replies- I have always admitted to having stains on my shirts, ties, not to mention suits.
Of course that comment was written by some elitiest NY fancy-pants who probably gets 1 hour martinizing.

As to the location of said Liberty Dogs- its at Sunset place. I would advise eating a full meal before wasting your money on a fake frank there.

Anonymous said...

Mmmm. Lets eat!

PD Pete said...

The truth is that the J in Alan J Shuminer stands for Jehosaphat!!

Anonymous said...

what ever happened to pete the cat ferrero?

Anonymous said...

The French Fries are very cleverly arranged to spell the first three letters of rumpole's real name in semaphore...but not english semaphore. I've got you now Mr. Vxz...

Anonymous said...

I have solved several rumpole clues. Here is what I believe:

BRIAN TANNEBAUM IS RUMPOLE.

Everything points to him EXCEPT he has not been around long enough to discuss certain Judges, lawyers and events. AHA! But Mr. Tannebaum is nothing if not clever. That is why when he speaks with old timers he makes careful notes of things like Judge Baker, PD Owen Chin, Richard Gerstein, etc. It's not that hard to do. Just buy Judge Glick a cup of coffee and get him to talk.

So If you add Tannebaum plus a working knowldege of older events, everything starts to come into focus. What say you Tannebaum/Rumpole? Guilty or Not Guilty.

eVEN sTEVEN said...

I am warning you now. For all you partying judges and lawyers and interns, I have spies everywhere. Have a credit card rejected? I will find out. 45 yr old bald lawyer hits on a 19 yr old club girl and gets rejected, I will hear about it. Judge dancing with lamp on her head? i will get the pictures.

I am everywhere New Years On So Beach. Downtown Miami. The Forge. Vail. St. Thomas. You name it- I will find out about it.

I am even steven. Everything works out in the end.

Anonymous said...

NO!!! The "J" in Alan J. Schuminer stands for JERK.

PD pete said...

Very soon you could hear this:

I have a trial before Judge Adrien, Judge Culpepper-Marino denied a continuance first time up and wants to start voire dire at 11am, Judge Faber wants to do a motion to suppress immediately, and only Judge Cohn is being reasonable about all of this.

*sigh* look what we have sunk to.

Anonymous said...

No the J stands for Just get me the car, no questions asked.

Anonymous said...

NO!! The J stands for Just one more cookie, please?

even steven said...

wanna guess what member of the Miami judiciary is flying to michigan for the funeral of President Ford???

Anonymous said...

President Ford. Well, he was no Simon Steckel, but he was ok I guess.

Anonymous said...

Fake Chris Schuminer says:

You got it right 3:49. If you are a man I want to meet you. You're my kind of guy. If you are a woman, I guess I want to know how you know that Alan is a "Jerk.

Anonymous said...

The Weiner Circle on Clark...after hours...

Anonymous said...

Hey, even steven....get a real life. Who cares about what you think you know?

The Profiler said...

add this to the tannebaum possibility:

Rumpole has admitted that he networks with other lawyers who run other blogs, some may even fill in from time to time. Tannebaum is very involved in FACDL which would put him into contact with other lawyers around the country/state.

but, brian was born in miami, florida on July 1, 1969, went to undergrad at USF in Tampa and Stetson Law School. doubtful he stood in line at some dog joint in chitown waiting for blue-vein vienna weenies.

Anonymous said...

Best hot dog on the face on the Earth: Rutt's Hut, on Rte 3 between Passaic and Newark, NJ. Deep-fried (order it ripped, i.e., fried until the skin just rips). Then mustard, and possibly the best home-made relish ever. and the chili....

Anonymous said...

Response to what even steven said...
wanna guess what member of the Miami judiciary is flying to michigan for the funeral of President Ford???

Thursday, December 28, 2006 3:53:11 PM

My guess is Victoria Brennan

Richard M Nixon said...

I’m back!

You think I’d let that lunkhead get all the publicity? I made that little twerp and I can break him. Before me he was minority leader of the house- his big goal was to be majority leader. Like the Republicans would really have won the house in 76, after all the damage I did. He was going to retire if the republicans didn't win the house in 76 !!! Sell golf club memberships. I gave him the chance of a lifetime- the chance of 10 lifetimes.
And by the way, when he went to the House to testify-some big magnanimous move as President- when he testified there was no deal, he lied. Lied.

I sent Haig to Ford on August 1 and said- Al- you tell that little twerp that if I resign- and that’s a big if- I want a full and complete pardon, and I want it in writing now. Pronto. Well you know Haig- not much for original thinking , but if you give him an order-take that hill- well by jeezus he will take that hill. So Haig went to Ford and got me the pardon, and then I decided, on my own terms, when I was ready to leave.

Plus, I am responsible for the Reagan revolution. That’s right. Me. R Millhouse. Polling data shows Jerry the jerk lost by less than 2 million votes. 7% of republicans defected and voted for Carter because of the pardon. So Cater got in, and Regan took down Jimmy C.

Back to Ford the faker.

He gets honors from the House AND Senate? Give me a break. Want to know the last President who was a congressman and a senator before becoming President? Yours truly. Ford was never a senator, but because I made him veep- he got to sit in the senate, pick his nose, and break some ties. BFD.

Do you remember the stuff he came up with? WIN? Whip Inflation Now? Mygawd is that lame. Oh, and by the way Mr. President, in 1975, when you debated Carter, Poland most certainly was under Soviet influence.

By the way, now that I’m back again, I may run. Yup, you heard me right. Seems that because I did not serve two full terms, I can run. And I can get us out of this mess.

Rumsfeld and Cheney caused this mess you say? Well, who gave you Rumsfeld and Cheney? Ford, that’s who. Ford made Rumsfeld his chief of Staff, and Rummy brought in Cheney- 33 years old at the time. Then Ford canned Schlessinger as SECDEF and moved Rummy to defense and allowed Rummy to make Cheney Chief of Staff. Now look what those two jokers have done to the country. Not too pretty, I’d say.

So lets put this Michigan fluke in the ground and get on with things. Don’t get all weepy and stuff. He was president for what- 865 days or so? I’ve held my bowels longer than that.

So I’m back. I’m looking forward to 08. Clinton? I’ve whipped tougher women than her. Remember Helee Gahagan-Douglas? I whipped her pink butt for the Senate in 50-said she was the Pink Lady and was pink right down to her underwear. OK- so she came up with the name Tricky-Dick. But I still beat her silly and will do the same to Mr. Hillary. Edwards will be the tough one to beat. But I’ll come up with something. I’ve got two years to come up with something.

Bye for now.

Anonymous said...

I knew rumpole and b.t., you are no rumpole

karma police said...

judge miller
judge gordon
judge gendon
judge espanosa-dennis
next time around,
this is what you get...
when you mess with us.....

karma police said...

oposition that is..

Rumpole said...

You "knew" rumpole? is there something about me I don't know?

Anonymous said...

you're dead.
eds dead baby. eds dead.

Rumpole said...

No I'm alive and kicking, and will be for sometime.

Anonymous said...

profiler, what about the theory of tannebaum and markus co-blogging as rumpole? they each have separate blogspot blogs,,,,,,, maybe they do this one together?

karma police said...

markus and tannenbaum = rumpole?

get a grip....

rumpole is either:
phil in conjuction with jackie via blackberry or, naftali wachs in conjuction with the metro 89 bus driver.

what band said? said...

"you try this trick and it's spinning but there is nothing in it so you say, where is my mind?"

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said:

Best hot dog on the face on the Earth: Rutt's Hut, on Rte 3 between Passaic and Newark, NJ. Deep-fried (order it ripped, i.e., fried until the skin just rips). Then mustard, and possibly the best home-made relish ever. and the chili....

You sir are correct, except their best hotdog was the "creamator", grilled to perfection.

But now that I have said that, yo dog, what are we doing talking about hot dogs on a criminal justice website? I know the last week in December is the slowest week of the year but Rump, you really could discuss some meatier items that the best hot dogs.

I'm faklept. Here's some topics for while I'm getting over the direction the website has recently taken ...

1. Was a certain "maximum" judge of yesteryear getting kickbacks on court appointments?
2. Which judges give the best trials for:
the prosecution,
the defense,
both sides?
3. Which judges are the most pleasant to appear before?
4. Which judges are the least pleasant to appear before?
5. Which lawyer would YOU hire (for real, no bottom feeders named here, please) if you or your kid were arrested for:
murder,
rape,
drugs,
domestic violence,
DUI?
6. Which prosecutors are the best to deal with? The worst? (and why).
7. Which young public defenders are the next generation of great defense attorneys? Which prosecutors?
8. Who are the smartest judges in the building?
9. Who are the best judges in the building?
10. Is Janet Reno the reason that Bush became President (because she requested that an "independent" prosecutor be appointed to investigate Whitewater, which morphed into Lewinskygate, which lead to the impeachment vote, which led to Gore forsaking Clinton during his campaigning ... well, you know the rest). BTW, isn't it interesting that no Republican Attorney General has sought an "independent" investigation into any of Bush's activities?

Get back on track Rumpster or we may have to pull your barristers license (I am presuming that you ARE a barrister and not a solicitor).

The Big Lebowski said...

Nothing Like a Debate over a Hot Dog Rumpole!

Ok, I'm not opposed to the dirty water dog, I'll also throw in a musard only variety. Will definitely try Reno's. Outta curiousity, is that Hot Dog joint named after Janet Reno?

Shocker, Roman in some wackadoo other tent!

How bout favoirte candy bar?

Clearly, Baby Ruth. (Although it pains me to say that b/c I'm a Red Sox Fan)

Anonymous said...

renos has nothing to do with janet

Anonymous said...

I laughed my ass off when I read the "Nixon" post!

roman maraonie aka: The Dude said...

I'm acutely aware that Reno's is not named after Janet. Sorry, sometimes I'm a bit too esoteric. And, obviously, a Big Lebowski Fan. Don't piss on my rug man. I'm joking about Reno. I will try to upload the Big Lebowski Personality Test here but I don't think the html codes will work. If not, just click on my link, scroll down, and take the test. It's damn funny.

Ok MAN!

JUST SAY NO... TO DIRTY WATER DOGS!

The Big Dawg said...

Anybody ever hear of an "italian style" hot dog? Theres a place in Newark called Jimmie Buffs and there used to be a place in broward called LeBruto's. They fry the dogs with peppers, onions, and potatoes. They put it in something called pizza bread. Yummmmmmmmmmmm!!!

Jason Grey said...

Spiderman is correct Grey's papaya NYC(no relation). Try Fat lou's on hallendale beach just east of 95 good chi- town dogs

Anonymous said...

Viva Nixon!

Anonymous said...

On behalf of all my Chicago born Polish Americans brethren,I would add that If you like our hot dogs you should really try our Pierogi. Whether your kicking back at the Chicago Symphony Orchesta, hanging out at the Adler Planetarium or chilling a Frank Loyd Wright's Oak Park crib, nothing says Chicago like a Pierogi and an Old Style Draft.

Tom Cobitz

Anonymous said...

Rutt's Hut is money. My cousin used to work there, they'd average two ambulances a week there. I was there once when paramedics had to use the defibralator(sp?) on a guy in the place. Artery clogging goodness!

Anonymous said...

no way tannenbaum and markus are rumpole, both have egos WAY too big to do anything anonymously.

but to be fair their egos pale in comparison to eiglarsh