Best president ever.
No one's ever seen a president like this one.
Big tax reform. Biggest ever. No one could do tax reform like this.
Big steel tariffs. Biggest ever. No one has ever seen tariffs like this.
Best tariffs ever. They say it couldn't be done. The experts said it shouldn't be done. That it would ruin the economy. But what do they know? Have they run hotels into bankruptcy? No. Have they run a successful Trump-Wine, Trump-Steak, Trump-Water, and Trump-College business? No.
So I know tariffs. Terrific, beautiful, wall-building tariffs.
Memo to self: tariffs on Mexicans? Tariffs on Muslims? Tariffs on Hillary? Tariffs on CNN and the failing NY Times? Could be done. Would be beautiful. Amazing.
Very fun week. Fired Hope. Fired Gary. Fired that Mexican Gardner who grew flowers for Obama. He was hiding for a while in the sheds, but I had the NSA fly a satellite overhead and we nailed him like we nailed Bin-Laden. Obama takes credit for that. But we did that. Not Obama. Trump. Fake News says Obama killed Bin Laden. But Fox news knows it was me. Bullet to his head while he tried to shoot me. Anyway, found this Pedro gardener and I had the 82nd airborne do a drop and I came running out screaming "Pedro you're fired!" It was a thing of beauty. No one's ever seen anything like it.
Big Big News. There were some stormy times with North Korea. Oooops. Not Stormy. Can't use the Stormy word. That's a big fake media thing. Anyway, we had some tough times with Rocket Man. Then he asked to talk to me. ME! Not Hillary. Not Obama. Not Richard Nixon or Jared or General Patton. But me. And I said yes. Then no. Then yes. Then maybe. No one knows but me. ME! I know.
So I'm going to meet the head of North Korea. Mao Zedong. Lil Ol'Rocket Man. Sushi-eatin North Korean Jap. Should have nuked him when Patton Nuked Japan. I'm going to have Elton John sing his rocket man song when we meet. On TV. Fox. A special. Trump meets Rocket Man Mao. Will get terrific ratings. Gonna need a host. One of those Fox babes in the short skirts. Not Stormy. But another one.
Big rally in Pennsylvania on Saturday. I won Pennsylvania. Won it all. No one's ever seen a win in Pennsylvania like the one I won. Biggest line was death penalty for drug dealers. Lots of applause. So I've been thinking...
Death Penalty for Murderers. Death Penalty for ANY crime committed by a Muslim or a Mexican. First that, then expand to all Arabs and all South Americans not just Mexican South Americans. Death Penalty for Speeding. Speeding kills. Death penalty for vandalizing a Trump Golf Course. And of course Death Penalty for Media. No one loves the First Amendment more than me. But enough is enough. So all news=death. Also Death Penalty for Hillary. No more lock-her-up. Now it's zap-her! Plus her husband. A president who cheated on his wife....scratch that. Bill's fine. Just Hillary.
Death Penalty for having an affair. No one loves marriage and woman more then me. If a man has an affair. Death penalty.
And Pedro that White House gardener. Let's grab him and kill him and then deport him. And Jeff Sessions. And The Secretary of State, whaz his name? Kill em too. And Bannon. And Vermont. Vermont Didn't Vote for me. Death penalty to everyone who didn't vote for Trump.
It's been a great week diary. Full of love and life and success. And the Death Penalty. A beautiful wall tariff death penalty. Best President thing ever.