Wednesday, April 24, 2013

TWITTER HACK AND CONTINUATION OF NFL DRAFT

Much like the AP yesterday, our twitter @justicebuilding was also hacked yesterday. So we feel compelled to straighten the record and deny the following tweets you may have read yesterday:

1) Alex Michaels did not take a swing at a prosecutor in court this week. 
2) Joel Brown has not applied for a county court judge position. 
3) Will Thomas did NOT turn down an appointment to Federal District Court because "Congress took too damn long and I got tired of waiting."
4) The Marlins were NOT beaten by a little league team from Pinecrest. 
5) The 3rd DCA has NOT created a "best of Milt Hirsch orders we reversed" tab on their website. 
6) Milt Hirsch is NOT requiring all pleas to take place in Olde English.  "Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
  And the mome raths outgrabe..." (roughly translated: "did anyone make you any promises in exchange for this plea?")

And Now,  the Blog mock draft ( (c) Rumpole 2013) continues:


10.  Tennessee Titans Rumpole:
The pick here is Guard Chance Warmack from Alabama. 6' 2", 317   pounds. Former Hall Of Famer Guard and current Head Coach Mike Munchak  is a natural choice to select the first guard in the draft. Personally, we think the better pick is the best TE in the draft: Tyler Eifert from Notre Dame. But odds are Munchak sticks to his roots and takes a chance on Chance. 

11. San Diego Chargers  David Ovalle
Still laughing at the draft overreach by the arch-rival Raiders, the San Diego Chargers had tough questions to ponder. Can Matt Barkley replace bum quarterback Phillip Rivers and live up to the legacy of the great Stan Humphries? Can Robert Woods supplant mega-star wideout Eddie Royal? Can TJ McDonald live up to his pedigree and not miss tackles in a pro defense? But after scouring prospects of the mighty USC Trojans, new general manager Tom Telasco betrays the will and desire of Southern California football fans by not selecting from the ranks of the cardinal-and-gold. Instead, the San Diego Chargers, unhappy with the o-line picks left on the board, select Utah defensive tackle Star Lotulelei

12. Miami Dolphins - The Captain


Horace, I'll trade you two Michael Egnews and one Pat White for your first pick in the draft. (What's an Egnew you ask?). Oh, the Dolphins Draft. Woe is me who gets the honor of predicting what pile of -hit Jeff Ireland will step into this year. The Miami Dolphins finished off the 2012 campaign with a 7-9 season and did not even sniff the playoffs, yet again. From 1990-2001 they appeared in the playoffs in nine of those years; since then, they have been in the post-season only once.


This year the Fins needs are in four areas: OT, CB, DE, and TE. All Fins Fans are waiting to see if Ireland pulls off the trade with the Chiefs by Thursday and nabs left OT Branden Albert. If that doesn't happen, and the three best OT's in the draft, Fisher, Jockie, & Johnson are gone (as they are here), then the Fins will pray that current Fin Jonathan Martin can fill the large shoes of Jake Long at the blind side position. The only other OT high enough to consider is DJ Fluker. So, instead the Fins will look to replace Sean Smith, who left in free agency, and Vontae Davis, who left to visit his grandmother,  and the easy money is on a CB out of Alabama, Dee Milliner. Lots of Fins Faithful are pulling for the TE out of Notre Dame, Tyler Eifert or the big Guard out of North Carolina, Jonathan Cooper. As for the D-line, with Ansah long gone, the only other star is FSU's Bjoern Werner. With the 12th pick in the 2013 draft, the Miami Dolphins choose Dee Milliner, CB, Alabama. Captain Out ....

13. New York Jets (from Tampa Bay Buccaneers)  52nd Street Irwin: As the crowd at Radio City is chanting J..E..T..S  JETS JET JETS...the commissioner strolls to the podium and pauses a moment as the frenzy of the gang green fans reaches fever pitch.  Rex Ryan cannot get over his good luck as Jarvis Jones is still out there. Visions of Jones and Mingo running stunts are making him dizzy. But Rex isn't making the calls by himself anymore. And while Jones is the best pick at 13, the Jets do need to replace Revis at cornerback. Those are big shoes to fill and there are three very good CBs ready to be taken: Xavier Rhodes, Desmond Trufant and Jonathan Banks. Rex and the Jets are still chuckling over the Dolphins misguided decision to draft a corner back who won't even be healthy enough (by his own admission) to participate in any training camps until late August. Then as the Jets get ready to phone in their pick they remember that they also need a tight end and the number one rated TE is still on the board. The time is ticking down. Rex contemplates grabbing the phone and shouting "Jones!" into it before his GM could wrestle him to the ground.  The Panthers are getting ready to run to the podium to select Jarvis Jones when the call is made and the ticket is handed to the commissioner who over the din of screaming Jets fans calmly announces: " with the 13th pick in the 2013 NFL Draft (J..E...T...S.. JETS Jets jets) the NY Jets select .....Jonathan Banks, Cornerback, Mississippi State."  Of the three available (healthy..hahahha stupid doll-fins) CBs, the Jets love the fact that Banks is the tallest and has soft hands and can run with the rock when he grabs it. 


14.  Carolina Panthers  Carolina On My Mind
52nd Street is correct: The Panthers are thrilled Jarvis Jones is still on the board. But then there are those health risks with his back (spinal stenosis) and the Panthers are lucky that their need - A defensive tackle- has coincided with the fact that the best player is still on the board. Shledon Richardson, 6' 2" 294 is an athletically gifted Defensive Tackle from Missouri.  He is a little bit bigger than Floyd and a bit smaller than Lotulelei, but he has a big motor and is a playmaker. The Panthers fill a need and take the best player on their board and draft Sheldon Richardson, DT, from Missouri, 


15.  New Orleans Saints  Bourbon Street Bob
Under new defensive coordinator Rob Ryan, the Saints are transitioning to a press-heavy scheme in the secondary with an emphasis on big, long-armed DBs capable of matching up physically with Julio Jones and Vincent Jackson in the NFC South.  Dominic Rhodes was the fourth tallest corner at the Combine, second heaviest, and had the third longest arms. But the Saints  just signed Pittsburgh cornerback Keenan Lewis. While the Steelers were frantically calling the Panthers to jump ahead of the Saints and nab Jarvis  Jones, Rump doesn't allow trades and the best linebacker in the draft falls to Rob Ryan and the Saints. With the fifteenth pick in the 2013 draft the New Orleans Saints get the steal of the draft and select Jarvis Jones, OLB, Georgia. 

16.  St. Louis Rams  Fake Risivy
Not many blog readers realize that Fake Risivy is a St. Louis native who loves some good St. Louis Bar-be-que. The Rams need a wide receiver and I am going to go with the open secret in St. Louis. In my opinion the best WR left is Corrdarrelle Patterson, but everyone -even the people under the big arch- know that the Rams love DeAndre Hopkins. The Rams sent half their staff to Clemson this week to work him out privately. So that is who the Rams select with the 16th pick- DeAndre Hopkins.

17.  Pittsburgh Steelers Mean Joe
Mean Joe is in a bad mood. He is not going to be tossing his jersey to no kid with a coke. The Steelers wanted Jarvis Jones and he's gone. Now the team looks at the tight end from Notre Dame, along with a couple of the cornerbacks and wide receivers still left. The Steelers think about Eddie Lacy the Alabama running back,  but decide there are few good ones they can get in rounds two and three.  There is a split in the war room. Half the staff wants to grab Bjoern Werner the defensive end from Florida State while the other half wants the safety from Texas. Meanwhile Ben Roethlisberger is telling anyone who will listen that he would love a big, tall receiver. But Troy Palamalu is getting old and he rarely stays healthy for a season and the kid from Texas is just too good. With the 17th selection in the 2013 draft, for the second time in their history (Palamalu was the first) the Steelers select a safety in the first round- Kenny Vaccaro, University of Texas. 
18. Dallas Cowboys -Real Fake Former Judge. 
The Cowboys need some help on the defensive line. And those remaining cornerbacks sure look nice and some of the wide receivers look very tempting. But there is the top rated player left on their board who they just can't pass up. Fred Moreno is smiling as with the 18th pick in the 2013 draft the Cowboys select Tyler Eifert, tight end, Notre Dame.

19. New York Giants Eli- Eli- O.
The Giants need a guard pure and simple and there are two good ones available.  Menelik Watson, 6' 5" 310, Florida State and Jonathan Cooper, 6' 2", 311, North Carolina.  There's two good safeties and a bunch of good wide receivers left, but Giants left guard Kevin Boothe is a sub-average starter working on a one-year deal and Right guard Chris Snee is 31 and coming off hip surgery. I would not be surprised to see RB Eddie Lacy also be a surprise pick here, but in some draft boards Cooper is a top ten talent. I like a guard to be 6' 2" rather than 6' 5" because it is easier to get low and stay low and get leverage on the d-lineman. With the 19th pick in the 2013 draft, the New York Football Giants select Jonathan Cooper, Guard, North Carolina. 

20. Chicago Bears  Clay Kaeiser
   Conventional wisdom has the Bears trading down to load up with picks un the middle rounds, and I tend to agree with this, because new coach Marc Trestman wants to put his imprint on the team and needs a lot of young, fast, and talented football players who he can brainwash/"get to buy into his system."  This draft is said to be loaded with good picks in the second and third round.  If the Bears do have to make a first round pick from the players left in this draft,I think it would be CB Marcus  Desmond Trufant, from Washington, who seems destined for a great pro career and would fit right into a solid but aging Bears defensive backfield.

 21. Cincinnati Bengals  Fake Freddy Moldovan.

The Bengals have a need at right tackle, and lookee lookee here, there is a right guard just sitting and waiting to go to Cincinnati and practice against new free agent acquisition James Harrison: D.J. Fluker, 6’5” 339 pounds from Bama. And Menelik Watson,  6’ 5”, 310 Florida State, is also available. But the problem is that the Bengals just love Jonathan Cyprien, the hard hitting safety from Florida International who arrives at the ball in a hurry and in a bad mood. This is a close call, but Fluker is just too good a talent to over look. The Bengals choose the big boy from BamaWho dey? Who dey? Who dey say can beat dem Bengals? 

22. St. Louis Rams (From Redskins)  Fake Risivy

The Rams breathed a big sigh of relief when the Bengals passed on Cyprien. Even with the earlier pick, the  Rams still need help at wide receiver, but like running back, WR is a position that can be very well filled in rounds two through six. Mike Wallace was a third round pick a few years ago. So the Rams take Jonathan Cyprien as the wide receivers in this draft continue to fall (outside of the Raiders who always screw everything up.).

23. Minnesota Vikings Fake Alex Michaels

Vhy I have to wait so long to pick? It should be I see player, I like player, I draft player and nobody stop me. Vell, I guess I have to play by rules. Vikings need wide receiver. All idiots who pick before me let all deese wide receivers fall and I vill scoop them up. Cordarrelle Paterson is not best receiver at Tennessee. Justin Hunter, 6’ 4”, 196 is better. Vikings take him. So there

24. Indianapolis Colts  Caribbean Cigars


Colts love the fact that Fake Alex Michaels was picking for Vikings. His emotions always get the best of him. Cordarrelle Paterson is a top twenty pick. Keenan Allen, the WR from Cal is 6’ 2”, and is a very polished route runner. Either receiver will be valuable asset for second year QB Andrew Luck.  Allen is more NFL ready, but Paterson has the higher upside. The Colts have a year to bring him along. With the  24th pick in the NFL draft the Indianapolis Colts select Cordarrelle Paterson, WR, Tennessee. 

25. Minnesota Vikings (from Seattle Seahawks) Fake Alex Michaels. 


I’m back again, like bad penny, you cannot get rid of me. 

Vikings would shock world by taking Keenan Allen. Two wide receivers in two picks in first round is insane. Did someone just say my name? Nah, Vikings not stupid, and neither am I. It’s time for defense for Vikes. Damontre Moore from Texas AM was a defensive end in college. But at 6-4, 250 pounds he will make the transition to outside linebacker in the NFL.  The pick is either Moore or Alec Ogletree , the inside linebacker from Georgia who is a one man wrecking crew. More has about ten more pounds on Ogletree and the Vikings need an outside rusher. Dey pick Damontre Moore. 

26. Green Bay Packers  Mr. Cheesious. 
Is it possible Fake Alex Michaels just picked Damontre Moore as a convert to a linebacker when Bjoern Werner  a top twenty pick is still on the board? A 6-3 266 pound defensive end from Florida State, Werner has so much more athleticism and upside than either Moore or Olgletree, it isn't funny. Packers consider safety Matt Elam, the strong safety from Florida along with some of the wide receivers, but Werner is too good an athlete to pass up. With the 26th pick in the 2013 draft, the Pack grabs Bjoern Werner, DE, Florida State. 

27. Houston Texans  Tex An Twon
The Texans are looking for a WR to add to their potent offense. Keenan Allen, 6' 2, 206, from California has deceptive speed and is a very polished route runner. He might not have the potential of Cordarelle Paterson, but he is an NFL starter from day one. With the 27th pick in the 2013 draft the Texans select Keenan Allen, WR, Cal. 

28. Denver Broncos  Ski Bum
This could be the spot for embattled Linebacker Manti Te'o. But remember why the Broncos got knocked out of the playoffs? A cornerback who let a Raven WR get behind him? The Broncos will grab a corner here and Xavier Rhodes, the 6-2 corner from Florida State has fallen all the way into the 28th spot where the Broncos end his free fall so long as Rhodes promises them one thing: to never, ever , ever let a receiver get behind him in the playoffs in the 4th quarter with the game on the line. 
29. New England Patriots Cheater.  
The Pats become the second team to take a good hard look at Mati T'eo, and the more they look at how he was manhandled by Bama in the title game, the more they don't like him. They're looking at some wide receivers but the defensive talent on the board catches Belichick's eye. He can grab the Georgia Linebacker Alec Ogletree,  safeties Matt Elam or Eric Reid, defensive end Cornellius (Tank)  Carrradine or defensive tackle Sylvester Williams. It's an embarrassment of riches here at 29.....but with time running out Belichick remembers that Sylvester Williams is a virtual twin of 12 year Patriot veteran Gerard Warren. Warren's career is winding down and why not let him train his replacement? With the 29th pick of the 2013 NFL draft the NE Patriots select Sylvester Williams, defensive end, North Carolina. 

30. Atlanta Falcons   Rhett Butler, Esq. 
The Falcons need to beef up on defense and because of his ACL injury in November they were expecting Tank Carradine to fall to them, and he has. Carradine ran a 4.9 in the combine five months after surgery, so he appears fully recovered. But Alec Ogletree has also fallen to the bottom of the draft and Ogletree doesn't have injury issues. Ogletree started out as a safety but he finally filled out to about 245 pounds. Scouting reports compare him to Falcom OLB Sean Weatherspoon, and that is just fine for the Falcons. They'll take another Weatherspoon and they grab Alec Ogletree, linebacker, Georgia, with the 30th pick. 

31. San Francisco 49ers  Miner 49'er. 
The good news: made it to the Super Bowl. The bad news? Picking 31st in the draft. The 49ers fielded two different defenses in 2012 -- the one where tackle Justin Smith was healthy, and the one where he wasn't. The version where he wasn't provided very little pass pressure, which underlined Smith's importance to the team. Alabama nose tackle Jessie Williams reminds me of a rawer version of Smith in that he plays with ridiculous strength and leverage, and takes on double teams with authority. It's a no brainer for the 49'ers who select Alabama defensive tackle Jessie Williams with the 31st pick. 


32.  Baltimore Ravens Rick Freedman

Super Bowl Champions. Just saying it makes all Ravens fans teary eyed. In the words of Mufasa, "it's just great to be king". But even he gets killed half-way through the movie. As did the Ravens defense in the off-season losing six defensive starters including future HOFers Ray Lewis & Ed Reed. They also lost Elerbe, Kruger, Pollard & Williams. The Ravens needs are clear and they include Safety, ILB, and OT. At Safety, two gems are still on the board, both SEC players: Eric Reid of LSU and Matt Elam of Florida. Linebacker choices start with Manti Te'o out of Notre Damne, and two more SEC players, Kevin Minter (LSU) and Alec Ogletree (Ga) (just lost him to the Falcons). The Ravens will also have to take a hard look at Menelik Watson, the big (6'5", 310 pds) OT out of FSU by way of Manchester, England. Head Coach John Harbaugh played as a DB and coached DB's with the Eagles. He understands how to mold a DB into a HOF player. The Ravens need to replace their HOF DB named Reed and with the 32nd pick, the Baltimore Ravens select another Reid, Eric Reid, Safety, LSU.
 
Thanks Rumpole.  This was a lot of fun.  Now we can all sit back and see how little we really know about this process and watch the Real draft in action.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I didn't know that Lewis Carroll was writing in Olde English--now it is all starting to make sense.

Anonymous said...

Somebody please draft shumie or man ti teo or both and shake this draft up!!!

Anonymous said...

Rumpole,
When are you gonna give your opinion on the SunLife Stadium vote?
Corporate welfare? or an expense paid by tourists that will have a public benefit to Miami?
Seems like it's a safer bet than marlins stadium and could bring us some big name events and tourist dollars, but at same time it seems wrong to use public funds to subsidize billionaires/

Anonymous said...

Great work by all the super smart appellate advocates in Lightsey v. State.
http://www.3dca.flcourts.org/Opinions/3D11-1981.pdf

Anonymous said...

Wow. Just wow. Everyone referenced in the Lightsey opinion should be disciplined for incompetence, especially the State.

J..E...T...S..JETSJETSJETS said...

J..E...T...S... JETS JETS JETS.....keep spending that money dopey-dolfins. Mike Wallace cap costs next year- a simple 16 million. For a wide receiver???? hahahahaha. And now you're getting that trouble maker from KC? And you let Jake Long go? And that QB? Really? You're gonna ride that wimp's arm? All the way to a wild card defeat. Hahahahahaha. You should re-hire sporano..Hahahaha. Oh yeah, you guys draft well. Passing on Matt Ryan? How many years since you made the playoffs? But keep those 50 year old super bowl memories warm. You know the ones- Riggins running over you on 4th and 1 for a super bowl TD. Hahahahaha. What a buncha-chumps.

Anonymous said...

A Jets fan should be the last person in the world to talk about "keeping those 50 year-old Super Bowl memories warm."

J. E. T. S. JETSJETSJETS said...

Yeah you dolphins know how to roll. Best QB ever. Best coach ever. All those Marino/Shula super bowl wins. Hahahahaha. What's the difference between Jim Plunkett, Joe Flacco, Phil Simms, John Elway, Bob Griese, Terry Bradshaw, Eli Manning, Peyton Manning, Joe Theisman, Roger Staubach,
Tom Brady, Kurt Warner, and Ben Roethlisberger?
And Danny Boy Marino?
Only Marino still has child support payments!!! Hahahahahaha.

"Unabridged American Minority" said...

Received my absentee ballot in the mail box today, but unsure on wether to vote up or down on Modernization of Sun Life Stadium. Is a levy tax Corporate Welfare? Hm...

CAPTAIN said...


Congrats to Fake Blake who hit the Detriot Lions pick on the money.

Cap Out ....

CAPTAIN said...


Quoting 52nd Street Irwin, who clearly doesn't know what the -uck he's talking about: "

"Jets are still chuckling over the Dolphins misguided decision to draft a corner back who won't even be healthy enough (by his own admission) to participate in any training camps until late August"

Your J-E-T-S Jets just took my pick, Dee Milliner.

Suck it Irwin

Cap has last word ....and is Out ....

Rick f said...


Well since my first choice, Eric Reid, is gone, I guess it's between Matt Elam and Mantei Teo.

I'll go with Elam. Go Gators.

RF

rickf said...


Nailed it. Matt Elam it is. Well, sort of nailed it.

Congrats to Fake Blake who nailed number five Ansah and Rumpole who nailed number ten Chance Warmack and Rhett Butler who nailed number 30 Ogletree.

52nd Street Irwin said...

There's no accounting for stupidity. Look at the second pick of the Jets. THIRD DT taken in first round in last three years by Jets. There's a reason why they didn't make the payoffs.

FYI- trading up to three to draft a 6'7 STRINGBEAN??? And you're happy with the Dolphins pick?