Saturday, July 07, 2012


Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Why do we require only a certain segment of attorneys who appear in court to wear a coat and a tie in the summer?

Why do we pay movie actors and athletes more than soldiers or teachers? 

Why is it OK for the Village of Palmetto Bay to pay $600,000 in legal fees to White and Case for a dispute (they lost) over a limit of 250 students (900 vs 1150) at a private school, but not OK to pay a court appointed lawyer a fair fee for their work? 

Why do the Judges in Broward act so strange?

Longtime super criminal defense attorney Alan Ross's mother passed away. Read about her amazing life in the Herald obit here. 

Some civil guttersnipe that  "guest writes"  (that means they have neither the ability nor imagination to write their own blog)  for a blog doesn't like us. (yawn).  We'd invite them to a sit down at the courthouse to settle the manner, but you know most civil lawyers don't know where the courthouse is and Google-maps we're not. 

We all know Roy Black is a great trial lawyer. But he is also a great writer. Read his reflections  on swimmer Jason Lezak's  swim of the anchor leg of the 4 x 100 freestyle race in the 2008 Beijing Olympics here and see if you don't agree.  When you read Mr. Black's blog it is readily apparent he has many interests (and an unfortunate taste for James Joyce's Ulysess) and is knowledgeable about a wide range of subjects.  While they may not realize it, that is one of the many things his clients are paying for.

A great trial lawyer is almost always a well  rounded individual with  a working knowledge on  a variety of topics. You never know when a small piece of obscure knowledge will be needed during cross. To be able at a moment's notice to quote from the Inquisition of Galileo or Yogi Berra ("nobody goes to that restaurant anymore, its too crowded" for example) or to summarize an informant's financial windfall with a perfect quote from Shakespeare  ("Some rise by sin and some by virtue fall") will not by themselves win you any case. But it will get the jury listening to you and your defense, and that can be all the difference in the world. 

For those civil lawyers upon whom the last two paragraphs were wasted, you can go here. 

Enjoy your summer weekend. 


Anonymous said...

Yo Rump, The SFL blog rules.

Often imitated, never duplicated.

useless said...

James Madison was the shortest president of the United States, thus the sobriquet "Shrimpy Madison" or "Tiny James".

Anonymous said...

Fixed the email issue, Rump. Unblock me, please.


DS said...

The last few lines in todays blog are the best and truest thing you have written. How true and how simply put, just beautiful.

"...will not by themselves win you any case. But it will get the jury listening to you and your defense, and that can be all the difference in the world. "


Anonymous said...

RE: summer coats and ties comments

Once again, L.Schwartz, who many think is old, grumpy and not nice apppears to be the ONLY Judge in Miami-Dade county to publicaly declare coats and ties not required in his court during JUNE, JULY, AUGHUST and SEPTEMBER. Check the postingns outside his office.

Anonymous said...

Here we go. Why do we pay actors and athletes more than we pay soldiers and teachers? First, we don't. For every professional athlete making $$$$$$, there are thousands toiling away in the minors eating at Burger King and sleeping in a Motel 6. Ditto professional golfers. Lee Trevino's definition of courage? Showing up on the first tee with $10 in your pocket and playing a $50 Nassau. And why do we pay the very select few more? Because we want to. Your value to society is defined simply by what someone else is willing to pay you. You may think that is unfair but it is reality and always will be. Do you really think a teacher or GI feels cheated when he takes his kid to the ballgame to watch players who make 100 times more than he does? I doubt it. Suppose Pat Riley, 3 years ago, declared that instead of signing Lebron James, the Heat would send the money to Miami Dade County so they could hire more teachers. I think the average fan would not have applauded the sacrifice.

tennis lover said...

Go Serena

Anonymous said...

Why if construction is over do they call it a "building"? Why isn't called a "built"?

Palmetto Bay watcher said...

What a total waste of taxpayer's money by the elected reps of Palmetto Bay. They were already paying a City Attorney lots of money and they had no faith in her ability to win the case. Then hire a full time City Attorney that knows what they are doing.

They spend $600,000 and actually more, as the bills are not in yet for this latest appeal, and they still lose.

And they are considering appaling this decision.

And then they will have to pay the school for the lost revenue for the past five years too.

Great job Palmetto Bay. I'm moving.

DS said...

The Christian Family Coalition and Catholic Cultural Fund have endorsed the following:
County Court

• Enrique “Rick” Yabor

• John M. Rodriguez

• Lourdes T. Camb√≥

Circuit Court

• Maria Elena Verde

• Victor De Yurre

God bless You and all Right thinking Conservative Christens

CAPTAIN said...


Rump. Don't look now, but SFL has given the keys to his BLOG to none other than retired CJ Juan Ramirez, Jr., who has just posted there.

Cap Out ....

Anonymous said...

Enough with the James Joyce bashing. Even it you don't like the book, you have to admit that "Ulysess" revolutionized English-speaking literature and influence just about every succeeding English language writer. If you need reminding, please check out the recent Joyce profile in the New Yorker. I don't know who you are, but, given your disdain for Joyce, I do know that you are definately not Irish-Catholic, definately have no Celtic background at all, and I have my doubts that--despite your assumption of the Rumpole identity--you are even British, since everyone I know with any of these characteristics (including myself) has some appreciation for what Joyce did.

South Florida Lawyers said...

Cap, let me know when you want to moonlight on the civil side....

Anonymous said...

Nice to see that any "Christian" group would not recommend any Black or Jewish candidates. Awfully decent of them!

Rumpole said...

1:01 PM with all due deference to Lee Trevino, who by the way was by far a better golf hustler than a golf pro- showing up with ten bucks in your pocket to play a $50 Nassau is far less courageous then the single mother of two public school teacher who gets up at 5 am to get her kids ready for school at 6:30 am and then takes two busses to get to school by 8 am- and does this every day and every year to give her kids a better chance at life.

My favourite story about Lee Trevino is him playing in a pro-am where play was stopped by a storm. As he and his partners walked back lightening started to strike nearby so Trevino went into his bag and pulled out a one iron and held it high in the air. When asked why, he said "because even the lord can't hit a one iron."

New PD said...

For Fake Kenny W-
I am a young PD not making a whole lot of flow, school loans, rent, beer money, nothing left over at the end of the month.

Question- how much as a percentage should I be spending each month to build a decent trial wardrobe?


Mitt Romney's science advisor said...

There is no such thing as global warming. Its a commie/pinko/anti-american-Barak Obama-Hillary Clinton-George McGovern created lie designed to cost american jobs and make people more dependent on the government. To wit: This bunch of lies was in the commie New York Times today:

Record temperatures were set last week in dozens of towns and cities, including Chicago, Indianapolis, Milwaukee, St. Louis and Washington, according to the National Weather Service. While people in those cities continued to sweat it out, the Northeast braced for temperatures to rise as well. In New York City, the health department warned people to take precautions over the weekend as temperatures were expected to climb into the triple digits with stifling humidity.

Anonymous said...

Andy Dufrense said, "I was a honest man on the outside, I had to come to prison to become a crook".

Anonymous said...

The Most Uncle Justice Clarence Thomas, Said,

Whatever Mr. Dufresne, we know you were not a model citizen while you were a liberated citizen. Hush up and don't hack into this blog, or I'll see to it myself the Warden Norton admonish you.

This post is in recess, and will reconvene as necessary in the near future. My regards,

The Most Uncle Justice Clarence Thomas

Fake American Minority said...

I have an assault trial on Monday. It will be all circumstantial.

Anonymous said...

The only non-hispanic candidate the Christian coalition endorsed was Ricket who is running against a Jew and a black.

Anonymous said...

Mitt Romney is a bad, stupid man, who deserves nothing but condemnation and scorn on this blog, which is populated by a very fine group of Yellow Dog Democrats, who have never disagreed with a Miami Herald editorial (except an occasional one when they are shamelessly pandering to the Latin readers).
You know, maybe we should just elect Obama as King. He is so smart, does nothing wrong, and has figured out how to buy things without paying for them.
Long Live OBAMA. Burn all the conservatives at the stake, and while we are at it, Carlos Martinez, who shows no deference to the ageing cadre of APDs who should officially do what they have unofficially already done, retire.

Anonymous said...

guest blogger has got your goat.

"American Minority" said...

8:37pm, This is the real A.M. and I do not approve your fabricated post. If that supposed to be satire, it suck.(yawning)

Anonymous said...

Why do we still live here
In this repulsive town?
All our friends are in New York
Why do we keep shrieking,
when we mean soft things?
We should be whispering all the time...

Anonymous said...

The reason the christian family coalition supports only some is simple. They refuse to allow anyone they support to also be supported by SAVE Dade, the gay org.

Ask the candidates. They all hate the "family" people but, want the most votes they can get.

If most only knew all the hate that comes from those supposed "family" oriented people they would not care who they support.

Fake Kenny W said...

My dear young New PD:
You have come to the right place for advice.
The wardrobe of a young gentlemen PD is perhaps the critical component for success in your chosen field. And I can help.

The basics and the rule of 12 +2:
You need to have 12 basic suits and 2 other suits- the 2 other suits can be one fancy black or navy suit for special occasions like weddings and one suit for evenings out or brunch at the club.

Now lets get down to the basic 12.
Your basic 12 suits must all of be high quality. DO NOT fall into the PD trap of having one or two good quality suits for closing arguments and then a bunch of cheap suits. No- that is not the way to go. You never know what day you will meet a potential client who will be evaluating your dress. The wrong suit can mean a missed opportunity.

Once you have your 12 basic suits then every other month I want to see you discard two shirts and one tie and buy two new shirts and one tie. Then on the other month I want to see you discard the oldest suit and buy a new one. It's as simple as that.

The shoes- buy yourself three pair of Allen Edmonds- will cost you about $1,000 total-but they will hold up and you can replace one pair a year.

A new PDs salary is consumed as you say by rent, loans, electronic doodads, etc. So to build your 12 +2 I want to see you at the Nieman Marcus last call store, shop the internet- you should know your size. Get the suit and every gentlemen should have a regular tailor.

Follow my advice and You my young man, are on your way to jointing the top of your chosen profession. Perhaps someday you can join the greats such as the Steve Glasses or the Ron Guralnicks of your profession. Great dressers all.

Remember our motto: It's better to look good than be good.

Anonymous said...

HEAR hear Kenny W. Many a jury trial or motion to suppress has been won by a tie that just perfectly offsets the highlights in the custom made shirt.

Perfect tailoring of a suit- so that a man shows just a hint of white cuff means more than a well written motion or knowing the depos inside and out.

Go get em tiger.

Rumpole said...

Murray over Federer? An Englishman winning Wimbledon? One can hope.

DS said...

Here Is an Interesting article on the BAR and Illegal Aliens.
Is being an 'UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGARANT" enough to deny a person membership in the FLA BAR?


Immigrant lawyer: Obama policy clears him for bar

The Associated Press

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. -- An illegal immigrant says an Obama administration change to U.S. immigration policy means there are no grounds to deny him a Florida law license.

President Barack Obama announced last month that illegal immigrants no older than 30 who arrived as children, have no criminal history, and have high school degrees or military service could stay and work in this country.

In a motion filed Thursday, Jose Godinez-Samperio told the state Supreme Court that the administration's order makes him eligible for legal immigration status and work authorization in the U.S.

"The significance of this action for (Godinez-Samperio) and for the issues before this Court cannot be overstated," says the motion filed in Tallahassee by Godinez-Samperio's attorney, Talbot D'Alemberte. "No grounds remain for denying or further delaying his admission to the Florida Bar."

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/07/07/2886039/immigrant-lawyer-says-new-law.html#storylink=cpy

Angry Girl said...

I was going to confine my rant this morning to a positive one: Extreme Weight Loss Makeover on Sunday Nights is a very positive uplifting show. I rarely watch television much less what you all call reality tv, but I highly recommend it. You can DVR it and fast forward through the commercials which is what I do.

I was going to leave it at that until I read the prior comment about the illegal alien lawyer. I am aghast and outraged. How did this alien get into law school and take a spot that otherwise could have gone to an American? Same with college?
Now to admit someone to practice law of all things, who by their very status acknowledges that they are in this country in violation of this country's immigration laws is an outrage of unprecedented proportions. WHat will their oath be? To uphold all laws of this state that they either agree with or are not otherwise violating?

What about the tens of thousands of highly qualified engineers, doctors, etc., who have applied for work permits and were denied or are waiting. How fair is this decision to them?

We are either a country of laws that follows the laws or we are not. Will this alien apply to be a judge someday? Then what? Will he be able to take actions that lead to deportations of his group of people?
This action will not stand!

BTW- by agreement with Rumpole I am now know as Angry Girl. The original misspelling was a typo and it was not until recently I learned of the sexual perversion connection with the spelling of gurl.

Anonymous said...

Alan Ross is an outstanding attorney and a great person. My condolences to him and his family.

Angry girl fan said...

Angry Girl.

Would you call yourself a prawn?

CAPTAIN said...

The Captain Reports:

Voter ID Laws ....from the WP

IN MARCH, the Republican-led legislature of Pennsylvania passed a law that will require voters to present valid photo IDs to receive ballots. As inherently suspicious as this measure was from the start, the full magnitude of its potential effect became clear only last week, when state officials released data revealing that approximately 9 percent of the state’s 8.2 million registered voters — many of whom have voted regularly for years — lack any such identification. Come November, more than 758,000 people could be barred from the polls. That would be a crime against democracy.

Last month, the state’s House Republican leader Mike Turzai included it in a checklist of conservative legislative accomplishments. As he told an audience to resounding applause: “Voter ID, which is going to allow . . . [presidential candidate Mitt] Romney to win the state of Pennsylvania, done.” It’s troubling to think that there are lawmakers in this country who genuinely wish to exclude fellow citizens from the polls solely for political reasons.

What do you think?

Cap Out .....

Wannabe Judge said...

Angry Girl,

The undocumented immigrant who now seeks Admission to the Bar, did not break the law in coming to this country. He was a minor when his parents brought him here.
He is no more guilty for benefiting from his parents actions, than all the children of criminals who benefit from their parents ill gotten gains. Hell, our Governor benefited from his company ripping off the US government. Where is your outrage that he used those funds to win election to his position?

Your outrage that he took the place of a citizen in law school is silly. He took the place of a less qualified citizen. Every immigrant, by the way, legal or illegal takes the place of a citizen in our colleges. They take the education our children do not want.

Anonymous said...

Fake Kenny W has made an invaluable contribution to this blog. Here are my tips for a young man who wants to camoflouge his lack of substance with the appearance of competence.
1. The suit. 100% light wool. You should have the following in your wardrobe:
a. blue pinstripe
b. dark navy blue
c. dark grey
d. grey charcoal pinstripe
e. light grey
f. light tan
g. dark green
h. blue navy blazer with gold buttons
These suits do not need to be expensive. In fact, you can buy any of them at Burlington Coat Factory for less than $150.00. Do not buy a double breasted suit. It will remind all judges and old time lawyers of Steve Glass (thanks for the memories, Fake Kenny W). Take it to Al The Tailor at 139 NE 1st Street. I think he is on the 3d floor. The building has about 10,000 code violations and there is no guaranty you will not fall through the floor but Al is worth it. Go there at lunch and you will probably meet some federal judges. Al will take that suit apart and make you look like JFK in it. He charges about $50 but you will not regret it. The pants should be cuffed and make damn sure they end 1/8 inch above the floor.
2. Shirts. Shirts should be 100% cotton. The better choice is to buy them from Brooks Brothers but can get decent dress shirts for $10 to $20 at the discount places. Here is the secret. Make certain that shirt will hang past your suit coat sleeve by 1/4 inch. You can buy a $200 shirt and it will look like a KMart special if it is not PERFECTLY measured against your jacket sleeve. As for colors, get 5 plain white, 5 plain blue, 2 blue striped, and a light green. Do not wear French cuffs unless your parents came over on the Mayflower and you have a trust fund allowance of $100k a month. Keep one shirt in your desk. You can have one button down in blue and white but stick to the regular collar.
3. Ties. Here is where your should and can splurge. You can buy ties for less than $10.00. Stick with dark blue, red, and green designs. Mix it up with some bright quasi neon prints but keep it conservative. Use a windsor tie. Under no circumstances should you ever walk into a courtroom with your top button undone. The tip of the tie MUST touch the bottom on your belt buckle. You are a lawyer, not a hardware salesman at Walmart. The loose back end of the tie should never show. If the tie is too short, as most are, take a pin and fasten it to the back of the wide part of the tie. It looks low class when the loose end is flapping underneath the wide part. No one will notice the pin.
4. Belt. Get a cheap belt but make sure it is dark. No one notices your belt.
5. Shoes. Fake Kenny W offers sound advice here but it can be done cheaper. Shop around at Macy's for Dillard's. They have sales every week on Johnston & Murphy and good brands. Go mid to high end. If you can afford Allen Edmonds, go for it. But here is the secret, even for cheap shoes: keep them shined. Buy a $9.99 kit at CVS. Polish them once a week. A good pair of shoes can last ten years. Wear Dr. Scholl's pads with them. The sweat will be absorbed in the pads. Get a pair of cedar shoe trees from Amazon. For $25,00, it will save you ten times that in new shoes. Put the trees in your shoes every night when you get home. Every year, take your shoes to a shoesmith and replace the bottoms. $40. You need six basic shoes: black tie, black loafer (not penney loafers!!!), ditto burgundy, and two pairs of brown shoes, preferably a little more snazzy in this color. If you are going to splurge, do it on brown shoes. They look great when worn with the right suit.
5. Socks. Dark colors only and never ever ever show 6our legs. Those socks should be at your knees and stay there.
7. ALWAYS keep your suit jacket buttoned.
Remember, having the correct wardrobe means nothing if you don't know how to wear it. You should wear that suit like you were born in it. Watch a few episodes of Mad Men and try to emulate Don Draper.

Anonymous said...

Please elaborate on the sexual perversion associated with "Gurl" for those unaware.

Anonymous said...

4:52 pm, you left off the list Al Gore who has a billion-dollar financial stake in man-made global warming.

fake Kenny W said...

New PD please listen to me and ignore that preposterous poseur. DO NOT BUY CHEAP SUITS. EVER. If you cannot afford to pay $1,000 for a suit (at the very least) save your money until you can. Even if it takes you a few years, eventually you will have a fine wardrobe you can be proud to be seen everywhere and anywhere.

Cheap people wear cheap clothes. Period.

flash mob said...

Music really does bring the world together.

End your weekend on a high note:


DS said...

on Wardrobe
Try Macy's when they have 1/2 off or 2 for 1 suits. See if can find Suit wholesaler in garment districts. Is Austin Burke Still open?
Get Cotton suits for summer, kacki, Brown, Light and Dark blue ever Sear-sucker.

Go to JC Penney and get the Stafford Exec shirts in cotton, when on sale, in Blues or/and Whites in percale not that oxford shirt weave ;

By gold toe black or Navy socks in the Bag of a Dozen . Always wille able to match the single socks and goes w everything.

Anonymous said...


Really bro? Dress advice? yo dog. and u left off the disney store?


Anonymous said...

So white tube socks with the brown suit is no good?

Not so snappy dresser said...

One of the seven signs of the Apocolypse:
Sisselman giving fashion advice!

Anonymous said...

DS - I'll take your advice on many things, but wardrobe is not one of them.

Anonymous said...

AG, call yourself whatever you wish. I quit reading your rants long ago. So Mister, whoever you are behind these posts, just give it a rest.

And the guy doing the AM put-ons - those have gotten old, too.

Anonymous said...

How about that guy who sits in the back corner of ABP sometimes. Kind of looks like a carnival barker.

Who is his tailor?

Or the black guy who works I the building, and wears the long frock coats in rainbow colors? What haberdasher does he frequent?

Anonymous said...

DS advice is great...for your Uncle Morris in 1962.

Anonymous said...

@7:27- That sounds like an invitation to bring the Shumie Time back to this blog. Shumie Time Rules!

Fake DS said...

Similar to this season’s palette for women, there is something for everyone in the top color selections for men in my Fall 2012 fashion recommendations. Rhubarb, a deep, pungent hue, brings intensity to the palette, and is best paired with Tangerine Tango and Honey Gold for a typical collegiate look. To hit the ski slopes in style, combine Ultramarine Green with Bright Chartreuse and Olympian Blue for the ultimate in winter athletic apparel.

Moving from the vibrant tones of fall to more neutral basics, Whitecap Gray is a classic off-white, reminiscent of an overturning wave under a winter sky. Sea Fog, a gray with a muted purple cast, exudes just the right amount of confidence and masculinity. Pair these two neutrals with the strength of Titanium for a subtle and sophisticated direction. Combine all three neutrals in a dress shirt or tie with basic, versatile French Roast for a classic fall look.

DS said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DS said...

Thank You all,
Great Honor.

For a PD or ASA Male, It actually works on our budget....lol

But This Fall its Garnet and Gold


Monday, July 09, 2012 8:06:00 AM

Kissimmee Kid said...

Angry Girl,

Mexicans are Americans.

Anonymous said...

Wow! I was really concerned about the heat and strange storms that have been causing havoc. Now that I know about Gores financial stake I'm not concerned anymore.

DS said...

Fake DS
I would Never comment about skiing or Snow outfitting. One of the FEW things I know nothing about.
The only time I EVER saw Snow was at my Dad's funeral ( in the Catskills) . I was 47 then.