Or....(thanks to the late, great Johnny Cochran)
"IF YOUR SHOES CAN'T CLEAR THE SCANNER
YOU CAN'T SEE YOUR CLIENT IN THE SLAMMER."
With Code Browns, earthquakes and tsunami warnings breaking out everywhere, now comes word about the trouble with Shoes at Metro West and with the Dade Department of Corrections (Motto: "You can see your client at any time for as long as you want on any day of the week that does not end with a "Y".)
This email made the rounds and started it all:
Brothers and Sisters,
Last night at metro west, I learned of a new policy: you must be able to clear the metal detector with your shoes on. If you cannot, you cannot come in.
The officer told me they just started it and he let me pass, but it seems we will now need shoes that can pass the detector in the very near future.
Although it has not been confirmed, he also told me it was to be a system wide rule and enforced at the other detention facilities.
Last night at metro west, I learned of a new policy: you must be able to clear the metal detector with your shoes on. If you cannot, you cannot come in.
The officer told me they just started it and he let me pass, but it seems we will now need shoes that can pass the detector in the very near future.
Although it has not been confirmed, he also told me it was to be a system wide rule and enforced at the other detention facilities.
But, look up in that courtroom, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's EDITH GEORGI, Esq., to the rescue!!!
My office checked with the Captain who says there is no such rule.
Rumpole wants to know if Ms. Georgi called the Blog El Capitan, or some paper pusher at DOC?
In any event, if you're following a time line, heres a quick recap:
an earthquake hit Japan, Judge Brown woke up for his morning Yoga, some clients brought more rounds of ammo into the REGJB after yesterday's weapons scare, and then this email went out:
I was at Metro West last Saturday. I was told I can not bring any brief case into jail. Now we need to carry sneakers with us to get into jail! I think it's about Time FACDL put its foot down!
Rumpole says: listen smart guy, save the puns for us. And if it is relief you seek, start with us and skip the FACDL, unless it's banquet reservations you are trying to make.
So, as the weekend approaches, we are left with these questions:
WIll the good lord wipe Hollywood and Charlie Sheen off the map with a great flood?
How does Edith Georgi know the secret identity of the Captain?
Will Miami Corrections start requiring attorneys to wear matching socks? What if an attorney wears blue socks with brown shoes, can they still practice law?
Can we enter metro west barefoot? How about in moccasins?
What happened to that frozen venison confiscated yesterday from the REGJB?
Stay tuned for answers to these questions and more.
Coming next week- what's the best single piece of advice you would give a young attorney starting out (other than use contraception at all times?)
SEE YOU IN COURT. ENJOY THE WONDERFUL WEEKEND.
9 comments:
Stock tip. Buy Crocs, sell DSW. Will Crocs stock go up as a result of this new policy? What if the MD DOC's enlightened security policies go nation wide, then everyone will have to wear Crocs, flip-flops or some type of rubber sandal.
Fashion tip to Miami-Dade lawyers: wear rubber soled shoes. Not only will you avoid problems at metal detectors but they are better for your feet too (and look better than crocs).
THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:
SENIOR JUDGES ..... FEEDBACK
The following senior judges' current service will expire on September 30 and they are seeking service renewal.
Any persons having knowledge bearing upon the fitness or qualifications of any of the senior judges on this list to continue service as a senior judge should send, on or before April 15, written comments to Thomas D. Hall, Clerk, Florida Supreme Court, 500 South Duval Street, Tallahassee 32399, or by e-mail at seniorjudge@flcourts.org, or by telephone to the chair of the appropriate review board as noted.
Review Board Three Chair: Judge Juan Ramirez, Jr.,(305) 229-3200, ext. 3216):
Senior Judges:
Philip Cook, Robert M. Deehl, Charles D. Edelstein, Eugene J. Fierro, Seymour Gelber, Marvin H. Gillman, William E. Gladstone, Leonard E. Glick, Jon I. Gordon, Edward S. Klein, Judith L. Kreeger, Thomas K. Petersen, Jeffrey Rosinek, Alan R. Schwartz, Martin Shapiro, Roger A. Silver, Stuart M. Simons, Raphael Steinhardt, Herbert Stettin, Sandra Taylor and David L. Tobin.
Cap Out .....
Rump:
Has the blog jumped the shark?
Fonzie
Has Captain Obvious been reading the Bar News, again?
Thanks for last week's news.
Eugene Fierro is a pleasure to appear in front. He's never condescending to anyone...
My Josef Seibel's cleared the DCJ detector today without committing a fashion faux pax.
Not many designers make women's shoes with rubber soles or heels. Does this mean that the policy is targeting a protected group? That women will not be able to properly represent their clients due to their lack of choice in shoes?
Remember when Alvin Goodman (may he rest in peace) couldn't get into the Federal Jail by Metro Zoo because he was wearing shorts so, he went to a nearby tag sale and got a nice dress and they let him in.
Motto: Follow their fucking rules or don't get in.
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