WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. THIS BLOG HAS BEEN CALLED "THE DEFINITIVE BLOG ON MIAMI CRIMINAL LAW" BY THE NY TIMES, THE WASHINGTON POST, THE POPE, AND DONALD TRUMP WHO ALSO ONCE SAID IT WAS "REALLY GREAT". POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

MOTION GRANTED, BUT NOT IN BRIEF

WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON UPDATE: MICHELLE SPENCE JONES ACQUITTED. CONGRATS TO PETER RABEN. WELL DONE.!!


ATT00081





We will be brief:

My oh my, where to begin?

Everyone's favourite Sesquipedalian Judge has issued an order granting a motion to suppress. It is mind boggling. It is a pean to egoism, but not in a bad way. And as they say, "it ain't bragging if you can do it." And boy can he bring it. From the obvious pedestrian references to Shakespeare to "apodictic" (stolen from the recent 3rd DCA opinions) to "the dreaded S word" (his own creation=standing) to his pedantic footnote in which he claims William Pitt The Elder, The First Earl Of Chathman, is "oft quoted" (not in this world) to the second most dreaded "S" Word: " struthious."

Let's dig in.

Our Sesquipedalian Judge starts with a false nod to brevity by engaging in a standing analysis in which he begins by writing: In this spirit – in the spirit of sparing the slaughter of trees to make paper, or the perturbation of electrons to make pixels...and then he spits in the eye of the spirit of brevity by writing seventeen (17) long pages of this claptrap and piffle.


When confronted with technical language used by the officers, (for which he modestly feigns ignorance) he characterizes it as "police argot".

When finding that a defendant has indisputable standing, he pulls out his thesaurus to write:
As to Damian Glover, his case for standing is irrefragable.

Writing about the fourth amendment our Judge searches his inner Brandeis, seeking a flourishing peroration about the amendment for which he strives, at this late date, to put his own stamp on: Undoubtedly faith is a virtue; but where the Fourth Amendment is concerned, due diligence and reasonable inquiry are greater virtues..

And finally, just to make sure the officers know who's in charge and who's smarter, he takes this nifty shot:

we do not demand of the officers the level of scholarship and

sophistication associated with those who possess an LL.M in real property law from the

University of Miami; (or from sesquipedalian Judges) but neither do we permit them to display a struthious and willful blindness. ( notice the subtle use of the royal "we" that we write our blog with?)


For those of you who care, "struthious" means "of relating to an Ostrich and related birds".

There must be an easier, wiser, more judicious way of saying that the police cannot put their heads in the sand.


So there you have it, in all its glory, Volume 1, pages 3-19 (pages 1-2 are comprised of his initial practice order issued January 1, 2011, at 12:01 am) of the collected Wit and Wisdom of Judge Milton Hirsch. Much more to follow as we cannot get enough of this stuff. It's what makes bored bloggers sit up and smile.


For now we leave you and the Judge with this thought from our beloved Bard who we assure you we were quoting when the Judge was knee high to a police officer spouting argot:


Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit,
And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes,
I will be brief.
~William Shakespeare,
Hamlet


Words to rule and write by, eh?





48 comments:

Anonymous said...

If mayor Alvarez and commisioner Seijas lose the recount, are they out? Who takes their place? Or is there a new election

Anonymous said...

Obviously new judges school where they teach you to only say four words: Granted, Denied, Overruled and Sustained had no effect on Milt. Still trying to prove he is smarter than EVERYONE ELSE. Oh please Milt you can't even shut up when you are on the bench.

The less you say the greater the chance of being affirmed. Besides the 3rd is more likely than not to reverse you just because they don't like being preached to.

Anonymous said...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

South Florida Lawyers said...

Hold on -- we're talking about an order that contains the following words: "perturbation"; "argot"; "struthious"; and finally "irrefragable."

Ok, did William Safire write this?

Anonymous said...

Could the Chief Judge [Brown] be so kind as to kick Uncle Miltie to probate or family -- so that the practitioners with serious money can decide whether he deserves a second term -- PLEASE ?

Anonymous said...

I think Milt is being a little overly scholarly but hey, he's the judge and can do what he wants if he's got the time to continue these types of written orders.. and maybe he can even teach us all a few things along the way. The order and opinion therein seem both reasonable & informative to me. As long as he treats everyone with due respect and understanding in the courtroom, as he seems to do here without reading too much into his slight jabs, he's doing a fine job. See you in court.

Rumpole said...

I happen to think very fondly of that attorney you call a bottom feeder. Go write your own trash and post it there.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE MILTON HIRSCH. Despite his long order and very weird wording (I can't understand half that shit), at least the man has the courage to do the right thing and actually protect the fourth amendment. There are not many judges in that building who do. Milt is one of them and I applaud him.

Anonymous said...

Don't let the door hit you in the ASS on the way out!

Goodbye George Burgess. Goodbye Alex Munoz. Goodbye Alina Hudek. Goodbye Howard Piper. Goodbye Ysela Llort. Goodbye Matthew Pinzur. Goodbye Budget Director Jennifer Glazer Moon. Goodbye Sustainability Director Suzy Torriente. Goodbye Elections Dept. Director Lester Sola. Goodbye HR Director Mary Lou Rizzo. Goodbye Small Business Dept. Director Penny Townsley. Goodbye Transit Director Harpal Kapoor. Goodbye Animal Services Director Sara Pizano. Goodbye every executive in the Aviation Dept. including Director Jose Abreu. Goodbye Economic Development and International Trade Director Tony Ojeda. Goodbye GIC Director Judy Zito. Goodbye GSA Director Wendy Norris. Goodbye Grants Coordination Director Dan Wall. Goodbye Human Rights & Fair Employment Practices Director Lucia Davis-Raiford. Goodbye Parks Dept. Director Jack Kardys. Goodbye Procurement Director Miriam Singer. Goodbye Seaport Director Bill Johnson. Goodbye ETSD Director Angel Pestico. Goodbye 311 Call Center Director Becky Glover. Goodbye Communications Director Victoria Mallette-O'Bryan ...

Anonymous said...

I'm just happy to see a judge reading motions and listening to arguments.

Anonymous said...

7:10 am - EXACTLY

Its funny, but Rumpole is so obviously jealous and such a hater of hirsch, that with these last few posts mocking hirsch, its bunghole who seems to be the a**hole.

Real Fake Former Judge said...

I disagree. I think Rumpole has been on his A game for a while with Milt. I think his critique of the order is spot on and fair to Milt. No one can read this order and say that Milt is not saying in five sentences what he could say in two. And does anyone not believe that Milt keeps a thesaurus in his lap when he writes? Why else use "irrefragable" when indisputable means exactly the same thing ?

I've known Milt all his career. And what I am seeing is decades of him thinking to himself "I can do it better and I am smarter than this Judge" now boiling over. But his heart is in the right (write?) place and give him time and he will settle down.

Anonymous said...

I think the criticism of Hirsch from the defense bar is crazy. Would you rather have another Glick? Some people like to write, you don't have to write his orders or even read them so who cares what language he uses if the results are good--and from what I've heard he's been very good for the defense in his courtroom. And he knows what he's doing in terms of preventing the 3rd from reversing him. His findings of fact specifically identify multiple times that he credits everything the police officers say and he makes detailed findings about the defendants ties to the home that are going to be impossible to overturn on appeal. As long as you believe everything a cop says, there's nothing the appellate court can do with findings of fact that are supported by the record. His legal analysis is solid too, maybe the third will think he's a pain in the ass but I'd bet they aren't gonna be able to reverse him.

Anonymous said...

I love the erudition and style of the writing-- it reminds me of the beautiful legal prose my hero: Douglas L. Williams

CAPTAIN said...

to 12:42 am:

The Herald is reporting that Burgess has resigned.

Cap Out ....

Anonymous said...

wow.... this guy sounds smart. but what a douche! If it was not good enough for Judge Hoeveler to spout off about how smart he was on a whole series of subjects, why is it good enough for this clown? Choosing a word here and there to be funny/make an illustrative point is fine. But this order is so over the top. God help us.

Anonymous said...

I've consistently supported Milton on this blog and in the real world. But, I think it's asinine to write an order that is unduly long and sends people to the dictionary.

BTDT

Anonymous said...

I'm happy too that he's reading motions, listening to arguments and actually thinking.
But I thinking he's taking it too far. When even those of us who do possess an LLM need to break out the dictionary, it's way too much.

This is the type of language that causes 'the masses' to hate lawyers and judges because they think they're being talked down to.

I took a class (in law school, no less)that was called "Plain English for Lawyers." We discussed the fact that simply because you could use big fancy words didn't mean you should.

Anonymous said...

You can tell by the amount of halfassed haters that Milt is already one of the great judges in the district.

Anonymous said...

Big deal, so he's a judge in Miami (not a very distinguished position, just look at the other idiots on the bench) and he's got a thesaurus. Show boating is low class in any arena. Just do your job Milt and stop acting like your excrement don't stink.

Anonymous said...

Atleast he spells better then me
DS

Anonymous said...

All Ga. Executions On Hold After DEA Seizes Critical Drug
ATLANTA -- All Georgia executions are off after federal drug agents seized the state's supply of a sedative used in lethal injections that has been challenged by capital punishment critics and death-row inmates, including a man recently executed who called the British exporter of the drug a "fly-by-night supplier."

Drug Enforcement Administration spokesman Chuvalo Truesdell wouldn't say exactly why Georgia's supply of sodium thiopental was taken Tuesday, just that "we had questions about how the drug was imported to the U.S." The sedative is part of a three-drug cocktail used in executions that has been in short supply since the sole U.S. manufacturer stopped making it. Story on AOL.

DS

Anonymous said...

I think Milt is reading this and pissing his pants laughing....he got the desired result, you assclowns talking about him.

He's been doing a good job, and I get the joke....join in.

Anonymous said...

SPENCE - JONES ACQUITTED

SHOCKER

Anonymous said...

I agree with the 10:00 comment. Who cares how it's written. The result is what matters. Kudos to Judge Hirsch!!

CAPTAIN said...

The Miami Herald is reporting that Spence Jones was found NOT GUILTY after only 90 minutes of jury deliberations.

Maybe someone that knows the law can explain whether the City will have to pay for her attorney's fees now.

Cap Out .....

Anonymous said...

Every time that Rumpole posts something about Milt Hirsch, the comments increase by 200 to 300% Kind of like what Charlie Sheen does for TV ratings.

Anonymous said...

SPENCE-JONES:

Mr. Raben's closing argument sent goose bumps down my arms. Inspiring is an understatement.

Just a few of the reasons all of us entered this profession is to join forces with people of like minds, to believe in something greater than ourselves and to work toward an end.

Extremely gratifing and a well-deserved victory.

Judge RR was great!

Anonymous said...

This is gut check time for KFR. This prosecution was a travesty of misconduct and bad faith. If she does not fire Scruggs, she will wear this case around her neck for a long time.

Rumpole said...

514 you are correct.

Anonymous said...

Who is going to file the Bar complaint against Scruggs?

After all, this prosecution was unethical. Why should he not face the same heat that Nifong faced?

Ridiculous said...

Ethics investigation of Scruggs cannot start sooner!

Anonymous said...

4:09 - assuming you are right, as opposed to the rest of us who thinks he is just a douche, the question is why he would use state resources to entertain a bunch of dumb bloggers? That extra two hours he took trying to "joke" with us could have been better spent on other court business. Frankly, either way, he is still a douche.

Anonymous said...

4:24, that acquittal was not a shocker. It was widely expected.

Anonymous said...

There may be several purposes to Milt's style of writing. One may be to send attorneys to the dictionary to improve their vocabulary and writing skills. Another may be to secure affirmances from the judges at the 3rd DCA or the Fla. Supreme Court who would be afraid to show that they don't understand the language of the order being appealed.

Anonymous said...

Peter Raben couldn't say it better when he told the jury that the state gave them three weeks of smoke instead of a smoking gun.

FACDL list serve leaker said...

What the hell do you want?

Hirsch obviously read the briefs and listened to the arguments. Then he wrote a detailed, useful order that sets out his findings and conclusions and, oh yeah, GETS IT RIGHT.

So he loves big words. Enjoy it or ignore it. (And it's no thesaurus, he's got that big a vocabulary. So what?) You'd rather have another judge who collects the pleadings, snoozes through the hearing then says "denied" with no real explanation? Are you that lazy? That checked out? Practice some effing law for a change.

I wonder how many of the haters who slander him here have been before him. I have, four times. Every time the courtroom ran efficiently, he treated everyone with respect, he listened to everyone, he told jokes that aren't any worse than any other judge.

You people suck. Go back to the Ed Show in county.

Anonymous said...

Sisselman -- he also stayed awake during grammar class: BETTER THAN I -- not "better than me".

Anonymous said...

Raben did an awesome job but one thing bothered me - when watching Spence-Jones give her statement to the press, she thanked God three times but never once thanked her attorney, at least not publicly.

Anonymous said...

Judge Hirsch drinks tiger blood before every hearing on a motion to suppress. Milt has Cardozo DNA.

Anonymous said...

I think Hirsch is having his idea of fun on the bench. Sending a few people to the dictionary, writing detailed orders in a district where the appeals court more often writes "per curiam" than their own names, and keeping tongues wagging about his latest exploits, is probably exactly what he envisioned when he first considered the bench.

I bet he is getting quite a bit of enjoyment out of being the only interesting thing in REG. Obnoxious? Over-bearing? Self-important? Pedantic? I don't know him that well to say. He is the Charlie Sheen, Lady Gaga, Donald Trump of Dade County Courts.

Milt's Inspiration said...

Here's where the Chief Justice gets his inspiration.

Anonymous said...

Stay tuned for Phase II of State v. Spence Jones. Payback time for the state attorney who orchestrated this cluster fuck. Armando Codina v. Kathy fernandez rundle. Codina will now proceed to do to Rundle what Braman did to Alvarez. Codina will take her down. She fucked with the wrong guy this time.

Anonymous said...

Misleading witnesses, coercing false testimony and outright fabricating evidence is nothing new with the Reno era dinosaurs at the state attorneys office. It's time for Kathy to clean house and get rid of the likes of Scruggs, Kerstein, Kostrzewski, et all.

Do the right thing Kathy or you'll be joining Carlos and Natacha!! Any ideas on how Codina is going to exact his revenge for having his name dragged through the mud?

P. Nis said...

It's time for Scruggs to take a couple of weeks off and regroup after this humiliating loss. Maybe fly down to Costa Rica and chill out?

http://ladyofjusticewhistleblower.blogspot.com/

NOT!

Anonymous said...

You can make Milt's order all you want, but the State chose not to appeal and nolle prossed the case!

Anonymous said...

The story behind the story is bigger than the story. The state put forth a case that never satisfied the prima facie elements of a violation of any law. Everyone had to know that going in. But they did it anyway. The reason? Spence Jones sued the governor one year ago and was on the verge of winning that case and being placed back in office. Two days before an expected ruling in her favor, the SAO indicts her for bribery thus making the civil case moot. It did not matter that the bribery case was fabricated. The mere fact of the indictment ruined her. The SAO had to know this. They used the grand jury to manipulate the electoral process and prevent a duly elected official form taking office because they have a vendetta against her. Shame on them.

Anonymous said...

Commissioner Spence-Jones thanked Mr. Raben inside the courtroom. The clapping, singing and post-verdict festivities went on for quite some time and it was a very happy event.