Rock "n" Roll and Criminal Law?

Rock ‘n’ Roll and Criminal Law?

By Scott Saul

Most readers of this blog are immersed in the world of criminal law. It may have come across the mind that, perhaps, there are greener pastures or an easier path than our daily regimen yet, you can’t deny that criminal law enters the world of pop culture a lot more than other fields of law. How often do you see tales about probate, real estate or contract lawyers?

Throughout the history of music and song, the law, particularly criminal law, has always been placed into a lyrical context. These songs can act as a portal for news events, be metaphorical, convey an attitude or, most importantly, actually promote change.

Here is a list of songs that are vital in chronicling what we do, what we do onto others or how others view what we do …into song.

These songs, my very subjective selection, represent but a small fraction of what is actually out there. Since I’m a middle-aged “rock ‘n’ roll” guy, I have omitted highly applicable songs coming from other genres such as hip hop, country, etc. I welcome any suggestions since this can hardly be an exclusive list.

1.    Billy Austin -Steve Earle

Steven Earle is an amazing wordsmith that straddles the genres of roots, rock and country. In that he has had real significant demons in his life (addiction, arrests, prison sentences, 9 marriages), he has his finger on the pulse for human suffering. 

‘Billy Austin” is a harrowing, first-person account of an unsophisticated young man that commits an armed robbery, kills his victim and is put to death.  With lyrics like;

but my trial was over quickly,

and the long hard wait began,

court-appointed lawyer couldn’t look me in the eye

He just stood up and closed his briefcase

when they sentenced me to die.

Steve Earle, quite accurately, captured the grim aspect of a death penalty case.

2.  Long Black Veil-The Band

This country standard, brought into the mainstream by rock and roll hall of famers “The Band”, takes on the scenario of “falling on the sword”. It’s told from the point of view of an executed man falsely accused of murder. He refuses to provide a saving alibi since, on the night of the murder, he was having an affair with his best friend’s wife and he would rather die and take the secret to the grave than admit to such a damning truth;

Ten years ago, on a cold dark night

There was someone killed’ neath the town hall light

There was few at the scene and they all did agree

That the man who ran looked a lot like me

The judge said “Son, what is your alibi?

If you were somewhere else, then you won’t have to die

I spoke not a word although it meant my life

I had been in the arms of my best friend’s wife

3.  Crime in the City (Sixty to Zero) -Neil Young 

Rock icon Neil Young focused a stanza of this song (this is from the unabridged, live addition, not the recorded one off of his remarkable “Freedom” album) on the vulnerability of being a judge;

There’s a judge in the city,

He goes to work every day,

Spends his life in the court house,

keeps his perspective that way,

but I respect his decision,

He’s got a lot on his mind,

He’s pretty good with the gavel,

A little heavy on the fines

4.  Ma and Pa-Fishbone

1980-1990’s punk/ska/funk Fishbone has always incorporated thoughtful, insightful and provocative lyrics into their hyperkinetic, very danceable jams. This song focuses on divorce law but, it’s bitter, third-party point of view is alarming for anybody working within the legal system;

She’s a problem child now because of a divorce

Hey Ma and Pa, What the hell is wrong with y’all

Hey Ma and Pa, what the hell is wrong with y’all

Well there’s a lot of money for all the attorneys

It’s just not a fight for child custody

Cause Ma and Pa’s revenge

Is making little sister bleed

5.   Mr Bad Example-Warren Zevon 

Werewolves of London’s Warren Zevon has always been a talented provocateur writing about gritty issues. The excerpt from this tune;

Of course, I went to law school and took a law degree

And counseled all my clients to plead insanity

Echoes an all too common public perception towards the profession (by the way, for a very poignant treatise on mortality, check out his swansong “The Wind”, his last work as he was dying from lung cancer).

6.  I Fought the Law -The Clash

This cover of the Sonny Curtis song (he was in Buddy Holly & the Crickets) features the consequences of crime from the protagonist’s position;

Robbin’ people with a six-gun

I fought the law and the law won

I lost my girl and lost my fun

I fought the law and the law one

I left my baby and it feels so bad

Guess my race is run

She’s the best girl that I ever had

I fought the law and the law one

If only criminal defense work, with such a conciliatory tone, was that easy. 

7.   One Million Lawyers- Tom Paxton

You mean everybody doesn’t love me? Iconic 1960’s-1970’s folkie, Tom Paxton, wrote a damning song as to his perspective of our profession. These lyrics should surely impact what you do with your degree and how you act in court;

Humankind has survived some disasters, I’m sure

Like locusts and flash floods and flu

There never a moment when we’ve been secure

From the ills that the flesh is heir to

If it isn’t a war, it’s some gruesome disease

If it isn’t disease, then its war

But there’s worse still to come, and I’m asking you please

How’s the world gonna take any more?

In ten years we’re gonna have one million lawyers

One million lawyers, one million lawyers

In ten years were gonna have one million lawyers

How much can a poor nation stand?

8.  State Trooper-Bruce Springsteen

  

The boss’s much covered song off of the very folky “Nebraska” record hits the stark reality of the inherent dangers of being a law enforcement officer. With the protocol of constant defensive challenges to probable cause and allegations of pretextual stops, this song mirrors so many of the tragic cop killings that arise out of just a simple traffic stop;  

New Jersey turnpike ridin’ on a wet night ‘neath the refinery’s glow

Out where the great black rivers flow

License, registration, I ain’t got none, but I got a clear conscience

‘Bout the things that I done

Mister state trooper please don’t stop me…

Maybe you got a kid, maybe you got a pretty wife

The only thing that I got’s been botherin’ me my whole life

Mister state trooper please don’t stop me

In the wee wee hours your mind gets hazy, radio relay towers lead me to my baby

Radio’s been jammed up with the talk show stations

It’s just talk, talk, talk til you lose your patience

mister state trooper, please don’t stop me

Hey somebody out there, listen to my last prayer

Hi ho silver-o deliver me from nowhere

Yes defense bar, there’s a reason behind police apprehensions in dealing with the public... you never know what is lurking within that car.

9.  Night the Lights Went out in Georgia-Bobby Laurence

This southern gothic song, made famous by Vicki Lawrence, tell the all too common tale of an innocent man being executed.  However, look at the stab onto his lawyers;

That’s the night the lights went out in Georgia

That’s the night they hung an innocent man

Well, don’t trust your soul to no backwoods Southern lawyer

Cause the judge in the town’s got blood stains on his hands.

As we are as Southern as you can get (at least from a geographical perspective), do we fall into this “backwoods” category?

10.  The Trial-Pink Floyd

The Roger Waters’ penned “The Wall” is hardly a legal theme but, rather, it more about a descent into madness. The Trial is used as a metaphor, yet the lyrics are so biting. Who in the court house has not had this attitude at some time?  

The voice before the court is incontrovertible

There’s no need for the jury to retire

In all my years of judging

I gave never heard before

Of someone more deserving the full penalty of law

The way you made them suffer

Your exquisite wife and mother

Fills me with the urge to defecate

(Go on, judge. Shit on him)

Since my friend you have revealed

Your deepest fear

I sentence you to be exposed to your peers

11.     Testify-Common

Veteran rapper Common penned this unique tale of a murder trial where the epiphany by the prosecution is at focus. In this song, a girlfriend provides the supporting testimony at a murder trial that doesn’t go well for the defense;

The court awaited as the foreman got the verdict from the bailiff

Emotional outbursts tears and smeared makeup

He stated, he was guilty on all charges

She shakin’ like she took it the hardest

A spin artist, she brought her face up laughin’

That’s when the prosecutor realized what happened

All that speaking her mind, testifyin’ and cryin’

When this bitch did the crime  

That last line really changes the context of the entirety of the preceding lyrics.

12.   Hurricane-Bob Dylan

I’ve saved the best for last. 

It should be as no surprise that one of the most important artists, in any form, wrote one of the most impactful songs of all time.  Can a song lead to an exoneration? For former boxer Rubin “Hurricane” Carter, it actually did. Writers Bob Dylan and Jacques Levy took an interest in this triple murder case where there many defensible aspects. The song was released on a 1975 album which exposed the case to a widespread attention. The song triggered increased public interest in the case leading to the raising of substantial funds used towards post-conviction representation. In 1985, a federal judge ruled that the prosecution was predicated upon racism meaning there was no fair trial resulting in the dismissal of the case. 

Dylan forwent any metaphors with the lyrics acting as an in-your-face indictment towards the jurisdiction that entertained such a debacle;  

Yes, here's the story of the Hurricane
The man the authorities came to blame
For somethin' that he never done

Put in a prison cell, but one time he could-a been
The champion of the world

        All of Rubin's cards were marked in advance
        The trial was a pig-circus, he never had a chance
        The judge made Rubin's witnesses drunkards from the slums
        To the white folks who watched he was a revolutionary bum  
        And to the black folks he was just a crazy nigger
        No one doubted that he pulled the trigger
        And though they could not produce the gun
        The D.A. said he was the one who did the deed
        And the all-white jury agreed

        Rubin Carter was falsely tried
        The crime was murder "one, " guess who testified?
      Bello and Bradley and they both baldly lied
       And the newspapers, they all went along for the ride
       How can the life of such a man
       Be in the palm of some fool's hand?
       To see him obviously framed
       Couldn't help but make me feel ashamed to live in a land
       Where justice is a game

Notice the common denominator among many of these tunes? Dylan, Springsteen, Earle, Zevon, Young, Common…these are serious songwriters, superior lyrists, very daring artists, thinkers outside the box. Is this not the same type of creativity desired for the practice of law? Documents and evidence should be reviewed over and over because…you may notice something that you didn’t see before?  Right?

These musical artists learned from the legal profession yet, at the same time, it is quite obvious that the legal profession may learn from these types of artists.

Is there a connection between criminal law and rock 'n' roll? Does a bear plotz in the woods?

THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:

BROWARD = BROWEIRD ....
ANOTHER JUDGE BITES THE DUST .......

You just can’t make this stuff up folks. Broward Judge John Contini resigned on July 6, 2018. Contini became an attorney in 1983 and he joined the Broward State Attorney’s Office where he spent four years. For the next 27 years he ran a criminal defense practice in Broward. He was elected to a six year term and took the bench in January of 2015. Ten months after he took the bench, Contini was already facing his first JQC investigation.

In November of 2015, the JQC filed charges alleging that Contini provided one-sided assistance to defense lawyers by emailing an assistant public defender with tips on writing motions for reduced sentences. They additionally charged that he acted unprofessionally when prosecutors complained about it.

Contini admitted to the allegations and apologized for his actions toward several attorneys, defendants, investigators and victims. In November of 2016, the Florida Supreme Court decided that Contini should receive a public reprimand and they also required him to deliver in person a written apology to the assistant attorney general whose court filing Contini called a "lie from the pit of hell".

Fast forward to 2018, and without warning, Contini resigned two weeks ago. This week, the JQC filed their newest charges against the now former judge. In their 157 page filing, they charge Judge Contini with, among other things:

1. On numerous occasions, you have instructed your JA to create dockets of fictitious cases or hearings on particular days of the week on which you planned to be absent from the courthouse. Your fabrication of these dockets was designed to create the impression that you were present in the Courthouse, when in fact, you were not.

3. On some days when you were absent from the Courthouse during regular business hours, you instructed your JA to email court business to you ... you also instructed her to lie and say you were in trial or unavailable to conduct hearings.

6. You inappropriately require your JA to perform personal tasks for you before, during, and after regular business hours ... including to: pay your personal bills and manage your personal finances; make personal travel arrangements; proofread and edit a manuscript for you; ....

The list goes on for a total of 11 counts. You can read all 157 pages by clicking on the link here:

Take the time to read some of the fascinating emails between the judge and his JA contained in the exhibits.

Best of luck to our colleague David Rothman who is representing the former judge.

FURTHER NORTH OF THE BORDER .....

So, you’re pregnant, and you are scheduled to give birth during the next trial setting. Your previous pregnancy resulted in you delivering a preemie six weeks early. You file a Motion for Continuance of the Trial Date and opposing counsel objects. That hearing played out in the courtroom of civil court Judge Cymonie Rowe, 15^th Judicial Circuit, in Palm Beach County last month.

The contestants: Plaintiff’s attorney Paul Reid of the law firm Shook, Hardy, and Bacon. He apparently represents an injured worker. Defense attorney Christen Luikart of the law firm Murphy Anderson represents defendant Genie Industries.

It was recently in the news that the Florida Supreme Court was considering a proposed rule that, if passed, would require judges to grant motions for continuance for parental leave, barring exceptional circumstances. This hearing may accelerate those plans to decide whether a formal rule is actually needed.

The entire transcript is attached and can be read by going here:

The relevant portion of the arguments for and against the MTC are contained on pages 58-70 of the transcript.

NOTE: After Reid repeatedly objected and argued the same point over and over again, the judge had had enough, and she Granted the Motion.

Have any of our readers experienced a similar situation where opposing counsel was objecting on similar grounds?  Anyone have an experience where a judge they were before was maybe reluctant to grant a continuance on similar grounds?

CAPTAIN OUT .......
Captain4Justice@gmail.com

MYSTERY BLOGGER

He writes about rock n- roll and law. And porn and law. And he is coming soon. Who could it be? A master trial lawyer; superb criminal defense attorney; former ASA and music aficionado. A new guest blogger is on the horizon.  

As Rumpole enters a "no-wifi" zone and disconnects from the world, new guest bloggers are stepping up. 
The dog-days of August are going to be long and hot and boring without your favourite blogger providing his award-winning commentary about life and law. 

Stay tuned. 

HUSH MONEY 
The President, who said "all the women are lying" decided to pay some. What a great gig- get paid for lying. 
CNN has the tape: the last twenty seconds are the most interesting. They talk about "funding" and Trump makes a reference to "paying in cash: and Cohen says "no no no no leave that to me."
And indeed he did. 

OUR GREATEST DAY

The history of the United States is filled with great days. Lincoln at Gettysburg; Eisenhower and D-Day. VE day. VJ day. The invention of the Polio Vaccine by Dr. Salk. 

But perhaps in the history of Human-Kind, July 20, 1969, will stand out as the greatest day of humanity. Led by the United States, and two courageous men. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin. We landed and walked on the moon. 

Stop for a moment and consider that again. Humanity, who once gazed across the seas and pondered what was on the other side, left Earth and landed on another Planet (yes the moon isn't a planet, but you get what we mean). We started off walking across the plains of Africa, crossing the ice bridge into North America. We conquered mountain ranges and deserts and oceans, and caves and the bottom of the sea. 

And then we turned our gaze to the heavens. 

It's hard to remember what a leader can do when s/he inspires instead of attacks. When s/he unites instead of divides. 
But that's what occurred in May, 1961,  when President Kennedy challenged a nation to put a man on the Moon by the end of the decade. 
We did it. 
It was our greatest accomplishment. Our greatest day. America's greatest day. Humanity's greatest day. Because we came for all mankind. 

So here is the landing, with all the drama of the 1201 and 1202 alarms. And listen closely as they are landing,  to the "60" second and then "30 second" calls. That's mission control telling Armstrong how much fuel he had left and it's why after the Eagle landed CapCom responded with "you got a bunch of guys about to turn blue here." They were holding their breath praying that Apollo 11 didn't run out of fuel. 

This is the MC loop so you can hear the comments between the men at Mission Control and Apollo 11. 
Astronaut Charlie Duke, who later walked on the moon during Apollo 16 is Capcom for the landing. He is the only one talking to the Eagle. 
The legendary Gene Kranz, who also was the hero for Apollo 13, was the flight director for the landing. You will hear him talking in the loop to his controllers. 
Here are some key moments: 

 6:10:  they were given "GO" to continued PD (powered descent). 
7:29: The 1202 alarm and by 7:50 MC had determined they were 12:02 alarm. 
10:58 the historic "GO/NO GO" for landing. 
11:06: Kranz tells Capcom they are GO for landing. 
11:08: Duke tells Eagle they are GO for landing. 
11:20: Within a second after acknowledging they are GO for landing Armstrong notes a 1201 alarm.
12:20:  There is an "attitude hold" as Armstrong at around 500 feet from the surface is actively looking for a landing spot. He is now manually piloting Eagle. 
12:25: Kranz tells his team that the only call-outs will be remaining fuel. From this point forward you hear Aldrin calling out the speed and altitude as Armstrong looks to land the Eagle. 

When people talk about American Exceptionalism, this is what they should be talking about. Kranz has enough faith in his men to let them do what they are trained to do. Armstrong is arguably the best pilot in the world, and all the training is now paying off as he is flying around large boulders, looking for a place to land, with just two minutes of fuel. Aldrin is cool as can be, giving Armstrong  velocity and altitude and rate of descent. This is teamwork at its finest. 

13:35: First fuel call: "low level".
13:47: 5% of fuel. 
13:57 60 seconds of fuel. Listen how cool Kranz is as he relays this information. 
13:59: Duke, with a little more urgency in his voice tells Eagle they have 60 seconds of fuel remaining. 
14:16: They are soooo close. Aldrin notes that they are "kicking up some dust". 
14:21: A controller tells Kranz they have 30 seconds of fuel.
14:28: Duke tells Eagle they have 30 seconds of fuel left. 
14:37 Aldrin calls out "Contact light!". The probe of the lander has touched the surface of the moon. The men now quickly go through their landing checklist. It's fascinating to hear. 
14:59: From Tranquility Base, perhaps the most historic words ever spoke in the history of the English Language "The Eagle Has Landed." And Duke responds about a "bunch of guys about to turn blue. We're breathing again." 
15:50: Kranz is still all business while everyone around him is going crazy and he calls for a T1 "Stay/No Stay". 

This is historic footage. Watch and listen to it all. It's worth it. 
This is American Exceptionalism. Not some nonsense about trade tariffs and who pays more for NATO. This is the real stuff Americans are made of. And we shall return. 

AN UNHAPPY ENDING

Wednesday is National Hot Dog day. No word on whether El Chapo Café will have specials. 
In over thirty years we have never, ever, eaten anything from any of the carts that populate the streets outside of the REGJB.

Query: has any reader eaten a hot dog from a cart outside of the courthouse? Reviews? 

WHAT NOT TO DO:
Dateline- Ohio. 
The Columbus Dispatch reports that attorney Brian W Benbow was in court with a client for a child-visitation matter in December, 2014. In a conference room that had a live video feed that was monitored by courthouse deputies, Benbow put his files and coat on his lap. and then his client's hand underneath the coat. 

A sex act ensued involving the client's metacarpophalangeal joints and the lawyer's intromittent organ. The ending of this union was anything but happy.  Benbow has been suspended by the Ohio Supreme Court for two years. 

Helpful Rumpole practice tip of the day. DO NOT DO THIS. 

FDC AND OTHER THINGS THAT ANNOY US

A STAR IS BORN:
Before we get to FDC, we must say that a blog-star is born. Our intrepid, erstwhile and putative REGJB Juror Mr. Samuel Danzinger, Esq., has left a comment, which we post here with the simple invitation- Mr. Danizger, the blog is yours to use and enjoy. Should you feel so inclined, please email us your thoughts, reminiscences of Dade legal days long gone, and those who wore black robes from that era, and we shall print them-unedited- on the front page, where your ideas and thoughts surely belong. 

Samuel R. Danziger said...

Right Hon Horace:
Seek and ye shall find a place to leave a comment. I sought and now found your comment section. First, I have just enjoyed each and every comment. As 5:43 said, I am a retired civil attorney who could not serve while being active with the Florida Bar. Now, second, the 3 1/2 x 3 1/2 magnets come from a firm by the name of Quotable Cards. (http://www.quotablecards.com/our-products/). The firm produces greeting cards, mugs,
magnets, etc and they are sold locally by Whole Foods. You will find a spin rack near their checkout registers although the selection may vary from your taste. In that event, please follow though and contact the firm for information on custom made.
All the best, Sam Danziger

STRAWS SUCK   STINK : (even we couldn't tolerate the pun).
Longtime and careful readers of the blog know that we have continually railed against the use of straws. They are unnecessary and an environmental hazard. The rest of the world has now caught up. Rumpole as a trailblazer once more. 

FDC: WTF? 
First of all, props where due. FDC is the best jail in Miami. You can email and have your clients waiting for. This is big. And we have seen a definite improvement in the staff hustling lawyers in and out, which is also much appreciated. 

But why does FDC need to know the license plate number of our car, as well as the make, model, year and color? It's  total waste of time to fill that stuff out. And how about this- when we take Uber or walk and indicate that on the form, at least half of the time they kick it back and ask us if we own a car and to list it. And this is the ridiculous part. Once the information is written, they do nothing with it. Otherwise they would want to know why a lawyer is driving a 1958 Powder Blue Edsel with the license plate from Alaska of "Trmpstnks"which is generally how we fill out the form. 

Second, we can email our request, why can't we at least have the forms on line or in PDF format so our crack staff can fill them out in our office and thus save us valuable time when we arrive? One might hope that a certain popular and influential blogger who runs a blog about the Southern District Of Florida would join this bandwagon and try and get FDC to allow the forms to be in PDF format on line so they can be filled out before hand. 

And don't even get us started on the locker placement/key issue. And when it is raining, and it is raining a lot these days, there is no place to leave an umbrella. 

Minutiae: 
We are also bothered that Starbucks puts a plastic lid on every cup, even those we drink inside the store. A waste of plastic at a time, environmentally, when we cannot keep doing that. 

Andy Weir's new novel-Atremis- about a lunar colony, is a good summer read. The Martian was great, and we recommend that if you haven't read it yet. 

Also, every now and then it's good for the soul and work to pick up Henry V and give it a re-read. There is nothing better than reading Shakespeare in a cool London Pub on a hot summer day with a pint of their best, or two. Henry V is  Shakes recounting of our England's great victory at the battle of Agincourt. The passions of men about to head into war. The intrigue of the clergy, who manipulated the lust for blood. 

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our English dead!
In peace there's nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility:

But when the blast of war blows in our ears,

Then imitate the action of the tiger.

And of course...

From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;

And the words all those who wear black robes, and all those who practice before them should heed: 

Men of few words are the best men.

From Occupied America, once more into the breach dear readers, once more...

MILLAN RESIGNS

Facing an uproar over his conduct, and a Florida Supreme Court not in the mood to tolerate Judicial name calling that has racial overtones, Judge Stephen Millan, who was elected to the Circuit bench, has resigned. 

A JUROR WRITES ABOUT BEING A JUROR IN THE REGJB

We received an email from a civic minded citizen who wrote about his recent experience as a juror in the REGJB. As is our wont, we responded asking if we could use the email and if he wanted us to use his name or not. He responded. 

Here is the second email authorizing us to use his name: 

Dear Mr Roark:

     First, I like the blog; you are congratulated, but,  most of all, your contributors must first be congratulated for without them you would just be spitting into the wind.

Now, you may only use my comment exactly as written and only with my name.  As  for civic duty,  be aware that I will be 81 years old in three weeks, have never been 

able to serve before by occupation even though being a resident of Dade County (Miami-Dade, ugh) since 1973.                          

                                                               Samuel R. Danziger

PS:  Apropos yours of WSC, I have a magnetic graphic on my refrigerator -

                                        NEVER

                                        NEVER

                                        NEVER

                                           GIVE

                                              UP

                                             wsc

And here is the first email from Mr. Danziger about his experience as a juror. 

Tuesday for the first time since moving to Dade County in 1973 I was called for Jury duty.

Looked forward to the day.  Reported at 8:30(as usual MetroRail has malfunction so Train was late – good old Dade County)instead of 8AM.  

After a rousing and enjoyable  welcome by Judge Sloan all jurors enjoyed talking, smartphones, generally lounging.

In the AM two panels were called out and then time for the noon break.  

In the PM, around 1:45, all remaining jurors were called and escorted from the 7^th floor Juror Pool room to the elevator lobby on the 5^th floor.  Put around 30-40 people in that dingy area,

not even enough hard benches to sit on so some sat on the floor(sat on the floor!) 

FOR TWO HOURS.  No word what was going on, NO ONE TO TELL THE ASSEMBLE TO GO BACK

TO THE JURY POOL ROOM. Eventually(@ 3:45) a little woman came to hand out  certificates of attendance, and told everyone to skeddatle. 

Yes sir, good old Gerstein building treatment courtesy of Dade County.  Is it any wonder anyone would opt for excuse rather than attend to a CIVIC DUTY ? 

Dear Mr. Danziger. 

Thank you for serving as a potential juror. We apologize for the inconvenience and uncomfortable surroundings of the fifth floor. We know the Judge responsible for this all-too-common snafu will read this. Perhaps in the future Judges will be more considerate to jurors sitting outside for hours (And on the floor!!). 

You were certainly owed a least a personal thank you by the Judge for keeping you all waiting. But then again, remember, this is a judge we are talking about, so we can only hope for so much. 

Thank you for staying in Dade County all these years when we are sure many of your peers fled north. 

And thank you for contributing to our blog. 

You have done your civic duty X 3. 

Well done sir!

Well done indeed. 

Your obt' srvt

Horace Rumpole, Esq, Blogger. 

PS. Where can we purchase a refrigerator magnet like you have? 

OTHER GREAT PREDICTIONS

In light of our "swing and a miss" on the nomination of Judge Hardiman to the Supreme Court, we reflect on failures great and small. 

Michael Jordan missed over 9,000 shots in his career. Twenty-six times he took the game-winning shot and missed. So failure is part of success. 

10) There's no way Bill Clinton, some hick-governor beats George Bush, a president who just won a war. 

9) I'm not sure Amazon will make it as a stock. 

8) Cameras in cell phones are a fad. 

7) Social media is a fad. 

6) Nobody will eat vegan for long. 

5) Diet beer? Are you kidding me?

4) WTF is Instagram? 

3) I'm sure they'll build a new criminal courthouse in Miami by 1990. 

2) The US will never elect a President with a middle name of Hussein. 

1) I wonder who will serve in the President Hillary Clinton  Cabinet?

The measure of a blogger is not how many times we fall down and fail, but how many times we get back up and blog again. 

COMING TOMORROW: A JUROR'S VIEW OF THE REGJB!

JUSTICE THOMAS HARDIMAN

UPDATE: JUST LABEL THIS UNDER "SOMETIMES WRONG NEVER IN DOUBT"

In the end  it wasn't so much that Judge Hardiman's working class background and now famous cab that he drove throughout law school that  appealed to the President as much as it was the privileged and Bush/DC insider status that turned POTUS off to the front runner Judge Brett Kavanaugh. 
What we known as of 4:26 PM EDST is that Judge Thomas Hardiman, of the Third Circuit Court of Appeals, where he happens to serve with another Judge who happens to be the sister of POTUS, will be nominated to replace Justice Anthony Kennedy. 

Judge Kavanaugh didn't even make it to the top two. The runner-up this time around is conservative darling of the religious right- Judge Amy Barrett. But it was Senator McConnell (R-no morals, ideals, or principals) who warned Trump off of Judge Barrett, telling the President that her right wing religious views would lose at least three Republican senators votes which would be more than enough to defeat the Judge. 

The President is notoriously (stupid, feckless) fickle,  could change his mind (or what acts as his mind) in the next few hours. But as of now, the White House is preparing to roll out Judge Hardiman, a reliably conservative vote in the manner of Justice Alito-but less so- in the 9PM TV extravaganza. 

Johnny- tell our contestant what he has won.

"Judge Hardman. Congratulations! You have won an all expense paid relocation to Washington, DC, where you will be given chambers at the spacious Supreme Court located in our nations capital. You will be given a lifetime appointment and will receive your salary to the day you die. You will work from later September through June, and will be able to schedule your summer months with lucrative teaching positions in England, Germany, Australia, or Spain to name but a few of the countries that have universities that will bid for your services. 
But wait! There's more! You will receive a spacious chambers with room for clerks who will read the records, read the briefs, and write your first drafts. You will be invited to lunch by Justice Clarence Thomas where he will regale you with tales of what he is texting during oral argument. 
All of this, and more can be yours Judge Hardiman, if you just go to the Senate and refuse to answer any questions about overturning Roe v. Wade with the response that you cannot comment on hypothetical cases that are not yet before the court. "

From Occupied America, we can fight the power, but if Hardiman is the choice, he is a shoe-in and will garner three to five democratic votes as well. 

MORE PUBLICITY

More publicity for the best legal blog around (yawn). 

Now its the local DBR tagging on to our ground breaking, Pulitzer Prize worthy stories about judicial candidate Elena Ortega-Tauler.

Here is the link but you have to pay them money, or just read this blog for free. 

SO YOU SAY YOU WANT TO BE A BLOGGER

Favourite legal movies... 
Rumpole's:  "The Verdict." Paul Newman. Miles O'Shea. Jack Warden. James Mason as Ed Concannon the villainous insurance defense attorney-opposing counsel. Paul Newman calls him a "good man" and Warden responds "A good man? He's the prince of fucking darkness. He'll have a dozen people testifying they saw her water-skiing last weekend." Newman's client is in a coma having been given the wrong anesthesia because the doctor mis-read the admitting form.  A legal Rocky story. 

David O. Markus's Fav: "A few Good Men". Rumor has it he watches it on the eve of every trial. 

So you say you want to be a blogger? Enjoy the fame and fortune and the blogging groupies that follow The Captain around posting on Snap-Chat his every move? 

Well now you can. 
Rumpole is off next month to parts unknown. Not England, fair England, she of Wi-fi access in every Pub and Pret-a-Manger. 
But places like, perhaps Everest, where there's a motor-cycle tour up to and near the bottom base camp. Or, perhaps, the boarder of Thailand and Laos, where once upon a time in a previous century, a young Rumpole wrote movingly of the battles of the Hmong against the Communist. 
Or even the Kamchatka Peninsula, where a dip in the Sea of Okhotsk could restore a battered blogger's soul. 

The point is we are not expecting internet access. We will not be blogging about the pedestrian effluence of our REGJB, the comings and goings of Judges, and lawyers, and defendants and jurors. 

Can you fill the void? Can you step up, like Lou Gehrig did and make Rumpole a modern day Wally Pip?  Maybe fame and fortune await. Life doesn't present many opportunities. This could be one. 

Apply within. 
Howardroark21@gmail.com.

ENGLAND WINS! HAPPY FOURTH

Rumpole has quietly decamped to the Basil Street Hotel in Knightsbridge, London, where we have escaped the Miami heat, and rooted for the lads, who emerged victorious Tuesday, in a shootout over Colombia. The game was especially exciting, with the Colombian team tying the game in literally the last seconds on a corner kick and beautiful header. Two over-time periods later, the score was still 1-1 and England faced the dreaded shootout, in which the national team has suffered heartbreak in 1990, 1996, and 2006. But Tuesday was different and The Three Lions roared and England emerged victorious. We raised several glasses of stout and sang Rule Britannia and God Save The Queen, and reveled in the victory, even as our fellow revelers in the pub gave little thought to the upcoming anniversary of the loss of the Thirteen Colonies in 1776. 

Fifty years to the day after they signed the Declaration of Independence, Presidents John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, the last surviving Founding Fathers, passed away on July 4, 1826. When Adams died, he was reported to have said about his old friend, and then rival for the presidency "And Jefferson Lives". Adams did not know that a few hours earlier Jefferson had passed away as well. 

While the pedestrian blogger would be tempted to quote "we hold these truths to be self evident..." we are far from pedestrian. 
Instead, as the times dictate, we publish the portion of text that talks about when it is the right and duty of citizens to rise up and abolish governments that "becomes destructive". (Hmmmmm, what governments  have recently become destructive by separating children from their families, and glorifying ignorance over science by denying global warming?)

Words from a time well gone that have special relevance today. 

That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government.

From Free England, from whence the colonies once broke free, and where now the English once again, along with the French and Germans (but not America), light the darkness of oppression with the principles of freedom and humanity, fight the power!

THINGS THAT BOTHER US

There is a sign in the Broward County Main Jail (yes, Rumpole has been there recently. Don't ask. The whole county gives us the willies) that informs attorneys that they cannot hand anything to their client, including a business card. Then the sign says this "Attorney, wishes to leave any information such as telephone number or other pertinent information..." and it goes on to tell the lawyer how to do so. 
Did anyone proof read this? It should read, we think, "Attorneys who wish to leave..." But it doesn't. And this isn't a hand-written sign. It's an official one made at some factory or what-have-you. It should be embarrassing to the jail, but it being Broward, they don't care. 

IPADS: But speaking of Broward, want to bring your Ipad into the Broward jail to make notes during your meeting with your client? Go right ahead. Just bring it in. Want to bring your Ipad into the Dade County Jail and if your last name isn't Ovalle, then sure, just do the following: 1) Call a number that won't be answered; 2) Send an email to an account that isn't active;  3) Obtain the permission of various captains, lieutenants, majors, shift commanders, who will then approve it and leave a letter authorizing you to bring your Ipad in. Approximate elapsed time from beginning to end- eight months. Then on the big day, none of the paper work is available, the corrections officers on duty look at you like you've lost your mind, they claim none of the people on your copy of the paperwork even work at the jail, and they open a criminal investigation into you smuggling contraband into the jail. Or you can just call David Ovalle and ask him to come with you. 

CALLING THE DADE PDS:
This is a fun one. If you want to waste your day and try and get a Dade County PD to answer their phone after you call 305-545-1600, here is a brief synopsis of what will occur (there isn't enough space on the web to detail all the indignities you will go through):

Do we want general information? No, we will not be going to the website to get general information. Nice try. 

The interesting part when you punch all the buttons (English? yes, Spanish? No; Creole? No, etc) is that a woman's voice warns you that if you are not a CLIENT calling to discuss your case, then no one will assist you. 

Hmm...we thought to ourselves. This is interesting. We aren't a client. We are calling to speak to an assistant PD to actually tell them something about a case that will assist them. 

What if a judge was calling? Well, our care and concern about the judiciary is well documented, so we have no dog in that fight. 

Well, we thought, lets just see what the assistant says when they pick up. 

Oh..we are such optimistic, pie-in-the-sky-dreamers! 

We are then told that if we have our assistant public defenders number, to please hang up and call them directly. Okay. Makes sense. But consider this, from a vaunted legal theorist and advocate- IF WE HAD THE NUMBER OF THE ASSISTANT PUBLIC DEFENDER WE WANTED TO SPEAK TO, WE WOULD NOT BE CALLING THE MAIN NUMBER GENIUS. 
Just sayin... 

Next we are told that a "call center specialist" would assist us shortly. 
Hmmm...this could be bad. Are we being re-directed to India, where a majority of "call center specialists" work for 22 cents an hour? We've never met a PD call center specialist? Have you? 

Happy Hour Interlocutor: "Hi what do you do?"
PDCCS: "I'm a PD call center specialist"
HHI: "Sounds interesting."
PDCCS: "It's not as exciting as it sounds."

Our day dream is interrupted by a message : "thank you for your patience as we assist other callers …" 
Ah.... the end is near. 

We called from our car. Twelve minutes later, after two messages apologizing for the delay, we switched to our cell, and walked into the Starbucks, our Bluetooth headset firmly in our ears and working well. 
More apologies. More music. More everything! Except a person. 
The PDs office must have more callers than....Amazon; The Pentagon; The Impeach Donald Trump Hotline; Whatever. 

Actually we have another, more fascinating theory: Is it possible that Mr. Martinez's office is more technologically advanced than we suspected? Were they able to access our cell phone, get our name, compare it with their client list, see we are not a client, and send us into phone purgatory because as we were first warned, if we were not a client calling about a case, no one would help us? 
It's very "Big Brotherish" 

So dear readers, there you have it. The petty, picayune, annoyances that your blogger experiences on a daily basis. 

Let's let the same person who wrote the sign in the Broward Jail sign is off:
"From Occupied. American. Fight the, Power. "

GET A LIFE

We received this comment over the weekend:

Anonymous said...

Why does Rumpole take the weekend off - and not put up comments.

Come on Man. I check it a hundred times for updates on Saturday and Sunday.

Please comply - or I’m going to start following the civil courthouse and Flagler Street.

Help!

Sunday, July 01, 2018 1:33:00 PM

Rumpole to Anonymous: Get a life. 

Coming soon (hopefully today) Kennedy and Casey: A brilliant legal analysis of one of Justice Kennedy's impactful opinions by the best legal blogger on earth.