Did anyone proof read this? It should read, we think, "Attorneys who wish to leave..." But it doesn't. And this isn't a hand-written sign. It's an official one made at some factory or what-have-you. It should be embarrassing to the jail, but it being Broward, they don't care.
IPADS: But speaking of Broward, want to bring your Ipad into the Broward jail to make notes during your meeting with your client? Go right ahead. Just bring it in. Want to bring your Ipad into the Dade County Jail and if your last name isn't Ovalle, then sure, just do the following: 1) Call a number that won't be answered; 2) Send an email to an account that isn't active; 3) Obtain the permission of various captains, lieutenants, majors, shift commanders, who will then approve it and leave a letter authorizing you to bring your Ipad in. Approximate elapsed time from beginning to end- eight months. Then on the big day, none of the paper work is available, the corrections officers on duty look at you like you've lost your mind, they claim none of the people on your copy of the paperwork even work at the jail, and they open a criminal investigation into you smuggling contraband into the jail. Or you can just call David Ovalle and ask him to come with you.
CALLING THE DADE PDS:
This is a fun one. If you want to waste your day and try and get a Dade County PD to answer their phone after you call 305-545-1600, here is a brief synopsis of what will occur (there isn't enough space on the web to detail all the indignities you will go through):
Do we want general information? No, we will not be going to the website to get general information. Nice try.
The interesting part when you punch all the buttons (English? yes, Spanish? No; Creole? No, etc) is that a woman's voice warns you that if you are not a CLIENT calling to discuss your case, then no one will assist you.
Hmm...we thought to ourselves. This is interesting. We aren't a client. We are calling to speak to an assistant PD to actually tell them something about a case that will assist them.
What if a judge was calling? Well, our care and concern about the judiciary is well documented, so we have no dog in that fight.
Well, we thought, lets just see what the assistant says when they pick up.
Oh..we are such optimistic, pie-in-the-sky-dreamers!
We are then told that if we have our assistant public defenders number, to please hang up and call them directly. Okay. Makes sense. But consider this, from a vaunted legal theorist and advocate- IF WE HAD THE NUMBER OF THE ASSISTANT PUBLIC DEFENDER WE WANTED TO SPEAK TO, WE WOULD NOT BE CALLING THE MAIN NUMBER GENIUS.
Next we are told that a "call center specialist" would assist us shortly.
Hmmm...this could be bad. Are we being re-directed to India, where a majority of "call center specialists" work for 22 cents an hour? We've never met a PD call center specialist? Have you?
Happy Hour Interlocutor: "Hi what do you do?"
PDCCS: "I'm a PD call center specialist"
HHI: "Sounds interesting."
PDCCS: "It's not as exciting as it sounds."
Our day dream is interrupted by a message : "thank you for your patience as we assist other callers …"
Ah.... the end is near.
We called from our car. Twelve minutes later, after two messages apologizing for the delay, we switched to our cell, and walked into the Starbucks, our Bluetooth headset firmly in our ears and working well.
More apologies. More music. More everything! Except a person.
The PDs office must have more callers than....Amazon; The Pentagon; The Impeach Donald Trump Hotline; Whatever.
Actually we have another, more fascinating theory: Is it possible that Mr. Martinez's office is more technologically advanced than we suspected? Were they able to access our cell phone, get our name, compare it with their client list, see we are not a client, and send us into phone purgatory because as we were first warned, if we were not a client calling about a case, no one would help us?
It's very "Big Brotherish"
So dear readers, there you have it. The petty, picayune, annoyances that your blogger experiences on a daily basis.
Let's let the same person who wrote the sign in the Broward Jail sign is off:
"From Occupied. American. Fight the, Power. "