In 1989, history reveals that a woman named Elaine had an encounter with an alien in a bar in a Holiday Inn in Paramus, New Jersey.
The alien told Elaine that the world would end on Valentine's Day, 2016.
If you're like us, you aren't prepared. There's four pounds of stone crabs that a client gave us recently, still in the freezer. Can't let those go to waste. And we have stuff at the dry cleansers we haven't picked up and don't you know, they're closed on Sunday. And there's that sentencing in a few weeks before Judge Cooke and we haven't filed a motion to continue.
There's a price to pay for procrastination.
The revelation of the ends of days comes from the culturally significant piece of cinema verite: Ghostbusters, II.
This could not come at a worse time. Monday's a holiday, and now that's a waste. And we just had that difficult trial in Tampa, which if the world had ended a few weeks ago, we would have been spared the intimate knowledge of Tampa's airport in general, and SouthWest Airline's terminal and gates in particular.
So, we're defrosting the stone crabs and opening that bottle of 40th Anniversary Camus, and we wish you a fond farewell.
Unless of course, Ghostbusters, II, for all of it's cultural significance, has made a mistake in reporting the infamous alien encounter.
See you in court on Tuesday, maybe? Hopefully.
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