WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. THIS BLOG HAS BEEN CALLED "THE DEFINITIVE BLOG ON MIAMI CRIMINAL LAW" BY THE NY TIMES, THE WASHINGTON POST, THE POPE, AND DONALD TRUMP WHO ALSO ONCE SAID IT WAS "REALLY GREAT". POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM

Sunday, December 06, 2015

NFL 2015 GUN EDITION

In honor of the NY Times putting an editorial on gun violence on the front page- the Times hasn't put an editorial on the front page since 1920- we present our NFL picks in firearm fashion, noting that there are more guns than people in the US. Indeed the second amendment states "There must be more guns than people in the country." 

And lets not forget the famous statement of George Washington as he crossed the Potomac river on Christmas Eve to save the Capital  from marauding Muslims hordes: "They'll get my gun when they pry it from my cold, dead hands." 

And of course the bible, which states "And thou shall go forth and multiply and all the lands and all the seas shall belong to your people so long as they shall each keep a firearm in their homes for the days of their lives, for on this day I say unto you 'guns don't kill people, people who don't believe in the lord kill people.' And you shall go forth and shoot all your enemies dead. Thus sayeth the lord." 
JimBob II:14-18. 

This is a sport that employs the Shotgun and Pistol formations. Star quarterbacks are said to "have a rifle" for an arm, and they "gun the ball" to their receivers. The key player on special teams who runs down the field to make the tackle is the "gunner".  High scoring games are a "shootout" and mistakes are characterized as "shooting himself in the foot.

With the biblical and constitutional foundation  for firearms firmly in place, we make our picks: 

Ravens at Fins.  No shootout here, but the Fins bounce back. Miami -3.5. 

Cowpokes at Skins. In the 1970's Coach Landry revitalized the long gone "shotgun" formation with Roger Staubach. For a while, they were the only team using the formation. We also remember the "Flex" defense which was brilliant and should be revived. But the current pokes can't hold a candle to those Cowboys. They have a pop-gun offense. Skins -3.5. 

Broncos at Chargers. Dangerous game for Denver. Bolts will keep it close. But we like the over 43.5. 






9 comments:

Fake Rick Freedman said...

Rumpole. I'm still filling in one more week as Fake Jay White battles some periodontal disease and a touch of gout.

Let me fill you in on the two point conversion: it was the simple Power I left 32 that has been in the playbook probably before Shula. Czonk ran it all the time and its a zone blocking scheme but no one is pulling or trapping. The two consecutive offsides sent Harbaugh into a frenzy on the two extra points-first one was missed and the second one blocked. On the first one the end lined up offsides and on the second one the nose tackle just jumped. Both calls were clear.
At the end of the half here, we're up 15-3 and the beer is flowing and the cheeleaders are dancin and we're all yelling "and thats another Miami Dolphins First down!!" Could anything be better?
Miami has the dolphins
the greatest football team....

sir barf a lot (colby's mutt) said...

Lets go Chargers!! arf arf

Anonymous said...

The last great football player i ever saw was Ed Podalack. They're all downhill after that.

Fake Rick Freedman said...

Fun fact- all 15 dophinpoints today have come off of turnovers. And weak soft corner play is killing us (again) as can be seen by the td we just gave up.

Anonymous said...

I absolutely LOVE when Rumpole intends to parody Christian evangelicals and calls them "Jim Bob". That little touch of color really reinforces his point and demonstrates his intelligence and his eminent skills of persuasion. It's so funny and effective, this is the second time in a matter of months he has used it! What an advocate! What a trial lawyer!

And he is no one trick pony. When he intends to parody an African American, he calls her LaQueesha. When he intends to parody a Jewish person -- Hymie, of course. There's no way he would ONLY resort to base stereotypes when it comes to Christian evangelicals.

Fake Rick Freedman said...

It was like old times in the parking lot after the game today, with some of the old guys getting together, hoisting a few and singing some of the old favorites including
"Shula Shula" (sung to the tune of the Archies Sugar Sugar), The Jake Scott Jazzy Blues, Czonka left, Czonka right, go with Merc fight fight fight!, and for some odd reason, Sinead O'Connor's "nothing compares to you".
The shots were flowing.

Anonymous said...

The Dade SAO under Gerstein was up to its ears in the Watergate coverup. Google Martin Dardis. You will see, there are still more smoking guns to uncover.

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Anonymous said...

Is hot_blonde_esq_to_be a Dolphins fan?