WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. THIS BLOG HAS BEEN CALLED "THE DEFINITIVE BLOG ON MIAMI CRIMINAL LAW" BY THE NY TIMES, THE WASHINGTON POST, THE POPE, AND DONALD TRUMP WHO ALSO ONCE SAID IT WAS "REALLY GREAT". POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM

Thursday, December 24, 2015

EPISODE IV A NEW HOPE BROWARD EDITION

UPDATE BELOW After many years of dealing with a system, where in my opinion, the concept of human dignity, and the responsibility of the prosecutor to protect the innocent from wrongful conviction are essentially ignored, I have decided that I need to take a stand. As many of you already know, I am running for Broward County State Attorney. I officially filed on December 4, 2015, and I am currently working on the infrastructure of the campaign. Part of what motivates me is what I have learned about the four individuals who served decades in prison, only to be deemed subsequently exonerated, and the fact that the Innocence Project called for the independent investigation of this office as a result. I am hopeful that 2015 will mark the beginning of the revolution of the criminal justice system on a national level. I believe that we can bring justice "North of the Border," and put an end to my need to rant on this listserve. I wish all of you a wonderful holiday season and a happy and productive new year. I am hopeful that at the end of 2016, there will be much to celebrate. 

 Sincerely- Teresa Williams


IN THE DARK LORD SATZ'S OFFICE:

HRSAOF*: Sir, we've analyzed the rebel's campaign. There is a slight chance of success. 

Dark Lord Satz (DLS): 

In our moment of triumph? I think you overestimate their chances of success.  If I win this election, my grip on the empire of Broward will be complete. 

HRSAOF: As you wish, my lord. 


 (raising a black-gloved hand and slowly making a fist): But there is one thing. Bring me this blogger. This Rumpole. I will crush him like Anthony Caravella. 

HRSAOF: But my lord, Caravella was rescued by the rebel alliance in 2010. 

  That is of little concern. I kept that innocent man in prison for 26 years. That will be a good start for this impertinent flea in Dade-County.  Bring him to me....and I will crush him and the entire Rebel Alliance.

HRSAOF: Why bother about him, my lord? He doesn't even come to Broward County.

  He insulted my mother. 

HRSAOF: My lord, he called you a son-of-a-wookie.

  Which means my mother was a Wookie. My mother was a saint. A saint. There won't be any books written about my mother, but she was a saint. 

HRSAOF: My lord, now you are quoting Nixon again when he made his farewell remarks to the white house staff the day he resigned. 

 Nixon was a saint as well. The best president we've ever had. Johnson taped people. Kennedy bugged the oval office. But Nixon was forced to resign. 
Why ? Why? 

HRSAOF: He lied to the nation about Watergate my lord...

  Never mind all that...just bring me this blogger from Miami. 

Next....Episode V: 
The Empire Strikes Back....

    "If you only knew the power of the dark side of the force in Broward..." 

* High Ranking State Attorney Office Flunky 


25 comments:

Anonymous said...

Greatest post in the history of blogs ever.

FREE BROWARD COUNTY.

Anonymous said...

Free Santa Claus

Anonymous said...

When your platform consists of a "national revolution" in the criminal justice system and you are running for state attorney, fold up the tent. The public does not want a liberal leaning revolutionary crime fighter. The state attorneys office in broward is a disgrace to the criminal justice system. But the general public could give three shits about the rights of accused criminals. And when you announce your candidacy on a criminal defense blog, that's not a good sign either. All that said, it is about time some stood up to that old bag of shit who runs that office. Good luck and where do I send the check.

Shumie nation said...

The bars the cars the cigars The REN
THE RISE OF SHUMIE NATION 2016
(Cue ominous music )

Rufus T. Firefly said...

WARNING
If any fat white guy in a red fur suit, stealthily enters my home tonight, he is getting 2 or 3 rounds of 9mms, center- mass

The Professor said...

Very nice, Rump.

Anonymous said...

Some high falutin crim def atty comes sauntering into court today with clients expecting a trial. WHat a putz. Came all the way to court for nothing. We nolle prossed - gonna re-file/ Hope we ruined your holiday and your clients' holiday.
ASAs laughing at you over egg nog.

Anonymous said...

As a long time ASA I have always been embarrassed by what I have heard about Satz. Someone needs to take him out. Good luck to Terry. Good Asa when she worked at sao

Anonymous said...

Mike Satz is actually a nice and decent guy. Just saying!

Anonymous said...

Yeah star wars very funny.

So I just came home from eating alone in the Benihanas bar because I have no one. My family texted me twice today just to make sure I paid the credit card balance because they want to stay another week in Aspen and they need to make sure they can pay for it. Not that my ex-wife has problems getting by on the 17,600 alimony per month and the two million in cash she was awarded. F- her. And my greedy family that doesn't care about me. It stinks to be alone on xmas eve but its even worse to be surrounded by greedy people who just view me as a spigot of money to pay their way in life.

Merry F'ing christmas. Life is hard.

Anonymous said...

@ 842 , I hope that you are joking. But you do sound like a pain in the ass so perhaps not. If you only had to give your wife two million after a life with you, consider yourself lucky. And if your net worth was 4 million your kids should be in Dillian not Aspen. Merry Xmas to you and thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Black lives matter leader Asha Long "black lives are disturbed every day". Their response - disrupt a mall and an airport so people contributing to society and the economy are shut down.

Great ploy. In the long run, if you keep distrusting "white business" there will be no taxes for your welfare.

Anonymous said...

842 here. All the expert divorce lawyers come out of the woodwork when they look at your divorce. Ever hear of imputed income ? I had 2.1 million in equities. She got 2. She got rehabilitative alimony of 1.2 million which I am paying off at between 15-20 k a month. There 2% interest. She gets 3500 a month in child support and that doesn't include the 67,000 a year I have to pay in private schooling until 2022 which by then will be more. I've sold my house , car, law office condo and I am living in an 1100 a month shit hole and I am driving a 2008 Ford Explorer with 97k mikes I bought last year. I am up to my ears in debt and I need to make 40 a month before I can take a penny for myself. That's ten a week every week 52 weeks a year to not even break even.
Merry f'ing X mas. I have no future. I'm just like a freaking mine worker except if I don't mine enough gems I get hauled into court every month and I have to pay the bills of the fucking asshole lawyer she uses to boot.
Happy new year? Wtf do I have to be happy about ??

Anonymous said...

8:42 Was this a result of a settlement that you agreed to or a trial. If a trial why no appeal? The divorce lawyers are truly the scum of the earth and play on the emotions of the parties. Once they see a lawyer getting a divorce its like the shark in the water smelling blood.They care not about their clients, but only billing the husband at a high hourly rate, they run up the hours, hire their buddies the forescenic accountants and its off to the races until the martial assets dry up.

Anonymous said...

To the Professor: we would like to send you a private email. Please post one in the comments. Thanks.

The Professor said...

Irwincorey67@gmail.com

Play on player said...

You guys married guys are suckas. How can you even think of getting married when you live in Miami??? The chicks out here are ridiculous. Every day there's a hotter chick walking around this city. If you're a lawyer and you're married, you're doing it wrong. At the very least, knowing that most 50% of marriages end in divorce, don't get married. Just string her along as long as possible but never put a ring on it. C'mon mannnnnn.

Anonymous said...

Rumpole, whether you realize it or not, there were and are continuing discussions about you in the inner sanctum of the broward sao and the disrupting role you could play in the election. Whether you were being funny or whether someone else tipped you off, they are contemplating ways to reveal your identity and then a bar complaint which they know in the end will not work but they believe if they time it right they can muzzle you during the campaigning period.

You have no idea of the influence you have up here. They are more afraid of you then the JAA Blog.

Be warned and be careful.

A broward friend.

PSS- I am so frightened of them that I went to a local Fed Ex Kinkos and signed on with one of their computers to write this post so there is no way they can trace me. You have no idea of the power their wield and their desire to use it all and do anything to stop anyone from challenging them. The reference to Nixon- again- I don't know if you were just freewheeling or have inside info- is more on point than you realize.

Anonymous said...

Personally Rump I would take that warning seriously.

Anonymous said...

We are all from the criminal defense community, supposedly tough mothafuckas. Will someone say what's really going on in satzville, or are we to shake in our collective wing-tips waiting for the axe to fall on rumpole. Or is this some war of the world-type hoax, designed to deliver pleasant shivers for the holidays.

Seriously, what is going on and what can we do to defend our blog-wallah

Anonymous said...

You don't see women named Millicent or Mildred anymore. Any reason why?

On a different note, I am proposing a plan to re-name/number the courtrooms in the justice building based on compass direction. So 2-11 becomes 2 North, or 3-4 becomes #3 West, etc.

Anonymous said...

2:02- this is 10:45. I'm using my friend's phone in a public wi-fi area, and quite frankly I suggest all of you do the same.

Yes my warning is real. Or Rumpole can ignore it at his own peril. I'm just trying to do a mitzvah here-take it or not. My ass is safe because I stay under the radar and do what the evil emperor wants. I try my cases and cash my checks and i'm in DROP.

Anonymous said...

I'm not on the inside but I am close to it. He is right. They are gunning for you to shut you down during the election. Your anonymity scares them- and your writing ability is so much better than JAA Blog, they feel you are a threat. Cover your tracks buddy.

Anonymous said...

We got Rumpole's back. He may be a jerk at times, but he's our jerk.

(some of) The Judges of Dade.

Kissimmee Kid said...

2:02:00,

Any lawyer who gets divorced will get hammered. Judges can not try divorce cases for lawyers they know. Judges who don't know the lawyer try the case. Lawyers are assholes. Judges hate lawyers. Any lawyer who goes to trial gets crushed.

If you read a divorce appellate decisions where one side seems to being unfairly hammered and the appeals court seems to condone and applaud the unfairness of the trial below, look for the footnote that says, "the husband's law practice . . ."