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Monday, December 14, 2015

EVEN MORE AND MORE EVIDENCE OF THE DECLINE OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION

UPDATE: Davis to go it alone? 
When we last embattled and imprisoned former Dade County circuit judge Phil Davis, his appeal was affirmed and he was serving a lengthy prison sentence. 
Davis filed a rule 3. He has a hearing before Milt Hirsch  tomorrow. Rumor- and this is a rumor- has it that he has canned his counsel and will be going it alone tomorrow, ignoring that adage that a lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client. 

But then, Davis never did make wise decisions on his behalf. 

With apologies to Roy Black, but here is even more evidence of the decline of Western Civilization:

Item One: A Miami lawyer was arrested recently for bringing a loaded firearm into Disney World.
This is what he was imagining: 
Orlando Sun Sentinel: LAWYER SAVES CIVILIZATION 
"An alert Miami lawyer saved the world today when he intercepted a rogue band of ISIS warriors who had snuck over the boarder in a small vessel painted "Trump's Yacht". Once in the United States, the ISIS fighters rendezvoused  at Frontier Land before heading to the famous It's A Small World ride. 'I saw a muslim looking man carrying a small device. He looked out of place on the It's a Small World Ride. I was suspicious. I said to myself:  'self, that looks like a small thermo-nuclear weapon'.  I withdrew my firearm and ordered him to halt. He said "Allah ahkabar" and attempted to detonate the device but first I shot his hand away and then I shot him and his accomplices dead. Asked why he brought a loaded gun into a Disney World theme park, the lawyer said "I thought something like this could happen, so I wanted to be ready." Disney announced that the lawyer and his family would be the guests of honor for the next two days and would lead the 5PM parade through the park."

Here's what really happened- some idiot brought a loaded gun into a Disney Theme park and was arrested. He happened to be a Miami lawyer. Here's the channel ten video on the arrest. 

Item Two: Major League Baseball continued the lifetime ban on the major league baseball all time hit leader -Pete Rose- because Rose admitted he was still gambling on baseball.

Item Three: Florida Supreme Court to Judge Jacqueline Schwartz: F-You Too! (warning- not safe for work. Contains an expletive not deleted.) 
A judicial public reprimand occurs when the Florida Supreme Court summons a robe wearer to Tallahassee and dresses them down in public for their actions. 

Judge Jacqueline Schwartz received such a reprimand last week for her actions when she confronted a store owner who had a sign of her opponent displayed. We'd like to think the encounter occurred something like this: 

JS "Pardon me good sir. May I have a moment of your time?"

Store Owner: "Why of course. May I recommend the cauliflower. It's on sale today and quite fresh."

JS: "Thank you. I'm sure it's delightful, however I am not interested in cruciferous  vegetables at this moment."

SO: "How may I be of assistance to you madam?"

JS: "This sign you have displayed. Are you aware this distinguished fellow is running for the judicial seat I currently occupy?"

SO: "Why no, I was not aware of that. However my support for your opponent is, I am afraid to say, quite firm."

JS: "Quite indeed. Would you consider taking it down as I am patron of your fine establishment?"

SO: "Alas I cannot do that."

JS: "Go fuck yourself."

And thus ended another uniquely Miami moment, destined to remain infamous in the annals of judicial election history. Here is one of our many prior posts on the F-You and the horse you rode in on case. Here is another one. 

Anyone trying cases these two weeks? 

See You In Court. 

7 comments:

Fake Rick Freedman said...

Fake Jay White is still out with a sports hernia and a touch of rheumatism so I will continue to fill in.

Dolphin TD run. Giants sent a safety dog three times in a row. On the third time they called a power trap left 34, caught the safety up field and that gave Miller one man to beat and an easy TD. Very nice call by Campbell and the Fins and a nice way to start the game.

Large turn out here at the stadium and I saw more than one judge and judicial candidate working the parking lot dinner crowd before the game. Now another beer for me and back to the game. Lets go Dolphins.

Anonymous said...

Im watching the game. Ad for Cialis. Who is taking Cialis but their heart is not healthy enough for sex? And whats the deal with the woody lasting more than four hours? Is it worth it?

Anonymous said...

I saw Kenny and Colby eating the peanut butter crunch cake at Untitled last night in Manhattan. Could have sworn Urban Meyer was with them. Strange.

Anonymous said...

For your uncouth readers, Untitled is at the Whitney in the meatpacking district. Try the sea scallops in a bowl of sweet watermelon gazpacho with lemon cucumbers and peaches= it will change your life.

All the desserts are great. Lots of fruit and berries in the dishes .

Anonymous said...

The REN a venue is often imitated but never equaled.

Anonymous said...

Get the duck carnitas as Cosme- that will change your life. Or even better- the scallops with poached jicama, or the husk meringue with corn mousse. Now that's eating. 3 star mexican we dont have anything like it here in the 305.

Kenneth Weisman said...

There actually is a restaurant that Judge Colby and I truly love. I would strongly suggest trying Benu to anyone planning a trip to Northern Ca. The food is sublime and the menu is always changing.