Monday, July 25, 2011


MONDAY UPDATE: NFL LOCKOUT IS OVER! Free agent signings will be allowed by as early as Tuesday. Dolphins not expected to make big splash but may lose one or two of their starting running backs from last year.
NO MOVEMENT ON DEBT CRISIS as competing Republican and Democratic plans falter amid internicine politics.

Even the hardest working attorney takes holiday every now and then.

Bu fear not, a loyal army of blog assistants will pitch in and the blog will run smoothly. So post your comments and we'll try and stay on top of the issues as they emerge.

A heat wave has blanketed most of the country (but if you're a Republican it was not because of global warming, so just keep praying for cooler weather).

We hereby humbly offer our Summer Cooler ( (c) Rumpole 2011) to help our northern friends stay cool:

Squeeze one large organic navel orange into a container along with the juice of two organic lemons and one organic lime. Pour in three quarts of cold water and two tablespoons of agave sweetener. Pour in some ice and let sit. While waiting, go into the refrigerator and start drinking cold beer. When done, your summer cooler will be ready. Rinse. Repeat.

Does section 4 of the 14 Amendment allow the President to raise the debt ceiling all on his own?

Section. 4. The validity of the public debt of the United States, authorized by law, including debts incurred for payment of pensions and bounties for services in suppressing insurrection or rebellion, shall not be questioned. But neither the United States nor any State shall assume or pay any debt or obligation incurred in aid of insurrection or rebellion against the United States, or any claim for the loss or emancipation of any slave; but all such debts, obligations and claims shall be held illegal and void.

The NY Times article is here.

See You In Court when we get back.



sitcom writer said...

hot new Sit Com optioned for NBC for fall 2012:

Plot: Aging trial lawyer in Miami gives up practice and buy cigar shop with college roommate buddy who is hipster dofus ner-do-well.

George Wendit as the retired lawyer and Michael Richards as the Hipster dofus.

Working Title: Miami Cigars

The two buddies buy a small shop on Calle Ocho and neither speaks spanish and they deal with the neighborhood and clientele and the attorney character is often dragged back into court as a good samaritan to help neighbors who otherwise cannot afford a lawyer.

The Michael Richards character dates an endless supply of aging Miami sobe models while the George Wendt character is a lonely widower who also has three college age kids who try and fix him up with their professors or single moms of their friends.

We're signed for 13 scripts and a pilot shoots in November 2011.

Anonymous said...

based on the former fictional lives of Kenny W. and Phil R. in the early 90's. Many scenes based at the Palm or at Joe's?

Anonymous said...

Just saw Phil court. And Rumpole is on vacation...if true kills lots of theories...just sayin....

TEXMEX said...

Anybody with a mac can get a writing deal. Get the piolt OK'd and put 100 episodes in the can for syndication so you can get Raymond/Seinfeld money. That's the big enchilada.

Anonymous said...

The sitcom should be called: "Miami Shumie Cigars".

Anonymous said...

Based on shumie and the real fake blecher?

Anonymous said...

I disagree, Rump. I think the Fins make a run at getting Carson Palmer out of Cincinati. (I think he will take less money to avoid retiring or sitting on the bench.)

Then they will take a shot on Burris and/or Reggie Bush. (Don't forget that Reggie has the ability to split out and stretch the field.)

They have money to spend.

Rumpole said...

This is not Rumpole but a lowly intern. I cannot publish the comment calling someone self loathing because it was very strong and an attack and under the guidelines left to me I have to run it by him whenever he checks in. Sorry. Just doing my job.

Anonymous said...

5:22 pm, are you a regular intern or a hot intern?

Anonymous said...

That sit com will never see 100 episodes.

Especially if the only boobs on it are old saggy ex models and the two shop owners.

How about a show with a judge trying to run a courthouse while never losing his tan?

Anonymous said...

The constant cigar comments are boring, tedious and juvenile.

Cigar smoking causes oral cavity cancers (cancers of the lip, tongue, mouth and throat) and cancers of the larynx, esophagus and lung.

Visit a National Cancer Institute Cancer Center like Sloan-Ketterling, or Johns Hopkins.

Maybe you'll think twice.

Anonymous said...

An intern? Does the school know that this is the type of experience you are getting this summer? Are you also picking up his dry cleaning, and cleaning the gutters? Don't get me wrong, if this gets you a job after graduation, you are in the right place.

But usually when I have interns, I submit reports to a faculty advisor, or sign off on assignments.

At any rate, you are doing a great job. Now you can really see what you have in store for you when you become an attorney. Nothing but unhappy people, bitching about lots of things that they can't control or don't really matter.

Good luck in your future. By the time you graduate there will be around 120,000 lawyers in Florida. Hopefully by then I'll be out of this rotten business, and you can take my place.

By the way, find any 10 lawyers and ask them where they want to be in 10 years. I'll bet 8 say they hope to be doing something else outside of the law. If they have been practicing 10 years already, at least half will say they want out in 5.

Neilson Co. said...

Sitcom writer-

Do NOT quit your day job.

sitcom writer said...

Ok here's a possible script. The George Wendt character who is the former lawyer is called, lets say, hmmm...Alvin Scrivner, but his friends call him Scrivie. The Michael Richards character is named Davey Laramie, but his friends call him Wavy Davy and he usually wears a tie dye shirt. The scene opens in the store it's around 11 am and Wavy Davy is behind the counter when Scrivie walks in.

WD: You're late again. (he looks at scrivy who seems tired) Don't tell me...

Scrivie: Yeah another date set up by my daughters. Aren't any of their friends parents not divorced(laughter).

WD You need to come out with me.

Scrivie: South Beach? Forget it. I have a rule against dating a woman taller than the starting five of the Miami Heat (laughter).

WD: Can't beat those models. And they love guys like you.

Scrivie: Love guys like me? Are you kidding? What model wants to date a guy who thinks brown belts go well with black shoes? (Laughter)

WD: No not that. They love guys with sad stories. And you are sooooo sad (laughter).

Scrivie: Thanks a lot. You know what bothers me? When I was single before I got married the question was your place or mine? Then in the 80's it was Cabernet or Merlot? Then in the 90's it was what internet stock do you own? Now it's "Viagara or Cialis"? (laughter) And I just figured out I like Merlot (more laughter)

WD: Listen, that crazy lady who owns the laundromat was back, Seems some customer is suing her because the customer poured bleach in the rinse cycle and ruined her husband's favorite shirt. Can't you help her?

Scrivey: No. I'm done with law. Look around you. see? Cigars here and here and here and even here (picks up cigar and lights it) No more stupid legal cases for me.

WD> Well..uhh that's too bad

Scrivey:What did you say to her?

WD: Nothing really...just that you'd go to court with her today at 1:30 (laughter and fade out...next scene WD and Scrivey are in court with a large hispanic woman who talks too loud and has a thick accent)

more later but what do you think? I think we've got a serious hit on our hands.

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's actually pretty funny.

Neilson Co. said...

Sitcom writer-

The numbers are in and it appears we were completely wrong in our projections. The pilot episode is off to a great start. As we all know, any hit show is about the characters, and getting the audience to care about them.

We at Neilson already feel like we know these guys, and we can't wait to see what happens next.

The 100 episode mark is still a maybe, but the first hurdle is getting picked up for season two.

Have you begun casting for the other regular cast? Who will play the regular customers? The UPS guy? The ex wives!?

Please update ASAP.

Anonymous said...

@8:02- although that maybe true according to Rumpy's post-- Diet Soda/Pop is worse than anything on the planet and nothing will kill you quicker and sooner than chugging back a bottle of Diet Coke.

Anonymous said...

Curb is funny. That is not

Anonymous said...

I have a feeling that Rump is still here. He is giving a false lead to throw off those who want to bust him.

Anonymous said...

To 8:02
The witless cigar comments are done by the same individual who does the witless Shumie comments. He tries to generate hits for his own sites.
If I ever hear anyone say "Shumie" I'll want to punch him in the nose.

Anonymous said...

The "comments are boring, tedious and juvenile."

Just like the people who write them.

Anonymous said...

Hey 11:13

That is the name of my law firm. Boring, Tedious, and Juvenile.

Anonymous said...

11:09:00, I agree. Diet soda/pop is bad, cigars are even worse. Mouth/throat cancers are very painful.

11:13:00, the shumie and cigar comments are worse than witless-- they are the product of a person with an inferior mind lacking talent. Rough combination.

Anonymous said...


Everything is bad- in excess. A cigar or diet coke every now and then is not going to kill anyone. I know this is obvious, but as far as the cigar is concerned, it appears to me the people who smoke good cigars really enjoy this vice. I'm not one of them.

But if I have to choose, please put me next to a cigar smoker, never a cigarette smoker. The smell that lingers around a cigarette smoker and their breath is honestly worse than bad BO. And in our business, we have all smelled some really ripe defendants.

Bacon kills too. But everyone knows the smell of bacon in the morning is a bigger turn on to a man than any stinky French perfume. A couple of slices on the weekend will not put you in an early grave. Having the Baconator Sundae at Denny's might.

Th truth of the matter is that the stress of out jobs is probably more detrimental to our collective health than anything else. If a diet coke, a bacon cheese burger and cigar on Saturday is a way for you to relax, I say go for it.