We received this anonymous email:
It's been a difficult week and I have not had the time to fully review my diary and create a post for your Sunday readers. Sorry. But I'm the Judge, so I don't have to give excuses, right?
However, I jotted down these brief notes to give your readers an idea where my thoughts were recently.
It's a quiet Tuesday morning. Thank goodness. What was that? Did that PD just flirt with me? I swear it's happened before. Lets see: 15,20,22, good lord, I'm more than 25 years older than that PD. Oh, that would be a good one. I can just see the headline in the Herald now. "Judge mauls PD in Chambers, sentences client to prison." Of course there might be Oprah, a confessional episode of sorts. The problem is, I don't have an alcohol or drug problem. Nothing to blame this on except...human nature. Ha! What kind of defense is that? I'd hang.
Lets see....10 minutes of pleasure (ok...maybe 5) versus ruining a career, losing my pension, shame; will have to hire an attorney for the bar complaint. Forget the JQC. I'd give that up. It's keeping my ticket that I'd fight for.
You see, if people could just go through that analysis before jumping into something they shouldn't, I'd have a lot less work here in criminal court.
Well, let them have their fun. Maybe they will stop filing these stupid motions. Here's a thought: "Judge, we have no valid motions. Let's just go to trial." I think I might topple off the bench if that happened. What is it about the training of lawyers that makes them think that they have to challenge every small detail? Granted, there are times for that. But some of the best lawyers I know are honest and forthright and don't stand in front of me, trying- not very successfully- to convince me that they honestly believe I should ignore a few decades of case law.
You know what really gets my goat? These Judges who offer to try my cases for me. "Hey. I can handle my calendar and case load. Stop sucking up. These guys were probably the milk monitors in grade school. They were probably the same ones that volunteered to run the AV equipment. They probably sat in the front row of law school and raised their damn hand every minute, when they were not busy volunteering to work on some pro bono case with a professor they were sucking up to.
Here's to the back row of life! Those of us who just did what we had to, tried our best, didn't suck up, and still managed to make something of ourselves.
Anyway, Rumpole, I enjoyed the response from last week, and I hope to have some more thoughtful comments in the future.