When you see something that is not right, not fair, find a way to get in the way and cause trouble. Congressman John Lewis
JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG
WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM. Winner of the prestigious Cushing Left Anterior Descending Artery Award.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
DIARY OF A MAD JURIST 1
Rumpole notes: The following was anonymously emailed to me with the request that I state that there is no representation that the events depicted happened recently, and that the author reserves the right to “merge events and individuals for the purposes of protecting identities and representing events as seen by the author.” The author further notes that they have gone out of their way to remove all references to gender, so that neither the gender of the author or the individual they are writing about is revealed.
THE JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG, SUNDAY EDITION, PRESENTS:
DIARY OF A MAD JURIST
Its another Monday. A “C” Calendar. It seems to bring out the worst in everyone. These prosecutors appear to be trained so poorly. The thought of doing the right thing, has in some, been drummed from their mind by the incessant need to speak with their supervisor for just about everything. Some of these Public Defenders can’t see the forest through the trees. They scoff at private defense attorneys who get their client treatment in the face of seemingly weak criminal charges.
And these private defense attorneys. What about a C calendar brings out the amateurs? This guy is a divorce lawyer. What makes him think he can handle this check fraud case?
My head is throbbing and if I drink any more coffee my heart rate will go through the roof. It’s only 10:15. I have 35 more pages of this nonsense. Sometimes I wonder how I get through the day.
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The Third reversed me again. Lets see one of them come down here and give this 22 year old kid 30 years for stealing a purse. Sure, he needs to be punished. But getting out of prison in 2033 or something like that seems a bit much.
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I just had lunch with someone who makes over 125 thousand a year. They drive a Mercedes, and left a 8 dollar tip on a 75 bill. Plus they sent their food back. And that was after getting a description of how the food was prepared that included getting the label on the oil used to sauté the chicken. About the only thing they didn’t ask about was whether bottled water was used to clean the lettuce. I just ordered a steak. Let them use whatever damn oil they please, as long as it tastes good. I do 30 minutes on the treadmill every day, that’s enough. What ever happened to enjoying life? I bet this idiot eats cake in the middle of the night when no one is looking.
Anyway, I snuck back and left another ten for the tip. Maybe being in calendar isn’t so bad after all.
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Here’s a good one: The prosecutor objected when the defense attorney moved to discharge the bondsman on a bond. The problem, I had just revoked the bond and taken the defendant into custody. The prosecutor didn’t know what they were doing. They just heard a defense attorney ask for something and objected. It’s the way they're trained. I know that. And yet I almost lost my temper. Sometimes this whole adversary business is just too much.
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Two lawyers just out of law school about to pick a jury. My head is starting to hurt. I wish I could just pick up my book and read on the bench. I have to look like I’m paying attention. Burglary of a car. This case should have been settled.
Anyway, here goes the prosecutor asking the jury if they would want fingerprints. Of course they would want fingerprints you numbskull. Now you’re going to tell them you don’t have fingerprints. Who trains you? Don’t they teach you how to deal with evidence before a jury? Don’t they teach you that voire dire is not about trying to influence the jury- it’s about finding out who these jurors are.
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Mistrial don’t you know. In opening statement no less: “And when the police arrested him, he never explained why he had a screw driver and a pair of pliers.”
Now I can get involved. How much of this was a mistake, and how much of this was planned because they didn’t like the jury? Maybe jeopardy has attached. hmmm...lets see. Uhho! Here comes the DC. Some boring chat, some posturing on both side….a little Cuban coffee…voila! Misdemeanor and CTS. Justice done again. Now, everybody out of my chambers.
Hold my calls. Get me some Advil and my book.
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61 comments:
Batman says:
I wish to report that Judge Mary Barzee is no longer Judge Mary Barzee.
She has transformed herself into JUDGE MARY BARZEE FLORES.
Amazing how the hispanic names that were not part of someone's identity has now become (shall we say) CONVENIENT.
Judge Will Thomas can now be Judge Guillermo Tomas
New hope springs eternal for Judge Peter (I really am a Camacho) Adrian
Judge Barzee, the blatant pandering by the changing of your name is very tranparent. We await your next election filing.
Wait'll Country Joe Farina gets a load of that.
Country Joe Farina???
I love it!!!!
i love this judge!!
Dear Judge and Rumpole one of the best post I have ever read!
Keep em coming. I enjoyed the piece.
Jurist, ther is an easy solution to your woes.
RETIRE!
Let someone who cares to do justice onto the bench. Maybe you can help Postman and Mastos chase clients to make a living + stop sucking off the public teat. Or would it be too soon to get your pension, BOZO.
We who actually practice trial law just love those on the bench whose shitty attitude comes through -- until they can take a three hour lunch.
RETIRE NOW!!
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Reading through this old Miami New Times article from 1994, I found this clip a bit comical:
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What do they talk about? Not much. Rules governing judicial races forbid candidates from discussing anything remotely political (gun control, say, or the death penalty) for fear these opinions might lead to bias on the bench. This leaves candidates with a rather narrow platform. Most wind up groping for a gimmick that will help them be remembered.
County court hopeful Ed Newman discusses his thirteen years as a Miami Dolphin lineman.
His opponent Phillip Brutus -- who Newman's wife politely refers to as "that Haitian monster from Hell" -- opens with a dorky joke. "If you want to remember my name, just think of Julius Caesar. The only thing is, I wasn't there and I didn't kill the guy."
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http://miaminewtimes.com/1994-08-31/news/odor-in-the-court/2
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Then came this clip:
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Indeed. Platzer did not apply for a seat, figuring the appointment system was "a good-old-boys network," and this campaign has been an assault on her naivete. She says she decided to run simply because she felt she would be a better circuit judge than her opponent, Loree Schwartz Feiler, an incumbent in county court who is giving up her seat to run for circuit judge. Platzer based this on her foe's poor bar-poll ratings, her dismal record on appeals, and her judicial demeanor -- Schwartz Feiler is a reputed hothead.
A hothead with friends. "I had lawyers calling me up before I'd even filed," Platzer recalls. "Mostly they told me Loree had too much money to take on, which I found offensive. I mean, what's that got to do with being a good judge? One said he was going to send a letter to every member of his temple to make sure I didn't get elected. And this was a guy whose kids used to play with my kids!"
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http://miaminewtimes.com/1994-08-31/news/odor-in-the-court/5
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And then:
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"Do you know anything about this guy Colby's history? Here's a judge who was reprimanded by the Judicial Qualifications Commission for finding hundreds of DUI defendants who failed to appear in court guilty, without a trial. Now you might say, 'Big fucking deal,' but here's the hook. The State Attorney's Office opened an investigation on him. And why would they be interested? I presume because he was falsifying records. Then he told the Herald he expected to be cleared by the JQC. Then he copped a plea with them. Now, it's not like I want the guy's head chopped off, or his law license revoked, but I think a changing of the guard is in order."
Meet Leonard J. Cooperman, candidate for the county court, would-be changer of the guard.
What is impressive about Cooperman is not just that he can speak approximately 4000 words a minute, but that he can do so while navigating through a downpour in his Mazda en route to a luncheon in North Miami Beach. Not that he plans to actually attend the luncheon. ("I ain't gonna pay twelve bucks just to get in. I'll sit outside and hand out literature, then go somewhere reasonable for lunch.") He just wants to make sure the message gets out about Colby. ("It's amazing to me that nobody [else] challenged this guy.")
Equally amazing to Cooperman is that despite his transgression ("It's a stain on the entire bench what he did!"), Colby has managed a clean sweep of endorsements.
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http://miaminewtimes.com/1994-08-31/news/odor-in-the-court/6
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Is this stuff for real?
classic
THE CAPTAIN:
Rump - sounds like something that Judge Barzee would submit. And all of it is so accurate - from the best of my recollection.
CAPTAIN OUT ............
As if every defense lawyer doesn't do the exact same thing in voir dire....
Sounds very real to me.
I do not think it behooves anyone to start trying to figure out who wrote that. I do not know. It was sent anonymously. So I cannot confirm or deny anything. Having seen my identity falsely attributed to others, and having seen that hurt others and cause them pain, I would not want to see the same thing happen to any Judge.
Batman wishes to report that Judge Mary Barzee is no longer Judge Mary Barzee.
She has transformed herself into JUDGE MARY BARZEE FLORES.
Amazing how the hispanic names that were not part of someone's identity has now become (shall we say) CONVENIENT.
Judge Will Thomas can now be Judge Guillermo Tomas
New hope springs eternal for Judge Peter (I really am a Camacho) Adrian
Judge Barzee, the blatant pandering by the changing of your name is very tranparent. We await your next election filing.
WHAT'S THE ALTERNATIVE? LOOSE JUDGE BARZEE TO PACO MENDEZ WHOS ONLY EXPIERENCE IS PLACING 6TH IN HIS LAW SCHOOL MOOT COURT COMPETITION.
Judge Harvey Baxter died.
A real "piece of work", but a judge who didnt take any crap and could see through bullshit in a second.
A judge at a time when judges didnt need to fear targeted because their ethnicity. A time when judges got to be judges instead of hyphenating their names for political expediency or advantage.
Stan Goldstein, Arthur Snyder, Harvey Baxter, Gerald Klein, Calvin Mapp, Morton Perry, Bob Deehl....these were guys who did their jobs...and got in a 2:00 tee time as well.
I have many a great Harvey Baxter stories. Anyone care to share.
What is Rumpole doing on his day off?
Again with this incompetent 3 time loser "putz" Lenny Cooperman!
He could not even try a DUI trial successfully. Colby was a great Judge and we could use more like him - polite to lawyers, intelligent as to the law and a real trial lawyer. Like I said earlier, Cooperman is still a putz (even if he is a Judge in Maine) and Colby has made millions and millions of dollars after leaving the bench. Who would you rather be?
RUMOUR HAS IT THAT JON COLBY IS BEING ADDED TO THE PATERNITY SUIT FOR ANNA NICOLE SMITH'S DAUGHTER!!!
SCANDALOUS!!!!!!!!!!
I would rather be former Judge Colby!
Colby!!! Thats my boy!
Batman, you are an idiot.
Judge Barzee ran for election with only Barzee; so you can dump the pandering argument. The rest of her family go by Flores. Nothing wrong with adding to the name. Why don't you try making doctor appointments or picking up children from school/etc., with a different last name sometime and see if it is worth the hassle? For those of us with children, I can assure you that the hassle is not worth it - even if it means being criticized by jerks like you.
Hey Lenny - You should have run for Judge as:
"Lenny Cooperman Rodriguez"!
1. i love judge barzee. she is cool honest and fair. it's about time she took her husbands name.
2. batman- you are a turd merchant. i have a good mind to sick bill barzee on you.
Harvey Baxter did he not insult hispanics leading to a demonstration at the RGJB in his courtroom?Can anyone elucidate?
Mary Barzee a great no nonsense Judge we need more like her!
signed: A CUBAN
I absolutely LOVE this blog.
Mention any person's name, and someone named Anonymous has something nasty and untrue to say about them.
What a profession.
Well if that's the case, then:
George Bush
Donald Rumsfeld
Douglas Feith
Dick Cheeney
Condoleeza Rice
John Ashcroft
Or today's batch: Barzee, Baxter, Colby, Cooperman, Adrien, Thomas, Newman, Brutus, Platzer, Goldstein, Snyder, Mapp, Klein, Perry, Deehl...
We really can become very petty when we are anonymous.
P.S. Yeah, I agree. Let us add Nixon, Mitchell, Halderman, Erlichman... There are always plenty of really bad people around, why would we snipe at the rest?
Can anyone clear the latest REGJB rumor up for me?
The One that Judge Firtel has requested and received a leave of absence for 6 months because he has been choosen to perfom on the next edition of Dancing with the Stars?
I heard- 1) he will be performing with a dance partner;
2) he has been hired to be a "roving reporter"
3) he has been hired as a "Judge".
Can anyone settle this? I was at two clubs in South Beach over the weekend and three different lawyers told me three different stories. (and two of them hit on me- I'm a young PD and they were clearly married, but thats another story. What are these old married guys doing out at 2am anyway? don't their wives care where they are??? Just because I have a great body and am blonde, doesn't mean I will sleep with any lawyer who drives a Porche. Jeeze..get another pick up line besides "I just bought a new Porsche, want to see it?" What a bunch of creeps.)
Anyway, thanks for your help. I'm confused.
Nixon, Halderman, Erlichman??? Mr. Laeser, now you're showing your age. Does it bother you (as it does me) when you litigate against someone who was not born during Watergate?
Moe, Larry, Curly, Sheemp, Shuminer. (Alan that is).
Judge Firtel tried to get on American Idol with his rendition of Billy Joel's "I am an innocent man" but he did not make the TV show.
Firtel can be seen around town singing in late night clubs, doing saloon standards like "Quarter to 3" ; "Piano man" and NWA's "Rappin Judge". Really.
And Country Joe Farina sang the National Anthem at the Daytona 500.
Really. He's a budding Country and Western Star.
No fooling.
Country Joe Farina and the Fish is a hot new CW band starring Country Joe Farina, Retired Judge Salmon, and Attorney Jose "Johnny" Pescos.
[The following occurred at 7:12 AM this weekend on Miami Beach at Club Deuce]
Spike Lee: Action!
SB: This is Sleepy Bennett for Nivia Skin Care Products. Yo my brothers, when you shave...
Lee: Cut!. Where does it say "Yo my brothers" in the script?
SB> Well, it doesn't but the people in my social welfare section tell me thats how the young black men today speak, my brother.
Lee. Mr. Brummer, I am not your brother. I am the director of this commercial for Nivia Skin Care Products.
SB. You could be my brother from another mother, couldn't you?
Lee. Mr. Brummer, can I just suggest that you sitck to the script as we have written it for you and forget trying to sound hip for the moment?
SB. No doubt my dog, I'm feelin you.
Lee: Listen... can we
SB. Wait. Wait. I didn't mean to insult you. Is it "my dog" or just "dog"? I don't want to infer, me being white and you being african american that you belong to me or anything. Obviously you are a successful director and all, and I was just trying to communicate with you in a manner that my attorneys who speak with young black men all day long do. They tell me to say "dog" (to himself -or is it "my dog"? I always forget) and stuff like that. Anyway, I'm ready.
Lee: Nivia Skin Care, take two. Action!
SB. YO YO YO Sleepy Bennett in the house here to holla at ya about some new skin care products...
Lee. Cut. You're fired. Get me the producer on the phone someone. Now!
I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying. Rumpy you need to sign that dog up to a contract!
Judge Harvey Baxter was a great man and jurist. I don't know of the particular incident anon. referred to but I don't think he insulted Hispanics. He did however, push them into learning English. He took the time and energy to learn the Spanish language. When he had defendants who appeared before him who spke no English he would have the interpreter ask them how many years they had been living in Miami. Whenever he got an answer of something like 5 years, he would then break into his well spoken Spanish and question and push the defendant into explaining why they couldn't make the effort to learn the English language as he had done to learn theirs.
Harvey Baxter or Marshall Ader I am not sure one of them or some other pompous county court judge insulted Hispanics and there was a demonstration in their courtroom
By the way was Baxter supposed to be a judge or a teacher of ESOL ?
Please don't even mention Judge Barzee in the same sentence as Camacho Adrien. Camacho only adopted his mother's maiden name after a previously failed campaign as Adrien. Judge Barzee ran as Barzee and won. Judge Barzee is a fair jurist. Camacho is an embarrassment to the bench most of the time with his non-stop tirades.
Abe Laeser, worried about the quality of the contributors to this blog ? They are the same dimwit defense lawyers that you beat so soundly on a regular basis!Just think of them like the snitches and CI's you use on a regular basis ,same desire to remain undercover except with Bar Cards (some of then)
Rump
The Mad Jurist is a classic, The Jurist needs a blog of their own ( plurial 3rd person instead of he/she OR IT?)
As to Judge Baxter, one should not speak ill of otheres, but honestyly he treated everyone like shit. He first ran for County Court against newly appointed Judge Ted Mastos , on the" Put a MENSCH on the Bench" ticket. Ted lost but came back years latter. Harvey died a long and terrible death. Kismit, Karma or Bershirt? All Jugdes should be fair and treat those in front of them by the Golden Rule.
D Sisselman
FYI: When Barzee first "ran" for office, she had no opposition. Does that really count?
Batman says:
To those who defend Judge Barzee on her record as a jurist, you miss the point. She has been married to Mr. Flores for more than 10 years, has had children with him and ran the first time as Barzee. Somehow the redirected winds of ethnic politics has, after all these years, resulted in her change of name. It has nothing to do with picking up children or anything of the sort or she would have done it years ago. Pandering to the Hispanic masses. Nothing more, nothing less. Good politics. Of course that is what we all want in our judges. Right?
Agreed...does anyone really think that Judge Barzee gets the third degree when she goes to pick up her kids? "Hey! Your ID says Barzee...these kids are named Flores! We're gonna call DCF pronto unless you do some 'splainin, blondie."
Happens every day I'm sure. Like Batman says, politics as usual.
You'd think someone as bright as Barzee would realize she just might be able to get re-elected on "the merits."
Dear Batdick
If you agree that Barzee is a good judge then you should be thrilled that she finally took the name Flores. Now she will not get opposition.
But you are just frustrated because you are a career ASA and Barzee pro defense.HA HA HA
Hey Batshit
Lay off my girl.
Baxter was a terrible judge. Every ASA who appeared in front of him in the early 90's can confirm that he kept a videotape of the news release detailing how he shot a guy who broke into his house. It's one thing to defend your home; another to relish shooting another human being.
He also ROUTINELY abused Hispanics and Haitians (threatening to send them home in inner tubes, etc.). I and many others complained about him. Unfortunately, the court reporters (who at the time were hired by the judge) were afraid to take anything down. So, nothing happened (because we had no proof).
Baxter was a vicious, nasty guy who abused people in court. I can't imagine anyone not related to him saying otherwise. I'll never forget him.
Batman says:
In a final response to those who did not like that Judge Barzee's blatant political move was exposed and called for what it was:
The erudite and articlulate way you address the issue speaks volumes of those who support such moves. See if you can debate an issue without reverting to your basic instincts of vulgarity and non-sensical jibberish.
I suspect that if questioned about this matter Judge Barzee-Flores would admit to the reasons for this move. I only criticize 1) the need for such action, and 2) the lack of faith she has in the system that she would revert to such tactics.
Have a wonderful day 10:07 and 10:28. Keep smiling.
We all know this is John Schlesginer, right?
Batbird
Fly away.
Are you kidding me??? Barzee a great jurist? God your standards are below low! She is a snotty arrogant woman who thinks she's better than everyone else and I for one have never seen her do anything impressive on the legal end.
Speaking from the civil side (I do no criminal work, but I like to read this s--t), we agree that Judge Barzee is arrogant. She is nasty, confrontational and lacking in the basic skills of civil law. This is what happens when Federal Public Defenders and Prosecutors take the State Court bench. (Trial or Appellate) We were all initially glad she came over because of the idea of a new face, but she has been an incredible disappointment. Her scheduling is horrible (it is almost impossible to get a special set hearing) and she is lazy to boot. Will you guys take her back.
Baxter spoke English, Spanish, French, Creole, Yiddish, Hebrew, and some Russian I think. He had a bark that always worse than his bite. He did a lot of good things - honor machines in ct house, dmv in N. dade ct ect.. He had an ego true, but he also took time to help people. I saw him take the bench when no cal was set to help people with their licenses. He also knew better than to give points to people on nonsense tickets because he knew the only benefit was insurance companies who he hated. His motto was if they raise the rates then people can't afford the ins. Old scholl and I liked it. Shame as to what he went through.
IS THE BLOGGER AT 2:23 ANGLO OR HISPANIC?TO WHAT OR TO WHOM IS JUDGE BARZEE PANDERING ? WE DO LIVE IN A COMMUNITY THAT IS 60 OR SO PERCENT HISPANIC AND IF JUDGE BARZEE MARRIED A HISPANIC AND DECIDED TO HONOR HIS NAME YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT? YOU SOUND AS IF YOU ARE PREPARED TO SAVE THE AMERICAN FLAG.BUT THE QUESTION REMAINS FROM WHAT ? YOUR OWN DEMONS.JUDGE BARZEE DOES NOT NEED YOUR VOTE.
Batman is a misinformed fool who is just as deluded as 5:51. A snotty and arrogant woman? You clearly lost a battle before Judge Barzee (maybe she denied your legally insufficient motion to supress) and this is simply an expression of your resentment toward her. Anyone that knows the judge or has practiced before her with any frequency (and exerted at least SOME effort in their jobs as ASA or PD)knows that not only is she brilliant, patient and compassionate, but also a firm jurist with impeccable judgment. Ask around...experienced ASAs and PDs as well as the Civil Trial Bar and anyone else that has a clue in our legal community respect the Judge. No matter what name she goes by, we are hard pressed to find any other judge with her ability. There is no shortage of judges who should (and hopefully will) receive opposition in the next election, but Barzee is not one of them. No matter what reason she modified her name, it has no bearing on her ability as a jurist. Let's leave one of the good judges alone and focus our attention where it should be...
Batman says:
To 2:17 - I never commented on Judge Barzee-Flores' demeanor or abilities. (Please note that you continue to refer to her as "Barzee" - that is not her name now.) Those comments were made by others. My only comments were about her change of name.
However there seems to be a legitimate difference of opinion on Judge Barzee-Flores on this Blog. I will not weigh in on this one.
Judge Barzee may know a lot about criminal law (I wouldn't know, as I practice in civil court,) but she is unbelievably terrible on the civil bench. She's the poster child for those claiming former criminal law practitioners should never EVER be allowed to judge civil suits. It's only too bad that Miami-Dade jurists are, in the main, those too stupid or ill-qualified to earn a real living in private practice.
This response is to those who held Judge Baxter in such low regard:
For the leftist commie who suggested that he enjoyed shooting someone who broke into his house and also held his wife at gunpoint for the pure pleasure of it probably has never found him or herself in a life and death situation. Would you be so forgiving if someone held a gun at your head? Probably. Because just from reading your blog I can tell you
are a pussy left wing Democrat! I can assure you that he would not take anyone's life in vain.
You obviously did not know him as well as I do.
I am his daughter in law.
Opinions are like assholes
and everybody has one, but
don't make unsavory comments about things you know nothing about.
Nostalgic for the good old days of practicing criminal law in Miami, while reading the blog I came across my name (almost used in vain!!) by an anonymous poster who referred to me as a "putz."
A couple of points:
First, for my detractor, I am a Judge in Massachusetts, not Maine as you wrote. A prerequisite to effective criticism is having more than a casual relationship with the facts.
Second, Jon won the 1994 election, I lost, and that was that. Things seem to have worked out for both of us. He seems to be doing what he likes, I wound up doing what I like, albeit in a different venue. Most of life's ironies are eventually revealed and understood, if you simply wait long enough.
Third, as to whether you'd rather be Jon Colby or me, I suggest that making that decision is quite complex, and making it requires a knowledge of both Jon and I that I suspect my anonymous detractor does not possess.
Fourth, my detractor takes me to task "for not even being able to try a DUI trial successfully". That hurt. But I confess to having no knowledge of what he (or she) is referring to. I don't recall ever having lost any DUI case I tried.
Fifth, I would tell my detractor not to take things so PERSONALLY!! After an election is over, it's over. I have always wished Jon well (and judging by the monetary amounts my detractor seems to have calculated that he's earned, my wish seems to have come true!!) and I wish my detractor well as well.
Hello to everyone down in FL. And it definitely is cold up here (good skiing, though).
Lenny Cooperman
Lenny -- "Putz," who knows. "Asswipe," for sure. A pretend judge who enjoys picking the wings off the flies.
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