"THE STATE OF FLORIDA IS NOT MADE OUT OF MONEY"

The following is courtesy of the JAA Broward Blog. We do not know any of the individuals involved in this matter. Warning: for practitioners of criminal law, the following may be disturbing. Reader discretion is advised. 


Dramatis Personae: Judge Matthew Destry, Broward County; Ira Still, Esq, defense attorney; Rossaine Baker, client; JAC and the Broward State Attorneys Office-bureaucracies extraordinaire. 


Background: Rossaine Baker was by all appearances a client in need. Sitting in jail for five months, charged with interrelated life felonies in two separate cases, her case was going no where fast and her future was bleak. Enter attorney Ira Still who was appointed to represent Ms. Baker. The title of the post links to the JAA blog's transcript of the fee hearing in which Mr. Still lays out the remarkable job he did. Some highlights: he took over the case and prepared for trial in less than a year which included depositions of over 80 witnesses. To do this he basically shut his office down regarding working on other cases.  In the first case,  Rossaine Baker was acquitted of armed burglary and aggravated battery after a four day trial. 


In the second case the prosecution charged Rossaine Baker with attempted murder and armed kidnapping, the theory of the case being that Rossaine Baker tried to have the victim in the first case killed so as to avoid prosecution. Central to the theory of the first case was the prosecution's William's rule motion to introduce the facts of the second case. Motion denied after the defense filed a 20 page memorandum. 


After the acquittal in the first case. Mr. Still obtained bond for his client in the second case. Then, based on how apparently flimsily the evidence was in the first case, Mr. Still attempted to save the State of Florida money by trying over and over to convince a series of prosecutors to not try the second case which was a sure acquittal. But lets remember this is Broward where Mr. Satz lives by the credo "try em all, let the jury sort it out." 


The second case proceeded to trial but not before the witness tampering charge was dismissed by defense motion based on double jeopardy because of the acquittal in the first case.  The second case also apparently involved the use of cell phone experts to show that the prosecution's allegations about the defendant making phone calls which would show her guilt were completely false. To make a long story short, the Defendant was acquitted in the second case. 


After a spectacular job, Mr. Still submitted a bill for $95,872.50 based on billing at $75.00. That's 1,278.3 hours for those of you scoring at home.  After auditing his bill, JAC did not find anything objectionable as to the hours billed or the form of the bill. But they did not want to pay. 


Judge Destry remarked that "the State of Florida is not made of money" and then issued the following ruling:


A) Granted the attorneys fees request in full. 
B) Cut the bill in half. 
C) Cut the bill to the statutory cap of $2,500 per case.
D) Cut the bill to $20,000.00 for both cases. 
Go to the comments section for the answer. 
Click on the title of the post and read the transcript of the hearing. It's well worth a read. 
See You In Court. 

BEWARE

Caesar:
Who is it in the press that calls on me?
I hear a tongue shriller than all the music
Cry "Caesar!" Speak, Caesar is turn'd to hear.

Soothsayer:
Beware the ides of March.

Caesar:
What man is that?

Brutus:
A soothsayer bids you beware the ides of March.

Julius Caesar, Act 1, scene 2. 


DOM posted the link to watch HRH Roy Black in trial live in West Palm. The link is here. 
Fed prosecutors tuning in have been confused: they can't understand why a case agent is not sitting at the prosecutor's table.  "Prosecutors try cases by themselves in State Court? The next thing you know State courts won't punish defendants for testifying and losing." 


When we last left Attorney Ira Still III shortly after his motion for attorneys fees was argued in Broweird,  Judge Matthew "Money Ball" Destry  had awarded Mr. Still a total of $20,000.00 for two cases that he tried and won. Mr. Still was seeking about $110,000.00.
Still filed a petition for writ of certiorari and the 4th DCA granted it here; vacated the trial court's order, and remanded the case for proceedings consistent with paying Mr. Still more than $13.00 per hour. 


A Rumpolian "Well Done" Mr. Still. Well done indeed. 


We're back!

MLK 2020

We celebrate the birthday of Dr. King in the fine American tradition of honoring him on a day other than his birthday. If it's good enough for Lincoln and Washington, then it's good enough for Dr. King. 
People will sidle up to the memory of the civil rights leader by endlessly requoting his famous speeches and quotes. Blah blah blah blah "Injustice anywhere is...." . Been there and done that. 
Let's try something new. 

What if we could talk to Dr. King today? If he was somehow able to travel in time before his murder, what would he see and what would we tell him?

Here's the good news Dr. King. You will be gratified to know an African-American man was elected president twice. You need to know Dr. King that we no longer use the term "negro". We now use African-American or Black.  Women routinely run for president and sometimes they get the most votes but don't win (it's a long story). For the most part (we aren't there yet, but it's better) people hire doctors, lawyers, accountants, dentists, chefs, engineers, and mostly people in any profession without regard to race. But there are still only three black head coaches in the NFL. 

We lost the Vietnam war but somehow managed to get stronger, learning the lessons from a bitter defeat. There are more nuclear weapons, but thankfully we haven't used them since WWII. We routinely live in space and launches and splashdowns don't even make the news. Videos of kittens jumping on balls of wool get more attention than a space launch. 

Queen Elizabeth is still on the throne, but her youngest grandson just resigned from The Firm. By the way Harry (as he is called), married a divorced woman of mixed race and that is the least interesting part of the story. 

We make meat from vegetables. Fat is healthy (not being fat, that's still bad. But unbelievably, we learned that eating fat makes you thin. It's harder than it sounds.)  We eat a lot of sushi. The ramen noodles that generations of college students lived on for 69 cents a package now costs twenty bucks a bowl served in fancy restaurants. McDonalds still sells hamburgers for less than a buck. No one smokes cigarettes anymore, but young people do something called vaping. 

Here's the bad news. Your intention in going to Memphis in April of 1968 was to begin the struggle against economic inequality by supporting striking sanitation workers. You were planning a second march on Washington, this time for economic justice. You saw that the real battle for the soul of America was not racial equality, but economic equality. 

We are far away from achieving your goal.

A large percentage of Americans, White, Black, Hispanic and Asian work multiple jobs to support their families. For example, teachers routinely work a second job in a place called Starbucks selling seven dollar cups of coffee or drive what used to be called taxis for something called Uber. The thought of a one or two income household providing a home, food, healthcare, transportation and even the ability to take a vacation now and then never seemed farther away. 

Our upcoming election promises to fracture the country even more. On the right we have Republicans that have little concern for hard working Americans that just cannot make it. Super-corporations skirt the laws of tax and health care by providing jobs just a few hours under what is required for full time benefits.

 On the left we have socialist candidates that want to break up companies that have provided our country with the technological advantages that have allowed us to compete in a global economy. We don't seem to have anyone who can unite us and find common ground. And there is this weird person who runs the Seanate called Mitch McConnell. And there is an even weirder senator named Bernie Sanders who is running for president even though he just had a heart attack. 

The world is over-heating; the oceans are polluted and acidic almost beyond repair and the polar regions are melting which means coastal cities around the world will be flooded. 100 year droughts are routinely followed by 100 year floods and world leaders don't  seem to be able to agree on how to heal our planet. Some politicans flout science and evdience to wild cheers from their constituents. Xenophobia is at a peak. Things look grim. 

Video phones are real, but we don't use them a whole lot. Actually we don't talk to each other very much. We send these electronic messages called texts from phones that we carry around. Walk down the street of any city and 80% of the people are hunched over staring at their electronic devices. It's fun but it's not good. 

The news is on 24 hours a day. You can shop without ever leaving your home. There are thousands of TV channels available. The Rolling Stones are still giving concerts. Really. Yes we have done the math. They are older than Moses but rock and roll hasn't died out yet. We also have something called Rap. Remember that commercial of the Native American with a tear rolling down his eye because someone threw some garbage out of a car? Rap would make him weep uncontrollably.  

We have these really neat things called Uber- Eats, Netflix, Tinder, WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and someone called Kim Khardashian.

Every city in the US has a Martin Luther King Street, Avenue, school, or other public property honoring your life and work. And of course we take a day off to celebrate your birthday. But you gave us more than you took and we still owe you more than we recognize. 

You really wouldn't recognize the place. 

THE CIVIL WAR ISN'T OVER .....

THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:

APPOMATTOX .......................

When you wake up this morning, look at your watch, and when you eventually see the hands of the clock strike one pm, think back 150 years and ask yourself this question:  Which side would you have been on?  At One PM, on April 9, 1865, Confederate General Robert E. Lee, walked into the home of Wilmer McLean, in Appomattox, Virginia, and surrendered to Union General Ulysses S. Grant, effectively ending the Civil War.

To think that our grand experiment of a democracy might have failed, well, those are some heavy thoughts.  We talk about American Exceptionalism today, but 150 years ago, our country was coming apart at the seams, and but for the strength and vision and leadership of a great President, Abraham Lincoln, that experiment may have failed.

The "Civil War" ended, the experiment didn't fail - but are we still fighting that war?

President Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation on January 1, 1863 and by its words, it proclaimed the freedom of slaves in the ten states that were still in rebellion.  The Union won the war, the slaves were freed, but would it be fair to say that, 150 years later, some people still haven't gotten the news?

There is a connection between yesterday's post and today's - and it has to do with how some in our society view the black man in the year 2015.  Yesterday it was the video of Walter Scott being shot in the back by Officer Michael Slager.  Today we were introduced to the video of a mentally ill Lavall Hall, walking aimlessly down the street in his underwear, with a broomstick in his hand, as he is shot multiple times by a Miami Gardens Police Officer.  Lavall's mother had called the police for help.  They knew the history of Lavall Hall.  On the video, the mother can be heard begging the officers, "please don't hurt my child".

Here is the video released by the Hall's family lawyer:

Over the span of the last few months we have read about, and sometimes seen, video of black men, unarmed black men, being shot and many times killed, by white police officers.
 
Back in 2007, ColorLines and the Chicago Reporter investigated fatal police shootings in 10 major cities, and found that there were a disproportionately high number of African Americans among police shooting victims in every city, particularly in New York, San Diego, and Las Vegas.
 
ProPublica reported that "Young black males in recent years were at a far greater risk of being shot dead by police than their white counterparts – 21 times greater ⁱ, according to an analysis of federally collected data on fatal police shootings.  The 1,217 deadly police shootings from 2010 to 2012 captured in the federal data show that blacks, age 15 to 19, were killed at a rate of 31.17 per million, while just 1.47 per million white males in that age range died at the hands of police."

The Atlantic's headline in today's lead story is telling: "The Civil War Isn't Over".  In the article, they recognize the end of the Civil War as happening 150 years ago today, but they go on to state that: "The questions at the heart of the war, though, still occupy the nation, which has never truly gotten over that conflict. The great issues of the war were not resolved on that April morning at Appomattox. In this sense, not only is the Civil War not over; it can still be lost."

Our Declaration of Independence may have been founded on the proposition that all men are created equal, but as Lincoln reminded us four score and seven years later, "the nation founded in a revolution against monarchy had to fight a second revolution against itself in order to determine whether the “proposition” of “equality” had a future in any republic."

The Atlantic piece closes on this note:  "Wars end loudly and in ruins, and sometimes on silent, beautiful spring landscapes such as the surrender field at Appomattox; but history keeps happening. Making “men equal on earth in the sight of other men,  ....., is a long-term proposition, and for that matter, a definition of the meaning of America."

On April 9, 1865, the Civil War ended.  Five days later, Lincoln was shot dead at Ford's Theatre.  Will Lincoln's dream of equality for all men ever come true?

Which side are you on ....................

CAPTAIN OUT .......
Captain4Justice@gmail.com

NFL WEEK 2 2010

UPDATE: We've guaranteed our second winning week in a row: the Fins won and the game was under (+200); the Pack rolled over the Bills (+300) and of course the Cowpokes lost (-110)- will we ever learn? So we are 5-2 on the season, and up 390 for the day and 735 for the season and all we have risked is 100 Rex Ryan's on the 4 pm game. We'll take it.

Suicide pool wise, we say goodbye to at least six players (we're still waiting for Rick Freedman's pick) : Michael Grieco (Ravens); Fake Alex Michaels and Kenneth Weisman et.al., (Cowpokes) and Mark Vargo for real this time (Titans), Stephen Immasche (Browns- although we salute him for living fast and loose) and Ifitkhar Memon (Cowpokes). See youse guys next year.

We start week two 3-1 and a healthy 345 Bradys in the blue.

Our first pick, is the Cheaters -3 on the road over the J..E..T..S...over over blown. We've seen better offenses run by Miami Highschools than the Jets have. The Pats have a dominant offense, and decent defense, and the Jets are deep in a whole, facing going 0-2 in their new house, and a blowhard coach that doesn't know when to shut up. 100 Pats -3.

Mr. Markus likes the Pats as well. He says he grabbed the early opening line of NE +1,- update-

the best we could find is the game even. But we take Mr. Markus at his word- which has always been his bond- and the fault is ours for not checking it out when he sent the email. These are the ways of the gambling world and what Mr. Markus did was grab the advantage when he saw it. He deserves this line. It makes our bet look sad, but we still like the Cheaters to romp in NYC. Uhhh... make that New Jersey, but you know what we meant.

The Fins travel to Minnesota, where the initial report is that Favre would be sitting because of his ankle. However we know have learned that Favre will be playing, however his ankle is giving him problems. Even without Channing Crowder, the Fins have a good defense and will look to run the ball. Meanwhile the Vikes have the best RB in Football, so they will also be a looking at the run first. With Favre playing this is a bit of a risky proposition, but both these teams were part of winning under bets for us in Week one, so we're riding the gravy train with an under 39 doncha know. 200 Henne's under 39.

The Packers play the Bills in GB and the line is Pack -13. The money line is Pack -700, which means you have the bet 700 Blakes to win 100. We're seriously considering laying the 1400 to win 200, but on further review the 13 doesn't seem like a whole lot against a Bills team that still hasn't found it's identity and just lost their best LB for a month or more. Pack -13 for 300.

This is also our bet in the weekly face off against everyone's faourite federal lawyer.

The Cowpokes. You would think we would have learned out lesson from our only loss so far this season and stay away from the team with the worst coach in the NFL. But the visiting Bears won on a bad call last week against the Lions, and the Cowpokes still have better talent and this is their home opener and their O-Line is healthier than it has been since the beginning of pre-season. So we look to get even (the worst thing a bettor can ever say) and put 100 Romo's on the home team.

Here's the suicide pool picks which are still incomplete. More Sunday before the games.

SUICIDE POOL:

First some house keeping: I got Mark Vargo's pick wrong last week. He picked the Packers over the Eagles, so the rumors of his demise are untrue. He lives to fight another week.

The Packers were THE hot pick this week, with Colby, Plea D, BTDT, David O Markus, Michael Feiler, Peter Sautter, Feet of Clay Kaiser, Fake Blecher, Miguel De La Over, 52nd Street Irwin; and Juan Gonzalez all jumping on the men in green.

Kenneth Weisman, et. al: Cowpokes; Mark Vargo: Titans; Cary Clennon: Falcons; Michael Grieco: Ravens; Fake Alex Michaels: Cowpokes. Rumpole: Packers.

Gutsiest pick of the week: second week in a row Stephen Immasche reaches deep into the bowels of the NFL and picks the BROWNS!!!?? who are starting a back-up QB

Schrodingers Cat

Sexy, sultry, seductive Portia has awoken from her long slumber to write in:

Dear Rumpole, continue upholding the golden thread that runs throughthe law and exposing what Rumpole (my hero) describes as "judgeitis",a mysterious virus causing a fatal degree of intolerance, pomposity,interruption of cross examination, and extreme verbal abuse towardscounsel



The one who poses questions, the one who knows the answers, the enemy of batman, and a poster on our blog, the one and only Riddler, asks these relevant questions:

Wow. Rumpole, you touched a nerve with this indictment. I have never seen the blog this active. It appears this forum is getting bigger and bigger. But there are still some questions that need to be addressed:

1. Is it true that Special Agent David Miller shot a rapper in the ass outside of a 7-11 with his ankle piece? [Rumpole responds: No that was a Sopranos plot line that you have stolen]

2. If so, is the case being heard in Judge Thomas's courtroom?
[We have been reading the comments on Judge T and believe there are two sides to the story. Many lawyers are writing in that he is doing a good job. So in reference to the indictment, he is presumed innocent until proven guilty. Much like the Muldowny hearings, all the county court judges will convene at the FACDL Dinner and hear the case next week.]

3. Is Warren Scwartz representing Miller?
If yes, than what will happen when Uncle Warren asks for a continuance at the first sounding in that bowtie and Steve McQueen sunglasses he wears?
[Warren has style…that’s Style with a capital S. Plus he can try a case.]

4. Will Thomas raise Miller's bond, put him in the box and require a bondsman to come in to say he/she will take him out on the original bond?
[ We think Judge Miller is not a risk of flight. Danger to the community? Probably. But not a risk of flight. The bond will not be raised.]

5. Will KFR select H. Walker to handle the case?
[No. ASA Grieco will make a star appearance as a Guest Prosecutor. The trial will be shown on MTV’s new show: Rockin the REGJB.]

6. Is H. Walker really "Cab" Calloway? Orange whip anyone?
[No and No]

7. Will Special Agent Prosecutor Captain Avenger Miller still be able to teach the weapons course at the advocate program?
[Yes. Guns don’t kill people. Judges who hand out the death penalty for any ol reason kill people.]

8. Is Greico really going to be Judge Miller's intern/law clerk/weapons consultant/SWAT guy this summer?
[No. See above.]

9. If the case goes to trial, will Thomas work to 1:00 a.m. even if Warren Schwartz leaves at 4:30? Will H. Walker's kerchief in his front jacket pocket wilt after 5:00 p.m.?

[Some questions cannot be answered without resort to theoretical physics. According to the superposition theory of quantum mechanics, as stated by the famous illustration of Schrodinger's cat, it is theoretically possible for Warren Schwartz to be in court and out of court at the exact same moment. For the same reason, if you take Mr. Walker’s kerchief and place it in a sealed vault, and place a very small amount of a radioactive substance, when that substance decays the kerchief will wilt. Because the vault is sealed, we cannot know if or when this has occurred, thus the kerchief under the theory of superposition is and is not wilted. ]

Please Rumpole. Please give me some guidance here. The public demands answers and you can deliver them. [Done. No Charge. Pro Bono Publico.].

AND HERE ARE TEN QUESTIONS FOR OUR FAVORITE ELECTED DADE OFFICIAL, SENT IN BY A CURIOUS READER:

I've been trying to interview your so-called "Public" Defender for quite some time with negative results. So I thought maybe the BLOG could help. Here are my top ten questions for Bennett Brummer -

1) Is Howard Lubel now the TerriChavez of the PD's Office? And ifso does he still make 120k to basically do social work or didyou finally cut his salary.

2) Is Pat Nally now in division?And if so does he still make 120k to handle the same "A" caseload that is normally handled for less then 50k.

3) When are you going to retire and let someone else be PD? Or areyou going to be PD for life?

4) What is your latest accomplishment with the Florida legislature? Since that was your main campaign theme in the last election, I was curious whether you have actually had any recent success.

5) Is it true that you do not want young PD's to stay for longer than3 to 5 years? And if so is that so you all at the top do not have to worry about anyone threatening your100k per year government job?

6) Are you grooming anyone in particular to be the next PD?(Carlos Martinez, Lourdes Simon, etc.)

7) Who do you see running the PD'soffice in ten years?

8) How many bagels does Rory eat a week? What about danishes?

9) Do you not understand how morale at the office is hurt by the non-working old timers (Kramer, Warren, Marie O, Rory, Williams, etc.) getting a free pass while still making over 100k?

10) Why are trials at the officedown the past three years in succession? Is it because you either fired or forced out most ofthe young gun trial dogs?

Please Mr. Brummer answer the questions. Even though the sign outside your office says "Law Offices of Bennett H. Brummer",remember it really is The "Law Offices of the Public Defender".

And this member of the public wants some answers.

Justice Reporter

Gotta love question 8. See You In Court. Going to get an appointment before Judge Thomas and see for ourselves what the fuss is about.

TWITTER HACK AND CONTINUATION OF NFL DRAFT

Much like the AP yesterday, our twitter @justicebuilding was also hacked yesterday. So we feel compelled to straighten the record and deny the following tweets you may have read yesterday:

1) Alex Michaels did not take a swing at a prosecutor in court this week. 

2) Joel Brown has not applied for a county court judge position. 

3) Will Thomas did NOT turn down an appointment to Federal District Court because "Congress took too damn long and I got tired of waiting."

4) The Marlins were NOT beaten by a little league team from Pinecrest. 

5) The 3rd DCA has NOT created a "best of Milt Hirsch orders we reversed" tab on their website. 

6) Milt Hirsch is NOT requiring all pleas to take place in Olde English.  "Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,  And the mome raths outgrabe..." (roughly translated: "did anyone make you any promises in exchange for this plea?")

And Now,  the Blog mock draft ( (c) Rumpole 2013) continues:

10.  Tennessee Titans Rumpole:
The pick here is Guard Chance Warmack from Alabama. 6' 2", 317   pounds. Former Hall Of Famer Guard and current Head Coach Mike Munchak  is a natural choice to select the first guard in the draft. Personally, we think the better pick is the best TE in the draft: Tyler Eifert from Notre Dame. But odds are Munchak sticks to his roots and takes a chance on Chance. 

11. San Diego Chargers  David Ovalle
Still laughing at the draft overreach by the arch-rival Raiders, the San Diego Chargers had tough questions to ponder. Can Matt Barkley replace bum quarterback Phillip Rivers and live up to the legacy of the great Stan Humphries? Can Robert Woods supplant mega-star wideout Eddie Royal? Can TJ McDonald live up to his pedigree and not miss tackles in a pro defense? But after scouring prospects of the mighty USC Trojans, new general manager Tom Telasco betrays the will and desire of Southern California football fans by not selecting from the ranks of the cardinal-and-gold. Instead, the San Diego Chargers, unhappy with the o-line picks left on the board, select Utah defensive tackle Star Lotulelei

12. Miami Dolphins - The Captain

Horace, I'll trade you two Michael Egnews and one Pat White for your first pick in the draft. (What's an Egnew you ask?). Oh, the Dolphins Draft. Woe is me who gets the honor of predicting what pile of -hit Jeff Ireland will step into this year. The Miami Dolphins finished off the 2012 campaign with a 7-9 season and did not even sniff the playoffs, yet again. From 1990-2001 they appeared in the playoffs in nine of those years; since then, they have been in the post-season only once.

This year the Fins needs are in four areas: OT, CB, DE, and TE. All Fins Fans are waiting to see if Ireland pulls off the trade with the Chiefs by Thursday and nabs left OT Branden Albert. If that doesn't happen, and the three best OT's in the draft, Fisher, Jockie, & Johnson are gone (as they are here), then the Fins will pray that current Fin Jonathan Martin can fill the large shoes of Jake Long at the blind side position. The only other OT high enough to consider is DJ Fluker. So, instead the Fins will look to replace Sean Smith, who left in free agency, and Vontae Davis, who left to visit his grandmother,  and the easy money is on a CB out of Alabama, Dee Milliner. Lots of Fins Faithful are pulling for the TE out of Notre Dame, Tyler Eifert or the big Guard out of North Carolina, Jonathan Cooper. As for the D-line, with Ansah long gone, the only other star is FSU's Bjoern Werner. With the 12th pick in the 2013 draft, the Miami Dolphins choose Dee Milliner, CB, Alabama. Captain Out ....

13. New York Jets (from Tampa Bay Buccaneers)  52nd Street Irwin: As the crowd at Radio City is chanting J..E..T..S  JETS JET JETS...the commissioner strolls to the podium and pauses a moment as the frenzy of the gang green fans reaches fever pitch.  Rex Ryan cannot get over his good luck as Jarvis Jones is still out there. Visions of Jones and Mingo running stunts are making him dizzy. But Rex isn't making the calls by himself anymore. And while Jones is the best pick at 13, the Jets do need to replace Revis at cornerback. Those are big shoes to fill and there are three very good CBs ready to be taken: Xavier Rhodes, Desmond Trufant and Jonathan Banks. Rex and the Jets are still chuckling over the Dolphins misguided decision to draft a corner back who won't even be healthy enough (by his own admission) to participate in any training camps until late August. Then as the Jets get ready to phone in their pick they remember that they also need a tight end and the number one rated TE is still on the board. The time is ticking down. Rex contemplates grabbing the phone and shouting "Jones!" into it before his GM could wrestle him to the ground.  The Panthers are getting ready to run to the podium to select Jarvis Jones when the call is made and the ticket is handed to the commissioner who over the din of screaming Jets fans calmly announces: " with the 13th pick in the 2013 NFL Draft (J..E...T...S.. JETS Jets jets) the NY Jets select .....Jonathan Banks, Cornerback, Mississippi State."  Of the three available (healthy..hahahha stupid doll-fins) CBs, the Jets love the fact that Banks is the tallest and has soft hands and can run with the rock when he grabs it. 

14.  Carolina Panthers  Carolina On My Mind
52nd Street is correct: The Panthers are thrilled Jarvis Jones is still on the board. But then there are those health risks with his back (spinal stenosis) and the Panthers are lucky that their need - A defensive tackle- has coincided with the fact that the best player is still on the board. Shledon Richardson, 6' 2" 294 is an athletically gifted Defensive Tackle from Missouri.  He is a little bit bigger than Floyd and a bit smaller than Lotulelei, but he has a big motor and is a playmaker. The Panthers fill a need and take the best player on their board and draft Sheldon Richardson, DT, from Missouri, 

15.  New Orleans Saints  Bourbon Street Bob
Under new defensive coordinator Rob Ryan, the Saints are transitioning to a press-heavy scheme in the secondary with an emphasis on big, long-armed DBs capable of matching up physically with Julio Jones and Vincent Jackson in the NFC South.  Dominic Rhodes was the fourth tallest corner at the Combine, second heaviest, and had the third longest arms. But the Saints  just signed Pittsburgh cornerback Keenan Lewis. While the Steelers were frantically calling the Panthers to jump ahead of the Saints and nab Jarvis  Jones, Rump doesn't allow trades and the best linebacker in the draft falls to Rob Ryan and the Saints. With the fifteenth pick in the 2013 draft the New Orleans Saints get the steal of the draft and select Jarvis Jones, OLB, Georgia. 

16.  St. Louis Rams  Fake Risivy

Not many blog readers realize that Fake Risivy is a St. Louis native who loves some good St. Louis Bar-be-que. The Rams need a wide receiver and I am going to go with the open secret in St. Louis. In my opinion the best WR left is Corrdarrelle Patterson, but everyone -even the people under the big arch- know that the Rams love DeAndre Hopkins. The Rams sent half their staff to Clemson this week to work him out privately. So that is who the Rams select with the 16th pick- DeAndre Hopkins.

17.  Pittsburgh Steelers Mean Joe
Mean Joe is in a bad mood. He is not going to be tossing his jersey to no kid with a coke. The Steelers wanted Jarvis Jones and he's gone. Now the team looks at the tight end from Notre Dame, along with a couple of the cornerbacks and wide receivers still left. The Steelers think about Eddie Lacy the Alabama running back,  but decide there are few good ones they can get in rounds two and three.  There is a split in the war room. Half the staff wants to grab Bjoern Werner the defensive end from Florida State while the other half wants the safety from Texas. Meanwhile Ben Roethlisberger is telling anyone who will listen that he would love a big, tall receiver. But Troy Palamalu is getting old and he rarely stays healthy for a season and the kid from Texas is just too good. With the 17th selection in the 2013 draft, for the second time in their history (Palamalu was the first) the Steelers select a safety in the first round- Kenny Vaccaro, University of Texas. 

18. Dallas Cowboys -Real Fake Former Judge. 
The Cowboys need some help on the defensive line. And those remaining cornerbacks sure look nice and some of the wide receivers look very tempting. But there is the top rated player left on their board who they just can't pass up. Fred Moreno is smiling as with the 18th pick in the 2013 draft the Cowboys select Tyler Eifert, tight end, Notre Dame.

19. New York Giants Eli- Eli- O.
The Giants need a guard pure and simple and there are two good ones available.  Menelik Watson, 6' 5" 310, Florida State and Jonathan Cooper, 6' 2", 311, North Carolina.  There's two good safeties and a bunch of good wide receivers left, but Giants left guard Kevin Boothe is a sub-average starter working on a one-year deal and Right guard Chris Snee is 31 and coming off hip surgery. I would not be surprised to see RB Eddie Lacy also be a surprise pick here, but in some draft boards Cooper is a top ten talent. I like a guard to be 6' 2" rather than 6' 5" because it is easier to get low and stay low and get leverage on the d-lineman. With the 19th pick in the 2013 draft, the New York Football Giants select Jonathan Cooper, Guard, North Carolina. 

20. Chicago Bears  Clay Kaeiser
   Conventional wisdom has the Bears trading down to load up with picks un the middle rounds, and I tend to agree with this, because new coach Marc Trestman wants to put his imprint on the team and needs a lot of young, fast, and talented football players who he can brainwash/"get to buy into his system."  This draft is said to be loaded with good picks in the second and third round.  If the Bears do have to make a first round pick from the players left in this draft,I think it would be CB Marcus  Desmond Trufant, from Washington, who seems destined for a great pro career and would fit right into a solid but aging Bears defensive backfield.

 21. Cincinnati Bengals  Fake Freddy Moldovan.

The Bengals have a need at right tackle, and lookee lookee here, there is a right guard just sitting and waiting to go to Cincinnati and practice against new free agent acquisition James Harrison: D.J. Fluker, 6’5” 339 pounds from Bama. And Menelik Watson,  6’ 5”, 310 Florida State, is also available. But the problem is that the Bengals just love Jonathan Cyprien, the hard hitting safety from Florida International who arrives at the ball in a hurry and in a bad mood. This is a close call, but Fluker is just too good a talent to over look. The Bengals choose the big boy from Bama.  Who dey? Who dey? Who dey say can beat dem Bengals? 

22. St. Louis Rams (From Redskins)  Fake Risivy

The Rams breathed a big sigh of relief when the Bengals passed on Cyprien. Even with the earlier pick, the  Rams still need help at wide receiver, but like running back, WR is a position that can be very well filled in rounds two through six. Mike Wallace was a third round pick a few years ago. So the Rams take Jonathan Cyprien as the wide receivers in this draft continue to fall (outside of the Raiders who always screw everything up.).

23. Minnesota Vikings-  Fake Alex Michaels

Vhy I have to wait so long to pick? It should be I see player, I like player, I draft player and nobody stop me. Vell, I guess I have to play by rules. Vikings need wide receiver. All idiots who pick before me let all deese wide receivers fall and I vill scoop them up. Cordarrelle Paterson is not best receiver at Tennessee. Justin Hunter, 6’ 4”, 196 is better. Vikings take him. So there

24. Indianapolis Colts  Caribbean Cigars

Colts love the fact that Fake Alex Michaels was picking for Vikings. His emotions always get the best of him. Cordarrelle Paterson is a top twenty pick. Keenan Allen, the WR from Cal is 6’ 2”, and is a very polished route runner. Either receiver will be valuable asset for second year QB Andrew Luck.  Allen is more NFL ready, but Paterson has the higher upside. The Colts have a year to bring him along. With the  24th pick in the NFL draft the Indianapolis Colts select Cordarrelle Paterson, WR, Tennessee. 

25. Minnesota Vikings (from Seattle Seahawks) Fake Alex Michaels. 

I’m back again, like bad penny, you cannot get rid of me. 

Vikings would shock world by taking Keenan Allen. Two wide receivers in two picks in first round is insane. Did someone just say my name? Nah, Vikings not stupid, and neither am I. It’s time for defense for Vikes. Damontre Moore from Texas AM was a defensive end in college. But at 6-4, 250 pounds he will make the transition to outside linebacker in the NFL.  The pick is either Moore or Alec Ogletree , the inside linebacker from Georgia who is a one man wrecking crew. More has about ten more pounds on Ogletree and the Vikings need an outside rusher. Dey pick Damontre Moore. 

26. Green Bay Packers  Mr. Cheesious. 
Is it possible Fake Alex Michaels just picked Damontre Moore as a convert to a linebacker when Bjoern Werner  a top twenty pick is still on the board? A 6-3 266 pound defensive end from Florida State, Werner has so much more athleticism and upside than either Moore or Olgletree, it isn't funny. Packers consider safety Matt Elam, the strong safety from Florida along with some of the wide receivers, but Werner is too good an athlete to pass up. With the 26th pick in the 2013 draft, the Pack grabs Bjoern Werner, DE, Florida State. 

27. Houston Texans  Tex An Twon
The Texans are looking for a WR to add to their potent offense. Keenan Allen, 6' 2, 206, from California has deceptive speed and is a very polished route runner. He might not have the potential of Cordarelle Paterson, but he is an NFL starter from day one. With the 27th pick in the 2013 draft the Texans select Keenan Allen, WR, Cal. 

28. Denver Broncos  Ski Bum

This could be the spot for embattled Linebacker Manti Te'o. But remember why the Broncos got knocked out of the playoffs? A cornerback who let a Raven WR get behind him? The Broncos will grab a corner here and Xavier Rhodes, the 6-2 corner from Florida State has fallen all the way into the 28th spot where the Broncos end his free fall so long as Rhodes promises them one thing: to never, ever , ever let a receiver get behind him in the playoffs in the 4th quarter with the game on the line. 

29. New England Patriots Cheater.  
The Pats become the second team to take a good hard look at Mati T'eo, and the more they look at how he was manhandled by Bama in the title game, the more they don't like him. They're looking at some wide receivers but the defensive talent on the board catches Belichick's eye. He can grab the Georgia Linebacker Alec Ogletree,  safeties Matt Elam or Eric Reid, defensive end Cornellius (Tank)  Carrradine or defensive tackle Sylvester Williams. It's an embarrassment of riches here at 29.....but with time running out Belichick remembers that Sylvester Williams is a virtual twin of 12 year Patriot veteran Gerard Warren. Warren's career is winding down and why not let him train his replacement? With the 29th pick of the 2013 NFL draft the NE Patriots select Sylvester Williams, defensive end, North Carolina. 

30. Atlanta Falcons   Rhett Butler, Esq. 
The Falcons need to beef up on defense and because of his ACL injury in November they were expecting Tank Carradine to fall to them, and he has. Carradine ran a 4.9 in the combine five months after surgery, so he appears fully recovered. But Alec Ogletree has also fallen to the bottom of the draft and Ogletree doesn't have injury issues. Ogletree started out as a safety but he finally filled out to about 245 pounds. Scouting reports compare him to Falcom OLB Sean Weatherspoon, and that is just fine for the Falcons. They'll take another Weatherspoon and they grab Alec Ogletree, linebacker, Georgia, with the 30th pick. 

31. San Francisco 49ers  Miner 49'er. 
The good news: made it to the Super Bowl. The bad news? Picking 31st in the draft. The 49ers fielded two different defenses in 2012 -- the one where tackle Justin Smith was healthy, and the one where he wasn't. The version where he wasn't provided very little pass pressure, which underlined Smith's importance to the team. Alabama nose tackle Jessie Williams reminds me of a rawer version of Smith in that he plays with ridiculous strength and leverage, and takes on double teams with authority. It's a no brainer for the 49'ers who select Alabama defensive tackle Jessie Williams with the 31st pick. 

32.  Baltimore Ravens Rick Freedman

Super Bowl Champions. Just saying it makes all Ravens fans teary eyed. In the words of Mufasa, "it's just great to be king". But even he gets killed half-way through the movie. As did the Ravens defense in the off-season losing six defensive starters including future HOFers Ray Lewis & Ed Reed. They also lost Elerbe, Kruger, Pollard & Williams. The Ravens needs are clear and they include Safety, ILB, and OT. At Safety, two gems are still on the board, both SEC players: Eric Reid of LSU and Matt Elam of Florida. Linebacker choices start with Manti Te'o out of Notre Damne, and two more SEC players, Kevin Minter (LSU) and Alec Ogletree (Ga) (just lost him to the Falcons). The Ravens will also have to take a hard look at Menelik Watson, the big (6'5", 310 pds) OT out of FSU by way of Manchester, England. Head Coach John Harbaugh played as a DB and coached DB's with the Eagles. He understands how to mold a DB into a HOF player. The Ravens need to replace their HOF DB named Reed and with the 32nd pick, the Baltimore Ravens select another Reid, Eric Reid, Safety, LSU.

 

Thanks Rumpole.  This was a lot of fun.  Now we can all sit back and see how little we really know about this process and watch the Real draft in action.