Friday, April 28, 2006

Schrodingers Cat

Sexy, sultry, seductive Portia has awoken from her long slumber to write in:

Dear Rumpole, continue upholding the golden thread that runs throughthe law and exposing what Rumpole (my hero) describes as "judgeitis",a mysterious virus causing a fatal degree of intolerance, pomposity,interruption of cross examination, and extreme verbal abuse towardscounsel



The one who poses questions, the one who knows the answers, the enemy of batman, and a poster on our blog, the one and only Riddler, asks these relevant questions:

Wow. Rumpole, you touched a nerve with this indictment. I have never seen the blog this active. It appears this forum is getting bigger and bigger. But there are still some questions that need to be addressed:


1. Is it true that Special Agent David Miller shot a rapper in the ass outside of a 7-11 with his ankle piece? [Rumpole responds: No that was a Sopranos plot line that you have stolen]

2. If so, is the case being heard in Judge Thomas's courtroom?
[We have been reading the comments on Judge T and believe there are two sides to the story. Many lawyers are writing in that he is doing a good job. So in reference to the indictment, he is presumed innocent until proven guilty. Much like the Muldowny hearings, all the county court judges will convene at the FACDL Dinner and hear the case next week.]


3. Is Warren Scwartz representing Miller?
If yes, than what will happen when Uncle Warren asks for a continuance at the first sounding in that bowtie and Steve McQueen sunglasses he wears?
[Warren has style…that’s Style with a capital S. Plus he can try a case.]


4. Will Thomas raise Miller's bond, put him in the box and require a bondsman to come in to say he/she will take him out on the original bond?
[ We think Judge Miller is not a risk of flight. Danger to the community? Probably. But not a risk of flight. The bond will not be raised.]


5. Will KFR select H. Walker to handle the case?
[No. ASA Grieco will make a star appearance as a Guest Prosecutor. The trial will be shown on MTV’s new show: Rockin the REGJB.]


6. Is H. Walker really "Cab" Calloway? Orange whip anyone?
[No and No]


7. Will Special Agent Prosecutor Captain Avenger Miller still be able to teach the weapons course at the advocate program?
[Yes. Guns don’t kill people. Judges who hand out the death penalty for any ol reason kill people.]

8. Is Greico really going to be Judge Miller's intern/law clerk/weapons consultant/SWAT guy this summer?
[No. See above.]

9. If the case goes to trial, will Thomas work to 1:00 a.m. even if Warren Schwartz leaves at 4:30? Will H. Walker's kerchief in his front jacket pocket wilt after 5:00 p.m.?

[Some questions cannot be answered without resort to theoretical physics. According to the superposition theory of quantum mechanics, as stated by the famous illustration of Schrodinger's cat, it is theoretically possible for Warren Schwartz to be in court and out of court at the exact same moment. For the same reason, if you take Mr. Walker’s kerchief and place it in a sealed vault, and place a very small amount of a radioactive substance, when that substance decays the kerchief will wilt. Because the vault is sealed, we cannot know if or when this has occurred, thus the kerchief under the theory of superposition is and is not wilted. ]

Please Rumpole. Please give me some guidance here. The public demands answers and you can deliver them. [Done. No Charge. Pro Bono Publico.].

AND HERE ARE TEN QUESTIONS FOR OUR FAVORITE ELECTED DADE OFFICIAL, SENT IN BY A CURIOUS READER:

I've been trying to interview your so-called "Public" Defender for quite some time with negative results. So I thought maybe the BLOG could help. Here are my top ten questions for Bennett Brummer -

1) Is Howard Lubel now the TerriChavez of the PD's Office? And ifso does he still make 120k to basically do social work or didyou finally cut his salary.

2) Is Pat Nally now in division?And if so does he still make 120k to handle the same "A" caseload that is normally handled for less then 50k.

3) When are you going to retire and let someone else be PD? Or areyou going to be PD for life?

4) What is your latest accomplishment with the Florida legislature? Since that was your main campaign theme in the last election, I was curious whether you have actually had any recent success.

5) Is it true that you do not want young PD's to stay for longer than3 to 5 years? And if so is that so you all at the top do not have to worry about anyone threatening your100k per year government job?

6) Are you grooming anyone in particular to be the next PD?(Carlos Martinez, Lourdes Simon, etc.)

7) Who do you see running the PD'soffice in ten years?

8) How many bagels does Rory eat a week? What about danishes?

9) Do you not understand how morale at the office is hurt by the non-working old timers (Kramer, Warren, Marie O, Rory, Williams, etc.) getting a free pass while still making over 100k?

10) Why are trials at the officedown the past three years in succession? Is it because you either fired or forced out most ofthe young gun trial dogs?

Please Mr. Brummer answer the questions. Even though the sign outside your office says "Law Offices of Bennett H. Brummer",remember it really is The "Law Offices of the Public Defender".

And this member of the public wants some answers.

Justice Reporter

Gotta love question 8. See You In Court. Going to get an appointment before Judge Thomas and see for ourselves what the fuss is about.




40 comments:

Anonymous said...

Rump, you need therapy. You can't seem to get past Grieco no matter how hard you try. Looks like an obsession to me......

Rumpole said...

Grieco or Brummer?

Anonymous said...

RUSH JUST GOT ARRESTED. I WANT MY MONEY BACK FOR THAT RUBBER CHICKEN DINNER.

CAPTAIN said...

The Captain can report that in the 2004 election for Dade County Public Defender, the two candidates raised the following:

Gabe Martin

$90,042 from contributors
$32,500 in loans
$1,921 in kind

$124,463 total raised from 456 contributors. You are more than welcome to browse the 456 names to see who was and is still an APD.

Bennett Brummer

$250,821 from contributors
$150,000 in loans
$12,154 in kind

$412,975 total raised from 1351 contributors. You are more than welcome to browse the 1351 names and you will see Rory Stein $1,000 and Warren Schwartz and his wife Marleen $1,000 each among the many names.

.............

Two weeks left in qualifying and it has been unusually quiet ... no new filings in County or Circuit Court.

The Captain still expects a certain Assistant State Attorney to make her decision very soon and at least one more Circuit Court Judge will be spending the long, hot summer at many a breakfast, lunch and dinner affair.

The Captain is out ..........

Anonymous said...

mmmm breakfast

Johnny Cuban said...

Brummer is a great example of the old time Democratic machine handing out synecures to political cronies.

the riddler said...

Rumpole:

I have to beg your indulgence for another round of rumours that have surfaced. My contacts have been text messaging me for the last 24 hours on a series of events that are both stunning and shocking.

A source close to the players involved here has agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity. It seems that the Greico resignation was a red herring for the real story. Greico is considering running against county sheriff David Miller. Miller heard about this and requested a "sit down" with Greico and his people at Granny Feelgood's on Thursday late afternoon. The meeting was sanctioned by Don Lenny Glick, father of the diabolical Glick Crime Syndicate and his son Stacey. Farina also gave his blessing. What happened next is somewhat unclear but we have pieced the together the following:

Miller arrived at Granny's and flashed his judge badge and his 4 holstered sidearms, 2 granades, a C4 bar and a surface to air missile concealed under his jacket. He was also wearing pancho villa style criss cross leather ammo holsters. Miller arrived with his bailiff and newly hired campaign maven and part time body guard David "no min mans waived" Paulus. Greico walked in shortly thereafter with his new consultant, Clay Kaiser. The Kaiser move was designed to show Greico as a compassionate conservative. The waitress did not identify Greico per se, but she described the candidate as flashing 14 little badge pins worn on on an FBI or DEA laniard around his neck. We have to assume this was in fact Greico.

What Miller's camp did not realize was that earlier that afternoon, Kaiser entered the Granny Feelgood's mens room and planted a snub nose .38 behind the toilet disguised as the late great Murray Klein.

The sit down started with the discussion surrounding Greico's intent to kick off his campaign with a huge block party at the Mahi Lot. As advertised, Greico is the DJ and women under the age of 22 only will be admitted. Miller and Greico shared a hummus platter appetizer with extra pita and olives as the discussion progressed. Clay Kaiser sat at the table looking confused and indifferent, much the same way he does at morning calender.

At some point between eating hummus and waiting for a tuna sandwich on 12 grain bread with extra sprouts, Greico asked if he could use the men's room. Paulus nodded to Miller and Greico was granted permission. Greico found the .38 and confronted Miller. Greico fired twice hitting Miller in the chest. Greico and Kaiser took of in Kaiser's volvo. What they did not know was that Miller was wearing the kevlar vest he obtained during the invasion of Grenada and was not even injured.

What has happened since this stunning turn of events is anyone's guess. Greico may be hiding out at Bill Mcghee's auto theft war room in central Dade. At least his car will be safe there. I was also told by a good source that he was hiding in the KFR "Justice in Motion" mini van often seen parked in the Graham lot. He may have been having sex in there, but we don't know.

Miller has been seen driving around South Miami in his tank in what he has dubbed "Operation MySpace.com."

I have heard that Judge Thomas may be tapped to arbitrate this feud picked after denying whites, jews, hispanics, females and bulgarians to make sure this high profile case is handled by a black judge.

Rumpole, please consult with your minions and tell us what is happening here.

Side note: "The Warren Schwartz Story" being produced by the Lifetime channel in conjunction with the Oxygen Network and Oprah, has narrowed the actors being considered for the role of Warren. Sam Slom and Danny DeVito are the finalists. Marlene Schwartz will be played by Eva Longoria. Rory will be played by either John Goodman, Sinbad or Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid. Bennett makes a cameo as well as Raul from the pickle barell and Ronny the supply guy at the PD's office.

Critics are already saying that this may be the motion picture event of 2007. I myself can't wait.

Rumpole, again please help separate fact from fiction here. The Dade legal community can only wait in anticipation.

the riddler said...

Rumpole:

I have to beg your indulgence for another round of rumours that have surfaced. My contacts have been text messaging me for the last 24 hours on a series of events that are both stunning and shocking.

A source close to the players involved here has agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity. It seems that the Greico resignation was a red herring for the real story. Greico is considering running against county sheriff David Miller. Miller heard about this and requested a "sit down" with Greico and his people at Granny Feelgood's on Thursday late afternoon. The meeting was sanctioned by Don Lenny Glick, father of the diabolical Glick Crime Syndicate and his son Stacey. Farina also gave his blessing. What happened next is somewhat unclear but we have pieced the together the following:

Miller arrived at Granny's and flashed his judge badge and his 4 holstered sidearms, 2 granades, a C4 bar and a surface to air missile concealed under his jacket. He was also wearing pancho villa style criss cross leather ammo holsters. Miller arrived with his bailiff and newly hired campaign maven and part time body guard David "no min mans waived" Paulus. Greico walked in shortly thereafter with his new consultant, Clay Kaiser. The Kaiser move was designed to show Greico as a compassionate conservative. The waitress did not identify Greico per se, but she described the candidate as flashing 14 little badge pins worn on on an FBI or DEA laniard around his neck. We have to assume this was in fact Greico.

What Miller's camp did not realize was that earlier that afternoon, Kaiser entered the Granny Feelgood's mens room and planted a snub nose .38 behind the toilet disguised as the late great Murray Klein.

The sit down started with the discussion surrounding Greico's intent to kick off his campaign with a huge block party at the Mahi Lot. As advertised, Greico is the DJ and women under the age of 22 only will be admitted. Miller and Greico shared a hummus platter appetizer with extra pita and olives as the discussion progressed. Clay Kaiser sat at the table looking confused and indifferent, much the same way he does at morning calender.

At some point between eating hummus and waiting for a tuna sandwich on 12 grain bread with extra sprouts, Greico asked if he could use the men's room. Paulus nodded to Miller and Greico was granted permission. Greico found the .38 and confronted Miller. Greico fired twice hitting Miller in the chest. Greico and Kaiser took of in Kaiser's volvo. What they did not know was that Miller was wearing the kevlar vest he obtained during the invasion of Grenada and was not even injured.

What has happened since this stunning turn of events is anyone's guess. Greico may be hiding out at Bill Mcghee's auto theft war room in central Dade. At least his car will be safe there. I was also told by a good source that he was hiding in the KFR "Justice in Motion" mini van often seen parked in the Graham lot. He may have been having sex in there, but we don't know.

Miller has been seen driving around South Miami in his tank in what he has dubbed "Operation MySpace.com."

I have heard that Judge Thomas may be tapped to arbitrate this feud picked after denying whites, jews, hispanics, females and bulgarians to make sure this high profile case is handled by a black judge.

Rumpole, please consult with your minions and tell us what is happening here.

Side note: "The Warren Schwartz Story" being produced by the Lifetime channel in conjunction with the Oxygen Network and Oprah, has narrowed the actors being considered for the role of Warren. Sam Slom and Danny DeVito are the finalists. Marlene Schwartz will be played by Eva Longoria. Rory will be played by either John Goodman, Sinbad or Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid. Bennett makes a cameo as well as Raul from the pickle barell and Ronny the supply guy at the PD's office.

Critics are already saying that this may be the motion picture event of 2007. I myself can't wait.

Rumpole, again please help separate fact from fiction here. The Dade legal community can only wait in anticipation.

Anonymous said...

captain,

where do you get your numbers from? where can i see campaign contributors? please advise.

anonymous

Anonymous said...

Look up Dade County Department of Elections for County Court and State of Florida Department of Elections for Circuit Court,and this is not from El Captain.
By the way,Al Milian and his cronies are all backstabbers and do not know what the truth is.Who is he receiving money from;an attorney or publicist?Is this not illegal,or suggestive of improper conduct etc.

Anonymous said...

rory stein will definitely be played by will ferrell. that mini-saga was hysterical.

Anonymous said...

"This is the business we have chosen"

Anonymous said...

There was a young man, a man of vision......, that man was Moe Greene,I didn't ask who gave the order.....................

Lex said...

"There was a man who came to REGJB, and he made this courthouse what it is today. That man was David Miller. And now there is not so much as even a plaque in his name here."

Make sure Judge Thomas gets a friggin' plaque.

Anonymous said...

no plaque for miller, just the moniker "maximum-miller". glad he's gone

CAPTAIN said...

CIRCUIT COURT CAMPAIGN WATCH:

The clock is ticking and there are now less than two weeks to go until the end of qualifying. The burning question seems to be not whether Cristina Miranda, ASA, will be filing, but against whom, she will be filing?

There has been wide speculation that she will file in Group 24 against first term Judge Mindy Glazer. In anticipation of that challenge, Her Honor recently put her money where her gavel is, and poked down $140,000 of her own mulah on March 31, 2006.

Many remember Glazer filing at the 11th hour and startling lontime sitting Judge Martin Kahn. In that election, Glazer raised only $7,693 and ponied in an additional $37,500 of her own money, but it was enough to unseat Kahn.

In 2006, Glazer has raised $64,773 from 332 contributors and added $150,000 of her own cash for a campaign warchest of nearly $215K.

If Miranda chooses not to file against Glazer, she has several other possible opponents, among them:

David Miller, Cindy Lederman, Lester Langer, David Young, Gisela Cardonne Ely, Pedro Echarte, Maria Korvick, Ellen Venzer, Arthur Rothenberg, Maxine Cohen Lando, Mark King Leban, Maria Espinosa Dennis, Cristina Pereyra-Shuminer, Maynard "Skip" Gross, Ellen Leesfield, Israel Reyes, Joel Brown, Victoria Platzer, and Stan Blake.

so Ms. Miranda ... what say you ....

and the Captain has spoken .......

Anonymous said...

she is going to file against Glazer. These girls Fight dirty.

Anonymous said...

The blog is dying...

Anonymous said...

It all depends on whether Miranda wants to win. She already shot herself in the foot with the JNC. There are some judges on the Captain's list who are not seen as good campaigners and are thus vulnerable (Glazer, as evidenced from the past, is a very good and shrewd campaigner). Of course, there are a number of judges on the Captain's list whom Miranda won't dare run against).

Anonymous said...

She will win against Glazer for two reasons. 1st she does no need to raise ant money. Her family is very rich. Even richer then Uncle Warren. Second, her last name is Miranda.

Anonymous said...

As a high ranking member of the Brummer organization, I have been given the authority, by Mr. Brummer himself, to offer a 30 day cease-fire to the rebels.

Anonymous said...

miranda will beat glazer b/c she is hotter

Anonymous said...

the riddler is a riot. more please

Anonymous said...

For those questioning all the contributions, the site is elections.miami-dade.gov.

Anonymous said...

Newly minted Attorney Tom Mote, actually in his sophmore year,is off to a good start. He has three bondsman working for him. He called on one of my clients and offered to do her case. She did not know who he is or why he was clling and graciously declined his offer. These young bloods are quick learners. Not bad. Tom you have not been out of school for so long, and maybe you already forgot the ethics courses taught at law school, but maybe you should take a refresher course. If I were someone else I would take you to task. You should learn to crawl before you can walk.

Anonymous said...

Is it Tom Mote or To-mate?

You say Tom Mote, I say to-mote

Anonymous said...

mr. mote. it is not nice to steal clients so please don't. mr. narc, why bring the young buck down to shame unless you state your name?

Anonymous said...

Lettuce understand Tom-mote whether you are in a pickle on this, some of us need to ketchup on the way some are getting new clients. Mustard we only hear half the story? Whats the beef?

Are you trying to get bread unethically or is anonymous a turkey?

sounds cheesy

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Tom needs to learn to maneuver the criminal seas like Joe Klock does who can get a B/W set aside without going to the division Judge or having to wait. Incredible what connections can do with the administrative judge. Leifman knows what I am talking about. I think that many attorneys are rookies when it comes to this intricate power move. Will there be a seminar to teach how to bypass the norm and get B/W set aside without waiting? (Rump, is it CLE Seminar list time again?) Or maybe, we can add an express lane in the 6th floor maybe?

Anonymous said...

Can we please get a picture of this Miranda lady on the blog for all to see. We hear a lot about her, but many do not know her.

Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I guess the bloggers point about bail bondsman/salemen was deleted or something, because no one has seen it. The system we exist in is corrupt and no one (but me) is willing to call a spade a spade.

Anonymous said...

miranda is not hot. not even close.

Anonymous said...

much hotter then that calico cat.

Anonymous said...

¡QUE VIVA LA RAZA!

Anonymous said...

QUE VIVA BENITO BRUMMER!!!

Anonymous said...

QUE VIVA CATALINA FERNANDEZ RUNDLE!!!

Anonymous said...

Rump, you wrote that Warren S. "can try a case". Technically, yes, of course. Try it well? The motherfucker is pure garbage. I know. I've seen it, first-hand. Stop trying to kiss his ass like he'll invite you to his mansion by the bay.And he's not that nice a guy.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Brummer - I'm still waiting for a response.

Anonymous said...

Judge Thomas continues to display a complete lack of common courtesy and understanding. I think the indictment against him needs to be superceeded. Maybe we can persuade the FEDS to take the case and they can seek pre-trial detention.

Anonymous said...

i agree. i was in their once, waited 20 mins, and took it. the next time i had to leave and come back way too many times. painful. elected or appointed? when is term over?