IT’S TOO DAMN HOT
There comes a time in every Miami lawyer’s summer when the seersucker suit starts to suffocate, the courthouse AC wheezes in protest, and the iced cafecito sweats faster than your last cross-exam under Judge Thomas's stare. That time, dear readers, is now.
It is too damn hot.
Like “sixth circle of Hialeah hell” hot.
Like “I just saw a bailiff fry an egg on the sidewalk of the REGJB” hot.
The kind of heat that makes the parking lot at 1351 look like the surface of Mercury and has the usual suspects at the PD’s office fantasizing about taking depositions in Reykjavik.
A few seasoned attorneys have the right idea: briefcases packed, auto-replies set, and they’re already in the mountains of North Carolina or sipping something chilled in the south of France (because appellate extensions taste better with Bordeaux). The rest of you? You trudge from courtroom to courtroom, dodging puddles of sweat and pretending that polyester is “lightweight.”
And yet—despite the melting faces and scorched tempers—justice, like that one AC on the seventh floor grinds on. Judges still bang gavels, ASA’s still offer pleas no one wants except victims, and some poor civil lawyer without a vacay airbnb on the Cape is still trying to schedule a depo in August.
So here’s your legal tip of the week: File that continuance. Reset that depo. Put the jacket in storage. And if your case isn’t first up on the calendar, maybe—just maybe—get out of Dodge. Let the courthouse bake. It’ll still be here in September.
Yours in sunscreen and sanity,
Rumpole
P.S. If anyone sees Judge De La O who is everywhere, covering everyone (but no longer an admin Judge) in robes and flip-flops again, please send photos. The people demand transparency.
6 comments:
I saw judge De La O several times today on his way to a quidditch match on the 4th flr. Not only does he easily cover everyone in the bldg but he’s on warrant duty this week.
If I only had his energy…..
You are absolutely right. I had an ASA tell me this morning that Miami is notoriously lenient on defendants. Why don’t more judges reject those pleas? I’ve known some of them personally for years and they aren’t “liberal.”
If Judge de la O wants to walk around barefoot, that is o.k. with me the only way we get to keep this guy is if there is a construction strike at the new 73
Can anyone explain why De la O is now in a division? Who did he piss off? Why would the chief judge assign him to try cocaine possessions and batt leos when he is the best trial judge in the building?
Because petty politics trumps competence in the Miami Dade court system.
Because the Chief Judge. Farajo is a fool.
Rumpole, unfortunately your view is correct. But, as talented as Judge Jean is, let all of these folks know that we expect and demand the same services that the people got from Judges Wolfson, de la O, and Tinkler Mendez
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