WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. THIS BLOG HAS BEEN CALLED "THE DEFINITIVE BLOG ON MIAMI CRIMINAL LAW" BY THE NY TIMES, THE WASHINGTON POST, THE POPE, AND DONALD TRUMP WHO ALSO ONCE SAID IT WAS "REALLY GREAT". POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM

Tuesday, November 03, 2015

A BENCH AND BAR MIXER ...OH JOY

It's that time of year again, when Judges and Lawyers get together and drink and chat and speak ill of those not attending.


Pick the fake conversation snippet we have had with a judge at one of these shindigs over the years:

1) "...and the governor called and said if I put my name in he would chose me for the Third DCA, but I really like trying cases..."

2) "...and it's a lot of money and I can write my own ticket at Greenberg but the kids are out of college and I'd prefer to not take on a full case load and all the stress of private practice..."

3) "...and I told the prosecutor to call Kathy Rundle and have her report to my court immediately but instead they nolle prossed the case..."

4) "... and not only did the jury find my client not guilty, but they wrote a note to the judge that I was the best lawyer they had ever seen.  And that was only in my second year of practice. Then when I tried my first federal case..."

5) "...and I tried thirty cases in my first two years at the SAO, and won twenty-nine of them, and then tried another forty in the next three years and won them all..."

6) "...so then after issuing the order I got a very nice handwritten note from a justice on the Florida Supreme Court saying it was the best order he had ever seen and that I should definitely put my name in to be an appellate judge..."

7) "...but I wouldn't hear of it, so I paid for dinner..."


See you in court, but not at Lolita whatever, because we really don't associate with hoi-polloi if we can help it. 


#7 is the fake one. 





25 comments:

Anonymous said...

No, I don't want to go to your bar mitzvah. I have other plans.

Anonymous said...

Why isn't this taking place at Prime 112?

Fake Kenny said...

The food is atrocious. The drinks watered down and expensive. Fridays on ocean drive is much better. Those fried zucchini...:

Anonymous said...

You know where they should be having this party. Just saying..: I mean who else is serving wild caught unagi sashimi and fresh flash fried Florida lobster lime bites??

Anonymous said...

Fat Sals in Hollywood, California serves a steak hoagie with fries and mozzarella sticks in the sandwich. The real deal in a fake city.

Anonymous said...

Come on. Not just mozzarella sticks. But those breaded and fried mozzarella sticks so when they are in the sandwich they are hot and oozing cheese.

Real Fake Former Judge said...

Oh my. After a big night of partying with the Hollywood hotties who were always impressed by the robe badge and gavel we would always hit up Fat Sals. Those were the days.

Vladimir Nabokov said...

"Was she really beautiful? Was she at least what they call attractive? She was exasperation, she was torture."

Anonymous said...

Her angel's face, As the great eye of heaven shined bright, And made a sunshine in the shady place.

Anonymous said...

Will you be there Rumpole? Captain? Professor?

Anonymous said...

I was that close. I want to please everyone. -John Thornton

Be seated.
-Joel Brown

Let me tell you about the constitution.
-Milt

Let's have a drink.
-Ms. Rundle

Anonymous said...

wants to please everyone if they're rich and/or powerful

Anonymous said...

Power is such a tedious bore...

Anonymous said...

Im not even in FACDL but I know the young lawyers who organized this are really working hard to make it a success, in the hopes that we can have... you know... an actual feeling of community.

Anon commenters bitching about its location should stfu

Anonymous said...

Has anyone noticed that some Judges will be on thier cellphones during trial? what do you all think of that?

L said...

You know, I read somewhere that muses are meant to be adored and indulged. Even when they make very, very particular requests...

Anonymous said...

Why is ecru still a color for gosh sakes? I mean really who do I have to speak to?

Anonymous said...

Bring any check from tonight's silly event to you know where- a venue- for half off your entire bill, up to 24 people. Eat, drink, order anything. Present a check from today from Lolita and voila- 1/2 off. Come taste real food and superior drinks, and you decide.

Anonymous said...

If he thinks you're really big shit, he'll even compliment your lawyers' great lawyering, no matter how illiterate they are or how egregious and abhorrent their behavior has been.

Anonymous said...

Hey 1:27 PM, have you noticed that most attorneys will be on their cellphones during trial? What do you think of that?

Anonymous said...

Ok, I don;t think I need to stay here anymore and watch several members of the judiciary do the electric slide.

Anonymous said...

After a couple drinks, ask him to tell you about his theory of the "singular conspirator". It's this whole crazy new math/physics thing, involving the space-time continuum. Will fucking blow your mind.

Anonymous said...

7:46 p.m., conspiracy convictions with one conspirator or less are routine in federal court under the constructive conspiracy doctrine.

Anonymous said...

Not when all co-conspirators have been acquitted by way of judgment of acquittal and the court finds there was no conspiracy.

Anonymous said...

http://ustaxcourt.gov/UstcInOp/OpinionViewer.aspx?ID=10588

Superb lawyering!