It's been busy day at the REGJB.
BREAKING. Someone named "Bieber" who is apparently a person of some renown in the entertainment world, was arrested earlier today. He had his first appearance before Judge Farina, who is a Judge of some renown in Miami. Bond was set. The media is breathlessly analyzing the cosmic implications of all of this.
A lawyer named "Roy Black" muddled his way through the hearing without too much trouble.
Occasionally we take a break from our award winning witty repartee; the continued disparagement of our robed readers, and the downright tarring and feathering of judicial candidates, to post something useful to our readers.
Today is that day.
If you've been walking around staring at your expired security ID without any idea what to do next, then this is for you.
There is NOTHING more important in the lives of lawyers at the REGB than the ability to bypass the hour long lines outside of our humble courthouse.
This is, of course, a lawyer-centric view. We imagine the judicial-centric view of what is important might revolve more along the lines of locating the local free lunch buffets or making that 3pm tee-time or mani-pedi appointment. (Our ability to hold in abeyance the cheap shots at judges isn't very good.)
Go get those IDs. Don't wait in line. Pass Go. Collect your fee.
See You In Court.
51 comments:
Im with you , Rump.
Who gives a shit ?
100k for a Back on Track referral. Must be good to be Roy Black.
The Captain Report:
FARINA - BIEBER EXCHANGE .....
We now have the transcript of the proceedings between these two leaders in their respective fields:
FARINA: Next case, Justin Beaver
BIEBER: Yo honor, was' up' - it's Bieber.
Farina: Sorry, Mr. Bieber. It says here you are charged with DUI, Resisting Arrest, and Driving on an Expired License. Can you afford a lawyer?
BIEBER: You're kidding me. You are Fucking kidding me Judge. No, really. You are fucking with me, right. Can I fucking afford a lawyer. Yo, yer honor. I got de man right here with me. You know, Ray Black. The one who walked Kennedy. At least that's what I'm told.
FARINA: I'm sorry Mr. Beiber. I didn't realize you had retained Mr. Black. I had no idea by your looks and age that you could afford the services of Mr. Black.
BIEBER: Yo, you fucking with me again Judge. Come on now. You must know who I am. The Beebs. JB. J-Beebs. Let me try this Judge:
(singing a verse from Baby): Baby, baby, baby oooh
Like baby, baby, baby nooo
Like baby, baby, baby oooh
I thought you'd always be mine.
FARINA: Do you have any ties to the community?
BEIBER: Would dropping 75k at a titty bar in Miami two nights ago count as ties to the community, Judge?
FARINA: Uh, no. We'll just set a standard bond of $2,500.
Next case.
Cap Out ....
Why wouldn't he just post the standard bond and avoid Perp TV? Doesn't he pay someone to do damage control?
At least his hair stylist did a good job for the photo.
I don't understand why he hired Black. Its gonna be BOT for sure. And it'll play like Black got him some amazing deal and avoided "6 months in jail." And zero damage control here. What are they paying for?
cap
u have too much time on ur hands.
he should have hired ed odonnell jr.
he should fight at trial. great mug shot.
cysco kid
4:24, someone put a "hold for magistrate" in his jail card to force him to go to bond hearing instead of just posting standard bond like anyone else.
Beebs not eligible for BOT. But of course, money talks. State may cave under the Black Star and jack up his conditions, but they have to be VERY careful about setting bad precedent.
This ain't Tracy Mourning who does more for charity in 10 minutes than JBee has done is his miserable 19 years on this earth. She got a pass, he's drag racing on MB.
If I live on the street where he was racing I'd be on the phone to Kathy and Joe Mansfield (Chief of County Court).
Will someone please advise on the specific details of renewing the court ID's. Where to go? Application? Fees, etc.
100 k? You dumbass. 250 k initial retainer. 250 k a week later .
Isn't Bieber Canadian? A conviction might have immigration implications. Plus, if you have the money, why wouldn't you get Black?
I agree, if you think he is paying low six figs, you are fing crazy. Black is worth it
If biebs wants a trial, he has none better. Should be a great show
Roy and Howard lose a lot. They just don't pr it . Roy's great.,,Howard's good. None better? Not sure.
Didn't they just lose the WPB billionaire DUI trial?
You are all wrong:
1. Bieber will not get BOT because of the racing charge.
2. Bieber will not have immigration problems if he is a Canadian citizen. The only problem is for others who try to enter Canada with a DUI pending or DUI conviction in the USA. We give Canada our entire criminal database. Even then, you can hire a Canadian lawyer, show "rehab" and get in. In Canada, all DUI cases are felonies.
3. Bieber needs a real DUI lawyer like Reiff, Catalano or in the hold days, Hersch. Maybe Roy will split his $100k fee with one of the local experts. (Doubt it)
4. Beach cops can suspend his DL if he is under 21 and blows a reading over .02. Probably didn't do it though.
Uh, no....conviction reversed, trial judge off case, guy on bond. with the facts that they had, I would call that a huge fucking win.
If you ain't loosing cases, you ain't trying hard ones. I remember a jackals years ago telling me that he had never lost a dui trial as a prosecutor or defense lawyer...that changed quickly if it even had been true
Beach cops can't suspend a georgia dl....come on now 8:17
Right - LOST at jury trial . That's what the comment indicated.
If your losin' cases and making excuses by claiming those who win are only trying easy ones you're a complete dipshit because any lawyer worth her salt knows the easy ones never make it to trial .
Why is Ruiz listed as judge on Biebers case? He isn't a judge downtown.
I would've hired Reiff, but Black knows how to handle celebrity cases. Bieber needs serious PR damage control, and that is something Black can do from a criminal arena aspect. Besides, I'm sure after the arrest someone said "who is the best lawyer we can get" and the response was Black. Anyone who lives down here and knows DUIs knows Reiff is literally the man who wrote the book.
You watch. SAO will write a nice close out memo dropping charges on Justin because the reading is below .08 even though they will find drugs in his urine.
Our clients with same facts are set for trial.
Remember Mrs. Alonzo Mourning?
Remember the football player who got one month in jail for buying his way out of a DUI manslaughter?
He can hire Rob Malove as well. He is amongst the best.
A new era in Miami begins tonight as Shumie's new nightclub has a grand opening in Kendall. Just google REN. Stop by show your bar card and get free admission and half off well drinks until 2am.
Shumie's nightclub: think Rick of Casablanca but with a swinging south beach style and vibe.
10:08.. DHSMV suspends your "privilege to drive" in Florida, regardless of any other physical license you may have from any other state.So, yes his ability to drive would be suspended. In any event, he had no privilege to drive here as his GA was expired.
As an Under 21 y/o a reading under .02 BrAC = no Fl suspension.
Reiff may have written the book, but he's got no jury appeal, not likeable.
Are you kidding me? Bobby has won more DUIS than most lawyers have ever tried. He is the best and that includes being the best at trial. And he has been the best for a few decades now.
Rob Malove? ever seen him scream at clients who wont cop a plea?
Looks like Judge Bill Altfield drew the Bieber case.
My motto is unless you can hire the very,very, best go with the PD.
State v. Bieber
B14-2900
Judge Ruiz (alt. Mary Jo Francis)
Resisting W/O Violence
SFR: 1/27/14 - 8:30 AM
CONSOLIDATED WITH TRAFFIC CASES
# A10S5SE AND A10WN7E
Captain Doofus...that's a jail report placeholder entry which will taken off calendar on Monday. BONDED OUT, JUDGE!
Bieber will be transferred to the DUI division soon.
If only Sharpstien was here now. He would be the best for the Beebe.
So, on the bond hearing tape I heard that another lawyer had called in about the case, a guy name Brad Cohen from FTL. They tried calling him, got voice mail and Black stepped in for the co-D (until any conflict was resolved)
Who is Brad Cohen?
Brad "The Terminator" Cohen. Tried 44 DUI jury trials last year. 40 NG. 2 lesser verdicts, 2 Guilty's one of those reduced by a JNOV.
Has a degree in Astrophysics from Stanford before going to law school. The best of the best in DUI litigation in Florida.
Can someone please explain why Bieber had to be in Bond Court at all? Why wasn't he just given standard bond and bonded out like every other DUI case?
Thanks.
Bieber has what is called a DRE case. (Drug Recognition Expert or Evaluator) It's the ultimate voodoo. If Officer Cosner is the DRE then, it gets even wilder simply because he has zero personality.
Only Catalano and Reiff know anything about those strange drug/alcohol cases.
Roy will be scratching his head when he reads the DRE report where the cop tries to guess what drug is causing the impairment even before the urine test results arrive.
WHAT A NIGHT AT REN!
The music was hoppin.
The babes were poplin.
The drinks were flowin.
Shumie's empire be growin.
The hottest night club east of CashRoc in Vegas had a spectacular opening last night as the DJ spun the best jams.
"Cash money ain't never gonna play out"
Motto of Ren/
Don't even think about the Super Bowl at REN. Sold out. Exclusive party. Only for the beautiful and/or wealthy.
I just tried to make a reservation for Valentines Day: SOLD OUT at the restaurant. Told me to try and bar and come early. Knowing the big fella doesn't help one bit. Damn.
8:17 am, Bieber is not charged with racing. Somehow the cops forgot to ladd that charge even though they wrote the allegations for it in the A-form's narrative. He was only charged with DUI, resisting w/o and DL expired > 6 mos.
10:09 pm, Bieber had a "hold for magistrate" in his jail card. It'd be nice to know who put it and why. It'd also be nice to know why Corrections released him so fast after posting bond (as it should be) while our clients are held for hours.
I'm surprised that Bieber did not hire Lyons & Lurvey like other sports and showbiz figures.
7:14 because the guy who referred them cases went to prison
7:14 PM
Chris Lyons and Dan Lurvey have not been partners for more than two years now.
Who is Chris lieons?
Prosecutor will do a Prefile with cops on Bieber and add the racing charge.
I too was astonished how fast he got out after being on tape.
LOL. If you think Black will be lost on the DRE issues, then you obviously know nothing about him.
Black will read everything there is on DRE and, by the time he's done, will know as much as almost anyone. Say what you want about him, the man knows the game and plays to win.
BTDT
Reading everything is not the same as living it for 25 years.
Of couse Roy can handle a DUI but, would love to see look on his face when he reads the DRE report and wonders what planet it comes from.
PLEASE. DRE is not that complicated.
BTDT
I only do about 10 DUI cases and year and I found DRE to be a total mess and about the most complicated nonsense in the world.
DRE is junk "science" used to create PC.
In the WPB DUI case for the billionaire, Goodman dumped Roy and his paralegal, that little guy who looks like beaker from the muppets .
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