Saturday, December 31, 2011


We wanted to end the year on a good note, and not a sour one. Criticizing Judges is a wearisome and unfortunately necessary job of the preeminent blog that covers the legal scene of Miami. In other words, it's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it. Like bond hearings on New Years Day.

So Happy New Year!

2012 brings a new year loaded with special challenges. Clients will show up seeking help. Some will be in distress, some will need immediate help, and others will just need a confident, guiding hand.

Our wish for our blog readers is that 2012 brings you all the joy and success that you want and deserve.

We (meaning all of us who work in the REGJB) are truly blessed to be working in our chosen profession, using our talents to support our family and help those who need our skills.

Many of our fellow citizens suffered in 2011. They lost their jobs and their homes were endangered or lost. The news reports that millions more americans have given up hope of finding employment and are thus not counted in the unemployment statistics.

There are simple enjoyments in life that sometimes we need to be reminded of. The joy of working in a fulfilling job. The pleasure of using your training and skill. The simple comfort of being with family and knowing that they are similarly safe and happy.

Sometimes life throws curveballs at you and you lose things that are precious to you, like your health or your job or your loved ones. In those times we are comforted by this saying: "Tough times don't last, tough people do."

Here's hoping that 2012 is filled with those simple joys and pleasures that make life worth living. For those of you who have faced tough times- be tough and endure. Life will get better. For those of you lucky enough to have had a successful 2011, take time to remember that there is an element of luck and chance in life and be happy for the good fortune you have been blessed with.

See you in court in 2012.



Fake Kenny said...

New Years Eve Dress: Standard South Beach Black: Black jeans and black shirt and black Ferragamo loafers. For me, because I can pull it off, I top the whole thing off with my bright red Paul Smith blazer. But you can wear a Ralph Lauren black blazer or similar accoutrement. A Nehru jacket- white or blue from Sean Parnell also woks nicely.

As to food, I have my reservations at Joes. Regular table. You're on your own.

Happy new year.

sobelivinlarge blog.

Camp Q, Carpathia said...

From high in the Carpathian mountains, the Q extends benificient greetings to his followers.

Anonymous said...

Here's the video. http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/Pair-Charged-With-Raping-Pregnant-Woman-136324883.html

Fake alex michaels said...

Come reeeng in dee new year with mee at hard rock. I will be doing 30 minutes of my dis is bulll sheeet for 2012.

Anonymous said...

Sat at KFR's table at a wedding, then ran into Judge Scola (Federal) at Whip and Dip the next day. Not 30 minutes after leaving Whip and Dip, I ran into Juwan Howard at the car wash. All were very kind and engaging.

Wonder who else I will run into.

Rumpole, it was a pleasure reading the blog in 2011. Keep up the excellent work.

Anonymous said...

Every year Maurice, the pastry chef at Per Se in Manhattan prepares a dozen vanilla creme brulees for me. The vanilla beans are harvested from Mt Suribachi on Guadalcanal only on March 23 between noon and 3pm and then flown to Per Se where they marinate until tonight. I have the creme brulees flown in and served at my table at Joes.

old guy said...

They moved the mountain from Iwo Jima??

Anonymous said...

Its a well known fact that the japs moved the mountain jut before evacuating iwo jima

Livinlarge at joes said...

Bring more selects, fried sweets, coleslaw, and some of those pumpernickle rolls with the onions.

Anonymous said...


Impressive. You have managed to be pretentious and ignorant all in one sentence.

A new Blog record.

Looking forward to a New Year with some new personalities on the blog.

Angry Gurl said...

Here's what I hate:

Spending $750 for a room at the 4 Seasons and it took me 20 minutes to figure out to turn on the damn lights. Whatever happened to a simple light switch?

That NASA is spending half a billion dollars to put two satellites on the poles of the moon. Haven't we done the moon already? Like 40 years ago? Move on.

I don't mind the "happy new years". The people who work at the hotel are trained to be subservient and fake happy. But those people who corner you at a party and tell you with such fake enthusiasm why 2012 is going to be so great. Don't they remember the same fake ebullient feelings they had in 2010 for 2011?

Me? I had an OK 2011. Some things were fine, some were not. That's what most of us can expect in any new year. So stop the fake "ooohhhh 2012 is going to be the best year ever!" squealing. News flash: It's not.

Anonymous said...

What's the Q doing in the Carpathian mountains?

In Lust said...

I took my super hot Colombian GF (she was my client's mom if you remember) back to Vegas where it all began earlier this year. Got an upgrade at the Wynn Encore and arrived about 6pm 12/31. It was a last minute thing.

We went to Surrender Night which is always populated by 18 year old california hotties who have impossibly great tans, blazing white teeth, super blonde hair, amazing bodies, and who are flown in by the truckload to look good at the club. Every guy there who spoke to me told me my GF was the most beautiful woman at the club. And they were right. We hit the room about 2:15 AM and she was insatiable. It just stopped about 30 min ago.

2012 is shaping up to be great no matter what AG says.

Fake Tannebaum said...

Wow AG is a hard act to follow. But I'll try.

Went to my weekend Starbucks last night in the late afternoon to say a final happy new year to those who faithfully served me my coffee drinks so well in 2011. The normal AM staff was off, but I recognized a few fill ins for the PM shift and they were suitably impressed when I pulled out a legal brief and sat for 40 minutes and sipped and worked. As they say on Twitter #workinhardtoimpressothers.

Hit the weekend Starbucks this AM and my normal Sunday crew was nowhere to be seen. I guess even Starbucks drones get a night off to party. So I had to go into my "I'm a regular here every Sunday and I don't recognize you guys" routine. I dropped the names of the Sunday barristas and counter staff and got a rise out of a pretty latina lass who got me my croissant. No response from the barrista who failed to give me an extra squirt of no-sugar vanilla in my drink even through I waived a dollar bill as a tip. Oh well, stuffed the buck back in my pocket, told the cute girl to keep the change and left. You can't always make an impression at Starbucks, especially on New Years Day.

Due to the # of positive responses, I'm thinking of taking this act on Twitter. Who's up for a "FakeTannebaum" tweet or two every day?

Anonymous said...

AG-- "So stop the fake "ooohhhh 2012 is going to be the best year ever!" squealing. News flash: It's not."

-let me guess- you're a part time psychic? Give it a rest, ok? Some of us have plenty to look forward to in 2012 and oh yea-- IT WILL BE THE BEST YEAR EVER!!!

Anonymous said...

Well golly don’t I feel like a fool wasting time wishing colleagues and friends a happy new year. Too bad AG did not inform us 2012 will not be a good year a little earlier.

What is your prediction for 2013? Are the mayans correct?

Angry Gurl said...

Let me tell you who squeals that the new year will be the best ever: downtrodden workers not making it on minimum wage who have been fed a line of propaganda by the ruling class that justs needs the peon worker to buy into another year of slaving away for money that they can't survive on. Because instead of giving them more money they give them foolish hope. You have no way of knowing this year will be the best ever. But I do know this: you are one of the saps who has bought a bill of goods that you can't collect on. Good luck to you. You will need it. Fool.

Real fake former judge said...

1) sign me up for Fake Tannebaum twitter. 2) Game set march AG.

Anonymous said...

Wow AG is a commie. Who knew? Know what I love? Getting a commie/hippie girl up to my Williams Island Penthouse Condo and spanking them until they squeal with pleasure that Im their daddy. Then I make them say "i love money" over and over agin as I'm doing you know what.

Anonymous said...

This blog has seriously gone downhill. Hopefully a good courthouse scandal comes our way, gives us something interesting to discuss.

Anonymous said...

When can the first Shumie Time be called in 2012? Ia there some sort or a prize?

Shumie Time Ref said...

The first ST of 2012 can be called on Tuesday January 3, 2012 sometime after 2:56 pm. Miami time. Consult your local ST guides for local sunset times, subtract the appropriate time and you arrive at the Earliest Possible Shumie Time EPST.

Anonymous said...

Out last night on the beach.

Why do lesbians all seem to want to look like Justin Beiber?

Rumpole said...

Just a point of clarification: when you say the blog has gone downhill are you referring to the post I wrote or the comments of today? If it is the post to which you refer, I suggest to you that it was an entirely appropriate post for the last day of the year. If it was the coments to which you refer, I suggest you withdraw or amend your comment as "this blog" refers to me and what I write and not the comments of the readers, some of which are interesting, some of which are inane.

Anonymous said...

Good point rump. Ps. The blog is already 100%!better without those stooges FB and RFB.

Fake Tannebaum said...

I'm proud to announce I've chosen the keynote speaker for the Gary Indiana Bar's February Breakfast Pancake Social. The Gary Indiana Bar is the 9th largest monthly bar meeting in all of Indiana. My keynote address for this singular honor will be "What Social Media Cannot Do For You" . For those of you who read my columns, you know that I am the foremost national critic aganst SM. it cannot mKe you rich or famous or get you clients or make you as good a lawyer as I am. All it can do is make SM hacks rich. And I'm against that.

Fake Tannebaum said...

That should read "I've been chosen..."

damn Facebook makes posting to this blog such a chore.

Fake jay white said...

The last game of the season
But the first game of the year
The fins take on the hated jets
We have nothing to fear

The jets are known chokers
Rex ryan will wear a frown
As time after time the crowd will shout
That's another Miami Dolphins FIRST DOWN!!

Anonymous said...

Fake Tannebaum, you da fake man!

Fake Tannebaum said...

Thank you my dear fellow. You wouldn't by chance know the best Starbucks in Gary, Indiana?