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Sunday, December 18, 2011

HOLDAY CHEER

A different take on law firm holiday parties from the popular if not avuncular
ANGRY GURL:
(who sent this comment in on the previous post)

Anonymous Angry Gurl said...

So the firm I am of counsel with had their holiday party at the Epic. In these tough economic times I am certain they spent enough money to pay the salaries of three mid-level employees at the support staff level for a year. That's three families, six to 12 or so people who could have paid their mortgage and car loans and gotten health insurance for what these bloated buffoons blew in an orgy of gluttony in one night.

And believe me when I say gluttony. Women who are so obese that they can no longer perambulate and are forced to travel around on some electric hybrid wheel chair/scooter are sitting in line with piles of potato chips stacked on top of pasta in cream sauce and fried potatoes, friend chicken, and because they want to eat healthy, friend cauliflower and broccoli swimming in a some sweet brown sauce. And because they are so heavy that they can't walk, they have a second plate on their electric chair piled high with sweets, cakes, and of course since this is the holidays- christmas cookies.

And all the while their boss/enablers, who spend thousands every month on private gyms and personal trainers and tanning booths are standing to the side of the line smiling with their $25,000 in dental caps shinning brightly while they and their chic thin trophy wives who are 20 years younger then them encourage this herd of mooing cows to eat more and enjoy their generosity. Its like they're drug dealers getting junkies hooked for free.

Its a disgusting spectacle on so many levels, including fraud. The smiling bosses stand by and encourage their minions to have another glass of champagne. And their secretaries and clerks and their truck driving husbands wearing their only suit which stopped fitting them three years ago, are suitably impressed because the bottle says Moet, and they think they are drinking a $100 glass of champagne when in fact the 1990 Louis Roederer Cristal Brut remains in the back and not available to hoi poloi. Ditto with the "caviar" which is probably fish eggs from some local mercury filled bass plucked from the muck and slime of the Everglades, while the stuff from Russia is kept securely in the partner's dinning room.

And on and on it goes. The fraud, the food, the gluttony, the smiling bosses. I could only take an hour or so and I left sick to my stomach.

Saturday, December 17, 2011 9:16:00 PM


And then we received this comment in response:


Anonymous Anonymous said...

AG,

Finally a post I can agree with. If you wish to see gluttony at its best, go to Disney World. Every 10th person is sitting in a motorized chair, eating a turkey leg, drinking a diet soda, eating ice cream, etc. It is even more disgusting to witness this spectacle when it is blistering hot out.

I have absolutely no issue with people eating themselves to death, but I do have a problem paying for it with higher insurance rates.

Sunday, December 18, 2011 7:38:00 AM


Rumpole says: ignoring for a minute her unique view of current life in Miami, AG raises a serious issue: people are out of work. They are scrapping by on unemployment cheques. They have no health insurance and sometimes they go hungry so their children can eat and sometimes even that doesn't happen. Should law firms or any big corporation be spending 50 thousand dollars on a year end party?

The answer is that it doesn't really matter. It's not the 50K that will save society. It's the trillion dollars of national treasury and thousands of lives ended because of wars started on faulty intelligence that put us in the desperate position we are in today. Today the last troops left Iraq. Nine years late Saddam Hussein is gone. Was it worth it?

Ask the Iraq war vet who can't feed his kids if it was worth it. It's not AG's office party that's the problem. It was Bush and Cheney and Rumsfeld's party that caused the problem.

See You In Court.


22 comments:

Anonymous said...

When you say avuncular I can't help thinking of the late great Judge Arthur ArTEEboy Snyder who put the A in avuncular. And when I think of Snyder I think of the Mishkin incident.

In the 80's Mishkin had a drug case and the state had some feds who didn't show for depo because they never showed until ten months of litigation. Mishkin filed a rule to show cause and Snyder being Snyder grumbled to the state they had a day to bring them in or no state witness could testify. Mishkin being Mishkin waited a day and then sent Snyder an order excluding all state witnesses. Snyder being Snyder didn't read orders, he just signed them and Mishkin picked it up. And he ordered the transcript. A few months passed and a new ASA took over the case and Mishkin quietly rejected all plea offers. Snyder called down a jury. Mishkin made a grand gesture of telling the Judge to save time he waived voire dire. The state picked the jury and gave an opening. Mishkin quietly reserved his.
Snyder said "state, call your first witness." Mishkin stood up and delicately holding the order by its corner objected. Snyder asked why. Mishkin waived the order and slipped a copy to the state and the clerk and sat down smugly.

The case was resolved in chambers to a wh cc on a simple possession.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the Disney World comment.

I was there a week ago with the family and I was disgusted. Tons of healthy people in motorized scooters, fatter than you could possibly imagine. Turkey legs, sodas, ice cream, chili dogs. We are literally eating ourselves to death.

And the kids? Kids as young as 3 and 4 morbidly obese, with their parents who must be over 500 pounds combined. Human beings were not designed to be this large.

And while the economy continues to falter and we get fatter and lazier, the Chinese are getting stronger, smarter, and leaner.

D.S. said...

As I predicted, Two months ago, here in the Blog:
The New Republican Conservatives renew their attacks on the courts and the Lawyer Class.
Michelle Bachmann concerning removing Judges for declaring laws invalid, this morn on Meet the Press and
Newt Gingrich’s assault on ‘activist judges’
http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/newt-gingrichs-assault-on-activist-judges-draws-criticism-even-from-right/2011/12/17/gIQAoYa80O_story.html?hpid=z1

DS

Anonymous ASA said...

Every time I read an Angry Gurl post I just think back to this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDthMGtZKa4

Rumpole said...

AG has her take on obesity and I have mine. Start with soda. I see those people too heavy to walk in scooters. And usually I see them with an enormous cup of soda. They don't even give their body the fresh clean water it needs to help flush itself out. And if you try and have a discussion with them half of them say its ok because its diet soda. These are the same people ordering two big macs and supersize fries but its ok because its diet coke. All the latest data shows that diet soda makes you fatter.

So for those people who come to me for counsel, and the record is I have helped several people get into shape, the first thing we do is stop the soda and start drinking water. That's all I ask those who want help to do the first two weeks. And if it has been diet soda then there is a withdrawal. Headaches, break outs, depression, and then suddenly the skin clears, their sleep gets better and without doing anything else they are shocked to find they have lost 5-10 pounds just by stopping soda and drinking fresh clean cool water.

The water flushes out the poisons and the body, which is desperately trying to return to a natural healthy state all on its own, begins to heal.

Try it and see.

fake shumie said...

Just as long as I can have my cigars.

Anonymous said...

Other than the fact that it might cause an increase in my insurance rates, if people wanna eat themselves to death, or do other stupid things, I say let them.
It's not my job to monitor their crappy food intake.
Darwin: Survival of the fittest.
At some point they'll end up gone and those of us who are healthy (and AGurl does not sound healthy) will live nice happy lives.
Although it seems the dumb fat ones are the ones who procreate the most.

Angry Gurl Basher said...

Was Angry Gurl's post a good one? I only made it throught the first five sentences. C'mon AG, your rant is getting booooring.

Here's your next post.

I ate six unsalted almonds for dinner. The idiot in line in front of me has a big gut and is eating a Big Mac. I ran three marathons this weekend to burn off the almonds I ate last week. I chew organic chewing gum. For New Years I will toast by having an ice cube and one blade of saffron infused wheatgrass with a splash of balsamic vinegar. Then to avoid the traffic on South Beach, I'll run in high heels back to my Brickell condo and puke up the ice cube to keep my figure, which now makes me look like a woman from Darfur. Then I'll stare out the window and wonder why no man will ever put up with me for more than two booty calls and then retire to the bedroom and wear down the batteries in the "back massager."

C'mon AG, reply if you have the guts.

I know better than you said...

You are right.  Why should we pay more to support a fat lifestyle?

Some of the other things I am tired of paying for:

Tobacco use- if you have had a cigar, cigarette, or dipped in the past 5 years, you are costing me money.  Cut it out.

Red Meat- all you fans of Prime, Morton's, or even the Outback are killing yourselves by choking your arteries.  And I am sick of footing the bill.  No more.

Meat, poultry, fish eaters- cholesterol, mercury, steroids, fillers, sodium.  You may as well jump in front of a bus, and ask me to pay your hospital bill.  Cut it out you selfish bastards.  

Alcohol- probably the most costly item to society, hands down.  Causes of death, liver problems, social decay, crime.   All you enophiles have had your last sip.  You people who complained about hearing others talking about a wine with good legs never have to hear it again.  When I rule the world, no more alchohol.

Horsepower-  I used to own a 1969 Mustang Mach 1.  It has a small block 8 rated at 290 hp.  Now, Mustangs start with more hp from a six.  The 8 is 414.  Family sedans regularly top 300 hp.  You power addicts are sucking up resources, polluting unnecessarily, and driving up auto insurance rates.  In the new world order, all vehicles will be GPS linked, electric, computerized so that the overlords can determine if your trip is necessary for the collective.

I, for one welcome our new leaders.  The human race needs babysitting to save ourselves from ourselves.  

Eliminating fat people, then those with high blood pressure, then other consumption based shortcomings will be the first step in improving the human race.

Btw- 7:38 and AG are two totally different types of douchebags.  AG just hates anything that offends his sensibilities.  7:38 is intolerant of everyone's vices but his own.

Bribery works for me said...

The war in Iraq apparently cost us $800 bIllion dollars.

I can help but wonder what would have happened if instead of invading, we had given Saddam $100 billion with a promise of $100 billion more 5 years later if he gets his country in line?

The Fed could then redistribute $100 billion to tax paying Americans through no interest and low interest loans and mortgage restructuring and tax cuts. Another $100 billion to education.

Spend half, get more, and 4,500 less dead Americans.

I wonder if we would then be better off?

Anonymous said...

Let's see: wasn't it the pressure by Congress and the Clinton White House, who with the best of intentions, wanted everyone to own their own home so they pressured Freddie and Fannie to accept 95-100% financing of homes that led to the runaway housing pricing, the feast of financial gluttony as folks took out their "equity" out of their homes so that they could make a killing in the real estate market, followed by the market collapse, and mortgage defaults?
The war in Iraq cost $950 billion, which ironically does create jobs. Meanwhile, the Hero of the Pinko Left, President Obama, is trying every trick he can think of to put some money in the pockets of the dwindling number of folks who will vote for him. Since you are no longer a PD, I wonder if you declare all of the cash fees that you receive on your income tax return? Maybe what we should do is just tax 100 percent of all income above $100,000. After all, who should make more than that anyway? Presuambly, the greedy-ass capitalists who work so hard, would be just as happy to work their asses off so that philospher kings could continue to work 9 to 5, except for the few hours each day that they devote to internet surfing while on the employer's time.

Why can't you limit your philsophophizing crap to the criminal justice system. The rest makes even the football stuff tolerable. Angry Boy

Boston Rob said...

Well the bloom is off the rose and the emperor has no clothes, and lil timmy tebow can toddle home to his mommy and cry that the big bad patriots didn't let him play with his bally and made him cry.

Poor lil timmy boy boo hoo hoo. don't worry timmy baby you can have a bottie and your blankie and mommy will read you a bed time story.

Pathetic quarterback fraud. People in the know in Denver know that he's not even the third best QB on his team and but for his draft status and contract he was clearly beaten out by the now third string QB.

Now maybe all this stupid tebow crap will let up and we can get back to football.

Anonymous said...

Angry Gurl is angry, but not angry enough to have some backbone and tell the partners at her firm about her gripes. Not angry enough to have some integrity and quit her cushy job and not be a part of the problem.

Angry Gurl is angry, but when push comes to shove, Angry Gurl is no better than anyone else, except she watches what she eats. Angry Gurl is angry, but she is no dummy. Angry Gurl knows on which side her bread is buttered. Even if she won't let herself taste it.

Anonymous said...

Arthur Snyder was far from great! I know personally that he was not a nice man and did not treat women with respect and honor. There are many stories of activities off the bench that would make you cringe. I never say anything bad about anyone ... So you know I must have good cause.

Anonymous said...

Angury Gu(y}rl's weekly rant about people eating and the obesity problem in this country is getting boring and tiring.

Anonymous said...

umm.. did Angry Gurl just reveal her identity?

CAPTAIN said...

Toast a 39th year to the 72 Dolphins.

Thank you to:

1984 - the Steelers

1985 - the Dolphins

2007 - the Giants

2011 - the Chiefs

Did I forget anyone since 1972 ?

Cap Out

Anonymous said...

angry girl is a tool; angry boy is a jackass. how do you attract them rump?

Anonymous said...

The $50k christmas party put catering companies, chefs, waiters, bottlers, and others to work. It lubricated the economy.

Had the law firm chosen to hire someone they didn't need instead of throwing the xmas party, it would not have made a great deal of economic difference.

Bevis said...

He said "tool". Huh, uh huh huh.

Anonymous said...

Notice how AG never talks about practicing law on a legal blog?

Marie said...

Everyone can stop having sex, too, except straight married sex. 'Cause I don't want higher premiums due to your STDs, unintended pregnancies, cervical and various other cancers, AIDS, and etc.

And no more high adventure sports! I don't want to pay higher premiums just 'cause you want to skydive.

No suntans. Period. Everyone is to wear sun hats when outside, or pay a fine.

Oh yeah, this is going to get FUN.