WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. THIS BLOG HAS BEEN CALLED "THE DEFINITIVE BLOG ON MIAMI CRIMINAL LAW" BY THE NY TIMES, THE WASHINGTON POST, THE POPE, AND DONALD TRUMP WHO ALSO ONCE SAID IT WAS "REALLY GREAT". POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM

Friday, February 04, 2011

INVESTITURE OF SAMANTHA RUIZ COHEN

Judge Ruiz-Cohen has her well earned investiture today at the Civil Courthouse at 12:15 and we give thanks again for her ridding our county of ....well, it's better left unsaid at this point.

What left nothing unsaid was the remarkable "Practice Order" by a sesquipedalian author/robe wearer. We will try and post it next week. The author fails miserably in his attempt to present the order as a coruscant cynosure of proper pre-trial practice. We are left only with a feeble gasconading conglomeration of egomaniacal pablum, remarkable only for its ignorance of the stress and workload of the average prosecutor or assistance public defender.

You see, using big words doesn't make you smart, it just makes your attempt to look smart stupid.

Not that we know anything, but it seems to us the new judges who become good judges make as little a splash as possible when arriving for work for their first few years.

On the other hand, your first motion for a continuance can be made ore tenus, and how nice is that?

Super Bowl this Sunday. As always we have the coin toss all locked up (3-1 last 4 years) as well as your winner. We're not ready to reveal anything yet, except 52nd Street Irwin called us with this tip late Sunday night two weeks ago right after the Steelers won and the first line was set: for about 30 years until his retirement a few years ago, there was one guy who set the initial line on most big games that the books usually followed until they had to adjust it based on the bets they took in. A few minutes after the Steelers won he set the line at Pittsburgh -2. A few minutes later the first Vegas books had the line at Packers -2. What does this tell you? That the public was misreading the game, as the line is always a reflection of the public and not a bookmaker's belief as to who will win the game. Do with that what you will.

Enjoy the weekend. Our last Sunday football post coming up.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

The blog is so 80's, old school, the in thing is Facebook. Why are you not on Facebook writing to the masses? Almost every robed reader is on Facebook and they write away, I can click like or dislike on post, comments and such.

It seems you have crawled under the rock of history. Will Rumpole open a Facebook account or become a distant memory of the REGB readers.

Hint, DOM is on Facebook blogging away.

Hot sexy PD intern said...

Rump, baby, I love how you use those big and smart words. Let's do a Superbowl party just for the two of us!

Anonymous said...

who did Ruiz beat?

Anonymous said...

Kosher Meatball is gone! Hooray! Take down the link already!

Anonymous said...

The funeral services for the death of JBB "The Justice Building Blog" will be held Saturday, those who have watched the rise and fall of the blog are asked to not send flowers and to simply donate to your favorite charity.

Rest in Peace.

Rumpole said...

I'm pretty sure I have a facebook account. I'll have to check, but know this- I have made more money in my life by doing the EXACT OPPOSITE of the crowds, that going on Facebook because everyone else is - is just something that does not appeal to me.

Hot Sexy- I'm not in town. Can you travel?

And for the above- the rumors of our death are greatly exaggerated. But I'm curious, what made you think we were even ill?

mikal said...

Rump, don't hate the haters: they just don't know how to play the game.

Anonymous said...

Facebook is an invitation to privacy violations and identity theft. I don't even have an account despite many people telling me that it'll get me clients.

Anonymous said...

I hate Facebook. I can't stand all these business now that are on Facebook. Why do I hve to connect to Toyota or Dial soap on Facebook??? Why can't I go to their website if I need something?
I can't wait til Facebook chnages something or does soemthing to cash out and it screw over all the stupid people who are mistaking Facebook for the internet.

eyeonduis said...

Blecher gets a nod for DUI atty of the month as well as the aging vet Jim Best.

Anonymous said...

Wrong about the Kosher Meatball - it is back up:

http://koshermeatballlawblog.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...

1:04:00 PM, so sad, who will give the eulogy? Slom, Phil R, De La Over, Catalano, Tannabaum...

R.I.P.

CAPTAIN said...

THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:

ELECTION RESULTS .....

Ruiz Cohen 70%
Peter Adrien 30%

Cap Out ....

Anonymous said...

Facebook is a convenient way to locate the people around you. The wall allows you to see the communication going on with your friends and it saves time if you are interested in seeing who someone has been taking to.

Blogger is a way to express and discuss topics without the pen and the pad and allows others to post their opinions etc. on the topic you have written about.

Kudos to the blog you run Rumpy

Mr. Justice Milton HIrsch said...

This cause, having come on the be heard by the court sua sponte and via usufruct, it is hereby ORDERED AND ADJUDGED

1) The court finds that there is widespread confusion over the court's prior pre-trial order (PTO2011-1).
2) The court finds further explanation is needed.
3) Communication with the court: Nothing, and I mean nothing is more disrespectful than addressing the court in English when Latin is available. For all future communications, Latin is the preferred language.
4) It is preferred to address the court as "Your Lordship". It is allowable to address the court as "your most high honor". It is an insult of unspeakable dimensions to address the court as "Judge."
5) Attorneys may not file motions without first filing a "request to file a motion." In the request, the attorney shall succinctly spell out the legal basis for the motion. No less than five cases shall be cited, two cases may be of federal jurisdiction or of a court of another state at the level of that State's Supreme Court.
6) Further orders of the court shall be available on the court's personal website. Attorneys are STRONGLY ENCOURAGED to daily check the website for updates to existing orders. The address is www imadofusbutucantshutmeup dot com/

DONE AND ORDERED BY HIS MOST REVERENT LORDSHIP, THE RIGHT AN HONOURABLE JUDGE MILTON HIRSCH.

Mr. Justice Milton HIrsch said...

Addendum to Order modifying Pre-trial Order PTO2011-1:

1) ALL MOTIONS SHALL BE TYPEWRITTEN.
2) MOTIONS PRINTED OR GENERATED FROM A COMPUTER SHALL NOT, REPEAT, SHALL NOT, BE ACCEPTED.

3) Nothing, and I repeat, nothing is more insulting to the dignity of this court than being the recipient of some re-hashed, boilerplate motion taken off a computer and cut and pasted. To provide this court with such a motion it akin to saying to this right and honourable High Court Judge that "I have this motion and I have used it in dozens of cases and I am too lazy to write a real motion so I am just recycling this motion on you."

Such sentiments cannot be tolerated. Therefore, by this court insisting that all motions be typewritten, this court is ensuring that all motions filed with this court are original in genesis and nature.

DONE AND ORDERED, IN CHAMBERS, EN BROCHE, EN PAPIER, EN PASSANT.

THE RIGHT AND HONORABLE MR. JUSTICE MILTON HIRSCH.

Anonymous said...

It is hereby ORDERED AND ADJUDGED that the Right Honourable Mr. Chief Justice His Majesty Milton Hirsch I (and THE only one) shall henceforth be addressed in open court as YO MODAFO-KING HONOUR to further enhance his royal distinction as the only judge in Miami-Dade County with a Ph.D. in kingship and monarchic government.

Anonymous said...

No, wrong, the real DUI winners this week were:

Hersch not guilty 37 minute verdict in Palm Beach.

Big winner, Catalano, 3 minute not guilty verdict in Broward and he had a reading of .12.

So, when you drink and drive, "What's in your wallet?"

FACDL list serve leaker said...

Rump wrote:

>> Wednesday, Feb. 23, "Lunch with the Judges" invites 12 members to join Judges Monica Gordo and Jorge Rodriguez Chomat newly elected to the Circuit Criminal Bench. Lunch begins at noon at The River on Brickell. Cost is $20/person. <<

Golly, thanks.

Yes, please. Be sure to tell me of EVERY chance to spend $20 to listen to this spoiled kid and this fellow who has used his long career to contribute -- um -- well -- a nifty fistfight on the floor of the House.

Anonymous said...

Even though I did not vote for our new Governor and, in fact, did everything I could to help the lame Democratic candidate beat him, the one good thing I thought I could hope for from Mr. "we're open for business" was lower taxes and fewer government regulations on my own small business. But today, in my first contact with the new government, I received a new "unemployment tax assessment notice for interest on federal advances." It kind of reminds me of old Bob Martinez who started his (single) term by instituting a huge new state sales tax on all kinds of businesses (including lawyers). Way to go Governor Scott. "Let's get to work!" We all knew you were a hypocrite (taking all that government money while opposing government-funded healthcare) but now you have confirmed it.

Anonymous said...

In addition to assuring that nothing si printed taht does not pass by your far left ethical screen, you might think about not posting this tripe about Judge Hirsch. It is childish and makes you look childish because you choose to print it.
The boring football crap and the gambling indusry that it supports is better than that.

Anonymous said...

The Milton Orders are classic. Milton became a judge because he could not make it anymore in private practice. that's the irony. He should be humble considering..

Anonymous said...

I think you should post Hirsh's memo.

Anonymous said...

Someone please post Hirsch's order - dying to read a copy.

Anonymous said...

The issue regarding Judge Hirsch is how good a judge he is. My sense is that he was quite successful in private practice, but I would suggest that for the marginally intelligent observers such as 10:59, there are very few judges on the criminal bench who took a pay cut to be a judge. I bet that therer are not five of them on the criminal bench, yet we have an excellent criminal bench. The test is not how much less one makes as a judge. The test is what one does as a judge.
So, let's get back to the point. Publishing the supposedly humorous "orders" of Judge Hirsch is a demeaning exercise for the Blog and for our profession. Perhaps, the publisher might make a rule that in the future, such "funny" little pieces have to come with the author's real name. That way we could see if any bravery comes along with the humor.
Those of us who defend him cannot list names for fear of the suggestion of later favoritism. But, the cowards who cannot write past an eighth grade comedic level might try identifying themselves. Since it is all in good fun, why not?

Anonymous said...

I am all for having good judges on the bench, but look at who Hirsch associates with – those who endorsed his campaign – Congressman Alcee Hastings (was impeached and removed from office for corruption and perjury), Hialeah Mayor Julio Robaina (we all know what he is up to now – he mixed private and public business), Town of Miami Lakes Councilwoman Nancy Simon (faced charges of unethical behavior and billed her legal fees to Miami Lakes taxpayers) – all who have questionable ethics. How does the saying go “You are who you are by the company you keep.” Is that telling you something? Plus, can anyone tell me what cases Hirsch won in his career as defense attorney?

Anonymous said...

Pay cut? Hirsch became a judge just so he could collect a pension for his retirement. He was once quoted as saying that if he served two terms, he would hit the mandatory judicial retirement age at the end of his second term. He said that timing would be ideal. What is that telling you? Does he really care about the justice system or himself?

Anonymous said...

Milton is not a nice chap and apparently, thin skin

Anonymous said...

With regards to Arnie's defense -

Isn't that the criminal equivalent of the Fabre defense??

For those of you who have never seen a Civil case, look it up...