WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM

Monday, February 14, 2011

HIRSCH PRACTICE ORDER

UPDATE: The comments on this issue are fascinating as lawyers from around the state weigh in on the sesquipedalian Judge on the third floor. However, one comment really stands out and we readily admit we missed this angle:

Anonymous said...

Memo to Judge Hirsch - thanks for insulting all of the wonderful, intelligent, hard-working law clerks in your Memorandum. Despite what you think law clerks are often times just as bright and knowledgeable on the law as a lot of our Judges. Maybe not you - oh Judge of great wisdom and intellect
- but for sure a lot of these 10 year lawyer Judges out there.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011 8:38:00 PM


Here we go. The much discussed, (in)famous Judge Hirsch Practice order.


A few thoughts:

The order is dated January 4, 2011, the first working day of his term.
One could say it shows that he started his term prepared. Others could say that he issued an edict without even seeing how the courtroom was running, considering he had to spend the first week at Judges camp in Tampa.

The order starts off a little demeaning with "Attorneys may not calendar motions."
Nothing like a good negative shot across the bow to get off on the wring foot.

And then we get to the now infamous "Nothing" clause which we repeat in its epically pompous entirety:

"There is nothing- absolutely nothing- so unprofessional as handing a judge a reported opinion in support of a motion. A lawyer who attempts to hand a judge a reported opinion in lieu of a memorandum of law is saying to the judge in unmistakeable terms: 'Neither my reputation nor the outcome of this case matters enough to me to prompt me to litigate in a lawyerly fashion. And I have so little respect for you Judge, that I'm treating you as my law clerk. Here, take these cases and read them, and figure our how, if at all, they apply to my motion."

(Having typed that clause from the order, pardon us a moment while we go take a shower.)

OK, we're back. Where to begin? Where to begin? Well, since we now have the absolute limits of disrespect for his court (handing a case to him to read without a memorandum of law) we guess showing up in shorts and t-shirt with a beer and a Marlins cap to argue a motion is not as disrespectful to his court as having the audacity of handing him a case. So now you know just how far you can go.

Hirsch: Counsel, look how you're dressed!
Lawyer: But yeah dude, but I gave you a memorandum of law like and dude I don't have no cases to be handing you.
This scenario is apparently not as bad and less disrespectful then after prepping for a motion and discovering a new case, copying the case and handing it to the Judge as the latest case law on point sans new memo.

But lets really get to the problems. First- what if you write a detailed memorandum of law and find a new case? Do you need a supplemental memorandum of law? No one knows. There is no precedent. Second- what will the Judge do if you hand him the perfect case on point? Not read it and make a wrong decision? Fine you? Storm off the bench morally insulted beyond the bounds of human endurance? No one knows.

But the real problem is the inherent misconception that attorneys (read PDs and Regional Counsel attorneys) who have case loads of 80-200 are going out of their way to insult him when they plow through their cases, find issues of law, and file motions that aren't appropriately supported by memorandum of law. Furthermore, consider the PD, having worked on Sunday to go through the upcoming trials a few weeks away, and having prepared a dozen or so motions, then finds himself or herself in trial during their trial week. With the pending motion set for Friday (as the order mandates) the PD struggles home at 8pm, tries to deal with family, prepares a closing argument for the next day, and oh yeah- does some last minute research for the motion and lo and behold finds a new case! Uhho. Now what do they do? Stay up another hour banging out a memo of law or lord forbid, just give the judge the case? Talk about your dilemmas.

And finally, surprisingly, here is the tactical maneuver that the order fails to comprehend. For a Judge who comes to the bench as an attorney who had a lot of experience trying cases and arguing motions, just how detailed do you think the best lawyers want to be when they prepare a motion? Because in this day and age, preparing a detailed motion is akin to giving the prosecution a roadmap and saying: "hey-your stupid cop went into the house and looked around before getting the warrant so I'm going to spell it out and brief it because that's what the Judge wants so make sure you pre-try your cop and he throws in one of the 4th amendment exceptions that allow him to do that, although he failed to mention any reason why he went in the house during the deposition."

The whole thing is overblown. Maybe attorneys should brief the case law in their motions. Granted in many cases this is the proper and professional way to prepare a case and certainly the Judge had the well earned reputation as a professional and thoroughly prepared advocate. And maybe the Judge might spread the word that this is the procedure he prefers. But when the Judge paints with a brush so broad that he labels the actions of every attorney who has the unmitigated gall to hand him a three page case without a memorandum of law as the absolute unbearable insult to the dignity of court (and he presumably wrote the order before he was a Judge) well, that is just too much for us to bear. And quite frankly surprising for a Judge who has stood in our shoes (defense attorneys) and is well aware of the problems of maintaining a large practice or being a PD.

To quote that legal scholar Sergeant Hulka (Warren Oates) in Stripes:
"LIGHTEN UP FRANCIS!"

If the court is not too busy reading memorandums of law, we invite a reply which we guarantee on our oath as an anonymous blogger will be published unedited and WITHOUT commentary.








82 comments:

Anonymous said...

I propose a compromise solution: Mr. Chief Justice Hirsch will accept cases and attorneys will highlight the applicable point of law in the case with a highlighter of the color of Chief Justcie Hirsch's choice. Now, Mr. Chief Justice, please reply what color highlighter do you prefer.

Anonymous said...

If the Judge is experienced and an expert in Evidence and a author n lecturer in Crm Law n Proceduce why would the Judge need more than a copy of a case in order to know what to do w/ the case law?
DS

Anonymous said...

Wow, I thought everyone was kidding.

Anonymous said...

Let's see how fast his felony courtroom clogs up. I give this a month, two at the most.

His ideas may work in federal court, but not in State court. I hope he proves me wrong.

Anonymous said...

"Housekeeping" I've looked and cannot find any Rule that defines "Housekeeping". What Florida law will guide me or better yet what Florida Rule of Criminal Procedure will tell me exactly how to handle "Housekeeping". Do I need to bring a vacuum, what about the brand "dirt Devil", "Eureka".

Anonymous said...

but let's not talk about how he's putting an end to the "standards" that the State refers to when they hand you that motion in limine with 165 things right before trial tat basicaly say, "follow the rules"

South Florida Lawyers said...

I like the way he works "sedulous" into a sentence.

Anonymous said...

Very impressed. Most judges take about a year to forget what private practice was like.

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
thanks for that funny column RUMP, I actually need to quote you directly here:

"Furthermore, consider the PD, having worked on Sunday (if by work you mean hung over) to go through the upcoming trials a few weeks away (right....so much preparation goes into that provocative open "blah blah blah, wrongfully arrested blah blah blah"), and having prepared a dozen or so motions (seriously, RUMP, kick the crack), then finds himself or herself in trial during their trial week. With the pending motion set for Friday (as the order mandates) the PD struggles home at 8pm (having been at Montys since 3), tries to deal with family (paternity tests), prepares a closing argument for the next day ("I have seen some shit in my day, I have practiced for 2 years and this GUY IS INNOCENT!), and oh yeah- does some last minute research for the motion and lo and behold finds a new case (I know, I hate realizing that the SCOTUS has a case on point about searches)! Uhho. Now what do they do? Stay up another hour banging (probably accurate) out a memo of law (not accurate) or lord forbid, just give the judge the case? Talk about your dilemmas. "

If there was not confirmation before of the agenda of this blog...WOW. Well, allow me to drop a little reality on you-

1) PDs do not work over the weekend.
2) PDs do not usually work after 4.
3) PDs are not IN COURT for weeks at a time.
4) PDs usually rely on nothing but there cunning logic and tremendous moaning to prevail on motions.
5) The only difference between the majority of the privates and the PDs is that 50/150 dollar lien....is it true then that you get what you pay for?

Stop bitching and actually work! Hirsch should be applauded for trying to raise the bar!

Anonymous said...

First a little housekeeping: In a memorandum, capitalize “Attorneys” and “Motion Practice.” In my large firm, that memo would get kicked back to the sloppy associate before the substance was even read. Also you didn’t paginate your memo. Lack of attention to the cosmetics makes it look a little unprofessional.

Speaking of professionalism, par. 3is a little overboard: “There is nothing – absolutely nothing – so unprofessional as handing a judge a reported opinion in support of a motion.”

Well, actually, this happens every day at 73 West Flagler. You go to motion calendar with 3 copies, highlighted, of the authorities cited in your motion and opposing counsel usually does the same regarding his opposition (there is nothing in the Rules requiring the filing of an opposition to the motion (unless you’re in Complex Division)). Sometimes opposing counsel is a scumbag and will sit outside motion calendar chit-chatting with you for half an hour and not give you a copy of the cases he springs on you in open court. Or sometimes he will not highlight your copy of the case but the judge's will be. Another scumbag move. Happens all the time (especially with the solo guys). I think that’s even more unprofessional than handing the Court a case. In fact, I can think of a lot more unprofessional things; he are a few: how about calling opposing counsel a pejorative term in court or in the hallway? Or filing a motion and failing to cite the seminal Supreme Court case on the topic which kills your argument? How about unilaterally short-noticing a hearing or deposition and refusing to reschedule when your opponent has a conflict? How about misrepresenting the record to the Court? How about back-dating your certificate of service. Happens all the time in Miami. But apparently this jurist is completely hung-up on handing him cases!

Anonymous said...

I'm still not clear; is this thing a joke, or was it really written by him?

Anonymous said...

To the dip who says to capitalize "Attorneys" --- why? It is not a proper noun in the sentence. Your "large firm" sounds like it needs some basic lessons in writing the English language. Dip.

CAPTAIN said...

From the DBR:

The U.S. House Appropriations Committee plans cuts of at least 17 percent in federal support for Legal Services Corp., the largest legal aid organization serving indigent clients in Florida.

LSC distributes funds to seven legal aid agencies in Florida. In South Florida, Broward and Miami-Dade counties receive most of their budgets from LSC.

Legal Services of Greater Miami, the largest agency for indigent clients in Miami-Dade and Monroe counties, receives 55 percent of its funding from the Washington-based LSC. Program director Marcia Cypen said $571,000 from the current $7.3 million annual budget is at stake.

"We were advised our grant this year would be $4 million, and now they want to take away $571,000. This is a current and retroactive cut. We already incurred the obligations. This is a crippling cut," Cypen said.

The intent of cost-cutters is to push legal aid offices back to their 2008 funding levels, she said. The agency did not receive an increase this year and is operating at last year's level.

This comes at a time when another major funding source — interest on lawyer trust accounts — is on the verge of disappearing. Since the Federal Reserve reduced interest rates to near zero, earned interest on trust accounts dropped to almost nothing. Grants have been paid from reserves, but reserves will be exhausted this year.

"We are hopeful people in Congress will understand the importance of poor people having an attorney. This is a terrible economy, and more people than ever need lawyers to defend them in foreclosure proceedings and unemployment claims," Cypen said.

Legal aid attorneys also represent seniors fighting consumer fraud, represent mothers and children on domestic violence issues and assist in landlord-tenant disputes.

"Hard choices loom as to priorities for federal spending, but let's be smart about where reductions are made," Stephen Zack, president of the American Bar Association, said in a statement. "Slashing funds that keep working class and poor people from falling into a legal and financial tailspin is not the right decision in this economy."

Anonymous said...

7:41, you are an idiot or a state attorney or both. I am a PD and many PDs work on the weekend either in the office or by taking files home. And no, they do not leave work at 4pm. Most leave at 5, some even stay later. And their closing arguments, cross examinations and directs are often done over the weekend when they can actually go through the file as opposed to countless phone calls, depositions and client interviews that occur during the normal work day.

It seems to be common among some on this blog to bash PDs, but why is it that almost every prominent litigator in our community is a graduate of the Miami Public Defender's office and not the SAO?

As for Milton Hirsch, I saw him do bond hearings and I truly like the man and believe he means well. But his ideology is going to meet reality really soon when he has the highest case load in the circuit and attorneys go into open revolt. It is not going to be pretty.

Anonymous said...

Wait until this guy gets into civil and has 50 cases on his motion calendar every day and ten special sets after that followed by jury trials in the afternoon. He is going to find out very quick that the best minds make the worst judges.

Anonymous said...

Is this guy out of his fucking mind????

Anonymous said...

Legal Aid should stop allowing their funds to be depleted by telling clients to file Domestic Violence cases in order for litigants to be represented free in their divorces and other Family related matters. Those funds those come from the grant fairy, they are our tax dollars + at work

Anonymous said...

one of rump's best entries. dont know hirsch, but he sounds like a bit of a prima donna, no?

Anonymous said...

boo hoo....state hacks, whining because a judge wants to make practrice in kangaroo court,a little more civilized. Oh! like federal court!

grow up

what really dimishes this post is your clear jealously of Milt.

Biter....

Anonymous said...

Live with it BITCHES, Long live Chief Justice Hirsch.

Rumpole said...

The order is real. Call his chambers and his ja will fax you a copy.

Anonymous said...

Tuesday, February 15, 2011 7:41:00 AM pd's don't work overtime etc... EXCUSE ME!!!!! That is a crock of BS! When I was a PD and not only me but many pds we came in on weekends, we stayed late during the week, we prepared our cases. I put long hard hours in when I was a PD and so did most of my friends. Whoever wrote that comment has no idea what she/he is talking about. I was infront of a judge who was very demanding! Much like the Hirsch order, My Judge ran his court room like a Federal Court room. That is not a complaint either because he was the most fair judge I had ever been in front of and he is smart and knows his stuff. It was very tough. I had a possibility that any case could go to trial. 19 cases set for trial and I had to ready on all of them because we never knew which one would go. I recall one afternoon at 4:45pm the judge called down a panel for a trial and then called over to the pd's office and ordered me over. In one week we tried 4 felony trials. It was one day trials. 1 continuance and you better have good cause for a 2nd and it better be in writing. I was in at least 3 trials that lasted past 10pm and in one trial we walked out of there at 11:56 pm. I put in way more that 40 hours a week. It was no surprise to see quite a number of PDs in the office over the weekend and late at night. A good friend on mine would not only arrive to the office before 8am but she also never left until after 6pm and she was always there at least every other weekend. As a former PD i take a lot of offense to that response. PD's get bad rap and that is not always the case. Yes there are some bad apples but overall we are fighters and caring individuals. The only issue was/is how overwhelmed with cases we were.
DEG

Anonymous said...

what say the defense? i'm asking for a continuance, this is the first time up and I still don't have all the discovery. can I see your motion? I didn't draft a written motion. set the case for trial, motion denied.

Anonymous said...

I just love: Tuesday, February 15, 2011 8:28:00 AM

Anonymous said...

The Hirsch [Black] Law Dictionary (2011 Edition)

PRECEDENT, n. In law, a previous decision, rule or practice which, in the absence of a definite statute, has whatever force and authority a judge may choose to give it, thereby greatly simplifying his task of doing as he pleases.

Mr. Chief Justice Hirsch

Anonymous said...

I have read the posts here ribbing this judge for quite some time, little did I know that in real-life he's as big a jerk-off as he was portrayed to be. I always thought he was a sort of self-important guy who was smart and going to make a good judge. Talk about starting off on the wrong foot. What kind of a person writes like that? I think we need to go back to the old days of the PD declaring war on specific judges and seeing them (the judges) change their tune quickety-quick. Maybe he's not such a pompous guy and this was just a misstep on his part. Only time will tell.

SOMEBODY CALL THE Q!!!! said...

Former Miami Dolphins lineman Bob Kuechenberg, one of the top players in franchise history and a starter on four Super Bowl teams, is in trouble with the law.

Kuechenberg was arrested on driving under the influence of alcohol.

The 63-year-old was charged with DUI, DUI property damage and improper passing or lane change.

Kuechenberg's white Volvo crashed into Jose Median's car on I-95.

Per the report, the former NFL player had "very bloodshot, watery, glassy" eyes and a "very red flush" face and he smelled of alcohol, failed sobriety tests by losing his balance and blew a .127 and a .122.

He's free on $2,000 bail.

This is his third DUI, but his last one was in 1995.

fake blecher said...

Jose Median- you just won Finz Tix for life my man!!!

eyeonblecher said...

check the reading on the BAL- better off with the 007 of DUI- the man with the license to kill intoxilyzer breath readings.

Rumpole said...

Hear Hear 309- PDs and ASA who are in the pits work very very hard and part of my complaint with Judge Hirsch's order is that he doesn't appear to recognize that. I can spend 10-20 hours on a motion and memorandum, but for the most part, they can't.

Anonymous said...

Milt,

Your order is fucking rediculous.
Who the fuck do you think you are?

Well, I guess you really know who you are. You are the fucking King if fucking England.

I must wonder out loud. Did you, your Royal Fucking Highness ever give a judge a controlling case right on point or did you always have so much fucking money from your fucking client that you could write memos of law on every fucking subject?

Sorry, I just had to say this.

Anonymous said...

Hey 3:09. Sounds like Phil Knight to me.

P. Nis said...

"7:41, you are an idiot or a state attorney or both. "

Brilliant!

Anonymous said...

From up North: And here I thought only Broward Judges acted this way.

Anonymous said...

I am 7:41 and I want to clarify a few things:

I am not PD/ASA/Private...I am the janitor who finds random motions in the hallway that no one can figure out and respond to them anonymously using my inherent genius and then grin and make some comment with a Boston accent.

1) It does not bode well to counter my argument regarding the lack of work by PDs by saying, and I quote "no, they do not leave work at 4pm. Most leave at 5, some even stay later." You, my PD friend are a force to be reckoned with....

2) I am soooo impressed that PDs sometimes even work on weekends. WOW. I mean, WOW. To think that they may have to work as hard as private civil attorneys is just beyond all comprehension.

3) The argument that the most prominent litigators come out of the PDs office is like saying that the most brilliant legal minds all graduated from law school....everyone has to start there..

4) Stop moaning about your work load, cases and having to actually look up a case, cite it and write a memo. BFD. Try billing 1800 hours.

10:18 I am sure you have a tremendous future as an infraction attorney, perhaps you can intern for 3:09- them speeding tickets is a bitch to fight.

Anonymous said...

This is the exact pompous horseshit that everyone expected from you Milt. At least no one can say you're not being yourself.

You'll learn to adapt to the State system. Areces had this same motion practice memo and basically no one paid any attention to it. What are you going to do, allow into evidence non-relevant prejudicial testimony in a murder case because I didn't file my motion in limine prior to the trial date. We'll see how long that lasts.

Why come in with the attitude that the courtroom is yours? Remember its not your courtroom, its the peoples courtroom. You should have at least handled a courtroom for three months before announcing this ridiculous edict.

Anonymous said...

milt was a walking rule 3 as a lawyer. he does have a nice command of the english word tho. he will have opposition next go around which will be funny

Anonymous said...

Memo to Judge Hirsch - thanks for insulting all of the wonderful, intelligent, hard-working law clerks in your Memorandum. Despite what you think law clerks are often times just as bright and knowledgeable on the law as a lot of our Judges. Maybe not you - oh Judge of great wisdom and intellect
- but for sure a lot of these 10 year lawyer Judges out there.

Anonymous said...

I am new to this blog, but all this bletcher 007 stuff is exceptionally stupid, he is a plea factory in county based on my experience....but so is gaveria...with a lot more gel

Anonymous said...

Now do you see why there are all these "Mr. Justice Hirsch" comments? Rumpole's 4:34 PM comment hits the nail on the head, but it also applies to a number of private defense attorneys as well.

Anonymous said...

This pompous ass is obviously a very stupid man.

Only a stupid man with a massive inferiority complex would attempt to elevate what goes on in state courts, ie social work, to Breakfast at Tiffanys.

Get a clue Mort. Shut the F up and push the meat through the system without clogging the tube.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Chief Justice Hirsch, do you really want to read the crap lawyers put in memoranda of law stretching and distorting precedent or would you rather go straight to the source and read the precedent itself. The memoranda of law may be fine for federal judges who have more time and resources, but you'll soon find out that your order is the functional equivalent of Miracle-Gro for your audit.

Anonymous said...

3:09 PDs are overwhelmed because they make their cases about ego rather then substance and often times attach principle where practicality belongs. Spend less time pushing for a depo on a misdemeanor DWLS. Don't focus on asking for the impossible PTI on agg batt with an electric scooter on a pregnant elderly woman who is a LEO, and more time prepping that actual important case and closing out the cases that should be resolved.

I also am putting out a suggestion that the courthouse start using bathroom attendants so that attorneys try to actually use the toilet rather then the floor...

Anonymous said...

All right. Milt the Great has the right to do with his courtroom as he wishes. DUH! HE'S THE DECIDER IN THERE. But please, someone, tell me that note is a joke. Please tell me he's not that arrogant. Oh, Wait, that's really an oximoron since the black robe equals arrogance. And why does he have to use words like "sedulous"? Where the heck he thinks he is? Yo, This is Miami. We speak in simple sentences here, like yeah, my bad, or the old nospeakeenglish. My man, lighten up and enjoy the power. everything comes to an end. Ask Peter Adrien and Flora Seff. Without that black flowing robe and the garage parking spaces, they've a little humbler.

His Most Honorable Justice Milty said...

From: His Most Honorable Judge Milton Hirsch (don't you dare spell it Hersh or, god forbid it, Hersch)
To: attorneys
Re: motion practice (addendum)
Date: Feb. 15, 2011

INTRODUCTION

It has come to my most honorable attention that some lawyers take offense to my motion practice memorandum of Jan. 4, 2011.

There is nothing - absolutely nothing - so unprofessional as lawyers questioning my most honorableness. Even handing me cases during motion practice is not so unprofessional as questioning my judgment on the as will heretofore be known "blog".

The lawyer who attempts to question my releasing a motion practice memo before I even take the bench is, well, unprofessional. THIS IS MY COURT IN CASE YOU LOWLIFE LAWYERS (who are one step above law clerks) DON'T UNDERSTAND IT!

Heretofore and forever more all those who comment on my motion practice memos, my courtroom demeanor, my quoting obscure latin phrases or the like (i.e., like ipso facto) shall be publicly flogged in front of the now to be known as Milton Hirsch Justice Building.

SO SAYETH ME.

Anonymous said...

7:41, yes, most PDs do leave work at 5pm and get there before 9.That is full time work for 42K a year and they still take work home and come in on the weekend. That is not including days when you stay later, are in trial, working up a motion, that is a generic day with no surprises. You have 1800 billable hours because you make twice that of PDs. Why should anyone, regardless of PD, ASA, Bus driver, work from 8am-10pm for 42K a year? PDs, counting the cases they take home with them, times they are in trial, jail visits, staying late on specific days, work in excess of 50 hours a week. Maybe that isn't a lot to you because you are a slave to a civil firm. But that is twice the work put in than most judges for 1/4 of the pay

THE FUTURE REVEALED said...

EXCERPT FROM "THE HISTORY OF THE JUSTICE BUILDING" By Florida Supreme Court Judge Scott Silverman, Ret. 2026 Houghton Mifflin, Publishing. ELECTRONIC ATARI POCKET READER EDITION:

CHAPTER 107: JUDGE HIRSCH, THE PRE-TRIAL ORDER AND THE BLOG


.....By July 2013 the pressure was unrelenting. The writer behind the blog kept up an unrelenting pace of front page commentary mocking Judge Hirsch and sending Hirsch into the sanctuary of his chambers, where, much like Nixon in the summer of 1974, Hirsch retreated, embattled and mocked. Yet Hirsch held on, refusing to amend or apologize for his order, and refusing to even look at cases that were proffered to him without corresponding memorandum of law.

In August of 2013 a few hundred legal clerks from around the State staged a demonstration outside the courthouse demanding that Hirsch apologize to their profession. In September 2013 the Blog set a record by having a Hirsch related item on the front page for 197 straight days.

Chief Judge of the 11th Judicial Circuit Michele Paulson-Gonzalez appeared on The Lindsey Lohan Show with co-host Rudi Guiliani on MSNBC to counter the allegations that Hirsch was being ostracized by his fellow Judges. To that end Paulson-Gonzalez cited the recent appellate opinion by Judge Jonathan Schwartz of the 3rd DCA in which the pre-trial order was specifically upheld as "the inherent right of the trial court to impose order on the attorneys who appear before it."

The crisis reached a breaking point when Hirsch finally struck back by.............

[the rest of the article cannot be printed because it would violate the rules of physics that do not allow the future to be revealed to the past in a manner in which the readers could then change the future.]

Anonymous said...

I for one applaud Judge Hirsch. For those of us enlightened souls that also practice in federal court we're used to this. In the Middle District you are required to file your Motion(s) to Suppress within Thirty (30) Days of arraignment. You would be extremely lucky to have the judge grant you even a 10 day extension on this date. The real problem lies with all the State hacks who take cases for $500.00 or $1,000.00 then take no depositions and plead the client in. God forbid they have to do any real work on a case, much less write a motion or memorandum. BUTCH UP! as the late Neil Rogers used to say. If you're going to represent a client in felony court then be prepared to do the work, otherwise go do traffic tickets. This goes for the ASA's and PD's as well. When you were in law school, you stayed up late reading and outlining and probably pulled many all nighters like most of us. Now you're lawyers, now you achieved what you strived for, so though sh*t if you have to stay up late, join the club. If you don't want to be a lawyer with all the responsibilities the career entails, then go sell cars or insurance or whatever. The profession doesn't need you.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe people were upset with the use of the word "sedulous" but had no problem with "prolix factual recitation" or, even better, "It is, however, a maxim of equity jurisdiction that equity will not enjoin that which the law already prohibits."

Anonymous said...

remind the readers why no one opposed his election

Anonymous said...

9:55
You know to the client EVERY case, esspecially Their case, is important. Liberty is on the Line, You Know...
There aint no throw away cases cause the client's freedom and future are at stake.
DS

Anonymous said...

As long as we're dumping....Milt's JA (with him in private practice forever) is as surly a crow as you'll ever meet. Good Luck with all that.

Anonymous said...

Really? Law clerks know the law better than judges who have practice 10 years? Get over yourself.

Anonymous said...

move this putz to dependency

eyeon007 said...

Let me learn you somethin about the 007 of DUIs- on any given week you can find him at a motion on a .30 in Key West, arguing a corpus issue in Jacksonville for an attorney who has brought him in, and then in the First District on a breath issue. Fridays usually finds him by noon on his yacht 'DON'T BLOW".

Y'ALL jus jealous.

Anonymous said...

FUTURE REVEALED at 10:58 in monumentally funny and innovative.

Anonymous said...

Is it just me or does the photo show that his clerk/secretary raised her LEFT had for the oath?

Anonymous said...

10:53pm: "Why should anyone, regardless of PD, ASA, Bus driver, work from 8am-10pm for 42K a year?"

As a new ASA, I worked those hours for less than $30k a year! Why? Because the hard work built my skills, and those skills now bring me an income four times what I made then.

Should ASAs and APDs be paid more? Yes. Would I do it all over again? In a heartbeat.

Anonymous said...

hey Rump - it seems that Judge Hirsch (no relation to Judd Hirsch) is GREAT for RATINGS! I have not seen this type of response and demographics since the "Judge Jeff Swarz applies for circuit court / statewide prosecutor". In fact, Uncle Milty may turn out to be the next Judge Henry Ferro! Maybe Milt should start now shopping for a time share in Ocala and then run for Attorney General against Pam Bondi? Honestly though, we need law and order Judges like Milt and less judges with zero trial experience and even less knowledge as to the Constitution. Next, Hanzman vs. Hague for the next circuit judge pick by Governor Scott. What say you David Young???

Anonymous said...

Tuesday, February 15, 2011 6:21:00 PM

SUPER BITTER.


So when was your application to the PD's office rejected?

Anonymous said...

Question: Anonymous said...
remind the readers why no one opposed his election

Wednesday, February 16, 2011 5:42:00 AM

Answer: $350,000.00 campaign war chest almost from the get go.

He will not be leaving soon.

Anonymous said...

I have lost all respect for Milt over this stupid order.

What the hell was he thinking?

Anonymous said...

I suggest that this flaming idiot be relocated to Broward County where he will fit in perfectly. I agree with the highlighter idea. It just seems like this guy is so stupid crayons would be abetter idea. Please don't send this jerk to civil. Please.

Anonymous said...

Milt:

You're smart. We get it. You actually have the potential to be a very good judge.

But stop being a putz. Please.

Anonymous said...

11:26 - another high and mighty federal wannabe huh? Bottom line last time I checked is that results matter. Clients don't care if you filed a 30 page motion and then lost. Clients want results. So you go ahead and assume that because you filed long motions and charged a lot of money that you get better results than some of us so-called State Court hacks. You federal types are mostly smoke and mirrors. Us State Court guys know how to get results with or without the writing. Us State Court guys know how to try a damn case period. If you want to be a litigator go to a firm. We're on the front lines getting ambushed and we do what we have to do to get the results.

Anonymous said...

I have already posted two comments on this thread. Looking back, I am not convinced that this is not a spoof. I do not know Hirsch. I was at a seminar once and the guy would not shut up. And he was not even a speaker! But no one can be this much of a arrogant prick to actually write something like that and expect people to take it seriously. Reminds me of someone I beat the snot out of in 5th grade for ratting me out to the teacher because I smoked a cigarette during recess.

Anonymous said...

APD's make 42!!! I am an AAG and I only make 40! Time to switch sides!

Rumpole said...

Whomever doesnt like the lawyer often referred to as "the 007 of duis" please know your vitriol will NEVER be published as I don't allow that kind of crap. But please keep writing it as I would rather know you're at your computer harmlessly tying away than out in the real world where your pathos could do some real damage.

Rumpole said...

2:38- call his chambers. The order is real. I have a copy of it. I would not allow a spoof to grow into something this large. Unless Hirsch was spoofing us all, and then the joke is on us and it would be a legendary one.

Anonymous said...

If a Circuit Court judge is actually going to require us to draft written memoranda of law, then I expect him to read them.

I'm tired of filing motions and having Judges ask me, "Counsel, could you tell me what your motion is about?" after I filed it three weeks before the hearing.

Anonymous said...

Milt, I bet you read this blog.

Get real. Who has the time to pracice federal law in state court?

Would you please show some respect for us and get rid of that memo.

By the way, a memo is not enforceable. A pretrial court order is. So, why be so informal in your memo telling us to be super formal?

Anonymous said...

who is the 007 of duis and why is anonymous being such a putz about the guy?

Anonymous said...

This is 2:38. That is what I mean. Hirsch is having the last laugh. It is almost like he said to himself: I am going to portray myself as the biggest asshole in Miami and see who falls for it.

Anonymous said...

We have all known that Milt Hirsch is pompous and arrogant. I lost all respect for him when I heard he told his former client Sean Casey to flee the country to avoid trial and then lied about it in court. Some people are doubting this memo is real because they can't believe he would write such a thing, just like some people have doubted Casey's allegations despite a lot of evidence in Casey's favor. When will people wake up and see who Hirsch really is? He should not be a judge.

Eyeonblecher said...

Blecher today
blecher tomorrow
Blecher forever!

Eyeonduis said...

All young asas are duitfully instructed:

Fear the Q
Admire the Q
Close your eyes....become the Q

But what are they told about the 007 of Duis?

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with 3:50, I also agree this guy is a self-important douche. Let's see how long this "memo" lasts. I bet he's enjoying all these posts because in his superior mind he's constantly being reminded why he has to actually write memos like these in order to instruct us lesser minds on how to interact with people like him.
I would also agree to all of these things in all state criminal courtrooms if the judges (and we'd need it in writing from the judges) would swear to read and think about the stuff we file. There is nothing worse than spending time and effort filing something which is going to benefit your case and know the judge didn't read it (and couldn't care less what it says).

Sick of Blecher and Q said...

Blechhh! Qewwwwwww@

Anonymous said...

Us state hacks can try a case on the fly from notes scribbled in the palms of our hands and win! Nothing, and I repeat, nothing is scarier than a judge who actually wants to read a long-ass memorandum of law instead of the holding of a case neatly highlighted in its source: the reported opinion.

Kissimmee Kid said...

Hey PDs,

Try raping your clients by gouging them for fees. "Try billing 1800 hours," for crap that does nothing to advance the lawsuit but does fill your pocket. Then you can be a civil lawyer.

Anonymous said...

What a pompous toolbag! Get a life Uncle Milty.

And enjoy your 1 and only term.

Anonymous said...

What did all of you expect?? Uh duh.