WELCOME TO THE OFFICIAL RICHARD E GERSTEIN JUSTICE BUILDING BLOG. THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO JUSTICE BUILDING RUMOR, HUMOR, AND A DISCUSSION ABOUT AND BETWEEN THE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND THE DEDICATED SUPPORT STAFF, CLERKS, COURT REPORTERS, AND CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS WHO LABOR IN THE WORLD OF MIAMI'S CRIMINAL JUSTICE. THIS BLOG HAS BEEN CALLED "THE DEFINITIVE BLOG ON MIAMI CRIMINAL LAW" BY THE NY TIMES, THE WASHINGTON POST, THE POPE, AND DONALD TRUMP WHO ALSO ONCE SAID IT WAS "REALLY GREAT". POST YOUR COMMENTS, OR SEND RUMPOLE A PRIVATE EMAIL AT HOWARDROARK21@GMAIL.COM

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

April 1 Confker Worm Special Edition

Today is April 1.  Has the Confiker worm hit you?

NEW 24 Hour Court to debut:
For years we have complained about the long lines in the REGJB, especially on Mondays and Tuesdays where court is closed on Monday. 

In response to our complaints, and to be filed under the heading "be careful what you wish for",  the Judges of the REGJB are set to debut the new 24 Hour Court!!!
Yes, in an order to be signed by the chief judges of country and criminal court today, there will be established a new 24 hour court open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, to handle all emergency hearings, and for those who opt for it, traffic tickets and non-DUI misdemeanors. 

The police officers who work midnight shifts have lobbied for this for years, as it would allow them to appear in court during their normal working hours. Defendants will have the choice to check a box on a ticket, traffic infraction, or promise to appear, that will authorize the clerk to set the case for arraignment, sounding, and trial, between either the hours of 6PM and midnight or for those night rangers, 12 am and 6 am. 

"The lawyers will just have to deal with it" said the spokesperson for the 11th Judicial Circuit. "The world does not revolve around them and it's time they realized that."

Query: How will you handle a case set for trial at 2am Friday morning?




FEDERAL DEATH RECOMMENDATION: 

For those of you following the trial, the Federal Jury in the West Palm Beach case involving the execution of a family of four on the Florida turnpike, has recommended death for both defendants. Judge Hurley has the case and he heads into senior status having to make a life and death decision. The Channel 7 recap is here. 

See you in court, but only between 8Am and 5Pm.

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

NEWARK, Ohio (March 31) — Authorities in Ohio say a man has been charged with drunken driving after crashing his motorized bar stool.

Bar Stool DUI: A 28-year-old Ohio man has been charged with drunken driving after crashing this lawn mower that he reconfigured with a bar stool. Police said Kile Wygle told them that he had consumed 15 beers on March 4 before he headed out on the vehicle that he said can go up to 38 mph.(Note: Please disable your pop-up blocker)

Police in Newark, 30 miles east of Columbus, say when they responded to a report of a crash with injuries on March 4, they found a man who had wrecked a bar stool powered by a deconstructed lawn mower.
Twenty-eight-year-old Kile Wygle was hospitalized for minor injuries. Police say he was charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated after he told an officer at the hospital that he had consumed 15 beers. Wygle told police his motorized bar stool can go up to 38 mph.
Wygle has pleaded not guilty and has requested a jury trial.

Anonymous said...

April Fools!
HA Ha Ha

Anonymous said...

"The police officers who work midnight shifts have lobbied for this for years, as it would allow them to appear in court during their normal working hours." Oh really? You mean there are cops out there who want to forego overtime pay and sit in a courtroom instead of writing tickets at 3 am which is what gets them into court (i.e., overtime) in the first place. Get real!

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure I won't be handling a speeding ticket at 2am while I'm sleeping with my wife and children.

Anonymous said...

Rumpole, this is a pretty bad April fools post. Not plausible at all, Stick to hacking your own blog or come up with something crazy, yet plausible.

Anonymous said...

Good one Rumpole. April fools!!!

Anonymous said...

Justice Department to dismiss indictment against former Alaska senator Ted Stevens because (what else is new) the prosecutors withheld evidence from the defense.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090401/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/stevens_justice

Anonymous said...

The world doesn't revolve around me?

I'm not going to court at 2 A.M.

Anonymous said...

the world does revolve around the lawyers and no, I wont be there either. I'll be asleep.

CAPTAIN said...

THE CAPTAIN REPORTS:

The Miami Herald reporting:

DUI manslaughter charges are expected to be filed Wednesday afternoon against Cleveland Browns wide receiver Donte' Stallworth, alleging the football player was driving drunk last month when he struck and killed a pedestrian on Miami Beach, according to a source with knowledge of the investigation.

Cap Out ...

Anonymous said...

I guess that someone at SAO figured out that if Stallworth could flash his lights, he could also have hit the brakes-except that his normal faculties were impaired.

Anonymous said...

looks like dante stallworth will be shopping for a real lawyer, now that chris "we'll take the plea" lyons is out of his league and dropped the ball.

fake blake said...

I have assigned Judge (fast) Gerry Klein to the 24 hour court-and he will handle it all in about an hour an a half.

Fake Blake out.

FAKE ALEx michaels said...

COURT AT 2AM?????

(everybody now)

DIS IS BULLLLLSHEEEEETTT!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Why the Lyons hating? Chris is a great guy and lawyer. It amazes me how many of you feel the need to bash a guy out of the blue.

You must lead sad lives.

BTDT

dui guy said...

L&L Twins plus hot associate will have to call on all their skill, guile, luck and legal loquaciousness to bail Stallworth out of this mess. It does not look good, although .12 is better than the reported .18.

Anonymous said...

People bash the L&L Twins & Hot Associate law firm because they are envious. Plain and simple.

Anonymous said...

is l and l's associate that hot?

chris and dan are both good lwayers, just alot of haters out there

Anonymous said...

this 24 hour court must be an april fools joke

Anonymous said...

Johnny Kasternakes strikes again on the turnpike murders. Abe is a great prosecutor, johnny k is even better.

Scott Saul said...

Hey 1:27 p.m.

Your a "real" pussy!

Anonymous said...

Any lawyer who didn't realize immediately that this post was a joke is required to go woek at Target, immediately.

CAPTAIN said...

The Captain Reports:

Scott & BTDT both know that any lawyer that gets any press and has any success in their careers automatically gets bashed by a few anonymous assholes on this blog.

On a separate note, current AUSA and former ASA John Kastrenakas is a finalist for a Circuit Court Judge seat in the 15th Judicial Circuit (aka Palm Beach).

Cap Out ...

CAPTAIN said...

Oh yeah, and ditto Scott on 1:27 pm - but you were being way too nice

abe laeser said...

Johnny Kastrenakes is a masterful lawyer. I agree.
A dear friend who I saw today, but far too infrequently since he became a Fed.
Yes, getting the first Federal death penalty in Florida is a coup.

Anonymous said...

"...by a few anonymous assholes on this blog"

Dear, Captain Crunch:

On behalf of all the anonymous asshole bloggers "fudge you"!

The Real Captain said...

The real captain is back!

Anonymous said...

I don't see how getting a death penalty is a "coup". Not something to be proud of. The United States needs to overcome its medieval love affair with the death penalty and come into the 21st century.