Saturday, August 25, 2007


A few alert readers emailed us this story, and we have combined the versions for our report:

Prosecutors, defense attorneys, courtroom personnel, defendants, and Judge Luise Krieger-Martin got a surprise Friday when during a routine hearing on a case, a defendant pulled out a Flare Gun as evidence. When the startled Judge asked if it was loaded, the Defendant showed her the shells.

When Judge Krieger-Martin regained her composure she inquired how the Defendant got the gun into the building. The Defendant stated that he was stopped at security, which required asked him to put the gun on top of the x-ray machine and remove his shoes, which obviously could have contained a nail clipper or small camera.

Nothing gets past our ace security staff.

Longtime and careful readers of the blog will remember that we have written about this topic before. ("Sir. yes, you with the shotgun. Please step aside, as that man has a nail clipper and a camera and we need to deal with this. Please take your gun and pass through the screening device.")

The sad truth is that these security screeners do not do a good job, and they will continue to do a bad job until a tragedy occurs, and then everyone will point fingers. Let it be said we were one of the first to say that things are not working and the security process needs to be revamped and tightened up.


Speaking of county court, Michael Catalano has a comment up under yesterday's post where he details a frightening incident with City Of Miami Beach Officer Macias sexually molesting a female defendant he arrested for DUI. Then the officer had the cojones (yiddish for "tortillas") to show up at the Driver's License Hearing and falsely testify that the Woman refused to to take a breath test. At this point in time, the State Attorneys Office and Internal Affiars had concluded enough of the investigation to know that the accusations were truthful. They later told this to the DMV hearing officer, who proceeded to.....SUSPEND THE WOMAN'S LICENSE FOR A YEAR ANYWAY.

We can't even begin to fathom the disturbed mental mindset of a bureaucrat so petty and indifferent to the world around them that they would believe a police officer over a prosecutor and an Internal Affairs Detective.

The real issue here is that this is the fourth South Florida Law Enforcement Officer arrested for sexually molesting a woman in their custody in the last year.

Can you say "disturbing trend."?

If four cases have been reported, how many other officers are getting away with this? Don't tell us you believe these were the only ones misbehaving.
Perhaps its time for our State Attorney to interrupt one of her vacations and return to her community and speak out against this problem.

That's what we'd do if we were the State Attorney. But then again, we could never tolerate a vacation for longer than a few days.

Macias was arrested this week after a year long investigation.
Chris Lyons of Lurvey-Lyons renown for the defense.

See You In Court WITHOUT a flare gun.


Anonymous said...

I have an idea (potential lead) on Rumples' identity, I think Rumple is Alberto Milian. The posts assailing KFR are giving him away! What do you all think?

cobitz take the poly said...


cobitz take the poly

Anonymous said...

I caught Alex Michael's show at the Comedy Club at the Hard Rock in Hollywood last night. He comes out with a few lame songs and then goes into a 15 minute comedy routine that has the tag line: "What is dat? dat's bulsheeet!" So after the first few times the auidence joins in. He makes riffs on the war in Iraq ("Bush declared victory like what 3000 deaths ago.. what is dat? dat is bulsheeeet"!)
the current mortgage crunch- "Two months ago my house was worth a million. Today I can't sell if for 500 thousand. what is dat? dat is bullsheeet!!"

and on and on...

just when people are getting restless he breaks into his signature "One man band Roumanian tenderloin twist" which ends the show and brings everyone to their feet.

It's worth the 30 bucks and 3 drink minimum.

Anonymous said...

Last night I was watching Americas Top Chef on Bravo with my two boys. I was shocked to see our very own Phil R as Executive Chef of the winning team. The judges were enamored with his rendition of franks n beans. His Mac n Cheese lacked depth but still managed to lift his team. His rendition of the Rainbow Ice Pop was clearly disapointing. Team Shumie was disqualified when Chef Shumie became enraged over losing an early round. Apparently, he through his all-clad cookware into the studio audience . stay tuned

take the poly cobitz said...

Take the poly
take the poly!!

take the poly cobitz
take the poly!!

the trialmaster said...

phil r is rump says the trialmaster and the trialmaster is always right.

Anonymous said...

Rumpole would you agree to an interview? Lets start off with some easy questions:

Plain or peanut?
Boxers or briefs?
PC or Mac?
Whopper or Big Mac?
Bill or Hillary?
Farina or Weatherington?
Rundle or Reno?

Pepsi or Coke?
Rum or tequilla?
Private or court appointed?

word or word perfect?
State or Federal?
Convertible or Hardtop?
Blonde or brunette?
breast, butt, or legs?
disco or rock?

That should start us off for now.
Please cooperate ol' Rumpole the great mysterious blogger.

Anonymous said...

another giveaway that Rumpole is the L & L boys. Rumpole just reveresed the name of the firm and gave Lurvey first dibbs.

It won;t work guys, you outted.

Anonymous said...

Who hires the DMV hearing officer?
Who pays 'em?
Who monitors their revocation numbers?
Who fires 'em?

Having made my point, let me raise a broader one... why do we expect non-lawyers to understand and rule upon case and statutory law?

Anonymous said...

Dear Kenny: to hurl an object - Shumie would "THROW" it.

To surprise his friends, Shumie would jump "THROUGH" a wall.

It's "throw" a pan, go "through" hell and back.

Your Friend,

I on Q said...

Anyone else see the Q in a quiet corner table at Capital Grille with A bunch of Washington lawyers and Scooter Libby tonight?

Anonymous said...

I always thought Rumpole was Alschuler, then I realised that Alschuler had enough trouble getting up in the morning and just being Alschuler.

So now add my name to the Cobitz is Rumpole gang.

Anonymous said...

I was also immediately suspicious last night when i read the post and saw Rumpole got the Lyons/Lurvey firm backwards. Say what you want, but Rumpole's pretty sharp. Then I re-read the post and Rumpy was pretty soft of the cop, focusing more blame on the DMV and the fact that there are several other cases like this one. Rumpole trashed Rundle as much as he trashed Macias.

So put me in the L&L twins are Rumpole category and take me out of I think it might be Phil category.

Rumpole said...

In all this time, no reader was smart enough to ask for an interview. You get rewarded with answers, because you my friend, think outside the box.

Big Mac

Pepsi (diet)
Rum or tequilla?- toughest question to date..give me a pass for a while.


State- but I like federal cases, just don't get too many of them.
breast...but don't discount the other attributes. I guess it sort of depends if I'm drinking Rum or Tequilla.


This was fun- thanks for asking.

Anonymous said...

Why did the defendant bring the flare gun to court? Was it to show compliance with a boating violation ticket for failure to have a flare gun?

Anonymous said...

After carefully reviewing all of the clues, all of the posts and all of the innuendo, I have reached the inescapable conclusion that.............

Phil R is Cobitz.

Rumpole said...

That is by far the most astute and innovative guess as to my identity.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, have you ever seen Phil R and Cobitz in the same room at the same time? I'm telling ya, they are one and the same.

Anonymous said...

OK. I wasn't going to say anything, but I know who Rump is.

You know how Rump keeps saying that ya'll need to think outside of the box?

Well, those of you who are familiar with Alex Michael's history should've paid some more attention to that. Alex was a political dissident.

He's smart, he's funny, he's been around a while. He handles mostly state stuff (though he dabbles in federal court) and does the occasional DUI case.

PS---he has friends type in his comments to disguise his accent. ;-)

Anonymous said...

I think some credit is due to security.

I mean, when I walk in the north entrance, past the pickel barrel and toward the escalator, it is clear to me that not a single offending belt will ever get in that building.

Anonymous said...

Rumpole is a sirring Circuit or County Court Judge. Exhbit "A" no way would other sitting Judges sign there names on a blog for what may be a hack of a lawyer (i.e. unknown background).

All the Judges who have been signing there name on this blog know who Rumpole is.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I know it's been argued (unsucessfully) before but in my opionon the DMV Hearing Officers should all be prosecuted for unauthorized practice of law.

Anonymous said...

Frank's gun will always fall apart in the heat of battle.

Not Jeff Foxworthy said...

When you have to get searched to visit your government, . . .

you might just live in a police state.

Not Jeff Foxworthy said...

When the law is so complicated that only a lawyer can understand and rule upon case and statutory law . . .

You might just live in a police state.

Rumpole said...

You accuse me of being a "sirring Judge"???? Well! I never!
How dare you? At long last, have you no decency sir?

Anonymous said...

I remember the movie "One Crazy Summer" with the guy locked in the upstairs room listening day in and day out to a radio station to try and win a contest. By the end of the summer he is going out of his mind and has accomplished nothing.

All those trying to discover the id of rumpole should watch that movie.

Anonymous said...

National Inquirer: I have an inquiring mind and I would like to know: why do so many grown men have nothing better to do than gossip like a bunch of teenage school girls, or if you prefer Michael Catalanos.

Anonymous said...

Rump- a wild and I mean wild scene on the streets of SOBE late last night, as the Q with some of the younger laywers on the Libby Appellate team hit Mansion after that dinner at Capital Grille. Meanwhile Alex Michaels and Freddy Moldovan stewed in a line outside of Mansion as Alex kept yelling "dis is bulsheeet! Don't you know who I am?" Eventually the Q interceeded and eveyone went to the VIP lounge and partied the rest of the night away.

Rumpole said...

4:55- Its easy to figure out who I am. Just figure out where I'll be:

I'll be ever'where - wherever you look. Wherever there's a fight so hungry people can eat, I'll be there. Wherever there's a cop beating up a guy, I'll be there. I'll be in the way guys yell when they're mad - an' they know supper's ready. An' when our people eat the stuff they raise, an' live in the houses they build, why, I'll be there too.


Anonymous said...



Anonymous said...

I'm a new reader - who is the Q?

Anonymous said...

Rumpole, today marks the anniversary of Pope John Paul I's ascendency to the Papacy, which lasted 33 days. What can you tell me about his death?

i on q said...

8:36, just the greatest lawyer in Miami.

old guy said...

Thanks, Tom Joad.

Unfortunately, proving that you are well read eliminates almost all of the'guesses' about your identity.

Let me see: About 55 years old to know about 'Market' cases and McDuffie in detail.

Male. Federal and State practice. Probably spent lots of time in Prosecutor or P.D. in early career. Knows too many of the characters to be an 'outside the box' person.

Erudite - and proud of it (see "EGO"), and enjoys his personal view of the world. Even believes that he is witty, to boot.

Right, Mr. Roark?

There are lots of clues for those who really care enough to think it through.

Some of the 'guesses' probably insult RUMPOLE to no end.

CAPTAIN said...



The Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

and you know where you can find me ....

"This is where they fought the battle of Gettysburg. Fifty thousand men died right here on this field, fighting the same fight that we are still fighting among ourselves today. This green field right here, painted red, bubblin' with the blood of young boys. Smoke and hot lead pouring right through their bodies. Listen to their souls, men. I killed my brother with malice in my heart. Hatred destroyed my family. You listen, and you take a lesson from the dead. If we don't come together right now on this hallowed ground, we too will be destroyed, just like they were."

CAPTAIN OUT ............

Rumpole said...

Ioannes Paulus PP. I), born Albino Luciani, had the shortest reign in Papal history. He may well have been murdered. It is said that he was not intellectually up to the task of being the Pope.

It is not generally well known that Rumpole is an expert on Popes. However, while I could write all night on Pope John Paul I, the most amazing thing is that after he was elected he commented to his private secretary that he was sitting opposite the next Pope. He also may have called him "that foreigner." After the death of Pope John Paul the I and the election of Pope John Paul II, the private secretary was named "master of ceremonies" of the Vatican and had access to the seating chart for the Papal enclave for John Paul's election. Sure enough, the two future Popes were sitting across from each other.

Anonymous said...

Will the Pope be taking court appointments under the new law?

Rumpole said...

Lets see 9:07,...ego-check- age- wrong- knows about the "market" scandal- probably a big hint for those that know what to make of it; already admitted to being male; very upset and offended by most of the guesses- true- although I laugh a lot about it other then when certain people send me lengthy angry emails.

Anonymous said...

One Crazy Summer was a very funny movie. They don't make those movies anymore.

Anonymous said...

Although you admit to being an egoist, from what I remember I don't think Howard Roark was one.