Monday, March 12, 2007


We witnessed an incident last week which has been on our minds.

Last Friday was a busy day at the REGJB. The lines out front that our favourite herald Scribe is forced to stand in along with the hoi polloi were compounded by the fact that the security screening machine in the back was broken.

There was a disturbance in the front of the building and an obviously agitated man who had already stood in line was sitting on the floor by the exit saying very loudly that he had already stood in line and was not going to do it again. It became clear that as he was leaving the building he reached the exit and perhaps stepped over the magic line and realized he needed to go back inside. Security, first in the form of a woman who could not speak the English language in any intelligible manner, barred him from re-entering. The man then- in the best traditions of those of us who lived in the sixties- staged his own sit-down and refused to move.

A larger security officer approached the man, and here’s where the system broke down.

There was no effort at communication. There was no effort at understanding this man’s frustration. There was just a threat and escalation in anger that was quickly heading towards violence.

For all we know the man staging the sit-in could have been violent or mentally ill. By our view, all it would have taken to defuse the situation is a half-way intelligent human being talking to this man for a few moments. Sympathizing with him and his plight, and perhaps agreeing to take him back through the security screening process quickly.

But our highly trained security specialists are not trained to do that. They are trained to threaten, threaten more, and then call for the police. And that’s where the system broke down. Because in our little courthouse where normally you can’t expectorate without hitting one of Miami’s finest, there were no brown or blue uniforms to be seen. The highly trained security officer used his radio, and then-we are not making this up- he put his radio down and appeared to call 911. In the Justice Building.

911: Do you have an emergency?

Security: Yes I need a police officer. A man will not leave our building.

911: Address please

Security: 1351 NW 12 th Street.

911: You're kidding right? You can't find a cop at the Justice Building?

As this was happening- an alert Metro Dade uniformed officer walked into the building. The highly trained security officer- who by the way was not being assisted by his fellow highly trained security officers- waved to the alert Metro Dade Officer- who by this time had reached the escalator. The officer- pleased to be recognized and wished a good day- responded with a big smile and wave and went on his way. All the time, the highly trained security officer was standing next to our 60’s protester- while dialing 911 for help.

If the man who was upset had been bent on causing havoc, he could have rampaged through four floors before any help would have arrived. It reminded us of the time we saw a man barge to the front of the line- go through the machine-which beeped- and then said “I’m late for court.”- and then walked into the building- while the highly trained security officer smiled at us and shrugged her shoulders and said something in Spanish.

Back to Friday: eventually a more alert Metro Dade Officer arrived and soon the front of the building was teaming with officers as if Rudy Giuliani had arrived and said he saw an airplane flying suspiciously.

The point is that we who enter the building on a regular basis know that the security people are overwhelmed. They are under trained- many do not understand English- and we are sure they are under paid.

What is it going to take to bring some order and professionalism to the security force at the REGJB?
How about tweaking the budget and employing an off-duty uniformed officer at each entrance from 8am to noon everyday to help supervise the security screening of the morning crowds?

Let’s be innovative. What does an off duty officer get? 20 bucks an hour? Sell some advertising. 80 dollars a day, $400.00 a week- and a large sign- ‘THE SECURITY AT THE BUILDING TODAY COURTESY OF THE TICKET TEAM. GOT A TRAFFIC TICKET? CALL THE LAWYERS WHO HELP KEEP YOU SAFE- 1800- WHATEVER.

It could work.

See You In Court dreaming of protests and sit-ins

PS The security screening machine is still broken at the back of the courthouse. Today when we entered the building at the rear we saw attorneys handing their briefcases to be screened. The cases were screened by the highly trained security officer glancing inside. This is a major breach of security. Someone dressed in a suit and tie with a briefcase can now bring a weapon into the building by posing as an attorney and coming in the back. Just something else to keep us awake at night.


Fake Tom Tancredo said...

Rumps, we get it, we get it. The security guards don't speak English. But gosh, ole chap, neither do 90% of the visitors to the Justice Building. WTF is your point?

Anonymous said...

English? Rump, do you need an editor?

Waived / waved

Teaming / teeming

Get it right. please.

Anonymous said...

What is it going to take to bring some order and professionalism to the security force at the REGJB?

Thank god I didn't have a hot cup of coffee in my hand when I read that.

Anonymous said...

senor por favor step to the lado

Massage Me said...

i hear that a state prosecutor is going to be round up in this mess.

Anonymous said...

The answer is very simple. Let's get a sheriff. Miami-Dade County is the only county is the state that does not have a sheriff's office. Go to any other county in the state and you will be surprised to see uniformed sheriff officers providing security and acting as bailiffs. Moreover, having an elected official that can be held accountable will cure the unprofessionalism and the ills that plague DCJ. If any of you have been to DCJ, you know what I'm talking about.

Anonymous said...

The Miami Herald and our elitist so-called "civic leaders" from the Non-Group that dominated Dade County politics back then, pushed for the elimination of the elected sheriff's position as well as those of the tax collector, property appraiser and supervisor of elections. Citing corruption concerns (Dade County has always been a corrupt county), our "civic leaders" thought it was better to eliminate the elections of the officials than to clean up corruption. Of course, doing so also conveniently increased the influence and power of the Non-Group, the Herald and their buddies in County Hall at the expense of democracy and the electorate of Dade County.

It's about time that the County Charter be amended to give the people a say at the ballot box with regards to those positions. But, first, the electoral process itself has to be cleaned up and the corruption that's so firmly entrenched in Dade County elections has to be rooted out for democracy to work as it should.

Anonymous said...

ALERT: The building manager is going to require that lawyers take off shoes and belts when the metal detector beeps, instead of the long-standing policy of having us checked by the screener with the wand. This will create delays and inconvenience, and needless extra-work for the screeners. Can the FACDL talk to Judge Blake, Judge Farina, the GSA or the building manager to stop this unnecessary measure before it's implemented? It's not only the lawyers who are upset about it, but the screeners are, too, and they are asking the lawyers for help to stop it.

50 State Security said...

cant wait to see alex michaels set off the machine.

Security Personnel (in her best creole laden accent): "OKay, you dere, come on"

Machine: (Beep)

Security Personnel: "OKay, you dere, you belt and shoos please"

Alex Michaels : "What?!?!? I dont take my shoes off for anyone except in a swimming pool. I dont take my shoes off in Japanese restaurants and I didnt take my shoes off for Ceausescu and I'll be damned if I'll take them off in this Mickey Mouse courthouse"

Security Personnel: "Sir, please...your shoos and belt"

Alex Michaels: " I am not a terrorist, though I may sound like one. I still have my Bar card, and I'm coming in...give me my briefcase..."

Security Personnel: " This is rules from Chief Judge Farina"

Alex Michaels: " I push out turds bigger than Joe Farina on a bad day. Bring him to me, I am the former ALEX MICALESCU!!!!!!"

whereupon Mr. Michaels was tasered by Ofc. Jerry Davenport.

Anonymous said...

Alex's last words?

Deees is booooooooooooosheeeet

Anonymous said...

doesn't it look like this was written by a rumpole fill-in and not rumpole himself. not his style at all.

Anonymous said...

dude, im a lawyer and a pretty mellow and laid back sort. no well in hell im walking in my socks thru the detector in that filthy building i love so much. its for "lawyer safety".

fake john mitchell said...

It looks like the vultures are finally starting to circle Torture Boy Alberto (I know the feeling well). I can't wait to see who President Brain Stem and what's left of his Brain Cells come up with to replace Senor Sock Puppet as Attorney General.

Anonymous said...

miami corrupt you must have this town mixed up with another i.e. Chicago

This blog is corrupt

Rumpole said...

402 pm- whatz yor point? That I dont rite no good english?

Actually you are quite correct. Sometimes we are in a bit of a rush, which is not an excuse when putting out a product that is red by hundreds. Of course we operate without a safety net as it were- no editor to screen our posts. Overall we have a pretty good record, but we strive for 100% writin good nuff english.

Rumpole said...

I have tried to make this as clear as possible. This past week was a bit trying health wise. Everything is ok- but I was traveling for medical reasons so I did not have enough time to devote to the blog. Hopefully I will dodge some trials in the next few weeks and get back on the ball.

Anonymous said...

I Phoned Chief Judge Farina two years ago to complain about over zealous security at branch court. The security would not permit entry of notebook computers. Farina never returned my call.

Anonymous said...



Anonymous said...

that list was good for a morning laugh, and cry

Anonymous said...

Perhaps security is stepped up for John Couey. It does not seem unreasonable to think that someone would take a shot at him.

old guy said...

NY Times story: White House gave Gonzalez list of names of US Attorneys to be sacked, after requests from congressional or political leaders.

Gonzalez testifies under oath that the firings were based upon merit, only.

Is perjury still a crime? Congress should start an impeachment investigation, while a special prosecutor should put him in prison.

Maybe the rule of law should begin to rear its majestic head once more in the Department of Justice.

Anonymous said...

Oh no. Corruption in government. The White House invading the purview of DOJ. What an F'ing surprise.

Now you will try to convince me that the moon is not made of green cheese. Do you think that we are all stupid enough to -- I guess we are.

Anonymous said...

why dont you uptight bitches relax, fire up a blunt, and chill to a lil grandmaster flash. its all good

Anonymous said...

Batman says:

9:54 - What planet are you on? First of all I doubt Maria Korvick, who is on the verge of retirement, is even going to apply. Second, this appointment goes to Chris Schuminer because "The Boys" have this in the bag already. She sat the last one out for Lagoa. Not this one.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I'd vote for Izzy so he could do less damage to our clients. Colby, Rodriguez, Silverman would damage defendant's rights about equal to Izzy. So, let's kill 2 birds with 1 stone.



Anonymous said...

Batman is Judge Mark King Leban

Anonymous said...

The line yesterday was the longest I had seen in 10 years of going to REG. Out the door to the east side of the building, then back down the front sidewalk, back to the west and almost reaching the city lot where the TV trucks were.

The security screeners there are awful. Any idiot that sat there and watches that mess in the front of the building for fifteen minutes on any given day could give recommendations on how to make it better and faster. I dont care how busy the building is, it shouldnt take someone over an hour to get into a building. What they should do is make the judges, ASAs and PDs go through the same process of getting into the building for just a week. Then you'll see change.

kenneth weisman said...

I wish to thank all of my friends in the justice building for supporting my carreer on stage. As you are all aware, I am playing the delightful C3PO in "Star Wars" the Musical. Despite what you have read, I do not call out "bring me Reizenstein". This is simply rubbish. At the end of the Second Act I shreik "Bring me Shumie". This cry for help is imbued with a measure of pathos. The Third Act begins with the song, "I lost my pants during a Jedi mind trick". This song begins and ends with righteous orations from R2D2 played by our own Jonathon Blecher with a dandyish rectitude. Yes, there is talk of Tony Awards but please no kena horas.

Anonymous said...

Reyes isn't applying!

Anonymous said...

If they make lawyers remove shoes and belts, we are going to be pissed off like you can not imagine.

The fucking constuction workers, kitchen workers, JA's, bailiffs and all kinds of shit get in without being screened.

You fucking judges expect us to pay for your fucking campaings and now you will stick your noses up in the air while I remove my fucking belt and shoes and get treated like a fucking criminal.

If that happens, the judges can fuck themselves at the next election.

One pissed off attorney. (NOT ALEX MICHAEL BUT< JUST AS CRAZY)

Anonymous said...

thank you, now please take your shoes off

Anonymous said...

It's not the judges who are requiring that attorneys remove shoes and belts. It's the building manager. The screeners are telling lawyers to protest her plan before it goes into effect. The building manager works for GSA, so the FACDL should contact GSA, the County Manager, the Mayor, Chief Judge Farina and Administrative Judge Blake to stop this nonsense. The bar card should be enough for lawyers to bypass the metal detectors, and even more so after the screeners see your face every day year after year. There just have to be some reasonableness and common sense still around the REG building.

Anonymous said...

The Bar Card will get you into the Graham building without hassles. Why not at Metro justice building?

Anonymous said...

An attorney = a criminal in a suit and tie, with a license to steal and deceive for quick cash.
Check them all and remove their underwear. I will feel safer in the Justice Building.

Anonymous said...


The NY Times.

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away, Steven Speilberg and Disney teamed up. Their first result is Star Wars-The Musical which premiered last night at the new Arthur Snyder-Alan Postman theatre in the very round on Broadway. Guys and Dolls in outer space- haven’t we seen all this before?

The cast stars Ben Vereen-miscast and uncomfortable as Darth Vader. The role was clearly made for James Earl Jones. Brandy prances across the stage as Princess Leia, Mathew Modine sulks as Luke Skywalker, and Patrick Swayzee makes a valiant effort at the role of Hans Solo. Their roles are predictable, as are their songs, although telling the now familiar star wars saga from the prospective of Darth Vader lends a new twist to a tired theme. Vader’s familiar lament- “The Dark Side ain’t all its cracked up to be” runs throughout the production, which ends in Vereen belting out the song
“Old Man Emperor, Old Man Emperor” to the tune of Old Man River.

Swayzee is an unusual sight break dancing and rapping to the “death star rap” [we got the plans for the star, but I gotta go far, that suckas gonna blow-cause I'm Hans Solo.]

However, the real stars of this show- and the reason this musical is destined to be a hit for a long time, is the interplay between Broadway veteran superstar Nathan Lane as R2D2 and newcomer Kenneth Weisman as C3PO. Lane is hysterical as he runs all over the stage beeping and bumping, playing the straight man (droid) to the equally funny Weisman. Weisman has perfected the robotic movements as he twitches, turns, and tap dances (yes C3PO tap dances) all the while moaning that “this will be the end of us” and “we’re destined to be sent to the spice mines of kessel.”

Weisman, whose only other known role was in the one man play directed by Robert Altman “I’m more special than you.”, is more than an adequate match for Lane as the veteran straight man. Act I ends with Weisman and Lane –reunited after going their separate ways in the desert- singing the Sonny and Cher classic “I got you Babe”.

In the end, despite the chemistry of the old star and the new star, Star Wars –The Musical fails in it’s mission- to give the audience a sympathetic view of Darth Vader. Special effects include the shredding of Skywalker’s arm in the penultimate duel with Vader, and the background explosion of the death star in the climatic battle scene. Vader moans “I’ve failed the Emperor, the dark side really ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.” while Weisman whispers to Lane in the corner of the stage “he’s really angry now. We’re liable to be melted down for spare parts. Oh why did master Luke have to blow up the death star?”

Audiences leave with a similar complaint- oh why did master Spielberg have to bring us this musical?

Rumpole said...

not on my blog

Rumpole said...

I just removed a nasty post. Went a bit too far.

jimmy the greek said...

I have two new sweepstakes questions:
(1) over under on Torture Boy Alberto's resignation? I have next Friday, March 23, 2007--after the brain stem returns from his latest embarassing overseas trip, another weekend news cycle, and the Democrats have had enough time to squeeze every drop of political capital out of the latest scandal; and
(2) has there ever been a bigger U.S. Attorney General political hack than Torture Boy and, if so, who was it?

Anonymous said...

Lowest bidder doesn't always get you the highest quality worker.

In fact, I think that is quite an underestimate. Lowest bidder usually gets you lower quality.

Scott Africa

fake john mitchell said...

Well Jimmy, I was not exactly a paragon of objective law enforcement during my time as A.G., and there were certainly others like me (Edwin Meese and A. Mitchell Palmer to name two), but Gonzalez's main problem is his obvious incompetence and in-over-his-head attitude. He has been G.W.'s do-boy for the last 15 years and has set back the reputation of Hispanic attorneys for a long time. If you want to name an Attorney General who was at the complete beck and call of the President, however, there is only one candidate, and his name was Bobby Kennedy. Does anybody seriously think that Bobby did anything at DoJ that did not have his brother's complete approval?

Anonymous said...

Judge Lawrence King says that lawyers are not special and should remove belts and shoes.


With regard to the appeals court nominees from the JNC for Fletcher's seat, i think that Silverman, Korvick, Reyes and Colby have been nominated before.

I don't think that Judge Jose Rodriguez even got an interview last time. Who is Hanzman?

Who has the instead republican political pull to be appointed by Gov. Crist?

Anonymous said...

Dade Countyprides itself in beating to its own drummer.People do not obay the laws.The state attorney believes in applying only those laws it feels appropriate.The public defender believes ethics do not apply to them.The judiciary is terrified of retribution should they do or nsay something for fear of offending some segment of the population.
What a way to live.
At one point we had a fine community.People respected themselves and others.We all cared about our community!
Unfortunatley for all of us,those days are forever lost.

Anonymous said...

Question for one of the traffic guys. I have a couple of parking tickets that were not paid on time, leading to a sharp increase in the fine. (I only wish when my clients did not pay me on time that my receivables grew that fast). Now the total amount owed is more than my monthly note. Is there any way to get the fines reduced, or am I SOL?

Anonymous said...

Request Hrg.before Ass.Admin Judge Leifman who handles parking cases and will grant special dispnsation.

Anonymous said...

So explain then...PDs, clerks, cops, corrections ofcs, and ASAs are less likely to bring in a weapon than a private attorney? The biggest criminals I know fit in those first five categories...but..they get to pass through the "special" door. GENIUS.

The Oracle at Delphi said...

Rodriguez, Korvick,and Colby don't have a chance in hell to get this appointment! Izzy is a good bet and so is Shuminer but.... the winner is Michael Hanzman. Why? Rumor has it he has juice all the way to the top. So remember you read it here first.

ASCAP said...

Isn't the term Shumie copywrited?

The Grammarian said...

That's copyright you boob!

Anonymous said...

Not a single person should get in the building without going through security. No one is immune from coming in one day and going nuts, no one.

Anonymous said...

ESPECIALLY all the former, now current, Judicial-wannabees, up and running again. They should be screened twice, casue obviously they're a little off. Let's hear if for GINA, JOSIE and MIGDA

Anonymous said...

May the Mishkin be with you.

Anonymous said...

When have you seen 2 cops or corrections, bailiffs fighting or arguing. I have seen attorneys going at it in the building or held in contempt in open court for being disrespectful. Keep those arrogant bastards checked at all times. Not all are like that of course.

Anonymous said...

I used to work at REG for the Clerk's ofice and I can tell you that the clerks do not get special treatment from security with the only exception of having a door for them from 7 to 8 or 8 to 9 (dont remember). While I was there I knew alot of the guards, mostly the ones who worked the police and SAO doors and I can tell you the pay is crap. From what I heard, Judge Farnia was there a few weeks back and forgot his Judge ID so he waited with the common folks to get into the building and now the AOC has changed traffic infractions calendars from 8:30am to start at 11:00am and the lines are still long as hell. Now I know why I used to ge tto work an hour early...to get through security.

Anonymous said...

Infraction calendars used to start at 8. As of this week the hearing officer calendars are starting at 10. There are still some judge infraction calendars earlier though. the thought was that it would spread out the crowds waiting to get in the building and help with parking, etc, if some of the criminal stuff was over by the time people showed up for the infractions.
It also means there are infraction calendars at noon which screws up the lunch schedule for the clerks but I'm sure they'll get over it.

R2D2 said...

Associated Press

In response to the upcoming dis-belting of attorneys at the Richard Gerstein Justice Building, one lawyer has come up with a unique idea- and may make money to boot.

A joint venture between Attorney (and Broadway newcomer) Kenneth Weisman and men's clothier Ermenegildo Zegna will bring a belt kiosk to the lobby at the REGJB. A cross-marketing campaign with the MIA-FACDL will encourage lawyers to NOT wear belts into the building. They can rent-a-Zegna for a nominal fee, on a daily weekly or monthly basis.

No word yet on if the Ferragamo or Bally shoe concerns will enter the fray.