Tuesday, March 20, 2007

HILL STREET COURT BLUES

BROWARD COURT HILL STREET BLUES

EPISODE II- THE “HIGH” COURT

[Longtime and careful readers of the blog will remember the Pilot Episode, which debuted on this Blog on February 9, 2007.]

[ A DARK SCREEN WITH WHITE LETTERING]

ROLL CALL 7:02 AM

FADE TO A CROWDED ROOM WITH A BALDING DISTINGUISHED MAN AT A PODIUM. HE IS SERGEANT ESTERHAUS, AND HE RUNS THE ROLL CALL MEETING. HE IS ADDRESSING A GROUP OF 20-30 JUDGES WHO HAVE CROWDED INTO THE ROOM. SOME ARE SIPPING COFFEE, EATING BAGELS AND DOUGHNUTS. A FEW SERIOUS ONES HAVE NOTEBOOKS OPEN.
A FEW IGNORE THE PROCEEDINGS AND CHAT AMONG THEMSELVES.

THERE IS A BLACKBOARD WITH SOME WRITING BEHIND THE SERGEANT:
A FEW NOTES CAN BE SEEN OVER HIS SHOULDER INCLUDING
“Dade sucks”…."minimum mandatories rule!".... “remember…bonds can be raised as well as lowered” and “guidelines are for sissies”

SGT ESTERHAUS: People…people settle down.

Item 9: There were three not guilty verdicts last week. [The room becomes immediately silent and the Judges become very attentive. Esterhaus notices the change and likes it]

SGT: That’s better. Our Chief “DR” wants you all to know that he understands that mistakes happen. [Esterhaus pauses two beats] Just don’t let it happen again. [There is some scattered applause as Esterhaus smiles, and the Judges all relax].

Sgt. Item 10. I have a note here from a Court TV reporter. Whoever stole her notebook and purse from the woman’s lavatory on six during the hearing on Anna Nicole Smith, she would like it back, no questions asked. [There is some low level chatter and several names are called out: “Dale-give it back.” ; "Larry took it"; and “I didn’t know Paul could read” are heard over the din.]

Sgt. Item 11. As you all may have heard, one of our own was taken down over the weekend. Judge Larry Korda was arrested as he communed with nature as it were in Goldman Park on Saturday, for possessing and apparently enjoying a rolled cigarette alleged to contain cannabis sativa.


[There is wide spread hooting and hollering.]

Hold it down people. We can expect a deluge of comments from attorneys and the media, including comments about “the High Court”, and Larry getting the “munchies”, not to mention the off-hand comments about “cronic” and the “good shit”.

You will all recall that because of Korda’s comments last year about a battered woman not speaking English, the Chief required all of us to attend sensitivity training.

[we hear in the background “couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.”, and “how do you say pot in Spanish?”- "Ganja!!" someone replies.]

So in his time of need, the Chief asks all of you to step up and help your colleague. He wants names of all attorneys making smart remarks.
You know the drill about how to handle them.

Sgt: Item last- in connection with Judge Korda, we can expect the Governor to appoint a Judge from out of town to handle this matter. This is no current truth to the rumor the Judge will be from our friends down south in Dade County.


[There are whistles and hoots in the background. “What a buncha woosies” someone yells. "Dade? Is that in America?" and "No Habla ingles in Dade."]

Sgt: However, and I say this off the record- whomever gets appointed might need a friendly reminder that love him or hate him, Korda is one of our own. As such, the out of town Judge needs to be reminded that we have a long memory here on the Hill, and there will come a time when someone from this county gets appointed to handle a case in their county. It might be appropriate to mention that unless they want to see a colleague of theirs slammed, now would be the time to consider granting that motion to suppress. You know how it’s done.
A friendly chat at the coffee pot is all that’s needed.

Sgt. That’s it. We have the blood drive next week, a refresher by the Chief on imposing contempt during trial, the annual roast of the Judge who had the most not guilty verdicts last year, and the famous and much loved Dade Dartboard.

[There are cheers in the room].

Order your dartboard with the picture of your least favorite Dade Defense Attorney. Proceeds go to the window replacement fund.
[All the Judges get up to leave and some make it to the door]

Sgt. Hey…hey HEY. [Everyone stops.]

Lets get some guilty verdicts out there.

ROLL OPENING THEME SONG.

40 comments:

Rumpole said...

From our favourite federal blogger's blog today:

Fixed!
The 11th Circuit reissued Thompson v. United States today, clearing up the name mess that I discussed here and here. It inserted the other DM's middle name Scott. And the Court even dropped a footnote: "This opinion is not referring to attorney David Oscar Markus, who was not involved in the case."

What a relief.

Rumpole says- we can't even get the 11th circuit to issue an opinion in one of our cases beyond "denied" and this guy is getting them to edit their opinion and add footnotes.

Lt. Ray Caetano said...

phil r. is a big hill street blues fan, but then again who isnt.

spicoli said...

Rumpole is David O. Markus.

Anonymous said...

Rump, take a bow, best post ever

Anonymous said...

Can some of the Miami defense attorneys please come North of the Border to give a helping hand to the pansy defense bar in Broward. Someone needs to stand up to these Broward Judges. Everytime I have a case up there I end up in front of a Judge that is worse then the last one. Will a member of the JQC please stand-up

fake john mitchell said...

Now they are saying that the Brain Stem has a new nickname for Torture Boy--"Fredo."

This is sad and pathetic on so many different levels. The President of the United States is referring to the United States Attorney General as the haplessly incompetent oldest son of Godfather Don Corleone. "I'm smart too Michael!" It actually is a very good nickname though.

Anonymous said...

it must drive o marco crazy that he has the same name as david marcus. i am david o marcus not david s marcus.

Anonymous said...

DOM also said this in the post, which Rumpole did not quote:

Added: For the record, I think David Scott Markus is a good guy and a good lawyer, and I am sorry the name confusion has brought unwarranted attention to this opinion.

Anonymous said...

dude
you you brought it to everyones attention when you posted the issue on your blog. who reads innefective assistance of counsel cases law anyway accept post conviction relief attys anyway.
and by the way. your blog is soft like a silly puddy.

Anonymous said...

You said
Added: For the record, I think David Scott Markus is a good guy and a good lawyer, and I am sorry the name confusion has brought unwarranted attention to this opinion.
I say this: Who cares what you think?

Anonymous said...

i want to promote a boxing match between david marcus and david marcus.

david o marcus would go in for the kill.

Anonymous said...

to Tuesday at 6:46 PM

FYI:

FACDL-Miami donated $1,000 to the Court Care fundraiser and we are very proud of it. There was a great turnout at the event and everyone had a good time.

Thanks for your support too.

signed a Board member

Anonymous said...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Anonymous said...

To 3/21 at 1:19am: why are we up at this hour and writing is really the question. I know all the 'sponsored' organizations donated, like FACDL, CABA, FAWL, and of course Mellon, etc. That is VERY admirable and something of which you and FACDL should be proud. I only meant that the whole point of that particular event was to raise $ to put in place at REG what is already in place at the family courthouse. The direct beneficiaries will be those that practice at REG. It was a great event and a nice turnout (including some judges who donated without being asked); it just would have been nice to have had a greater defense bar presence, since that's who will benefit from funds collected. There were probably more State prosecutors present, than members of the defense bar, and virtually no PDs were spotted. I don't know how to create greater awareness for participation of your individual members, but since you're on the Board that's up to you. I'm just making an observation here. Again, FACDL has every right to be proud of their donation. I'm talking now about the regular members showing up and donating, to show support.

Anonymous said...

A LOVE FEST OVER AT DAVID O'S BLOG !!

Spicoli said...
Aloha Mr. Markus!
I remember you from Killian LD! I've been defending you over at Rumpole's blog. Not that you need my "validation" and stuff. But, I thought you were a good guy as I got older and hit ya a few times in the break rounds! I beat ya once when I was in eight grade. I think I might have gotten ya again but I recall you winning a majority of them.

Wonder what happened to the other Marcus? Wasn't there a Jeff from Pompano? And that Zoe. Think she went to Wake.

Well, I don't think its' cool to constantly rip ya over there, but, truth is you got a link and this hit because of it.

Also, I remember the misconceptions I had of you in 8th grade but as you grew older you helped out (if memory serves) a girl named Christine and a guy named Ken? They were cool.

Don't know the history between you and the Dade scene, but the blog is a double edged sword as you see. Don't sweat it. Spcoli's got your back and my guess is Rumpole will back down. The others are just morons.

Later Dude. You were one of the Best LD'ers I ever went against. I miss them debate girls... (gotta get that 2AR in, i did beat ya!!!)

Rumpole said...

I did not see the "added" info by DOM on his blog and I did not intentionally decide not to post it. He is a class act and a very fine attorney.

Ronnie the Limo Driver said...

Howard reads this blog every day. He loves it.

Anonymous said...

Why don't we make drug testing mandatory for all sitting judges? There might be some new openings on the bench.

Migna in 2008!!!

Anonymous said...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Anonymous said...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz:
You might wake up if you click on Spicoli's latest link.

Anonymous said...

Fingerhut is Rumpole.

Anonymous said...

that link calls for a mid morning wack.

attorney general alberto gonzalez said...

It has come to my attention that certain subversive and demeaning comments have recently appeared on this blog and, because of this, the United States government is going to close the blog down. Using National Security Letters, the FBI has already gathered information identifying the host and contributors to this blog, as well as bank information, tax information, etc., and the worst offenders are already being held in secure locations outside the jurisdiction of your feeble Florida courts. Don't tell me anything about habeas corpus, since we have already removed that provision from the Constitution, if it was ever there in the first place.

We expect to appoint a new U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of Florida--George P. Bush--within the next few days. Anyone who wishes to avoid discipline should contact the new U.S. Attorney's Office using one of the following attorneys: Dan Foreman, Joaquin Perez, or Ruben Oliva. If you don't have contact information for these attorneys, please contact the FBI, and they will provide you with their cards.

Please Govern Yourselves Accordingly.

Rumpole said...

Mr. Spicoli, I suggest you attend a remedial english class at once. 1- your posts are too long. 2- Your posts are too obtuse.
3- Make your point quick and be done with it.

Anonymous said...

Rump dela Rump is really too funny.

spicoli said...

Rumpole,
O.K. sir. Spicoli needs Mr. Hand's guidance. Thank you. You didn't deny being David O. Markus BTW. I will give you a hint, I am a published author several times over. Obviously, by publishers who are mildly brain dead. I'm happy to take advice from you or David O. Markus. :) Like this site a lot for whatever that's worth. Long time reader and writer, first time blogger as Spicoli. I will now go to remedial English. Dude.

Anonymous said...

Don't you rumpole predictors know that we are all aware you only mention these names for reaction? No one who knows anything about Markus thinks he's Rumpole.

Anonymous said...

Hey Mr. A.G. It would be of the utmost importance for purposes of your credibility if you spelled the name your mother gave you at birth properly.

rumpole hunter said...

There is a "rum dela rump" post. Now watch, some weird post will happen, it will be in code. I'm watching.

Anonymous said...

Faye Furillio Says:

You know, I thought Judge Korda's courtroom smelled funny. I thought it was a combination of incense and feet. Silly me.

Anonymous said...

Ed Locascio GUILTY on all counts.

Anonymous said...

People want names..........GINA JOSIE AND MIGDA........you go girls............

Rumpole said...

Speaking as a trial lawyer, kudos to Gayle Levine for pulling out a close one. Our thoughts are with Amsel and Raben. We have been there. It's crushing to lose a close big case. Of course, speaking as a person, our thoughts are with the next of kin for Mrs. Locascio. This was apparently a horrible horrible crime.

spicoli said...

Hey 2:47:
I wouldn't consider my relatonship with Mr. Markus a "Love Fest." I simply did not like commentators, once I determined who he was, ripping him. I distinctly remembered him being a good kid and an excellent debater over 15 years ago. He really has no clue who I am. Our limited meetings then were more akin to Ali/Frazier rounds (for debaters). Like Rumpole, I have the utmost respect for David O. Markus, and what I can tell you is that I will continue to stand up for him every time one comments about him in an unfair and negative light. Especially considering he really goes to bat for all defense attorneys without the veil of anonymity. I simply think you are jealous. See, 7:39 AM.

p.s. 8:48, The post and link were deleted as was my response. Hope you had a good whack this morning. Keep it in your pants as that link is elsewhere.(being obtuse for a reason).

Aloha and trying to ride a shorter wave.

Anonymous said...

Korda: There's the usual names- Haddad, Bogenshutz, Black. I want the best.

Korda's advisor: The real drop dead best?

Korda. yeah.

Korda's advisor: The Money Is No Object Best?

Korda: Yeah.

Korda's Advisor: Then I have one letter for you.

Korda: What?

Korda's Advisor: Q

When people are in trouble- they call lawyers.

When lawyers or Judges are in trouble- they call the Q.

Fear the Q
Respect the Q

Close your eyes

become the Q

a.g. gonzalez(s) said...

You mean my name doesn't end with a "z"? My staff needs to tell me these things.

Anonymous said...

Yo Gonzales!
No staffers left... Funny thing is, as you intended, "The Patriot Act" could be construed by a nimrod like you (as opposed to fake you) to invade Rumpole's most sanscrosanct matter of national security.

On the other hand, J. Edgar Hoover and his cronys did the same thing with groups such as these. Really, not so funny after all. Welcome to a brave new world.

Anonymous said...

Hot Off The Press!

Migna Llorenz was seeing at a prominent politicos office today making a so call depo$it to his well-being. Seems that Migna is an avid Monopoly Player and is aiming at buying a seat, one person at a time. Waiting for her at street level, sleepy Bennett awaited her return in the Bmer.

Anonymous said...

* seen

Anonymous said...

I hear Laura M. got a lot of the "Q" and Ceci thus left the "Q" for a better "D" that she could "Q" all night.

Any "Q's"?