ALL OUR PROBLEMS ANALYZED

(Rumpole interjects, as is our want, [ here] in the corpus of the post.)

Jason Grey writes:

If I may, I will try to dissect the different species found in and about thebuilding.

State Pds: huge case loads , clients that snap their fingers atyou like you are a waiter, starvation wages (except the brass of course),clients who are either nasty, mean, pathetic, crazy, drunk/stoned(in court)or all of the above, none of whom respect you ,or even believe you are alawyer. Little training ,god help you if you try to get appeals to answer alegal question (they will look at you like a bug), [Rumpole notes: completely different on the State side, where their legal division is always available to come to court and help out. Too bad for the PDs. ]
You have to stand aside while us privates take the podium most of which babble stupidly for a continuance while most of the rest seek to withdraw to avoid trial. You should be in trial EVERY trial week. More then once if possible. Best job I ever had!

Fed pds : small case loads; high pay, offset by no meaningful discovery,horrible and unforgivably complex sentencing guidelines, an opponent who has endless resources and will fly a witness from Guam to rebut some minor point, uber conservative judges who never can be challenged in anelection (read demigod), jury pools that seem to be drawn from a 700 clubtaping and an appellate court that wont overturn a pancake if it's burning. [Rumpole nods, nice analogy].

Asa: Gigantic case load, share cropper wages, [ Rumpole notes that it is a shame the SAO cannot manage their budget like the PD’s office can.] witness who either want death for a bicycle theft, or won't show up to prosecute a multipleshooting, all of whom call your boss to complain about you.
Cops who's story you don't believe, won't show up, hate you, or think you are an inexperienced idiot. supervisors who say no any time you ask them anything. Dealing with Pds who think all of their clients are innocent, and privates who whine about probation for a client who is charged with a 1st pbl has a dozen priors and comes to court with a t- shirt that says "fuck the man" in neon letters.

Lets not forget juries who won't believe anything a cop says and anoffice that provides next to no training or support(except of course your classmates), trying to make a difference and not to forget you have thepower to affect or even destroy peoples lives.

Private attorneys: wanted to be a (fill in the blank) [Rumpole fills the blank….porn stars, CEO’s who sleep with porn stars….Perry Mason with porn stars in the office….] , but wound up here, chasing clients for money, having to ask for a 6th continuance because you haven't been paid (the point of the whole exercise), or because no one especially cops ever show for deposition. Judges who put you on hour standby as if you have nothing else to do… ever . Asa’s who won't listen, or call you back, Federal judges who don't care what you are doing or where you are and threaten to send the Us marshals to come get you. Clients who won't listen to advise, and all of whom When choice "A" is the plea offer, and choice"B" is a trial want choice "c" which doesn't exist, then hire a new lawyer when you cant get them what they want. clients who refuse to go to trial even ifthey are innocent if the offer is non-jail. And judges who scare them out oftrial by telling some 40 year old woman she is looking at 5 years on a 1stoffense shoplifting. People hating you because you are a lawyer and lastlyhaving to explain for the millionth time how you can defend those people,even to civil lawyers.
Dealing with asa’ s who can’t , won’t , or who aren't allowed to make a decision. standing in line at the podium like we are in Morison's cafeteria X 6 courtrooms. Bounced checks, visiting clients in jail that is always on lockdown , shift change or the 2 hours before and after shift change nobody employed at any jail will do anything. Judges who have never been in a criminal court, or for that matter a jury trial , asking for case law on everything most of which is devoid of case law because no one at any level has ever questioned such an obvious point before.

We do get to drive nice cars though.
Sorry to be so long winded remember we are all in this together more onJudges later
Jason Grey ,

Rumpole says: Does it get any better than that?

IN DEFENSE OF JUDGE JIMENEZ
Anonymous rises for the defense:


All the griping about Jimenez is ridiculous. He gives defendants a good trial on evidentiary rulings. Yes he is tough on sentencing but does that really make him a bad judge? In the minds of defense attorneys maybe. If you really think that, does it mean that all asa's should dislike certain Judges who will remain nameless who sentence less than harshly. If an asa expressed that opinion, you and Jason, and Bobby and Brian would be all over the writer.What defense attorneys really dislike about Jimenez is that he makes them go to trial which is what most defense attorneys, If their clients are out on bond, would to delay for as long as possible so twenty incompetent asa's get a chance to butcher the file and witness will disappear. Many ASA's gripe about not for any strategic reason like delay but they really just don’t want to try cases and are just at the SAO to polish their resume and leave after three yearsI know its rough that a judge doesn’t let you get your 10th continuance because you have a dui trial, have a five minute arraignment in federal court, or your dog ate your motion to suppress. Grow up all you whining infants, I know its really shocking when a Judge expects you to be prepared and actually wants to try cases.Enough gotta go watch The Shield

Rumpole says: thanks for writing Judge Jiminez (how many times can we use that line until people get so sick of it they stop reading?) Really, it was a nice defense of Judge Jiminez. For what’s its worth, he has always been nice to us.

See You In The Court Parking Lot driving our nice (but leased) car.